Post by shostakovich on May 28, 2015 14:06:43 GMT -5
When I'm in a good place mentally, I want to be more physically active, which leads to me wanting to eat better. Then I start tracking my food, and my calories burned during exercise, and I get pretty focused on it for a while.
Then when I have a mental health downswing - because of stress or the changing of seasons or just because clinical depression is a punk ass bitch - suddenly none of it matters and I "deserve" to eat whatever I want. Even though I *know* that eating better makes me feel better, and that exercise boosts my mood a LOT, I just can't bring myself to do it. I use food to try and make myself feel better, which works for about .0006 seconds. Then there is guilt.
There was a W30 blog post a few years ago about Halloween candy and how it is not inherently special. You can go to Walgreens any time and get fun size kit kats. It talked about making your treats/indulgences/"off plan" choices the best choices possible. So rather than eating the Halloween candy, plan a really amazing ice cream cone from a local ice cream shop or something equally amazing.
This is a really good way to look at food/lifestyle and I think it's something that I should try and switch my focus to. I guess for myself, I have a mediocre relationship with food. I had a very bad food relationship for a long time that was triggered by some other unfortunate instances, but I feel like over the last few months I've been working harder at developing a better food relationship. I'm trying to not be so hard on myself, trying to let go/ignore the fat feelings, and focus on eating good things. I still eat some processed food (probably always will lol) I'm trying to make whole foods my focus - I actually made a really delicious greek feta dip yesterday, yum!
You should feel proud of your progress and I hope you can find what works for you. I'll take any helpful tips you come across lol!
One of the things I did, when we really committed to better eating, was make a list of the things I LOVED. Foods that, if restricted, I would miss in a not-healthy way. They were: Cheese Chocolate Brownies Oatmeal Pizza Cheeseburgers Cuban food
DH did the same thing, and we came up with a plan-- not set in stone-- that we felt was reasonable, with which we could accommodate our favorite foods. All of the above foods play a role in our lifestyle, in some form. For example, I know that every year, on my birthday, I'm going to have amazing pizza. And honestly, I can wait til then. I eat chocolate, but less of it, and higher quality. I make my own protein bars that sort-of resemble a brownie, and they satisfy my need for chewy chocolate. I eat oatmeal on occasion. If we want Cuban food, we order it with extra slaw and half the rice.
More than anything, eating healthier for me has meant eating more intentionally. We don't look at it as avoiding or restricting certain foods, so much as planning when, and from what source, we'll eat them.
I eat way too much. I don't necessarily even eat bad things, just waaaaay too much of everything. I am insatiable. I go through spurts where I a very regimented as far as macros go, but most of the time I just eat and eat. Luckily, I've let go of a lot of the obsession with calories and all that that I did when I was younger. I never restrict certain groups of food. I feel like unless you have medical reasons to do so, it's a recipe for disaster. I DO eat emotionally so depression and anxiety = weight gain for me.
I feel bad that I eat so much. I am pretty active and work out a ton, so I get down on myself bc I feel like if I ate like a normal person I'd see more dramatic results. I wish I knew how to recognize being full and when I've had enough. That's my biggest problem. For the most part I'd say it's healthy, but ONLY because I exercise so much. That's what keeps me balanced. If my activity decreases that is when the negativity and shame creep in in a big way.
When I am not counting calories and instead focusing on eating a more nutritious diet I would say I have a healthy relationship. I've been trending towards this for awhile.
When I count calories I obsess, and that's when the problems start.
This is me. I can't count calories at all or I get stressed and emotional about the smallest shit.
I definitely do not have a healthy relationship with food. DH does and it is kind of irritating to see him casually eat whatever and I'm stressing over good v bad starches, how much dressing, etc. I really wish I could be like him when it came to food.
Post by cabbagecabbage on May 28, 2015 15:00:27 GMT -5
I'm ehhhhhh.... ok with my food relationship. I have portion issues. I like to eat and I love food, shopping, cooking, dining out, all of it.
I am not a model eater but I have stopped feeling guilt or shame about eating. That right there made the biggest difference in my happiness and is why I feel ok about things.
