Post by curlysue82 on Jan 26, 2015 15:24:44 GMT -5
kids 18 months apart and 24 months apart? Put another way - if you know you want kids relatively close in age, is one of those options significantly more difficult than the other?
Not sure why I'm contemplating this as if I truly get to choose!
Post by ilikedonuts on Jan 26, 2015 15:27:40 GMT -5
Huge difference. My kids are exactly 2 years apart (24 months and 1 day). My newly 2 year old was so much more self sufficient at 2 then she was at 18 months.
When she was 18 months old, I said multiple times if I wasn't already pregnant I would have waited. 18 months was a rough age for my oldest.
I have kids 18 and 19 months apart. I think the 24 month spacing would have been better in the fact that there is a big jump in independence in that 6 months. Specifically, at 18 months, I'm still hoisting kids into their car seats and 100% carrying up and down stairs. At 24 months, I can hold a hand and help a child into a car seat or up and down the stairs. These are a big deal when you're super pregnant or recovering from birth.
But I love the fact that their so close now that we're past that hump. I like that my kids will be two school years apart. I love that the 4 1/2 yo and almost 3 yo really are almost peers even now.
There are perks and drawbacks to every spacing choice.
I think there's no way to know really. DD will be 20 months when DC2 is born, and we'll see how it works out. The thing is, everyone's 1.5 and 2 year olds are so different. Some 1.5 year olds were late walkers and are still toddling and pretty chill, while others are running and climbing all over the place. Molars and other pesky teeth can make their appearance any time in this range, so there's no predicting when your toddler is going to be miserable due to teething. Also, some 2 year olds may be ready to potty train, but you won't be ready with a newborn around. So basically, there's no way to predict, just go for it and find out.
Well I have had an 18 month old and no way would I have wanted to add a nb to that mix so I would go for longer if I had the choice.
I would only want a newborn right now if it meant I could pass off my 19 month old to my husband for the forseeable future. He is so testing me all of the time lately.
I'll have a 25 month gap so I'll let you know how it is this summer.
Post by dancingirl21 on Jan 26, 2015 15:39:18 GMT -5
I currently have an 18 month old. I can't imagine having another right now. I mean, I'd figure it out if I had to, but he is enough to handle. He's got about 12-15 words so not nearly enough to actually communicate and most of the time just points and screeches at things. By 2 I hope he has more of a vocabulary and can politely say, "Hello dear mother, please will you help me get XYZ?" (Lol). I am hoping to have another when he is between 2.5 and 3.
I'm another who loves 15-20 months. Neither of my kids are big runners/climbers and they didn't get attitudes until 2 or just past. 2.5-3.5 was by far the worst age we've had this far. DS1 had such an attitude all the time and didn't listen to a damn word we said.
My first two are 29mo apart and it was fine at first, but DS2 got mobile when DS1's attitude and not listening were worst. Two and three will be 26mo apart.
Is there a difference between 18 and 24 months? YES!!! I can remember when DD was 18 months and I looked at DH and said, can you believe a lot of people add a newborn into the mix at this age? We were both like :?
Post by curlysue82 on Jan 26, 2015 15:59:24 GMT -5
Oh man. I'm scared now! Lol. I totally get that it is kid-specific. I can see my DD being a handful...she already strikes me as a climber.
This whole topic stems from wanting to leave myself "enough" time (whatever that means!) for a hypothetical third. I am 32 with a 9 month old, so obviously I have time! But, I guess what I'm saying is that I wonder if having the first two closer together and the third out 3 years would be easier than the last two very close together.
Oh man. I'm scared now! Lol. I totally get that it is kid-specific. I can see my DD being a handful...she already strikes me as a climber.
This whole topic stems from wanting to leave myself "enough" time (whatever that means!) for a hypothetical third. I am 32 with a 9 month old, so obviously I have time! But, I guess what I'm saying is that I wonder if having the first two closer together and the third out 3 years would be easier than the last two very close together.
I vote the first two close then waiting a bit on the third. You won't know any different and will figure it out with the first round and then the third will be easy. Lol. Hell, I'm alive! I had three in 37 months, still breathing and actually enjoying it now that my youngest isn't so little. .
Oh man. I'm scared now! Lol. I totally get that it is kid-specific. I can see my DD being a handful...she already strikes me as a climber.
This whole topic stems from wanting to leave myself "enough" time (whatever that means!) for a hypothetical third. I am 32 with a 9 month old, so obviously I have time! But, I guess what I'm saying is that I wonder if having the first two closer together and the third out 3 years would be easier than the last two very close together.
We figured when deciding to go for kid #2 (when DD was around 9-10 months old) that no matter what spacing we ended up with close to 2 years that the first 6 months would probably be rough but then it would get better. Now that I'm 19w pregnant and DD is 15 months it's looking good so far - DD has a handful of words (and signs) and still plays independently, so if we can add some more words and keep up the independent play it should be okay when kid #2 is born. She's also entering the helpful phase, so hopefully that sticks around and she'll want to "help" with her sibling and not be jealous. However, DD only has 6 teeth, so we know that we're in for some major crankiness in the next 6 months.
Post by MadamePresident on Jan 26, 2015 16:19:11 GMT -5
Mine are 21 months apart, even with a magical second child it was a hard couple of months at the beginning. A lot of it is just the adjustment from 1 to 2, which I think would be hard no matter what the spacing.
Post by carolinagirl831 on Jan 26, 2015 16:23:55 GMT -5
I would be freaking out if my kids were 18 months apart. DD was a handful then, wanting to run everywhere, couldn't communicate. ...
Mine will be 26 months apart and I feel really good about it. She can say and communicate so much to us now at 22 months. It's amazing the difference between now and where she was at 18 months.. Lots of people have kids 18 months apart, you can make it work of course! But i wouldn't choose that spacing!
I can't give any input here, as I only have 1 child. But I just wanted to say thank you to all those of you who have validated my feelings that my 17.5 month old has recently transitioned from sweet to demon-child. Here's hoping by 2 things are better .
At 18 months DD had just enough words for the pedi not to be concerned, but not enough to communicate effectively which led to a lot of tantrums. She just turned 2 this month and the language explosion between 18 months and 2 is DRASTIC. She's speaking in phrases and can effectively communicate to me most of her needs. For this reason alone I would prefer 24 months over an 18 month age gap.