Post by thebreakfastclub on Mar 5, 2015 21:21:22 GMT -5
I feel for you, trying to sift through hundreds of often conflicting pieces of advice.
Anyway, at that age, my son didn't go to bed (meaning his crib swaddled vs elsewhere) until 10 pm. Bedtime moved to 7:30 or 8 after starting day care. He didn't nap well there and of course it is lots of stimulation to tire them out.
he's so young that he could just not be ready for bedtime so early. at this age everything changes so fast though.
i know it's so hard when you're thinking "omfg is my night ever going to be different from this?! will i ever sit on my couch alone again with my child sleeping in his own room before 10pm?"
the answer is yes. he will sleep in his room. lower your expectations and keep trying, as hard as it may be.
Post by teatimefor2 on Mar 5, 2015 21:40:59 GMT -5
You're doing a great job. With both my boys, between 12 and 16 weeks their bedtimes shifted earlier to 7/8ish.
Just keep trying, rinse and repeat. Even now, 50% of the time DS2 (19 weeks) wakes up after one 45 minute sleep cycle and needs to be soothed back to sleep. But he'll get their and your baby will too.
Post by ilikedonuts on Mar 5, 2015 22:12:03 GMT -5
We put our kids down for the night until like 10 or 11pm up unti they were like 4 months old. They just napped on and off until around then and then we did actual bedtime routine.
Since he's been in the RNP, can you elevate the crib mattress a bit? I stuffed a small package of diapers under DS's when we transitioned him. As the parent of a mediocre at best sleeper, huge hugs - it WILL get better, I promise. I wish I could tell you when. I remember hoping and praying for three goddamn hours in a row at that age; it sucked so bad.
Post by countthestars on Mar 5, 2015 23:06:44 GMT -5
Big hugs. At that age, my H was so set on having a "routine" that bedtime consistently took 3-4 hours of walking, shushing, bouncing her juuuuust right and setting her down soon after she fell asleep. but not too soon. but not too long. and no one breath.
To be honest, I wish we had just lowered our expectations and gone with the flow.
It's so hard and I totally relate to wanting to do it right. The thing is, the fact that you care this much means you aren't screwing him up. Hell we still don't know what we're doing 90% of the time and we're over a year and a half into it. It will get better and eventually, he will sleep longer stretches for you!
No real advice, just hugs. I remember posting a ton about my DD's sleep when she was this age and it was truly awful. Lowering expectations and co-sleeping helped us get some relief for a while but really I think time just helped her figure her shit out, sleep-wise, at least until we sleep trained at 8 months. The Baby Sleep Science blog has always been a great resource for me: childsleepscience.wordpress.com/category/sleep-birth-to-4-months/
I make horrible sleepers and I mean horrible. So to me, this is expecting a lot or making it harder on yourself than it needs to be. At 11 weeks I was still doing whatever it took to get the most sleep possible- I wasn't at all concerned with schedules, routines, sleep location, etc. I just did what was needed to survive.
But trust that no matter what, you are doing it right! It doesn't matter what I did or what others did-- those things worked for us but they may not work for you.
It's obvious you love him and care about him so that means you're doing it right! Hugs! He, and you, will sleep eventually!!!
Post by dulcemariamar on Mar 6, 2015 1:41:54 GMT -5
Hugs... Babies are so freaking hard and unpredictable.
I am not sure how old your DS is but my LO had a late bedtime a good 6 months plus. The first 4-5 months my DD would have a quick nap around 7 and then we would try to feed her as much as she could and then start the bedtime routine around 10:00.
I think at this point it is better to look at strategies to to deal with the insanity if you have a NB than for looking for ways to get him sleep better. For the most part it is time. I am not saying that you shouldn't try different things because like I said before babies are unpredictable and can surprise you. It is just better not to get your hopes up high.
When my DD was little I posted a million posts about her sleep so I understand this mindfuck. It will get better. You will get your nights back. You are doing a great job.
No real advice, just hugs. I remember posting a ton about my DD's sleep when she was this age and it was truly awful. Lowering expectations and co-sleeping helped us get some relief for a while but really I think time just helped her figure her shit out, sleep-wise, at least until we sleep trained at 8 months. The Baby Sleep Science blog has always been a great resource for me: childsleepscience.wordpress.com/category/sleep-birth-to-4-months/
This was really helpful to read tonight especially the link within there about the 4 month wakeful. Thank you
H let me sleep a bit because I got weird and sobby from sleep deprivation after last night's suckage. C was down 8:30 to almost 11:30 and then ate again just now. He has wanted to eat both times, but the stretches are a little longer and he is in his room. Progress?
I know I have a really good sleeper, but we made a night time "routine" pretty early on that really seems to help him. Warm bath started between 7:30-8 we put a small heater in the bathroom so it's nice and toasty and put his PJ s on in there, halo microfleece swaddle blanket, white noise lite app set to waves, 5-10 minutes of rocking with a story and then lay down in crib.
After a week this worked nightly. And now as long as we either swaddle OR have waves and a fleece sleep sack he will sleep.
I made fun of the mom that told me to start a routine so young. But it has really worked for us.
That said some nights we skip stuff. Some nights we start earlier if he's cranky. Some nights much later if he's already sleeping for a while.
Oh and our pedi suggested a black and white image on the side of the crib that baby could see nightly and associate that instead of our faces with sleep. We have a line drawn bicycle. :-)
Good luck! We tried a lot of things to find what worked for us. These ate just some general ideas that I hope may work!!
H let me sleep a bit because I got weird and sobby from sleep deprivation after last night's suckage. C was down 8:30 to almost 11:30 and then ate again just now. He has wanted to eat both times, but the stretches are a little longer and he is in his room. Progress?
Just wanted to jump in and say you're doing a great job with this. There was no way to mentally prepare for the sleep deprivation.
Just keep trying. L turned a very abrupt corner at about 2.5 months. She went from sleeping no longer than two hours from the start of one feeding to the next (and it took her about 45 minutes to eat, sigh) to all of a sudden one night sleeping for a good four hour stretch and then sometimes even longer! We didn't change anything, she just figured it out, I guess.
I'm very late, but just wanted to offer hugs and support. Tiny babies are SO HARD! Try not to worry about doing things "right", as long as you're meeting his basic needs and giving him lots of love, you're doing just fine. RNP in his room IS progress, we did the same with my DD. I don't think people are telling you that you HAVE to make the crib transition, or the transition to his own room now, more so just trying to give you strategies that *might* help.
I don't have much specific advice, the ladies here have said everything I would say anyway. I just want to say that it does get better. I didn't have the worst sleeper, but she certainly wasn't a great sleeper when she was tiny, either. I can so relate to the desperation for sleep, the anxiety over what the night would bring, and the fear that we had ruined our lives and we'd never truly be happy again (and the accompanying guilt for even thinking that when I loved her so much).
She's 19 months old now, and has STTN from 7pm-6am (at least) 90% of the time since she was 8.5 months old (and only had 1 wake up from 5-8 months), and I'd say at least 3 nights a week after I put her down for bed, I still think back to the first 4.5 months of her life and am so thankful that we survived and that tonight won't be like that. What you're feeling is normal, it is temporary, and it WILL get better. Hugs!