Derrick wasn't raised fundie, so I doubt he'd want anything to do with a brother-in-law who molested his wife.
No, but he may have seen that he could give her a better life? I wouldn't want a rapist BIL, but if I loved someone I would provide them the best love and support that I could.
I don't think I'm trying to make it ok at all. Apparently expressing discomfort with the release of these documents to the public = defending a child molester. H'ok.
And I'm impressed you held your "trump" in for so long. You must feel much better now.
I'm thoroughly grossed out by the whole thing, including the Duggar family. I'm also uncomfortable with how much of a spectacle this is, but they brought it upon themselves to a degree. So, I dunno.
My 'trump'? I wasn't holding that in; it's not exactly a secret here Stellas. I've 'known' you long enough to know that you have an incredibly insurmountable perspective problem; you don't see how you are representing yourself and being interpreted by others. So, no, interacting with you rarely ever makes me feel good.
I wonder how much Derrick and Ben knew about this. Derrick wasn't raised fundie, so I doubt he'd want anything to do with a brother-in-law who molested his wife.
Someone earlier mentioned that due to fucked up family dynamics she still has to see her abuser at family gatherings. I'd imagine it's the same thing here, fucked up family definitely describes them well.
I'd think in this case the one Derrick's married to can't cut ties with her brother or the family so off camera he's been told to keep away, don't talk to them, touch her and their kids ever and he'll regret it. Maybe that's how the letter was "found"?
No, but he may have seen that he could give her a better life? I wouldn't want a rapist BIL, but if I loved someone I would provide them the best love and support that I could.
I mean more like he would want Josh completely cut off from his and Jill's life. Like, in his position, I would not want to spend Christmases with the family if Josh was going to be around and I wouldn't have wanted him at my wedding, etc.
I think you're giving Derrick too much credit here. He wasn't raised fundie, but he's not exactly standing against anything they do or believe in.
It does. It's kind of like when people who don't support women having dominion over their own uteruses think it's perfectly acceptable to offer to adopt a baby from someone who doesn't intend to have that baby. It's about having zero awareness and perspective. Stella's you're all up in this thread trying to make it all ok somehow for this family who's wholesomeness you so enjoy. It's gross and you're hurting and offending people. Stop.
I don't think I'm trying to make it ok at all. Apparently expressing discomfort with the release of these documents to the public = defending a child molester. H'ok.
And I'm impressed you held your "trump" in for so long. You must feel much better now.
I'm thoroughly grossed out by the whole thing, including the Duggar family. I'm also uncomfortable with how much of a spectacle this is, but they brought it upon themselves to a degree. So, I dunno.
To a degree? Which degree would that be, exactly? To the nth degree? Or whatever the maximum degree possibly could be for them to have brought this spectacle upon themselves? Or are you really saying that they kind of, sort of, maybe, to a small degree, brought the spectacle on themselves? You know, by virtue of being greedy, disgusting pigs of human beings who tried to cover up something this horrific so they could be on TV and become rich and use those riches to further support other vile, greedy, disgusting pigs of human beings as they spread their messages of hate?
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
She's saying that people who would go pitchforks and torches over a 17 yr old guy who had consensual sex with his 15 yr old girlfriend and was on the sex offender registry are the people now defending a guy who fondled children. I think it makes perfect sense.
It does. It's kind of like when people who don't support women having dominion over their own uteruses think it's perfectly acceptable to offer to adopt a baby from someone who doesn't intend to have that baby. It's about having zero awareness and perspective. Stella's you're all up in this thread trying to make it all ok somehow for this family who's wholesomeness you so enjoy. It's gross and you're hurting and offending people. Stop.
Thank you. You put it into better words than I was able to last night.
i feel like this might explain jana's dead eyes? speculation, of course, but something's always been off about her. like, she looks like she loves her sisters, but she seems pretty closed off from michelle, jim bob and some others.
I have always thought she looked sad and not connected.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, but I will stand by the sentiment that I would never forgive, or understand forgiving the abuser and your statement about cringing at those not being able to forgive really kind of pisses me off. I am "forced" by some fucked up family dynamics where I have to interact with my cousin who sexually abused me and somehow she is still the "better one" and it has contributed to my lack of self esteem to the point I think every single day that I'm fat and ugly.
