Post by everythingsshinyap on Mar 3, 2015 15:09:25 GMT -5
I'm a dirty lurker who is far too new here to deserve thoughtful responses to this question, but I'm hoping some of you will act against your better judgement and throw me a bone.
I have a potential job opportunity. It's not anywhere near a done deal, and I've already decided that I'm going along for the ride and will continue to follow the interview process as far as it takes me.
I've got a decent job now in the corporate world. I've worked for this company for about a decade. There's room for development and growth, and I've moved around a bit since I was originally hired. I like the people. I don't hate what I do. I'm reasonably challenged on a day to day basis. I am paid pretty well, have good benefits, have a 20 minute commute and enough flexibility that taking time off for doctors appointments and school stuff for my two kids is never an issue. I could stay here indefinitely. Lots of people do.
The new opportunity has very few of these "pros". It would involve a (manageable) pay cut, a long commute by public transit, and remarkably decreased flexibility and paid time off.
And yet.
It's for a nationally recognized non-profit. It's a job that would Matter, with a capital M. It has great potential to give me the exciting, interesting career that I would be so, so proud of. I WANT to be talked into this job, guys. I need someone to advocate for my soul, haha.
Lifestyle sacrifices are sometimes worth it, right? And not just for the money?
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So I had my phase 1 interview tonight, and now I'm able to fill in some of the blanks.
My interviewer (the person I'd be directly supporting) was very upfront about the salary; it would be an 8% decrease in pay from my current salary. Even considering the extra money I'd be paying either for public transit or for gas/parking, this is a cut I'm comfortable with. No one would miss out on dance lessons.
But guess what? The position has a four day work week. Based on the schedule she proposed, I'd be sacrificing two hours with my kids during the evenings twice a week, which, I'm not going to lie, is going to suck (week nights are insane as it is, ugh)...but I'd have Fridays off them. This would actually give my ex's mom a well-deserved break during the summers.
So it's still on the table for me. Benefits are the next big consideration, poor health benefits could easily take the pay cut from manageable to out of the question in no time. Phase two is next week. We'll see.
Ditto to SueSue. At this point in my life I can't sacrifice flexibility. I have also found that a job becomes well a job. I would say even in an organization where you can Matter...it will become a grind. Maybe I am just jaded. My answers might be different if my kids didn't need so much right now.
Post by snipsnsnails on Mar 3, 2015 15:21:14 GMT -5
I've wrestled with this. I've taken drastic lifestyle changes to find more meaning in my vocation. Ultimately, it didn't work for a number of reasons. I don't regret it, but I do think finding that purpose or fulfillment in your avocations is a better route when you have the other factors you mentioned.
I wouldn't. But honestly, I don't really care about whether or not my job "matters." I make black goo for a living. But uhhh, I keep sand from getting in the engines of airplanes, so I guess that's important.
For me, this would be an absolute no-go. Compensation and flexibility for my son are my top priorities right now.
However, you know what you and your family could handle. If your finances would be fine and your H is willing to potentially pick up the slack with kid obligations - go for it! It sounds like a career opportunity that you're excited about.
BUT....if you genuinely want to do something fulfilling in this way, would you consider volunteering at a non-profit? Something small to start that could transition into something more meaningful over time? Trust me, I went into Higher Ed to find something that mattered. The higher you climb the ladder, the less and less "feel" good you get out of the mission of the org (without the extras like pay, significant time off, flexibility, etc).
I don't do anything that cuts my pay, increases my hours, and makes it impossible to get to my kids when they need something.
How old are your kids, is retirement funding/college funding going ok, is dh's job secure and on the upswing?
Ugh, I know. I KNOW.
Kids are 6 and 9. I'm amicably divorced and share 50/50 custody. So, two weekdays/nights a week and every other weekend. Family helps with aftercare. Savings could always be better, but I'm in a good place.
Ex and I actually work for the same company currently, so he will retain the advantage of proximity that I'd hypothetically be giving up.
