Oh. Bernadine I want to give you so many hugs. I'm so sorry. And I know it's easier said than done, but don't feel like you've done anything to deserve this. You haven't.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
"You. You and your crazy life. You and your geographic anomaly. You and your drunken lesbianic ways and terrible navigational skills." - ProfArt and her holy baby
I'm so sorry. You haven't done anything to deserve this, some of us just have a shitty time TTC. ((Hugs)) I hope your beach trip can help you feel a bit better.