I'll be honest, I have always been a huge supporter of public schools but am getting very concerned lately. We're in a "good" school district (based on state rankings and the like), but all the materials that come home are from Pearson. The principal and superintendent are very rah rah about standardized test scores, but I'm seeing little creative work coming home. Both girls are doing well by measurable metrics, but aren't seeming as challenged as I would like (and Julia is not nearly as challenged this year as she was last year in our old district). It seems like as long as you're meeting the benchmark to perform well on the standardized test in this district you end up lost in the group and I'm not pleased.
That said, I am not qualified to teach any child, my own or someone else's. And even if I were, there are important social lessons learned in attending school from working with a teacher or classmate who isn't your favorite to navigating friendship issues at recess without significant adult interference.
I would love to think I could afford a really cool non-religious (or Quaker) private school, but since that will never be in the cards for us, I have to trust public education and hope that the curriculum improves from what I'm seeing right now (and if we didn't know we were moving this year we would absolutely be working with this system to improve it).
Speaking of, how is the hunt going? Anything promising? I've been keeping my eyes peeled for your H.
He was invited to do another year visiting at his current place and so far that's the only bite. He's pushing off answering as long as he can because he really wants to move into industry, but if he gets nothing we're really thankful we have a back up plan! He's been talking to various friends and colleagues everywhere and a few people have some great leads for him, so we're hoping at least one pans out!
Whatever happens, our heat bill has been out of control this year (our LL flat out lied about how much oil this house takes) and we aren't meshing in our current town or school, so we'll be moving to another town even if he stays here.
Thanks for thinking of us and I'll definitely keep you posted!
Last week DD kept getting on and off the scale, and said "ugh, still the same!". I died inside, thinking "no no no no no, it is way too early for this!!!!" (She is five). I was immediately thinking about what I say about my own weight, and am I too obsessed about going to the gym? I composed myself and casually asked her what number she was hoping for? She looked at me and said "160. I want to be 160."
Lala, is that a thing in your district? Because it is like THE topic right now in others. Supposedly, LM is even encouraging it.
Yes, it's definitely something that's being discussed amongst parents on FB. There are some pushing for the district to take a stance like LM, too.
Our issue (you know what district I am?) is w/ the lack of a current super, only an interim. Hard to get ahead when we've pretty much lost a year w/ turmoil and negative press.
No testing in kinder - I think it starts in 3rd? - so I haven't worried too much, yet.
Lala, is that a thing in your district? Because it is like THE topic right now in others. Supposedly, LM is even encouraging it.
Yes, it's definitely something that's being discussed amongst parents on FB. There are some pushing for the district to take a stance like LM, too.
Our issue (you know what district I am?) is w/ the lack of a current super, only an interim. Hard to get ahead when we've pretty much lost a year w/ turmoil and negative press.
No testing in kinder - I think it starts in 3rd? - so I haven't worried too much, yet.
I figured it out when you talked about the new middle school
Agreed. Most kids are more influenced by their parents/family. Kids hear everything you say, see everything you do. When mom or dad complains about their own body, size, looks etc. We are more influential than Barbie or Cinderella. So next time you want to censor a toy make sure you're censor yourself too. (Unless you're lookingvin the mirror doing daily affirmations):-P My kids are mirror images of me and my H, we did that.
I don't disagree with this point. But why buy Barbie or whatever? Like, if it promotes something I find harmful why buy it at all and support it financially? Especially if we haven't reached a point where it's specifically requested.
I guess I am confused what Barbie promotes? Playing with plastic dolls and screaming fits to find 1 inch shoes. I just don't agree that these toys "promote" anything I think it's all in your head.
My point with the SN comment was that I seriously don't know how people with kids with special needs think they can provide the same resources as a school.
Eh I can kind of see where some parents are coming from. We are lucky that we are in a good district and I get phenomenal services even for a high functioning preschool age kids. I know others who live in lousier districts whose kids are bullied all day, the school does shit and they're stuck because they can't move. If that were my reality I would take my chances and homeschool too and just bring my kid in for therapies.