Me too. I KNOW in my head that the number on the scale means less than how things fit, how I feel, etc., as well as weighing myself daily is not productive. I do it anyway. Every single day, I hop on the scale to make sure I didn't pack on five pounds overnight.
Yep, every morning, sometimes twice, and it determines my mood for the day. It's pretty messed up, honestly. My h has hidden the scale from me before.
I've hidden the scale from myself a few times. It's amazing what the little number does to fuck with your mind
No. I have a long past history of anorexia/bulimia. I'm mostly better about it now but some things still trip me up and trigger the anxiety (restaurants and vacations). Day to day is not terrible though.
sugarbear I'm going to need you and your H to move into my house for about six months, please.
Ha. Can I leave my kids at home?
The thing is, it took a really long time for me to get on board. I honestly thought that giving up convenience foods and cooking everything from scratch would be impossible (even with DH doing all the meal prep, I'm in charge of feeding the boys breakfast and lunch). I really didn't think we'd be able to feed our kids this way, and because of that and my love of pizza, I was really resistant.
Everyone in your house needs to be on board. If your H likes fast food, for example, he's just not going to be able to bring it around. For me, H was happy to make the change and he doesn't crave foods like I do. This made it a lot easier for me, because it really forced me to consider if I wanted to eat something, kwim? No one wants to cheat alone!
Serious question, since so many of you struggle with your relationship with food.
I'm not exactly surprised by the answers here, but I am in a way. Do you think the culture of our country helps create these issues? Do you think people in other countries experience the same unhealthy relationships that we do?
I don't feel like it's normal for such a large percentage of people (yes, I know this is a small, biased sample size) to struggle this much with food, but maybe I'm wrong. I have to wonder if our food regulations, the amount of processed food available to us, and limitless fast food and quick service options promotes an environment like this.
I have a healthy relationship with food, but there's no doubt that I struggle with the amount of processed food I eat, knowing that it isn't good for me and doesn't make me feel great. I enjoy food and don't really limit myself, but I do try to make the best choices most of the time. There's no doubt it's hard though.
Post by mrsukyankee on May 28, 2015 15:42:59 GMT -5
I think because my last diet was about doing it slowly, with a small 5-15% deficit off my TDEE and I took a full year+ to lose 20 lb, I've gotten to have a better relationship with food now. I don't obsess, I go out to eat but I've learned how to eat the correct portions. Do I overeat ever? Yes, but then I eat a bit less the next day. I'm listening more to my body and hunger signals and, even bigger, I've slowed down my eating so I can recognise when I'm starting to feel satisfied. When I don't do that and just eat due to greed, I can notice more that I don't enjoy the food. So, yes, I'm getting better at having a healthy relationship with food - it's only taken 46 years to get here.
sugarbear I'm going to need you and your H to move into my house for about six months, please.
Ha. Can I leave my kids at home?
The thing is, it took a really long time for me to get on board. I honestly thought that giving up convenience foods and cooking everything from scratch would be impossible (even with DH doing all the meal prep, I'm in charge of feeding the boys breakfast and lunch). I really didn't think we'd be able to feed our kids this way, and because of that and my love of pizza, I was really resistant.
Everyone in your house needs to be on board. If your H likes fast food, for example, he's just not going to be able to bring it around. For me, H was happy to make the change and he doesn't crave foods like I do. This made it a lot easier for me, because it really forced me to consider if I wanted to eat something, kwim? No one wants to cheat alone!
Our grocery bills are outrageous, too.
I have found the same to be very true. It took about a month for my H to come around, but he has been eating a lot better of the past two weeks. He still has things he eats sometimes that I don't (granola, potato chips, taffy), but if he knows it's something I like he'll either eat it elsewhere or kind of take quick bites out of my view and be done.
And our grocery bills are ridiculous. That's one of the harder parts.
The thing is, it took a really long time for me to get on board. I honestly thought that giving up convenience foods and cooking everything from scratch would be impossible (even with DH doing all the meal prep, I'm in charge of feeding the boys breakfast and lunch). I really didn't think we'd be able to feed our kids this way, and because of that and my love of pizza, I was really resistant.
