In today's "Worst Ideas Ever"....

[ttt]

 I also feel like this is the direct result of the whole "adoption is saving a life!!" crap that goes around, as if adopted kids are supposed to be grateful for being 'saved' instead of the adoptive parents being grateful for the opportunity to have a child and add to their family. 

www.sfgate.com/entertainment/article/Dear-Abby-Don-t-adopt-a-child-because-your-kid-6483136.php

Dear Abby: I am a 24-year-old single mother of an amazing 3-year-old girl. I have had more than my share of turmoil with her father. We are no longer together, and he isn’t in the picture. Abby, I feel damaged. I’m afraid I will never love again or find anyone to love me the way I need. My daughter is lonely, always around adults and has no one her age to play with. I really want to have another child. While I may never have the right man to father one, I’d like to save a life and adopt another daughter and playmate for my little girl. Some people may see me as too young or unable to do it. But the love, care and providing for my child exceed anything I’ll ever do in my life. What do you think?
Maternal Midwesterner

Dear M.M.: To adopt a child for the reason you have stated would be a terrible disservice to an innocent child. If you want your little girl to learn to make friends with other children, then enroll her in day care, where she will be exposed to some. As to your feeling that you are damaged and will never find love again, many women feel as you do after a bad breakup. Most of them heal, and go on to have fulfilling lives. In your case, it may take the help of a therapist to find your self-confidence again. But trust me, it can be done. Another child is not the answer to what’s ailing you right now.

[IIOY]

There is so much wrong here, I don't even know where to start with this.  Well, maybe take her to a fucking playground?

[cattledogkisses]

I'm assuming her daughter will be in preschool next year, where I'm sure she'll have plenty of friends and interaction with people her own age.

"Saving" a child is not a good idea.

[tictac]

Regardless of if you're adopting or having one on your own, wanting your kid to have someone to play with is a terrible reason to bring another child into your family.

[StrawberryBlondie]

Maybe she shod get the kid a hamster.

[Velar Fricative]

Sept 8, 2015 12:37:41 GMT -5 IIOY said:

There is so much wrong here, I don't even know where to start with this.  Well, maybe take her to a fucking playground?

Here, I'll take it.

1) "Saving a life" - Adoption is a way to build your family. I believe the idea that you're "saving a life" is what has caused some really fucked-up adoption situations out there. Like, way to make your kid feel forever in your debt because you "saved" him/her. That can't possibly cause problems.

2) "Adopting a daughter" - Why, because a son wouldn't be a good playmate for a daughter? And why can't people understand that there's no guarantee siblings will get along?

3) "Nobody to play with" - There are lots of other solutions for this besides having another child, whether biologically or through adoption. The playground, preschool, etc. My goodness, she's dumb.

4) "Hopeless 24-year-old" - Fucking Millennials.

[ttt]

Sept 8, 2015 12:55:45 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Sept 8, 2015 12:37:41 GMT -5 IIOY said:

There is so much wrong here, I don't even know where to start with this.  Well, maybe take her to a fucking playground?

Here, I'll take it.

1) "Saving a life" - Adoption is a way to build your family. I believe the idea that you're "saving a life" is what has caused some really fucked-up adoption situations out there. Like, way to make your kid feel forever in your debt because you "saved" him/her. That can't possibly cause problems.

2) "Adopting a daughter" - Why, because a son wouldn't be a good playmate for a daughter? And why can't people understand that there's no guarantee siblings will get along?

3) "Nobody to play with" - There are lots of other solutions for this besides having another child, whether biologically or through adoption. The playground, preschool, etc. My goodness, she's dumb.

4) "Hopeless 24-year-old" - Fucking Millennials.

You forgot adopting because she's never going to find loooooooove agaiiiiiinn. 

[meshaliuknits]

Someone needs to tell her that adopting a puppy and adopting a child are not the same thing.

[Velar Fricative]

Sept 8, 2015 12:56:51 GMT -5 ttt said:

Sept 8, 2015 12:55:45 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

Here, I'll take it.

1) "Saving a life" - Adoption is a way to build your family. I believe the idea that you're "saving a life" is what has caused some really fucked-up adoption situations out there. Like, way to make your kid feel forever in your debt because you "saved" him/her. That can't possibly cause problems.

2) "Adopting a daughter" - Why, because a son wouldn't be a good playmate for a daughter? And why can't people understand that there's no guarantee siblings will get along?

3) "Nobody to play with" - There are lots of other solutions for this besides having another child, whether biologically or through adoption. The playground, preschool, etc. My goodness, she's dumb.

4) "Hopeless 24-year-old" - Fucking Millennials.

You forgot adopting because she's never going to find loooooooove agaiiiiiinn. 

That's part of #4.

[karenj]

The whole saving a life used to piss me off to.  I have adopted 2 dd's through foster care.  People used to tell us all the time we did such a good thing.  Drove me insane.  We were not able to have children.  This is how we built our family.  They "saved" us and made us a family.  

I mean for real if we wouldn't have adopted them they would have found another family.  So in no way did I really save them.  It would be nice to think that but I am just so grateful that we were picked to be their parents.  They have been with us for 13 years and are some sassy girls but I love them so much my heart explodes with it sometimes.  Yeah, they saved me.


Sorry I get carried away.

[aurora]

Sept 8, 2015 12:58:38 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Someone needs to tell her that adopting a puppy and adopting a child are not the same thing.

I mean, when we adopted our dog the shelter's literature did say "thanks for saving a life today!" which probably wasn't even true since it's a no kill shelter and she was quite adoptable.

Oh, wait, we were talking about children? Never mind.

[redwino]

Sept 8, 2015 13:45:05 GMT -5 karenj said:

The whole saving a life used to piss me off to.  I have adopted 2 dd's through foster care.  People used to tell us all the time we did such a good thing.  Drove me insane.  We were not able to have children.  This is how we built our family.  They "saved" us and made us a family.  

I mean for real if we wouldn't have adopted them they would have found another family.  So in no way did I really save them.  It would be nice to think that but I am just so grateful that we were picked to be their parents.  They have been with us for 13 years and are some sassy girls but I love them so much my heart explodes with it sometimes.  Yeah, they saved me.


Sorry I get carried away.

PREACH!

If anyone was saved in our family through adoption it was definitely us. We are lucky and blessed to have DD in our life.

This letter really pissed me off. Children who are adopted are not throw away children. The idea of bringing a child into your family just to be a playmate for another child is disgusting.

[mouse]

In HS my mom wanted to adopt a duck because our basset hound was lonely during the day.

This woman is crazier than my mother.