I don't think anyone can determine what is a long enough time for someone else to grieve. Maybe the home invasion taught him life is short and his wife and kids would have wanted him to be happy?
and i read an article once about how people who have really and truly loved are so much more likely to find love again. it's a testament to his first wife.
Post by snipsnsnails on Aug 9, 2012 12:04:31 GMT -5
There are few people in this world that have had to live through and face the sheer and abject horror that this man has gone through. If he's found happiness in his life, I say more power to him.
I will only judge the bowtie. But good for him for finding someone amidst all the pain and strife of losing his first family. I hope he's well and happy.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Aug 9, 2012 12:05:09 GMT -5
I think it's wonderful that he's found happiness. 5 years can be a really fucking long time. Getting remarried doesn't mean he'll ever stop grieving or missing his wife and his children. It just means he has someone in his life who loves him and whom he loves back.
I can't judge someone who has been something so horrific. He has to do what he has to do to heal. Far be it for me to tell him how to do that. I'm glad he's found some happiness.
Perhaps I am super cynical, but I personally couldn't see myself having had another significant relationship and then being re-married within that short of a time of losing my spouse and children.
The trails didn't even end until earlier this year and he has been involved throughout the whole process.
I don't think I would have the emotional energy to be reliving the horror but also starting a new romance at the same time.
But it seems he is happy again and moving on with life so good for him.
"A reception followed at the Riverview in Simsbury. A blessing written by Dr. Petit’s former father-in-law, Rev. Richard Hawke, was in remembrance of his family."
I think if his former in-laws are there for him then it must be a really good thing. I'm also not sure if there would ever be long enough to every fully recover from something like that, so good for him for trying to move forward.
Post by ElizabethBennet on Aug 9, 2012 12:07:43 GMT -5
You can never judge someone for being in that situation, what he went through was horrific and you can never say what you would or wouldn't do in that same situation. Good for him.
"A reception followed at the Riverview in Simsbury. A blessing written by Dr. Petit’s former father-in-law, Rev. Richard Hawke, was in remembrance of his family."
I think if his former in-laws are there for him then it must be a really good thing. I'm also not sure if there would ever be long enough to every fully recover from something like that, so good for him for trying to move forward.
This is what I was going to come back to say. His former IL's were there and toasting to his happiness. That says a lot for them, for him, and for the couple. I wish them years of happiness and health.
I agree with what everyone in this post said. How scary it must have been for him to even open up and get into another relationship after what he went through. Good for him.
I am so pissed that this thread was even posted. And I'm getting all outraged.
How dare you even begin to judge him. Mind your own business.
I never judged him.
Chill out!
Yeah, you did. That was the whole point of your post and its obvious in your tone about "maybe I'm just cynical, but..." and "I could NEVER.." Well good for you! Hopefully you'll never have to experience the shit he's been through and good on him for being able to find happiness again.
Post by kellbell191 on Aug 9, 2012 12:22:29 GMT -5
I think it completely depends on the people and situation. I imagine she'd have to be ok with the fact that he'll always love his wife and kids, and that he'll have some kind of public involvement with their case for a long time. My Dad has tried to date, my Mom passed 3 years ago, and he just finds it too annoying and difficult. We'll see if his opinion changes over time. Granted, my Mom didn't die suddenly, but if he met someone he wanted to marry in the next year or two I would be ok with that and happy for him.
If that were my husband I would hope that he would be able to move on and start rebuilding his life again. I would not want the rest of his life to be spent dwelling on that awful tragedy. Sure, he will never forget his first wife and children, but that doesn't mean that he never gets to be happy again. It's been five YEARS.
A man goes through something that tragic and you can't comprehend why he would want to fall in love again? To find happiness again?
If that ever happened to me, I would hope that my DH moved on and had some form of happiness.
I want to tell you that you are alot of bad words for posting this with anything other that the title "I am so glad this man has found some happiness after the horrible losses he endured".
I don't know what ML thinks, but I think you're kind of a dick for posting this.
I hope you never have to go through anything like he did, and you never have random people judging you and then splashing your life on the Internet like it's up for discussion.