I don't disagree with this point. But why buy Barbie or whatever? Like, if it promotes something I find harmful why buy it at all and support it financially? Especially if we haven't reached a point where it's specifically requested.
I guess I am confused what Barbie promotes? Playing with plastic dolls and screaming fits to find 1 inch shoes. I just don't agree that these toys "promote" anything I think it's all in your head.
Unrealistic body image? But like I said I agree that the people in you life are far more influential. I just don't like that Barbie et al promote this unrealistic and harmful standard of beauty. Isn't the whole point of them to play make believe you're a beautiful grown up lady who wears fancy clothes and shoes and is "beautiful"?
I guess I am confused what Barbie promotes? Playing with plastic dolls and screaming fits to find 1 inch shoes. I just don't agree that these toys "promote" anything I think it's all in your head.
Unrealistic body image? But like I said I agree that the people in you life are far more influential. I just don't like that Barbie et al promote this unrealistic and harmful standard of beauty. Isn't the whole point of them to play make believe you're a beautiful grown up lady who wears fancy clothes and shoes and is "beautiful"?
IDK DD had a astronaut one, vet center etc. she actually pretend played they were those things instead of just beautiful. You kind of proved my point adults in general way overthink toys and their impact on kids.
My point with the SN comment was that I seriously don't know how people with kids with special needs think they can provide the same resources as a school.
Eh I can kind of see where some parents are coming from. We are lucky that we are in a good district and I get phenomenal services even for a high functioning preschool age kids. I know others who live in lousier districts whose kids are bullied all day, the school does shit and they're stuck because they can't move. If that were my reality I would take my chances and homeschool too and just bring my kid in for therapies.
Yes but many people don't have the money to do that. One child in DDs class receives over 10 hours of therapy a week in addition to therapy used in the classroom. My insurance covers 52 hours of therapy a year. After that we are OOP. Kids on the spectrum lose insurance therapy coverage after 10 in TX (learned that lovely new fact this week). Look I know all schools aren't great but then fight for your rights. HS a kid with ASD seems like a disaster.
My opinion on this was the UO at the bus stop this morning.
Kids fighting over the biggest croissant or whatever at breakfast. Mom goes to get ready. Dad plays "you can't always get what you want." 8 year old gets crankier and Mom is pissed that Dad would put the song on.
ETA: I laughed and said I sing that song to my kids all the time. Cue horrified looks.
My opinion on this was the UO at the bus stop this morning.
Kids fighting over the biggest croissant or whatever at breakfast. Mom goes to get ready. Dad plays "you can't always get what you want." 8 year old gets crankier and Mom is pissed that Dad would put the song on.
Unrealistic body image? But like I said I agree that the people in you life are far more influential. I just don't like that Barbie et al promote this unrealistic and harmful standard of beauty. Isn't the whole point of them to play make believe you're a beautiful grown up lady who wears fancy clothes and shoes and is "beautiful"?
IDK DD had a astronaut one, vet center etc. she actually pretend played they were those things instead of just beautiful. You kind of proved my point adults in general way overthink toys and their impact on kids.
Why can't the vet have a normal body? All I'm saying is that this is just one other place (among many) where our girls are presented with unrealistic standards of beauty. So I chose to avoid it for as long as I can. This is not my hill and I played with barbies as a kid so we'll have to agree to disagree. When DD specifically asks for a Barbie I'll consider. Until then don't want them in my house.
Eh I can kind of see where some parents are coming from. We are lucky that we are in a good district and I get phenomenal services even for a high functioning preschool age kids. I know others who live in lousier districts whose kids are bullied all day, the school does shit and they're stuck because they can't move. If that were my reality I would take my chances and homeschool too and just bring my kid in for therapies.
Yes but many people don't have the money to do that. One child in DDs class receives over 10 hours of therapy a week in addition to therapy used in the classroom. My insurance covers 52 hours of therapy a year. After that we are OOP. Kids on the spectrum lose insurance therapy coverage after 10 in TX (learned that lovely new fact this week). Look I know all schools aren't great but then fight for your rights. HS a kid with ASD seems like a disaster.