I'm sorry. I don't think I'm explaining myself well as you and mofongo think that I'm saying that people SHOULD be able to forgive. All I meant was that for me, it was possible. I, in no way, think everyone should forgive. All I'm trying to say is that it can happen.
I don't think there is a right or wrong way when it comes things like this. I feel like everyone's situation is different and so is mine. I just didn't appreciate the blanket statement. Sorry if I offended anyone. That is the last thing I wanted to do by coming out of lurkdom to say my peace.
And since I'm already ticked and have enough judgment to go around today, I'll just go ahead and say it. If Anna knew and willingly had children with him - especially after he received no psychiatric counseling whatsoever according to the police report (just three months doing construction with a sorta mentor!!!) and only starting to scratch the surface on what we know, clinically, on juvenile sex offenders- I'm just going to go ahead and point my finger at her, too.
I guess I'm in denial that she could have known because who would willingly bring children into the world with someone like that? The idea is just too fucked up.
Eta: I just read her statement and feel sick for their kids. Damn.
And since I'm already ticked and have enough judgment to go around today, I'll just go ahead and say it. If Anna knew and willingly had children with him - especially after he received no psychiatric counseling whatsoever according to the police report (just three months doing construction with a sorta mentor!!!) and only starting to scratch the surface on what we know, clinically, on juvenile sex offenders- I'm just going to go ahead and point my finger at her, too.
I guess I'm in denial that she could have known because who would willingly bring children into the world with someone like that? The idea is just too fucked up.
When I first heard of this, after feeling for the girls, I felt bad for her and their children. Now I just think she is an asshole.
Have any other family members commented on Josh's "apology" or the articles coming out? Come on Jessa, this is your moment
Considering she was likely one of those molested, I don't think saying "this is your moment" is appropriate.
True, poor choice of expression. I just want her to be able to do what she wants for once, not worry about what the family wants/needs. Walk away, tell her side of the story, yell, cry, or be silent.
Now I'm about to reveal that I've watched a few episodes... I keep thinking back to Jessa's wedding when Jinger cried and said that Jessa had been there for her no matter what she was going through. I keep linking this story with those words and wonder if their connection stems, in part, from going through this awful ordeal together. Realistically, no one would understand you more than one of your sisters in that scenario. The whole thing turns my stomach.
I guess I'm in denial that she could have known because who would willingly bring children into the world with someone like that? The idea is just too fucked up.
What kind of parents would let their daughter marry a predator?
All of these people seem really fucked up. I do not get the fascination with them or their lifestyle.
In their circle, the Duggars are like royalty. It's not easy to make enough money to support a dozen kids when you don't really believe in working for the man and you aren't allowed to go to a real college, plus your wife has to work inside the home, doing homey things. The Duggars make bank. They are famous. They evangelize their lifestyle. People speculated that the reason all the girls waited so long to get married was that Jim Bob was really picky about who his daughters would marry - it can't be just any guy who claims to love Jesus!
I guess I'm in denial that she could have known because who would willingly bring children into the world with someone like that? The idea is just too fucked up.
What kind of parents would let their daughter marry a predator?
All of these people seem really fucked up. I do not get the fascination with them or their lifestyle.
I think people forget how charming sex offenders are. They say all the right things and can be upstanding citizens. We're not talking about someone hiding behind a building snatching little girls up.
I'm sure he used that charm to assure them it was a mistake and he was no longer a danger to anyone.
I think people forget how charming sex offenders are. They say all the right things and can be upstanding citizens. We're not talking about someone hiding behind a building snatching little girls up.
I'm sure he used that charm to assure them it was a mistake and he was no longer a danger to anyone.
They never considered him a danger! Jesus, people. We're not talking about a typical family mindset here. Josh Duggar is in charge of all of his unmarried sister's purity if something happens to Jim Bob. That's what's happening. There isn't any atonement and convincing; those girls never had a chance at restitution or closure.
