Their twitter page is silent as of right now. I won't venture to Facebook because I can't deal with the religious right defending them in the comments.
Their twitter page is silent as of right now. I won't venture to Facebook because I can't deal with the religious right defending them in the comments.
I asked over here because I didn't think I could handle the apologists on their facebook page either!
1. A three year statute of limitations is some bullshit. 2. I can't help but think this is even worse (if that's possible) for these particular girls because their ENTIRE self worth is tied up in their "purity" until they are married so I feel like this would incredible scars.
I hope all those women just peace out one day and say, "Nope. Not having it. Not having this second class citizen, less than a man, punished for Eve's sins crap any more."
I didn't even think about this until you said it. This breaks my soul.
I'm glad the public knows so they stop supporting the Duggars but I am sure having this information out there is re-victimizing the girls again. Ugh how horrifying. And that chart... Is unbelievably disgusting.
This will not change a THING, except for the fact that they'll hopefully lose their show. People who have already figured out that the Duggars are creepy, bigoted assholes have just had their views confirmed (and strengthened) and people who swore that they were good, Godly people are going to dig in their heels and cry persecution.
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
Post by venice2007 on May 21, 2015 15:17:01 GMT -5
Those poor girls. Wonder if this is why Jana is so quiet and withdrawn. Maybe she and they other girls will finally be able to live on their own. Ugh he's such a disgusting person. All of them
Post by W.T.Faulkner on May 21, 2015 15:17:33 GMT -5
I can't wait until that motherfucker loses his job with whatever wing-nut hate group that employed him. My heart breaks for the girls, though. They didn't stand a chance for a happy life or any kind of autonomy when they were born into this family.
Post by lissaholly on May 21, 2015 15:19:42 GMT -5
There is something just so fucking tragic about people who live their whole lives focused on the afterlife. Forgive your brother molester so you can get to heaven. Ignore your sexual desires ( so they turn perverted and you think that the mere thoughts are already jeopardizing you anyways so in for a penny, in for a pound- why not touch your own sister?) so you can get to heaven. Endure whatever comes your way in life and move past it so you can get to heaven.
Christians need to have some empathy for the living, because Jesus is up there shaking his head saying, " I bore that cross so you didn't have to! Stop insisting everyone to bear their own cross!"
Yeah, I am projecting here. A lot. I am just so mad for those poor girls.
I doubt the FRC will fire Josh. Too many people in the far right evangelical community have these kinds of stories. Bill Gothard, who is basically the head of the Duggar's cult church, has also been accused of sexual misconduct with minor girls, but as an adult.
Post by lucilleball on May 21, 2015 15:33:02 GMT -5
You know, I've been typing and deleting because I don't know how to react.
I feel so many feelings for those girls and what they've gone through and what they'll continue to go through because of all of this.
This same situation happened to me, minus the 16 kids, and the fundie beliefs. I'm cringing at the fact that some of you think it would be impossible to forgive an abuser. I know I'm completely projecting my situation but I'm curious to hear your opinions on this:
- Take away the Duggar stigma
- Take away their fundie beliefs
What are you opinions of forgiving an abuser?
Having a some-what health relationship with an abuser?
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
Post by amberlyrose on May 21, 2015 15:35:27 GMT -5
I'm hoping their twitter/fb is quiet because CPS is at their house right now. Those 2 assholes should not be parents anymore. Fuck you, JB and Michelle. You failed your daughters.
I think forgiving an abuser is a choice only the victim can make. I don't for a minute believe these girls were able to make this choice for themselves without immense pressure from people they love and trust.
Post by DotAndBuzz on May 21, 2015 15:37:47 GMT -5
I don't think it's impossible to forgive an abuser (having not been there myself, and definitely NOT saying what someone should or shouldn't do). I think what's additionally disgusting about the whole situation is that the girls were basically guilted/shamed/forced into the forgiveness because that's what this CULTure demanded of them.
They presumably didn't arrive at forgiveness through counseling, and personal strength. They were told they had to forgive their brother because he's sorry, and that's what they, as fundamentalist Christians, HAVE to do to get into heaven. It's a load of bullshit.
ETA - and it's even more mind blowing that the people they looked to to FIX the problem, whom they trusted to protect them, who have for their entire lives conditioned them to consider as the people ultimately responsible for their well being until they're married off - they basically told the girls to get over it, and not make it an issue. Because Jesus.
Post by hopecounts on May 21, 2015 15:38:53 GMT -5
Forgiving as in 'you aren't worth my emotional energy/time/etc and I'm moving on to better things?' With the help of intensive therapy? Possible I don't think it's really possible to have a truly healthy relationship with someone who abused you even with a butt load of therapy. You might be able to have a surface relationship but a truly semi-healthy one? Doubtful IMO.