These people have brought their concerns to the superintendent level. Nothing changed. What do you do then? I don't think it's the best scenario but either is a kid mercilessly bullied who is getting squat for services.
IDK DD had a astronaut one, vet center etc. she actually pretend played they were those things instead of just beautiful. You kind of proved my point adults in general way overthink toys and their impact on kids.
Why can't the vet have a normal body? All I'm saying is that this is just one other place (among many) where our girls are presented with unrealistic standards of beauty. So I chose to avoid it for as long as I can. This is not my hill and I played with barbies as a kid so we'll have to agree to disagree. When DD specifically asks for a Barbie I'll consider. Until then don't want them in my house.
My opinion on this was the UO at the bus stop this morning.
Kids fighting over the biggest croissant or whatever at breakfast. Mom goes to get ready. Dad plays "you can't always get what you want." 8 year old gets crankier and Mom is pissed that Dad would put the song on.
Dad sounds like my kind of guy.
Also, I would have taken the croissant with me.
Agree - forgot to add my take, which was that I sing that song to my kids all the time. Instilling a love of classic rock AND life lessons.
Why can't the vet have a normal body? All I'm saying is that this is just one other place (among many) where our girls are presented with unrealistic standards of beauty. So I chose to avoid it for as long as I can. This is not my hill and I played with barbies as a kid so we'll have to agree to disagree. When DD specifically asks for a Barbie I'll consider. Until then don't want them in my house.
Yes but many people don't have the money to do that. One child in DDs class receives over 10 hours of therapy a week in addition to therapy used in the classroom. My insurance covers 52 hours of therapy a year. After that we are OOP. Kids on the spectrum lose insurance therapy coverage after 10 in TX (learned that lovely new fact this week). Look I know all schools aren't great but then fight for your rights. HS a kid with ASD seems like a disaster.
These people have brought their concerns to the superintendent level. Nothing changed. What do you do then? I don't think it's the best scenario but either is a kid mercilessly bullied who is getting squat for services.
Then go above there are laws in place for a reason. Kids that have IEPs are the most protected of the bunch. Honestly it's not them I worry about.
IDK DD had a astronaut one, vet center etc. she actually pretend played they were those things instead of just beautiful. You kind of proved my point adults in general way overthink toys and their impact on kids.
Why can't the vet have a normal body? All I'm saying is that this is just one other place (among many) where our girls are presented with unrealistic standards of beauty. So I chose to avoid it for as long as I can. This is not my hill and I played with barbies as a kid so we'll have to agree to disagree. When DD specifically asks for a Barbie I'll consider. Until then don't want them in my house.
Ita. I don't see the benefit of buying my four year old girl barbies and my five year old video games when they're content with far superior toys. When they have an interest we will talk about it but until then why bother?? I don't get it. It certainly isn't going to be the difference in a kid getting an eating disorder but the longer I can keep my kid from those influences the better.
IDK DD had a astronaut one, vet center etc. she actually pretend played they were those things instead of just beautiful. You kind of proved my point adults in general way overthink toys and their impact on kids.
Why can't the vet have a normal body? All I'm saying is that this is just one other place (among many) where our girls are presented with unrealistic standards of beauty. So I chose to avoid it for as long as I can. This is not my hill and I played with barbies as a kid so we'll have to agree to disagree. When DD specifically asks for a Barbie I'll consider. Until then don't want them in my house.
Like I said before you are projecting you own insecurities on a piece of plastic. I don't buy for one second that kids are getting their horrible body images from a small plastic doll at 4.
Why can't the vet have a normal body? All I'm saying is that this is just one other place (among many) where our girls are presented with unrealistic standards of beauty. So I chose to avoid it for as long as I can. This is not my hill and I played with barbies as a kid so we'll have to agree to disagree. When DD specifically asks for a Barbie I'll consider. Until then don't want them in my house.
Ita. I don't see the benefit of buying my four year old girl barbies and my five year old video games when they're content with far superior toys. When they have an interest we will talk about it but until then why bother?? I don't get it. It certainly isn't going to be the difference in a kid getting an eating disorder but the longer I can keep my kid from those influences the better.
