Sometimes I really miss home

[meltoine]

Everywhere, lol

Despite being conservative, I do not fit in in the South, as I am anti-gun, anti-death penalty, anti corporal punishment, and anti-pick up truck.

[panicked]

I grew up in Pennsylvania. I know live in Texas. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

[killercupcake]

I feel like this with 90% of our circle of friends. I get major anxiety going to get togethers because I just don't have the energy to get into this shit anymore.

[killercupcake]

Jan 22, 2015 18:02:02 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 22, 2015 17:59:53 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

I feel like this with 90% of our circle of friends. I get major anxiety going to get togethers because I just don't have the energy to get into this shit anymore.

There was something I was going to talk to you about and I forgot you deleted FB and now I can't remember what it was about.

Text me when you remember!

[audette]

Isolating? Yep. I think I've only made a couple really close friends since we started all this moving around crap, and I think part of what helped that is we all ended up at several of the same installations at the same time and have some common interests. Other than that, I usually feel like a hanger-on. Like the person you also invite because, well, you _ought to_, not because of any particular specific desire to include them.

I think of two places when I think of "home". Not really sure which one I would want to return to more.

[meltoine]

I don't think I've made one friend during MH's time in the military who would still be a friend if we didn't have same-age kids. I mean, they're nice enough to spend an afternoon with at the park while our kids run around, but I'm not telling them any deep dark secrets.

[Dory1988]

Panicked I can relate to you. I grew up in PA and i hated San Antonio. I did not belong there. I don't know what it was but I was just really uncomfortable there. However, I visited my great aunt over a 96 while I was there. She lives in a more rural part of TX that I really enjoyed.

I'm a registered republican but only so I can vote in the primaries. I really don't consider myself republican or democrat in my views. I maintain a healthy mix I like to think. Because of that I've found I can fit in pretty much anywhere. I'm really easy going and carefree so I loved CA. I actually really like NC because it's very, for lack of a better term, redneck and that's really similar to where I grew up in PA so it's kind of like home.

[beans]

I totally felt that way when we lived in NC. I still tell people that I "got out early for good behavior" lol while H stayed behind.

I don't love my current city or region. But it's better than NC! Lol. I feel you completely.

[Dory1988]

Jan 22, 2015 19:19:18 GMT -5 meltoine said:

I don't think I've made one friend during MH's time in the military who would still be a friend if we didn't have same-age kids. I mean, they're nice enough to spend an afternoon with at the park while our kids run around, but I'm not telling them any deep dark secrets.

I didn't feel like I made any lasting friends prior to this duty station. I mean I have the people I went to boot camp with and a few people from 29 Palms but I hardly even talk to them anymore.

[Deleted]

Yeah, we have a civilian woman at work who is SUPER conservative, and when she found out I was PCSing to Colorado in a few months, she decided she needed to hunt me down and warn me about all the CRAZY LIBERALS who live there. She said she would pray for me.

The south is pretty bad, for me. I mean, I've lived in a place where people were only friendly to me because my skin was the "right" color and because I had the "right" accent (I grew up in VA, so I've been known to throw a "y'all" in there every now and then). Everyone assumes we're republicans. People here don't think "the gays" should get married.

I'm kind of looking forward to leaving.

[G22]

I feel so far I haven't felt out of place anywhere we've ended up living. I loved many things about CA and same with MT, yet both are very different from each other and where I grew up in the Midwest.

I do agree that I've made very few friends I keep in touch with after leaving a base. It partly my own fault though. I worked full time the first 2 years we were here and never did any spouses club stuff aside from volleyball in the fall. My few good friends all started popping out kids, which has made it hard for me to be around them. In a painful infertile its my own issue kind of way. Over the last 2 years, I feel more content to hang out with my H and the furbabies and go exploring outdoors or run. I do hope that at our next base I put myself out there more and make more friends. Some days being a loner sucks.

