Ooooooohhh. I think you are taking the fact that you got a note as a complaint. Unless it was specifically a behavioral notice (which I know kids get when they cuss or are very violent) I wonder if it was just an "fyi" sort of note? Not all notes are bad or mean you have to punish.
Please realize your child is going to have many challenges in the next several years and punishing isn't going to help. Maybe in some cases, but often times it requires a change in routine or teaching method - or expectation. It doesn't mean your child is being "bad."
I honestly don't understand why you are punishing her. And I don't know why they care so much about nap time for 4.5 year olds. And why is this maddening to you? It seems like so not a big deal.
They can send her into another room to play if she's not sleepy. I can't imagine shes the only kid who isn't sleeping.
What bothered me was the fact that her teachers redirected her and she kept talking. That's not listening and following instructions and that's a big no no from me. That being said she is my first and I don't have much experience with small children outside of her so I tend to go with her schools expectations as I expect them to know what is developmentally appropriate. And if they say napping is then that's what I go with. Obviously I need to follow up with them about what all is happening. I think what's probably happening is that she and her buddies keep chattin it up during the beginning quiet time and she's not being quiet whilst the others are falling asleep. I'm pretty sure it's like described by others. There is a set thirty minute quiet time and everyone needs to lay down and be quiet at the time. I've gotten notes over the last year about her not being sleepy and that she didn't nap and that's fine. No big. But the irksome thing is the new notes about talking. So I think my little is not following the rules about the thirty minute quiet time. And I'm with HBC that no you don't get to play with a toy at that time because then none of the littles would want to nap. I don't see what the big deal is about her getting a consequence for not listening yesterday. It's not like I beat her with a switch. She had no TV time after dinner.
All that being said I apprieciate everyone's feedback as it's very helpful.
I honestly don't understand why you are punishing her. And I don't know why they care so much about nap time for 4.5 year olds. And why is this maddening to you? It seems like so not a big deal.
They can send her into another room to play if she's not sleepy. I can't imagine shes the only kid who isn't sleeping.
What bothered me was the fact that her teachers redirected her and she kept talking. That's not listening and following instructions and that's a big no no from me. That being said she is my first and I don't have much experience with small children outside of her so I tend to go with her schools expectations as I expect them to know what is developmentally appropriate. And if they say napping is then that's what I go with. Obviously I need to follow up with them about what all is happening. I think what's probably happening is that she and her buddies keep chattin it up during the beginning quiet time and she's not being quiet whilst the others are falling asleep. I'm pretty sure it's like described by others. There is a set thirty minute quiet time and everyone needs to lay down and be quiet at the time. I've gotten notes over the last year about her not being sleepy and that she didn't nap and that's fine. No big. But the irksome thing is the new notes about talking. So I think my little is not following the rules about the thirty minute quiet time. And I'm with HBC that no you don't get to play with a toy at that time because then none of the littles would want to nap. I don't see what the big deal is about her getting a consequence for not listening yesterday. It's not like I beat her with a switch. She had no TV time after dinner.
All that being said I apprieciate everyone's feedback as it's very helpful.
Because consequences need to immediately follow the infraction for the child to connect the two. Consequences at home for an infraction at school will have no effect and her behavior will not change. It's an exercise in futility.
What bothered me was the fact that her teachers redirected her and she kept talking. That's not listening and following instructions and that's a big no no from me. That being said she is my first and I don't have much experience with small children outside of her so I tend to go with her schools expectations as I expect them to know what is developmentally appropriate. And if they say napping is then that's what I go with. Obviously I need to follow up with them about what all is happening. I think what's probably happening is that she and her buddies keep chattin it up during the beginning quiet time and she's not being quiet whilst the others are falling asleep. I'm pretty sure it's like described by others. There is a set thirty minute quiet time and everyone needs to lay down and be quiet at the time. I've gotten notes over the last year about her not being sleepy and that she didn't nap and that's fine. No big. But the irksome thing is the new notes about talking. So I think my little is not following the rules about the thirty minute quiet time. And I'm with HBC that no you don't get to play with a toy at that time because then none of the littles would want to nap. I don't see what the big deal is about her getting a consequence for not listening yesterday. It's not like I beat her with a switch. She had no TV time after dinner.
All that being said I apprieciate everyone's feedback as it's very helpful.
Because consequences need to immediately follow the infraction for the child to connect the two. Consequences at home for an infraction at school will have no effect and her behavior will not change. It's an exercise in futility.
This exactly. What would be more effective would be to ask her about what happened and talk with her about expectations at nap time. Also talk with her about your expectations that she be respectful and listen to her teachers. If you make it a positive conversation it will have more impact on her. A quick reminder in the morning at drop-off would probably help too. Just a "So what are you going to do today when you lay down on your mat for quiet rest time?" kind of thing. Just an idea from your friendly neighborhood preschool teacher
She is four and a half. Of course she remembers she was talking during naptime and she remembers that's why she's in trouble.
Puppies and toddlers need correction immediately or it loses the effect. But somewhere around 4 or so, they get to a point where they assume they can act a fool elsewhere and it will be okay because when they get home, they're free to run and play.
4.5 is preschool aged and if you think you can't discipline a preschooler at home for shit they pulled during the school day, I really don't know what to say except good luck.
My daughter goes to preschool 2 days per week, and they still have naptime. She's on the older end of kids in the class because her birthday is ~1m after the cut off date. She still naps on occasion, even at 4.5, but not always at school. She's a rule follower though, and hasn't gotten in trouble for being loud or not listening. If she was struggling though, I would ask for her to have a book or something else she could do quietly because I think their nap time is 1-1.5 hours (state law). I would maybe ask about that if this continues to be an issue.
I also think a 4.5 year old would understand the consequences, so I wouldn't worry about her not getting it. I know Scarlett would understand that she was in trouble for something she did at school.
I can understand wanting to support the teacher and punish at home if she's not following instructions. It's hard because daycares often don't feel they can punish like a parent or school would, so you miss that prime window of opportunity to correct them.
Having a chronic "bad kid," I'm that much more apt to speak up when a "good kid" falls out of line that's it's probably not them suddenly becoming a "bad kid" but more likely, in this case, a situation that is too tempting for her and she needs to be better setup for success.
I also agree that playing in the same room isn't fair and will eventually cause a class rebellion. If her naps are truly done then it's best to send her to a different room if possible.