You know, I've been typing and deleting because I don't know how to react.
I feel so many feelings for those girls and what they've gone through and what they'll continue to go through because of all of this.
This same situation happened to me, minus the 16 kids, and the fundie beliefs. I'm cringing at the fact that some of you think it would be impossible to forgive an abuser. I know I'm completely projecting my situation but I'm curious to hear your opinions on this:
- Take away the Duggar stigma
- Take away their fundie beliefs
What are you opinions of forgiving an abuser?
Having a some-what health relationship with an abuser?
First of all, I am sorry for what you've been through.
I can't speak explicitly for anyone else, but I believe the shock and outrage is over the fact that the victims in these situations are often made to feel as though they are SUPPOSED to forgive their abuser, and to feel as if they share part of the blame for their abuse.
The actual implications of forgiving and having a relationship with an abuser are far too complex and situationally based to give a blanket statement on.
Last Edit: May 21, 2015 15:39:58 GMT -5 by Ohhmm(bligo)
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
This just sickens me and saddens me to the point I had to close my door to hide the fact that I'm upset (to the point of tears) over something that happened to young women whom I don't even know.
I never imagined that I'd have something in common with the Duggars but I do with these poor girls although I cannot imagine how I would feel had my perpetrators been my own brother.
ETA - To the question asked upthread about forgiveness. If by forgiveness you mean, letting go of the hope that the past would have been different, then yes, you could say I have forgiven my abusers. But I will never forget what they did nor the fact that I will never know who I could have been had this not happened.
You know, I've been typing and deleting because I don't know how to react.
I feel so many feelings for those girls and what they've gone through and what they'll continue to go through because of all of this.
This same situation happened to me, minus the 16 kids, and the fundie beliefs. I'm cringing at the fact that some of you think it would be impossible to forgive an abuser. I know I'm completely projecting my situation but I'm curious to hear your opinions on this:
- Take away the Duggar stigma
- Take away their fundie beliefs
What are you opinions of forgiving an abuser?
Having a some-what health relationship with an abuser?
This situation is so complex. Not only were these girls abused, but their entire family and many acquaintances were aware of it and no one protected them. They were made to feel forced to "forgive" him and go on living with him like nothing happened. The people who should have been protecting them were covering it up and focusing on HIS well being, rather than THEIRS. Then they went on to actively pursue fame and making themselves the poster family for Christian values.
No, I don't think I could forgive all that. I guess I'm not cut out to be a fundie.
I don't think it's impossible to forgive an abuser (having not been there myself, and definitely NOT saying what someone should or shouldn't do). I think what's additionally disgusting about the whole situation is that the girls were basically guilted/shamed/forced into the forgiveness because that's what this CULTure demanded of them.
They presumably didn't arrive at forgiveness through counseling, and personal strength. They were told they had to forgive their brother because he's sorry, and that's what they, as fundamentalist Christians, HAVE to do to get into heaven. It's a load of bullshit.
Post by open24hours on May 21, 2015 15:48:43 GMT -5
This whole thing is disgusting. I think parts of the Duggar's beliefs are that women are temptresses and it is a woman's job to make sure she does not stir up desires in men. Women are responsible for dressing modestly because men cannot control their own hormones/desires/actions. Following this idea, the girls were probably deemed responsible for the abuse and blamed for it. Thus, they probably 'forgave' Josh because they were deemed culpable for his actions. It's gross.
I don't think it's impossible to forgive an abuser (having not been there myself, and definitely NOT saying what someone should or shouldn't do). I think what's additionally disgusting about the whole situation is that the girls were basically guilted/shamed/forced into the forgiveness because that's what this CULTure demanded of them.
They presumably didn't arrive at forgiveness through counseling, and personal strength. They were told they had to forgive their brother because he's sorry, and that's what they, as fundamentalist Christians, HAVE to do to get into heaven. It's a load of bullshit.
I can agree with that.
My forgiveness was demanded at first and I still hold resentment from that. I was eventually able to come to a place where I could forgive after I received extensive therapy and they received extensive therapy and went to a group home.
We're older now and I would consider our relationship normal (if there ever is a normal after that).
My point for posting was that family dynamics are hard to navigate. I know it's easy to judge the duggars, in particular, because we know more about them than the average person that this happens to. I hope the girls are able to come to a place where they feel no pressure or guilt for their feelings, even if they do end up having a relationship with him later on.
I'm cringing at the fact that some of you think it would be impossible to forgive an abuser.
I'm sorry for what you went through, but it's definitely not cringe worthy to be unable to forgive an abuser. I think it would be extremely difficult (if not impossible) for most people to have a healthy relationship with someone who sexually abused them.