[G22]

Jan 22, 2015 20:44:31 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 22, 2015 20:33:52 GMT -5 G22 said:

I feel so far I haven't felt out of place anywhere we've ended up living. I loved many things about CA and same with MT, yet both are very different from each other and where I grew up in the Midwest.

I do agree that I've made very few friends I keep in touch with after leaving a base. It partly my own fault though. I worked full time the first 2 years we were here and never did any spouses club stuff aside from volleyball in the fall. My few good friends all started popping out kids, which has made it hard for me to be around them. In a painful infertile its my own issue kind of way. Over the last 2 years, I feel more content to hang out with my H and the furbabies and go exploring outdoors or run. I do hope that at our next base I put myself out there more and make more friends. Some days being a loner sucks.

How's stuff going for you?

Its going! I'm traveling back out to JBLM this weekend for IVF #2. I had a stupid dream the other night it got cancelled over having a cyst(which I've had happen in the past for real) and now that's turned into a real life fear. I'm having all sorts of weird anxiety and worry over the cycle being cancelled. But my first appt with the clinic is Monday so I'll know soon enough. 

Outside of that I'm trying to just focus on all the good things we have going on later this year. And no matter the outcome of this round, I'll still have a good year. Just trying to stay positive!

[G22]

Jan 22, 2015 21:00:34 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 22, 2015 20:51:38 GMT -5 G22 said:

Its going! I'm traveling back out to JBLM this weekend for IVF #2. I had a stupid dream the other night it got cancelled over having a cyst(which I've had happen in the past for real) and now that's turned into a real life fear. I'm having all sorts of weird anxiety and worry over the cycle being cancelled. But my first appt with the clinic is Monday so I'll know soon enough. 

Outside of that I'm trying to just focus on all the good things we have going on later this year. And no matter the outcome of this round, I'll still have a good year. Just trying to stay positive!

I'll cross my fingers for you this weekend!

Thank you!

[amaristella]

I'm thinking back to my time in Georgia, which is pretty much the most conservative place that I have lived. Guys. I must have a tattoo on my head that says Californian.....Um. Right. That. Plus it was a college town so things were never that bad to start with.

My biggest problem in any region has been trying to find Mexican food that even resembles what I'm used to. I try to cover it up by enjoying the local specialties but there is no substitute for a proper fish taco.

Let's see Hawaii isn't that OCONUS culturally. The only thing that truly gets to me here is how many people ride in the back of pick up trucks on the freeway. Guys just because it's legal doesn't make it safe. And I've seen one person sitting in a lawn chair while doing it too which is actually against the law. Not that the lawn chair makes any difference when the laws of physics are applied.

As far as making friends I guess I'm lucky I always seem to be able to meet a diverse bunch of people everywhere I go. Enough to keep it fresh. And now I have friends all over the place that I miss.

[amaristella]

Jan 22, 2015 20:51:38 GMT -5 G22 said:

Jan 22, 2015 20:44:31 GMT -5 Stan said:

How's stuff going for you?

Its going! I'm traveling back out to JBLM this weekend for IVF #2. I had a stupid dream the other night it got cancelled over having a cyst(which I've had happen in the past for real) and now that's turned into a real life fear. I'm having all sorts of weird anxiety and worry over the cycle being cancelled. But my first appt with the clinic is Monday so I'll know soon enough. 

Outside of that I'm trying to just focus on all the good things we have going on later this year. And no matter the outcome of this round, I'll still have a good year. Just trying to stay positive!

I totally get the anxiety. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. I'll be thinking of you Monday for sure. I want success for you guys so badly so here is some internet perfect cycle dust *sprinkle*.

[brandienee]

Oklahoma was pretty terrible. OMG. The heat, the crazy version of Christianity, the "texasness" **Shudder**.

When we left, people apologized to us for having to deal with "those awful New Jersey people"... and we love it here! Ha.

But I will say that I am only anti-truck when the truck has no other purpose than looking cool. Farmers, Ranchers and Contractors get a pass, and only if they're not assholes about it.