Post by everythingsshinyap on Mar 3, 2015 15:30:09 GMT -5
And lol I knew somewhere in the back of my brain that posting this would be a "can't always get what you want but can sometimes get what you need" kind of thing. Keep the thoughts coming!
I don't even have kids and I would not be interested in this at all. Maybe when I was in my 20s, single, able to scrimp more and think that living bare-bones and working crazy hours was charming and fun. I'm too tired for that shit now.
I'm wth the majority here. I have a 6 year old and a job with great flexibility. I"m bored out of my mind, but the pay is decent and the flexibility just can't be beat. I'm not willing to give up time w/ DS.
No way. Find meaningful volunteer work that you can do when your kids are with XH, but do not give up extra money, good benefits, and time with your kids.
I personally would really consider and possibly take the meaningful job. I've found that working for an organization that I believe in and/or doing something that I feel matters is really important to me. It hurts my soul to show up at work every day and just do a job to get paid and not have any personal interest or care in the outcome of what I'm doing. Assuming I could get paid enough to meet my goals (which aren't that lofty, lol) I would absolutely take a job that was meaningful over staying at a job that I felt "meh" about and that I didn't feel was making an impact.
Imho, right now you Are doing something that Matters. Being a single working mom who can put food on the table and still have the flexibility to take time for your kids is huge. They will grow older and not need so much of your time and then you can throw yourself into something like that.
I don't do anything that cuts my pay, increases my hours, and makes it impossible to get to my kids when they need something.
How old are your kids, is retirement funding/college funding going ok, is dh's job secure and on the upswing?
Ugh, I know. I KNOW.
Kids are 6 and 9. I'm amicably divorced and share 50/50 custody. So, two weekdays/nights a week and every other weekend. Family helps with aftercare. Savings could always be better, but I'm in a good place.
Ex and I actually work for the same company currently, so he will retain the advantage of proximity that I'd hypothetically be giving up.
You definitely should stay put. Your kids need you and sounds like you and exH have a great situation at present.
The pay cut wouldn't bother me, but the long commute and lack of flexibility would.
I get it. Pursuing my dreams was priority #1 in my career. I worked for a nonprofit that Mattered with a capital M. But man, that was a stressful job and I was happy to leave it. Is there any chance your dream job would let you work from home, at least part of the time?
I've spent my entire career in jobs that capital M matter. I'd leave in a heartbeat for a corporate job with more money, more flexibility, more development, and a shorter commute, unless I had a huge moral conflict with the business.
It may seem like you'd feel super proud of yourself, but really, it's just another job. You don't really get that, "I'm making a huge difference" feeling when you're sitting at your desk each day. Ultimately, it's a business like any other.
There are plenty of ways you can get involved in causes outside of work that will make you feel good about your soul, arguably much more so than working for a place will.
This is maybe something I would take when my children are grown if I thought it was going to be extremely fulfilling to me. I think you'll end up unhappy. The pay cut, lack of flexibility, and commute will drive you nuts, IMO. My H has a great career with tons of opportunities but his daily commute makes him resent his job. He would take a pay cut for a easier and closer commute but not the other way around. It's something he didn't consider when choosing his jobs, so consider how much time that commute alone will take from your day and if that bothers you.
BUT....if you genuinely want to do something fulfilling in this way, would you consider volunteering at a non-profit? Something small to start that could transition into something more meaningful over time? Trust me, I went into Higher Ed to find something that mattered. The higher you climb the ladder, the less and less "feel" good you get out of the mission of the org (without the extras like pay, significant time off, flexibility, etc).
Volunteering has definitely been a valuable outlet for me over the years. I'm a volunteer at a non-profit hospice and it fills a void.
Imho, right now you Are doing something that Matters. Being a single working mom who can put food on the table and still have the flexibility to take time for your kids is huge. They will grow older and not need so much of your time and then you can throw yourself into something like that.
Oh, for sure. Before this, I felt like I'd made my peace, mostly, with having a "job" over a "calling". I'm incredibly fortunate and don't generally beat myself up for doing what I need to to make a good life right now. This isn't so much a case of hand-wringing and feeling like I'm not doing "enough" or making "enough" of myself.