Everyone in your house needs to be on board. If your H likes fast food, for example, he's just not going to be able to bring it around. For me, H was happy to make the change and he doesn't crave foods like I do. This made it a lot easier for me, because it really forced me to consider if I wanted to eat something, kwim? No one wants to cheat alone!
Our grocery bills are outrageous, too.
I have found the same to be very true. It took about a month for my H to come around, but he has been eating a lot better of the past two weeks. He still has things he eats sometimes that I don't (granola, potato chips, taffy), but if he knows it's something I like he'll either eat it elsewhere or kind of take quick bites out of my view and be done.
And our grocery bills are ridiculous. That's one of the harder parts.
Yes. $750 on beef, pork, and lamb every six months. And, $1,000 /month on groceries.
I have found the same to be very true. It took about a month for my H to come around, but he has been eating a lot better of the past two weeks. He still has things he eats sometimes that I don't (granola, potato chips, taffy), but if he knows it's something I like he'll either eat it elsewhere or kind of take quick bites out of my view and be done.
And our grocery bills are ridiculous. That's one of the harder parts.
Yes. $750 on beef, pork, and lamb every six months. And, $1,000 /month on groceries.
After taking a good look at my grocery bills the past couple of weeks, this is where we'll be sitting too. It makes me want to weep.
Are you getting your meat through a local butcher?
No. My parents were pretty restrictive with snacks or junk food (no sugary cereal, one pop a week, desert as a reward) so when I got to HS/college and realized I could buy whatever I wanted I went overboard.
I still reward myself with junk food, which I'd like to get away from. I tracked calories for a while but it was causing some unhealthy thoughts. I have been trying to focus on conscious, mindful eating.
Yes. $750 on beef, pork, and lamb every six months. And, $1,000 /month on groceries.
After taking a good look at my grocery bills the past couple of weeks, this is where we'll be sitting too. It makes me want to weep.
Are you getting your meat through a local butcher?
We get it from a sustainable farm a couple hours from us. They butcher every few months, and deliver to the city. The meat is so, so good, and so much cheaper this way.
I grew up extremely poor and there was always nutritious food on the table (thank you local farm community), but the fun stuff, we never got and there was never "hey mom, I was spaghetti tonight", it was always what had been given to us by our neighbors. Stark contrast to today when I cannot leave sweets and soda alone because my brain justifies not having it as a child. I think I will always struggle. Weight Watchers did me a ton of good though and I plan to do it again once the baby comes.
No. My parents were pretty restrictive with snacks or junk food (no sugary cereal, one pop a week, desert as a reward) so when I got to HS/college and realized I could buy whatever I wanted I went overboard.
This was MH'S family, too. When he got to HS he had a pack of starburst and pop tarts every day for lunch his freshman year.
I tend to use food to reward myself or deal with stress, which I think is common but probably not healthy. I also like to cook and bake as a hobby but try to get that stuff out of my house as much as possible. I just don't keep most problem foods in our house. No sweets that I don't bake from scratch, no ice cream, no chips or most snacks other than fruit. I do love wine and cheese though, so I'm still heavier than I want to be.
I am very weirdly obsessed with food. I think about it all the time. I research it. I photograph it. I savor it. I talk about it. I dream about it.
Unrestricted, I gain weight. It's like I have a quest with food. I need to find the tastiest food. I need to memorialize it. I need to share it. I need to consume it.
My obsession has led to my gaining of about 60 pounds over the course of the past 20 years, and it has led to my pre-diabetes.
My recent diagnosis has been a big wake-up call for me.
I still obsess over food, but I do my best to eat less of it now.
I have a healthy relationship with food: I have zero snacks in my house because...I'd snarf it all up if given the chance. I don't binge eat. I've been avoiding sweets for quite some time.
What I don't have is a healthy self image. Menopause changes all the damn rules about losing weight and where you gain your weight. If I drop one pound, I'm happy as a lark all day. The next day I gain it back. I eat low-carb, healthy amount of protein, which has helped to shave a couple inches off my waist.
But losing weight...I have to accept the fact that I have to eat less than from even 10 years ago. So I'm trying to get into the habit of doing so, along with the low carb/medium protein food intake.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Eh, it's okay. It hasn't always been this way and I've got ten more pounds (foreverrrr) to be where I want to be, but I eat generally healthy with room for indulgence.