[G22]

Jan 22, 2015 21:28:28 GMT -5 amaristella said:

Jan 22, 2015 20:51:38 GMT -5 G22 said:

Its going! I'm traveling back out to JBLM this weekend for IVF #2. I had a stupid dream the other night it got cancelled over having a cyst(which I've had happen in the past for real) and now that's turned into a real life fear. I'm having all sorts of weird anxiety and worry over the cycle being cancelled. But my first appt with the clinic is Monday so I'll know soon enough. 

Outside of that I'm trying to just focus on all the good things we have going on later this year. And no matter the outcome of this round, I'll still have a good year. Just trying to stay positive!

I totally get the anxiety. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. I'll be thinking of you Monday for sure. I want success for you guys so badly so here is some internet perfect cycle dust *sprinkle*.

Your so sweet Thank you!

[audette]

Jan 22, 2015 21:00:34 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 22, 2015 20:51:38 GMT -5 G22 said:

Its going! I'm traveling back out to JBLM this weekend for IVF #2. I had a stupid dream the other night it got cancelled over having a cyst(which I've had happen in the past for real) and now that's turned into a real life fear. I'm having all sorts of weird anxiety and worry over the cycle being cancelled. But my first appt with the clinic is Monday so I'll know soon enough. 

Outside of that I'm trying to just focus on all the good things we have going on later this year. And no matter the outcome of this round, I'll still have a good year. Just trying to stay positive!

I'll cross my fingers for you this weekend!

Me too! Here's hoping this one is the one!

[audette]

Oh, and Stan - it's pretty hard to "accidently" eat kimchi... It's usually quite obvious. And, thankfully for me, is usually served in a small side dish, so I can eat as much or as little as I want...

[audette]

Jan 22, 2015 22:07:36 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 22, 2015 22:02:25 GMT -5 audette said:

Oh, and Stan - it's pretty hard to "accidently" eat kimchi... It's usually quite obvious. And, thankfully for me, is usually served in a small side dish, so I can eat as much or as little as I want...

My Korean boss gave it to me in once. I didn't know what it was or how awful it tasted! She just said, "Oh here is some Korean food I made for my American daughter!". She was a hoot. She also used to say hilariously inappropriate things and say, "It's okay because I'm Asian!" in a singsongy voice. 

There are actually different kinds of kimchi.  I like some.  Others, not so much...

[brandienee]

I love kimchi, is this a weird thing?

When I was little our Korean neighbor would babysit us and feed us rice and kimchi for lunch. Those were good days.

[meltoine]

Jan 22, 2015 21:30:07 GMT -5 brandienee said:

But I will say that I am only anti-truck when the truck has no other purpose than looking cool. Farmers, Ranchers and Contractors get a pass, and only if they're not assholes about it.

Agreed that actually needing a truck is different, but here like feel like every family has at least one, and it's a competition to see whose is the biggest/most lifted/most powerful/whatever and it just boggles my mind. It's a car. That you drive to your job. As a nurse. (In the case of my neighbor). 

Not it to mention that none of these people appears to have a clue how big their damn truck really is when it comes to turning a corner in front of my tiny car, or choosing a parking spot. And they have blind spots the size of Texas that my aforementioned tiny car gets lost in for days, and they don't bother to look over their shoulders. 

I feel eel like its a whole culture that I can't help but be intolerant of because it seems so wasteful. These trucks cost like $60K!

[audette]

Jan 22, 2015 22:21:08 GMT -5 brandienee said:

I love kimchi, is this a weird thing?

When I was little our Korean neighbor would babysit us and feed us rice and kimchi for lunch. Those were good days.

Perhaps unusual for someone (assuming you don't have a Korean background yourself). But not weird. Some of the Americans we meet here love the stuff.

The good news is that you can probably buy it somewhere near any army base in the US. Not sure I've seen one without a moderate Korean community nearby.

