i understand what you are saying. But I don't like to see people feel like they are getting run off the boards. I've absolutely said things here that I regret and would hate them being brought up in a post where I already felt vulnerable. This board would be so boring if only people who never annoyed anyone posted!
She was not run off the boards, for crying out loud.
No she wasn't but she definitely felt attacked last night. I think she FELT like she was being run off. Which is dramatic but some people are more prone to that than others.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Jan 24, 2015 11:43:25 GMT -5
I think every single one of us likes and dislikes certain people and therefore comments and likes accordingly depending upon our feelings on the poster. Had the OP been someone else, this thread might have headed in another direction with some of the same responders responding very differently.
I don't take issue with the use of surprise because even if you're not on birth control or are trying, babies can still surprise the fuck out of you or make freak out even if you did expect it.
Meki did call out Autumn, though, on a sensitive topic. I would have jumped in with both feet, too, at that point.
ETA - I often check to see who has liked rude or nice posts and either go, "yay! They like me!" Or "dick!" accordingly. But then I promptly forget. I'm like a sieve.
Aw, thanks RMD. Your IF Cred is still in full force, IMHO. Â
To be clear, it isn't that I can't imagine that she's shocked and worried. And that babies are hard. I was fucking SHOCKED when I got my BFP, and I was shocked at how surprised and shocked I was.Â
That said, it is, IMO, disingenuous to continue posting "OMG SURPRISE PREGNANCY!" when you admit to not using b/c and knowing that you are fertile. That was my only point. Unexpected? Surprising? Shocking, even? Yes. All of my very own pregnancy are those things, and I've got an IUI baby!
"Surprise Pregnancy"? Ehhh, that feels like a stretch for me.Â
I don't understand why anyone who's experienced IF or a loss has to stand on one side, with total ownership of the experience. I feel like if one is this offended with Meki's word choice, that the issue isn't really with Meki.
IF is so isolating. I think it's natural to form bonds around this since it's so hard to talk about IRL, especially with people who haven't been there. I do agree that we often stand on one side if an issue/post...I guess I think that while I might not feel one way about something I can understand someone else feeling that way and I'll support them through it. If that even makes sense.
Mekia's word choice didn't bother me. Her tagging autumn in this thread where -other than liking a post-she wasn't involved was a bad move IMO. I have no issues with people talking about surprise pregnancies. I mean, sure it hurts a little because why can't it be that easy for us....but I fully realize that's on me. So I try not to let that show (not that I'm always successful).
Anyways. I'm not sure any of that made sense. Sorry.
I think every single one of us likes and dislikes certain people and therefore comments and likes accordingly depending upon their feelings on the poster. Had the OP been someone else, this thread might have headed in another direction with some of the same responders responding very differently.
Oh, I can fully admit to this as well.
She's never been my favorite, which is why I rarely respond to her stuff. Her "omg surprise pregnancy!" posts have been driving me nuts, and I responded in a bitchy way. I'm not generally a bitchy person, I rarely post bitchy things, and in general I'm very supportive of anybody with IF/IF anxiety.
I clearly wasn't the only person who was thinking what I said. And, in conclusion, if Meiki wanted to call out AR or me, that's fine. But like littleduck said last night - she went from zero to FUCK YOU in no time at all while flat out admitting that she couldn't remember if I'd ever said anything offensive too/about her.
I don't really care about anything besides the "she was run off the board comment". No, no one is run off the board (well except maybe amoosed, but that didn't work). I hate when people say that.
She has left before. I am sure she will be back.
I didn't say she was run of the board- what I said was SHE felt like she was being run off by being attacked over a sensitive subject. Which is her perception and not necessarily reality. I also told her in another post I disagreed with how she handled herself but I don't like it when a pile on leads to an unnecessary gbcngbcn. I can see how she felt attacked harshly I guess is my point and I hate to see that.
IF is so isolating. I think it's natural to form bonds around this since it's so hard to talk about IRL, especially with people who haven't been there. I do agree that we often stand on one side if an issue/post...I guess I think that while I might not feel one way about something I can understand someone else feeling that way and I'll support them through it. If that even makes sense.
Mekia's word choice didn't bother me. Her tagging autumn in this thread where -other than liking a post-she wasn't involved was a bad move IMO. I have no issues with people talking about surprise pregnancies. I mean, sure it hurts a little because why can't it be that easy for us....but I fully realize that's on me. So I try not to let that show (not that I'm always successful).
Anyways. I'm not sure any of that made sense. Sorry.
You're the sweetest. But I do have to point out that Que is probably the most supportive person on these boards to the infertile population for someone not currently going through it. She gets it.
<3 Oh I know, Que? has always been fabulous to me. I was more trying to explain for others in this thread. I know the jumble of words I threw together didn't make that especially clear, lol
I think every single one of us likes and dislikes certain people and therefore comments and likes accordingly depending upon their feelings on the poster. Had the OP been someone else, this thread might have headed in another direction with some of the same responders responding very differently.
Oh, I can fully admit to this as well.Â
She's never been my favorite, which is why I rarely respond to her stuff. Her "omg surprise pregnancy!" posts have been driving me nuts, and I responded in a bitchy way. I'm not generally a bitchy person, I rarely post bitchy things, and in general I'm very supportive of anybody with IF/IF anxiety.Â
I clearly wasn't the only person who was thinking what I said. And, in conclusion, if Meiki wanted to call out AR or me, that's fine. But like littleduck said last night - she went from zero to FUCK YOU in no time at all while flat out admitting that she couldn't remember if I'd ever said anything offensive too/about her.