Yeah, this has nothing to do with charm.
What you're seeing is a byproduct of teaching a bunch of young boys and girls that any sort of sexuality is a sin and that girls have no autonomy over themselves; their bodies are sinful and they need to cover up to avoid "tempting" people.
They are coloring this as a mistake because it fits with their general thought process that sin can be wiped away by asking for forgiveness and that females are less important and valuable than males are.
I just wonder if there are more girls or sisters who were also touched that have clammed up under pressure from the family. I can easily see them being forced to keep their mouth shut for the sake of the show and the family's wholesome reputation.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, but I will stand by the sentiment that I would never forgive, or understand forgiving the abuser and your statement about cringing at those not being able to forgive really kind of pisses me off. I am "forced" by some fucked up family dynamics where I have to interact with my cousin who sexually abused me and somehow she is still the "better one" and it has contributed to my lack of self esteem to the point I think every single day that I'm fat and ugly.
I'm sorry. I don't think I'm explaining myself well as you and mofongo think that I'm saying that people SHOULD be able to forgive. All I meant was that for me, it was possible. I, in no way, think everyone should forgive. All I'm trying to say is that it can happen.
I don't think there is a right or wrong way when it comes things like this. I feel like everyone's situation is different and so is mine. I just didn't appreciate the blanket statement. Sorry if I offended anyone. That is the last thing I wanted to do by coming out of lurkdom to say my peace.
I apologize if I came across too aggressively - you are right, every situation is different and people have to, and do, deal with them in many different ways. I won't be able to forgive and I struggle, but try to work on myself every day. I'm lucky that I have an amazing DH who supports me no matter what.
What you're seeing is a byproduct of teaching a bunch of young boys and girls that any sort of sexuality is a sin and that girls have no autonomy over themselves; their bodies are sinful and they need to cover up to avoid "tempting" people.
They are coloring this as a mistake because it fits with their general thought process that sin can be wiped away by asking for forgiveness and that females are less important and valuable than males are.
Word. I'm a little grossed out by the confusion over what motivates the Duggars, because I feel like it stems from people needing justification for being fascinated by their lifestyle. By supporting their show, and it's many pronged influence over their community, we have normalized their behavior. Frankly, we don't have a right to be confused or outraged; we made these people what they are, and allowed them to have a forum for spreading hate and subjugation for a decade.
Exactly.
This is not even close to the first time they have exhibited disgusting behavior.
The shock that this "wholesome family" (who repeatedly has shown themselves to be hateful, hypocritical, abusive bigots who take advantage of their children) might have a pedophile in their midst really pisses me off because it's not as though these are nice people. I don't understand why they still have a platform amongst people who don't subscribe to their particular brand of ignorant bullshit.
They never considered him a danger! Jesus, people. We're not talking about a typical family mindset here. Josh Duggar is in charge of all of his unmarried sister's purity if something happens to Jim Bob. That's what's happening. There isn't any atonement and convincing; those girls never had a chance at restitution or closure.
Yeah, this has nothing to do with charm.
What you're seeing is a byproduct of teaching a bunch of young boys and girls that any sort of sexuality is a sin and that girls have no autonomy over themselves; their bodies are sinful and they need to cover up to avoid "tempting" people.
The blatant over-confidence that Josh has always projected as the oldest, i.e. the one in charge, is even more disgusting to me now than it was before. I've never once seen a shred of humility neither in his father, nor Josh, & I have wondered how they think Jesus feels about that. Since the molestation news came out, his superiority complex just takes on a whole new level of GROSS. I really do hope/ wish, there was a sister who is old enough or someone who can rescue those girls. At the very least- the ones who want to be rescued
I just wonder if there are more girls or sisters who were also touched that have clammed up under pressure from the family. I can easily see them being forced to keep their mouth shut for the sake of the show and the family's wholesome reputation.
Of course there are. You don't stop at four if you're a serial molester.
And I'll bet they wouldn't even come forward in their own family. They've already seen what comes of that: nothing for him, shame and blame for them. Why bother? Hell, they probably believe that it's their fault for being ungodly.