My Lena turned 13! Crazy. Her mom posted this on Facebook and it totally choked me up.
Lena turns 13 tomorrow, and so I’ve been sentimental lately. Seems like a million years ago, but in fact we began pursuing adoption in 2001. We decided to pursue an “open” adoption here in the U.S. We liked the idea of connecting with a young woman considering adoption, of having her choose us, and of choosing her in return. We also hoped for ongoing contact, which we learned could range from letters and pictures to in-person visits.
We met Rikki over a wonderful four-hour dinner on Jan 29, 2002 and two days later she told us she wanted to move forward with an adoption plan. We were thrilled. We began daily phone calls and frequent visits. I accompanied Rikki to doctor visits. We quickly developed a warm, loving relationship. We knew she did not make her decision to place her baby for adoption lightly, or without tears. She told us our commitment to open adoption made all the difference in the world.
When we began our adoption process, we hoped to meet someone just like Rikki. She was a college student, smart and athletic (she had run three marathons!) and very sweet. We admired her generous heart, kindness and incredible spirit. As we said to Rikki the first time we met, she’ll always have a place of honor in our lives, and a special place in Lena’s life.
About four in the afternoon on March 6, 2002, my phone rang. “Rikki’s in labor. We’re heading to the hospital soon. Please come.”
The baby was born the next morning. And our incredible journey of parenthood – and of open adoption – began. To say that we’ve had ongoing contact is a huge understatement. We’ve celebrated birthdays and many life events with Rikki, traveled together, volunteered together. She was the first one to meet Mara when we brought her home in 2007, and we asked her to be Mara’s godmother. Rikki and my mom have a very special relationship. Rikki asked Lena to be her flower girl and me to be her matron of honor when she got married in 2009. What an incredible honor it was. Rikki remarried and she and her husband John have an adorable toddler, Elijah, and are expecting a second son in May. (That's Elijah with the girls in this picture.) They all moved back to Chicago from Boston, for which we are thrilled!
While we weren’t the first pioneers of open adoption, it wasn’t as common back in 2002. Thankfully, we’ve been comfortable with openness from the beginning. Lena and Mara have a “bonus” brother in Elijah, and they can’t wait to meet the new little guy coming in just a few months. We have lots of people – Rikki’s whole family and now John’s family, too – to share and give love as a result of how we formed our family.
Thank you, Rikki, for choosing us so many years ago. We are blessed.
It's so wonderful that you are all so important in each others lives. You gave them all an amazing gift, and it's so wonderful to hear how much they understand and appreciate that!