You made the thread about IF. Not meki. She was worried about not being excited yet about her pregnancy. Which, by the way, is totally normal and understandable.
Just as I don't blame Autumn for responding after being called out, I would have told you to fuck off too had I been meki in this situation.
Post by whiskeyandwine on Jan 24, 2015 12:00:13 GMT -5
I get that, @stilljustash. Like I said, I don't think I'm generally a bitchy/mean poster, and I'm glad you don't as well. But I do admit to being bitchy in here.
I also told her in another post I disagreed with how she handled herself but I don't like it when a pile on leads to an unnecessary gbcngbcn.
In her words, she didn't leave because she felt piled upon or unsupported. If fact, she gets tons of support here. But she said she left because she "offends everyone." If you feel that you've offended someone, then maybe the thing to do is apologize or at least don't antagonize them until you pick up your toys and leave in a huff.
So even her GBCGBCN post came across insincere and disingenuous to me.
To be honest, I saw that post before this one. I was surprised that it had so many views before any comments. She may have left because she felt like she was being offensive because no one had begged her to stay.
Post by VeryViolet on Jan 24, 2015 12:14:35 GMT -5
I am definitely losing my IF card for this one but do we really think it is crazy that meki's mind jumped to IF when she didn't get ku right away. I think she is only guilty of not being sensitive to her audience with that post whenever it was. I mean we spend some part of our day on a diverse board of women many of whom have had struggled TTC. Let's not pretend that her having the thought is so crazy and dramatic. Posting it was a bad idea and insensitive at best.
Also, I was using pull and pray as my form of BC with my doctors blessing. My doctor told me the risks and how to do it and basically said it is very effective when used correctly it is just easy to not get out in time. I am sure my IF also helps with his go ahead but I lol at people who are all "it can't be a surprise if you are just pulling out" I was fucking shocked when I got my BFP and I got pregnant with the help of medical professionals.
Lastly, I liked a lot of controversial shit in this thread. Please just call those people out I liked it because they express themselves better than I do.
Going 0 to fuck you is SUPPOSED to be a joke around here. So is being an incredible bitch. Yet it's all over the place in here on all sides.
I'm not afraid of taking a stand, having an opinion, or occasionally being an asshole. I do not speak from a place of innocence or overall sweetness. I am not trying to shut down the conversation or be the boss of ML. But at this juncture, unless people are going to start calming down and owning all of their shit in here without defensiveness (and I mean, you know, EVERYONE), how productive is this? Is this REALLY how people want to form/destroy these fake-but-actually-very-real relationships on here? People are arguing positions based on "you clicked a thumb picture" and "gerunds are acceptable where noun forms are not." I mean, whoa.
I have always called Jack my surprise pregnancy even though it was failed NFP.
Calling him unplanned seems cold. I can't imagine when the subject coming up saying "Oh yes, Jack was unplanned." /grump face
I don't know many people who are keeping the baby who refer to their pregnancy as unplanned. It is always surprise.
Eh. My mom called me an accident and a mistake yesterday. Which sounds worse than she meant it.
My mom, the mother of five, famously announced once that she always wanted two kids. She had one, then twins, so she had her wish for about ten minutes. I was fourth, so ...
That said, I was 41 and the mother of a 5-month-old when I had my let's call it "unexpected" pregnancy. I was simultaneously thrilled and "omgwtf do we do now" for at least several weeks.
Going 0 to fuck you is SUPPOSED to be a joke around here. So is being an incredible bitch. Yet it's all over the place in here on all sides.
I'm not afraid of taking a stand, having an opinion, or occasionally being an asshole. I do not speak from a place of innocence or overall sweetness. I am not trying to shut down the conversation or be the boss of ML. But at this juncture, unless people are going to start calming down and owning all of their shit in here without defensiveness (and I mean, you know, EVERYONE), how productive is this? Is this REALLY how people want to form/destroy these fake-but-actually-very-real relationships on here? People are arguing positions based on "you clicked a thumb picture" and "gerunds are acceptable where noun forms are not." I mean, whoa.
I did some self reflection about how I perceived the OP andI think mp is right that for a lot of us it's likely because of the poster, not the post itself. I admittedly am tightly wound re: the use of "surprise pregnancy" when not using contraception, but more than that I think it's because Mekiakoo strikes me as someone who requires a lot more support from the board (and delicacy in handling) than she gives back. That may not be fair or accurate, but my initial response was "oh. more mekiakoo drama." And getting up on her cross with "I guess I'll just leave because I offend everyone" furthers that impression.
I think this is pretty much exactly it for the most part. I know for me, this is what I was thinking. While I can see the points on either side, Mekia has had her moments of being pretty harsh/judging to other posters and then reacting like a wounded kitten when she is not treated with kid gloves or everyone agreeing with her.
I thought IUDs were inserted at the 6 week PP checkup but it turns out I have to order it from the manufacturer and we have no condoms- thus, the pull & pray.
Clinton was in office when I had sex ed. Thanks a-fucking-lot, Clinton.
Off to go like some posts.
Okay? It was a "Thanks, Obama" joke. I guess the app ate my winking face.
But, yeah, I am of the mindset that it's not a surprise if you've been having unprotected sex. P + V = baby for most people. Pull and pray isn't BC. I'm not questioning the slew of emotions surrounding an unplanned pregnancy (or any pregnancy for that matter), but unless it was a BC failure, it's not really a surprise.
I laughed at your post and was joking with you. I should insert TIC.