[audette]

Jan 22, 2015 22:05:57 GMT -5 Stan said:

amaristella, there is no good Mexican food except in Southern Cal and Baja. Even in Texas (Dallas and El Paso) it's not right. I accept that Mexico is a large country and like the US, food will not be the same everywhere, and as such, people who immigrate here will not all make it the same. But it's sad. And it was so cheap at home.

You guys don't want to know how expensive (and difficult) it is to get something approximating Mexican food here...

[amaristella]

Jan 22, 2015 22:05:57 GMT -5 Stan said:

amaristella, there is no good Mexican food except in Southern Cal and Baja. Even in Texas (Dallas and El Paso) it's not right. I accept that Mexico is a large country and like the US, food will not be the same everywhere, and as such, people who immigrate here will not all make it the same. But it's sad. And it was so cheap at home.

Texas (and many places near Texas) have Texmex in my opinion. Noticeable difference. I'm sure if I actually spent real time in Texas and had the opportunity to look around I would do fine but just passing through, nope!

[amaristella]

Jan 22, 2015 22:57:24 GMT -5 audette said:

Jan 22, 2015 22:05:57 GMT -5 Stan said:

amaristella, there is no good Mexican food except in Southern Cal and Baja. Even in Texas (Dallas and El Paso) it's not right. I accept that Mexico is a large country and like the US, food will not be the same everywhere, and as such, people who immigrate here will not all make it the same. But it's sad. And it was so cheap at home.

You guys don't want to know how expensive (and difficult) it is to get something approximating Mexican food here...

You probably can't even find enough ingredients to make it yourself, I bet. Now that I think about it there were not tons of Chinese food ingredients in Georgia. I honestly just ate tons of barbecue when I lived in Georgia.

[audette]

Jan 23, 2015 0:06:17 GMT -5 amaristella said:

Jan 22, 2015 22:57:24 GMT -5 audette said:

You guys don't want to know how expensive (and difficult) it is to get something approximating Mexican food here...

You probably can't even find enough ingredients to make it yourself, I bet. Now that I think about it there were not tons of Chinese food ingredients in Georgia. I honestly just ate tons of barbecue when I lived in Georgia.

You can find _some_ Mexican ingredients at the commissary.  Sometimes.  But, I can't reliably get avacados, nor is cilantro regularly stocked...  Fresh limes are unusual, too.

[amaristella]

Jan 23, 2015 0:32:58 GMT -5 audette said:

Jan 23, 2015 0:06:17 GMT -5 amaristella said:

You probably can't even find enough ingredients to make it yourself, I bet. Now that I think about it there were not tons of Chinese food ingredients in Georgia. I honestly just ate tons of barbecue when I lived in Georgia.

You can find _some_ Mexican ingredients at the commissary.  Sometimes.  But, I can't reliably get avacados, nor is cilantro regularly stocked...  Fresh limes are unusual, too.

Shit. Cilantro is Mexican? I thought everyone used it. It is my lifeblood!

[panicked]

Jan 22, 2015 22:57:24 GMT -5 audette said:

Jan 22, 2015 22:05:57 GMT -5 Stan said:

amaristella, there is no good Mexican food except in Southern Cal and Baja. Even in Texas (Dallas and El Paso) it's not right. I accept that Mexico is a large country and like the US, food will not be the same everywhere, and as such, people who immigrate here will not all make it the same. But it's sad. And it was so cheap at home.

You guys don't want to know how expensive (and difficult) it is to get something approximating Mexican food here...

The first thing I wanted after landing stateside was restaurant chips and salsa. We used to drool when people would come up from Humphries and talk about the Chili's there.

[nsl]

"Home" for me is one of the most conservative cities/states in the country. I'm a lifelong liberal, and never felt like I fit in politically or religiously with the majority culture there. All of H's assignments since we've been married (over 11 years now) have been to places that are largely politically liberal, which has pretty much cemented my decision to never again live in my hometown.

As far as Mexican food is concerned, I'll just say that it's nearly impossible to find real Tex-Mex in El Paso. Our Mexican food is the real deal, albeit the real deal viewed through the lens of Juarez and Chihuahua.