But in this case her daughter did ask for a princess doll but she didn't want to buy a particular one because ZOMG Barbie. Let's be real if you are against Barbies and claim they cause body image issues princess should be the same. I don't buy toys my kids don't ask for. Who would? But to be against a toy and not buy it for body image issues is silly. If you are going that route then at least be consistent.
Why can't the vet have a normal body? All I'm saying is that this is just one other place (among many) where our girls are presented with unrealistic standards of beauty. So I chose to avoid it for as long as I can. This is not my hill and I played with barbies as a kid so we'll have to agree to disagree. When DD specifically asks for a Barbie I'll consider. Until then don't want them in my house.
Ita. I don't see the benefit of buying my four year old girl barbies and my five year old video games when they're content with far superior toys. When they have an interest we will talk about it but until then why bother?? I don't get it. It certainly isn't going to be the difference in a kid getting an eating disorder but the longer I can keep my kid from those influences the better.
Substitute "junk food" for "barbie" and people would be all.the.fuck.over.it about moderation and being too uptight and their cousin's neice's babysitter's godchild who became obese secretly gorging on oreos because all they ever got as kids was celery.
Ok so I'm too uptight for not wanting to pay for it myself and also to inconsistent did allowing her go keep it as a gift? And I agree princesses are the same actually. But she asked for a princess so I don't want to create an issue by not allowing it. One step at a time. She's only 4. Why does she need a Barbie?
Ok so I'm too uptight for not wanting to pay for it myself and also to inconsistent did allowing her go keep it as a gift? And I agree princesses are the same actually. But she asked for a princess so I don't want to create an issue by not allowing it. One step at a time. She's only 4. Why does she need a Barbie?
Oh I don't think any kid needs a Barbie they are stupid. I just think you are placing adult issues on kids toys and that's silly to me. Barbies are stupid and I get not buying one if your kid never asks, but you were pretty adamant about finding a princess toy that wasn't a Barbie I just don't get it. I mean why does it matter? It's not like disney princess have real bodies.
I've already addressed it. Minimize the influence until it's unavoidable. I'm not going to be all "you can never watch princess movies or play with barbies or whatever" but I'm not going to proactively encourage it if I have a choice. In this case I do as alternatives exist that will make her just as happy.
Girls do play with boys. So the gun play still happens. If they are happily playing, not "shooting" each other just for the heck of it but actually have an imaginary game going, whatever. The imaginary play piece is more important I think.
FWIW, I would have said the same thing a few years ago, Roses. I'm not saying you'll change your mind, but I did. Not b/c I suddenly love guns, but the more I watch play and read, the less I worry. There are far bigger things I'm worried about in regards to children playing that pretending to shoot a bad guy.
Two of DS's best friends are OAD girls. I'm sure at some point they'll be playing guns together. Hell, I'm one of 3 girls and we played cops and robbers using nerf guns when we were little.
I guess I am confused what Barbie promotes? Playing with plastic dolls and screaming fits to find 1 inch shoes. I just don't agree that these toys "promote" anything I think it's all in your head.
Unrealistic body image? But like I said I agree that the people in you life are far more influential. I just don't like that Barbie et al promote this unrealistic and harmful standard of beauty. Isn't the whole point of them to play make believe you're a beautiful grown up lady who wears fancy clothes and shoes and is "beautiful"?
It is what you make of it. My sisters and I pretended our dolls were teachers, detectives, cowgirls, marine biologists... did we pretend they were princesses? Sure, but that wasn't the end-all to our doll play.
Unrealistic body image? But like I said I agree that the people in you life are far more influential. I just don't like that Barbie et al promote this unrealistic and harmful standard of beauty. Isn't the whole point of them to play make believe you're a beautiful grown up lady who wears fancy clothes and shoes and is "beautiful"?
It is what you make of it. My sisters and I pretended our dolls were teachers, detectives, cowgirls, marine biologists... did we pretend they were princesses? Sure, but that wasn't the end-all to our doll play.
Yep DD also used them for those things. In fact her goal to be a vet came from a Barbie vet book.