It's really weird. I bet she told him to ask you so she didn't have to tell him no. I can't believe that he wouldn't give a second thought to offering with someone he barely knows.
So, would you have been OK with it? Am I being weird?
No, I would not be okay with it. And, no, you're not being weird. Your husband does sound sweet - actually, he reminds me of my own - but I still think *he* is being weird. Sweet, naive, innocent, whatever…that is a little obtuse IMHO.
So…is that that, or will you two have a talk about this? Or did you have a talk when you made the decision? I don't think I could just say, "Ummm…no, I'd rather you not do that," and move on. I would probably need to talk through his logic a little.
In my case, I would be fine with this but I bet my H wouldn't be. My mom is part of organizations where people share rooms with strangers or host strangers in their home all the time. I have no problem sharing rooms with anyone, men included.
So, would you have been OK with it? Am I being weird?
So…is that that, or will you two have a talk about this? Or did you have a talk when you made the decision? I don't think I could just say, "Ummm…no, I'd rather you not do that," and move on. I would probably need to talk through his logic a little.
We don't need to talk. I'm pretty sure his reasoning was, "here's a member of my group who I talk to once a week at practice, and at events on occasion. She really wants to go to this event, but doesn't have the means. I'm a nice guy, I'll offer to split costs with her. My wife won't mind." I'm sure the thought of her gender didn't occur much to him, and he figures he knows her as well as a lot of other people in the group.
I already said to him last night that I thought it was a little weird and I wouldn't be OK with it. That's when he told me she said something along those lines, and that he should discuss it with me. He threw in the "that means she won't be able to go" comment I think just to make it clear that he was her only option at this point. And I clearly stated that didn't it change my mind.
If anything, I think he was just surprised that I said no. But he respected my decision.
I have to LOL that I think this is the first WWYD post I've seen on MM with a unanimous response.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Aug 21, 2012 12:13:03 GMT -5
It's weird. Weirder to me is that he didn't realize this. Weirdest of all is that your reaction surprised him.
I really like that the woman in questions told him to ask you. She has common sense. (By which I don't mean to imply your husband doesn't. But some people don't.)
Post by dr.girlfriend on Aug 21, 2012 12:46:47 GMT -5
Under the circumstances, weird. If they were really good friends and longtime buddies it would be less weird, but for mere acquaintances that would be very weird. I see where you hubby is coming from and wouldn't be shocked that he thought it was okay, but...yeah.
I also vote weird, especially since he asked her wo talking to you first, but I think it's kind of cool that it ended up being no big deal between you guys.
drloretts, you know my husband is in the same group (well, he says he is, but has been on hiatus for a few years). He would probably have made the same offer, only to realize it was weird when he tried to tell me about it. The guy is just too nice.
Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G. K. Chesterton
drloretts, you know my husband is in the same group (well, he says he is, but has been on hiatus for a few years). He would probably have made the same offer, only to realize it was weird when he tried to tell me about it. The guy is just too nice.
Exactly. Which is why I'm not up in arms about it. It's pretty par for the course for those guys.
Post by crazycakes on Aug 21, 2012 14:58:10 GMT -5
I sometimes share rooms on trips with really good guy friends (on a "girls' trip" that included one of our best gay friends from grad school with whom I even shared a bed), but they are all guys I have known FOREVER and that DH knows as well. And most of them are married, and I know their wives. In our marriage, that is no big deal. These dudes are like brothers to me.
Post by Doggy Mommy on Aug 21, 2012 18:50:34 GMT -5
Definitely weird! No way would I be ok with that. Dh has a hobby kind of like that too and we have hosted his Internet friends, but they've all been male.