I have to be careful or I can go back to bad thinking easily. Eating secretly, obsessing about weight and calories, associating my weight with my self worth, etc. My parents a little and my grandparents A LOT (all four of them) are/were psychotic about food and weight. It's hard to escape that.
I am trying very very hard not to do this to my kids. ILs are on a never-ending diet and I overreact to that like whoa. I don't want them to talk about it with my kids EVER. You can be on weight watchers for the rest of your life but so help me god if you contribute to food issues for my kids, I will end you. Unexpectedly, my husband is totally normal about food.
Post by spellingbea on May 28, 2015 20:32:18 GMT -5
Nope. My mom put me on my first diet when I was seven, and I don't think I've stopped obssessing since. I'm trying really hard right now, so DD doesn't pick up on it as she gets older.
Serious question, since so many of you struggle with your relationship with food.
I'm not exactly surprised by the answers here, but I am in a way. Do you think the culture of our country helps create these issues? Do you think people in other countries experience the same unhealthy relationships that we do?
I don't feel like it's normal for such a large percentage of people (yes, I know this is a small, biased sample size) to struggle this much with food, but maybe I'm wrong. I have to wonder if our food regulations, the amount of processed food available to us, and limitless fast food and quick service options promotes an environment like this.
I have a healthy relationship with food, but there's no doubt that I struggle with the amount of processed food I eat, knowing that it isn't good for me and doesn't make me feel great. I enjoy food and don't really limit myself, but I do try to make the best choices most of the time. There's no doubt it's hard though.
I grew up in Midwest suburbia and was raised by baby boomers who were raised on convenience foods. We never had vegetables fresh from the produce section other than potatoes (sometimes) and corn (sometimes.) We always had frozen vegetables, frequently doused in cheese sauce. My mom is also Italian so CARBS.
I definitely think I'd be thinner if I lived somewhere walkable to work, for example. I'm hoping with my next apartment move that will be possible.
To answer OP, no, I do not have a healthy relationship with food. I'm short and gain weight easily. I've been chubby since I was 12 or curvy, I look OK but BMI tells me I'm fat so, there's that. People tell me I looked my "best" at two phases in my life 1) Sophmore year of high school (I was very, very sick with mono and didn't eat much for months, literally MONTHS) and 2) Sophmore year of college when I was on the vodka/nacho diet but obsessed with Weight Watchers. I limited what I ate during the week so I could drink a fifth over the weekend and binge on nachos.
To honestly be society's goal weight for my age and height, I would have very little to indulge on. Basically no more than one glass of wine a day, no more than one dessert a week, and limited carbs. I realize for a lot of people that isn't a problem, but I love to entertain, cook, and bake. It sucks that my greatest hobbies and joys are so incompatible with what I guess I *should* look like.
Honestly, if I lived during the Renaissance people would think I'm a babe.
I think I do now, but I didn't from early college until about 1.5 years ago. In college I would starve myself all day and then binge on booze and Mexican food all night. I lost 15 lbs, gained 40, lost 25 and on and on for years. Once I graduated I lost the college weight but was OBSESSED with food. I would weigh portions, measure a 1/2 cup of cereal, obsessively calculate my calories over and over. I had food journals where I would record every. single. thing. that went into my mouth. I kind of got into the chewing/spitting thing. When I would drink I would come home and binge. I remember waking up one day surrounded by an empty package of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter. I got better when I was getting in shape for my wedding and after I was married. My husband eats pretty healthy and I think it rubbed off on me. But I still would count calories in my mind and would binge every so often. I really think what changed me was when I got pregnant. I knew I had a higher risk of preemies so I wanted to follow the recommended 20 lbs by 20 weeks or whatever the twin thing is, so I started eating what sounded good, snacking throughout the day and making sure I was getting a lot of fat. For the first time I was listening to my body and it was really nice. After I had my boys I just had a different mindset. We eat fresh food, meal plan and limit our eating out. I let myself have treats throughout the day and don't have the all or nothing mentality I used to have. I hope that I can stay this way. It is so nice to feel like I have a good relationship with food of after years of the binge restriction cycle.