Post by christy082 on Sept 10, 2015 10:32:42 GMT -5
Regarding groceries and lunches, definitely meal plan each week based on the sales ads. It sucks having to do it but it's worth it. Have a plan for fresh fruits and veggies so they get used and don't go bad. Look online for printable manufacturer coupons. I think you can stack those with Cartwheel deals. Stock up on meats when on sale and freeze. You can add a can or two of beans to meats to stretch the meal further and have leftovers for lunch. I tossed a can of chickpeas in my sloppy joes for tonight and add black beans to taco meat. I'll use beans in place of meat too (ex: chickpea pot pie instead of chicken).
Sandwiches do get boring but maybe you could mix it up? Instead of just lunch meat and PBJ rotate in egg salad, chicken salad, tuna. Make extra grilled chicken at dinner and make a sandwich for lunch the next day. You could do hummus sandwiches too. Or hummus with pitas and veggies with a hardboiled egg and fruit. And definitely leftovers.
Since a lot of previous suggestions aren't working for you, it sounds like you should probably start by diligently tracking your spending each month for a few months to get an idea of what you actually spend. Your budget had a lot of approximations and unknown numbers.
Use mint since it is free and spend the time each weekend to recategorize your expenses as needed. Once you do that, you will see where your money is going and where you need to make cut backs.
Food is always my biggest expense, and seeing what I actually spend each month was shocking to me. It made me sick to see how much we were spending on food for just two people. Perhaps seeing your actual numbers will motivate you to take bigger steps.
Post by estrellita on Sept 10, 2015 10:43:33 GMT -5
I logged into Mint for the first time in a while last night but it wasn't loading the transactions from our checking. I know using that helped us quit smoking previously. I hope it loads our transactions otherwise it's pointless, lol.
I am trying to think outside the box. What if you quit your job and became a nanny or in-home daycare provider? You net $750 or so after daycare now. If you did not have a daycare expense and made $15/hr as a nanny where you bring your baby too, you'd bring home about $1,700/month after taxes instead of $750.
Or what if you SAH during the day (no daycare costs) and work evenings as a server or bartender? Again, no daycare cost and tips could bring your income up significantly.
If your current job has you on a path to a career that will make substantially more in the long run, ignore these suggestions!
When I first started tracking my expenses several years ago I wrote everything out in a notebook. Every little thing I spent money on. Doing that for 1 month was eye opening. I didn't make any changes until that first month was over. I go back to tracking (on my computer now) when I start to overspend. I think there is something that really makes it solid when you write it out though.
Post by estrellita on Sept 10, 2015 10:53:11 GMT -5
The only problem with me getting a different job is that I have the benefits and if we go through H's work it's twice as much. I also make more base pay than H but he gets commission so it kinda evens out. He could move to another position to make more but it's a higher commission ratio so it's not guaranteed money. There are some jobs at my work he's looking into! I do really love the idea of having E with me though. I have a weird dream of working in a place I can bring E every day!
The one I signed up for is Schlesinger Associates, but I don't know if it is specific to my area. Maybe Google focus groups and the name of the city nearest you.
Okay, I feel like people are giving suggestions that are great money savers, but also extreme for someone who hasn't been living that type of lifestyle. Tbh, I myself would have a very difficult time giving up a lot of the things suggested here. To follow some of these suggestions, like giving up netflix and hulu, sharing one car, and others, you would have to be of the mindset that saving money and getting in a healthy financial place is the absolute highest priority. You would have to make that the absolute most important goal. Things like entertainment, "luxury" type of possessions like clothing, nicer car, and house decor type of things, would be completely off your list of priorities. I don't sense that you are in the right mindset for that. And that's okay, it is extreme, and honestly I would have difficulty getting in that mindset as well.
If you want to start small, I would focus on your food spending. How about for one month, you do not go out to eat, no take out, no fast food, no coffee, absolutely nothing you don't make at home. Plan your meals ahead of time, by making a list by looking at coupons and sale ads. Try to plan meals that use a lot of the same ingredients. Go to the store only one time per week, and don't go back to pick up any odds and ends during the rest of the week for any reason. If you find you forgot something, go without it.
Eliminate spending on any nonessential "stuff". I think it's easier to not spend on things as opposed to services like netflix. Even with the new house, just make do with what you have. There is really nothing other than food that you absolutely have to buy on a regular basis.
Maybe by starting small with these areas, you will slowly get used to making do with less and you can slowly change your outlook so that it will be more feasible to cut back in other areas. I wish you the best of luck, and admire your bravery in posting your budget!!
Post by estrellita on Sept 10, 2015 11:27:20 GMT -5
Thanks mac08, I think that's more what I was looking for. I do also have to add that it's so easy to tell other people they don't need all these things. It's like people on assistance. Sure, it's easy to tell them to give up everything, but it's that realistic or helpful? Not really.
Okay, I feel like people are giving suggestions that are great money savers, but also extreme for someone who hasn't been living that type of lifestyle. Tbh, I myself would have a very difficult time giving up a lot of the things suggested here. To follow some of these suggestions, like giving up netflix and hulu, sharing one car, and others, you would have to be of the mindset that saving money and getting in a healthy financial place is the absolute highest priority. You would have to make that the absolute most important goal. Things like entertainment, "luxury" type of possessions like clothing, nicer car, and house decor type of things, would be completely off your list of priorities. I don't sense that you are in the right mindset for that. And that's okay, it is extreme, and honestly I would have difficulty getting in that mindset as well.
If you want to start small, I would focus on your food spending. How about for one month, you do not go out to eat, no take out, no fast food, no coffee, absolutely nothing you don't make at home. Plan your meals ahead of time, by making a list by looking at coupons and sale ads. Try to plan meals that use a lot of the same ingredients. Go to the store only one time per week, and don't go back to pick up any odds and ends during the rest of the week for any reason. If you find you forgot something, go without it.
Eliminate spending on any nonessential "stuff". I think it's easier to not spend on things as opposed to services like netflix. Even with the new house, just make do with what you have. There is really nothing other than food that you absolutely have to buy on a regular basis.
Maybe by starting small with these areas, you will slowly get used to making do with less and you can slowly change your outlook so that it will be more feasible to cut back in other areas. I wish you the best of luck, and admire your bravery in posting your budget!!
Post by estrellita on Sept 10, 2015 12:56:10 GMT -5
So we were going to do a second coat of paint on our bedroom but now I'm second guessing if we should. The previous paint shows through pretty badly but we could save time and money by not doing it. Hmm.
I don't think any of us intended for this to be a pile on so I'm sorry. We are maybe a little too eager.
In the spirit of starting small, for the next week could you: 1) Track every penny going out whether it be a bill or other spending (including cash!) Keep track on paper. I hate Mint and personally find it useless. Next Thursday, pull out your sheet and categorize/examine. You could report back here if you wanted, we can be gentle. 2) Find a personal finance blog and spend time browsing it. You may pick up some tips or inspiration. You may see that it can be done, you can do this, you can take control. 3) Listen to a Dave Ramsey show. I know not everyone agrees with his ideas, but hearing other people's stories can be so helpful. 4) Skip the extra paint.
Post by estrellita on Sept 10, 2015 13:21:17 GMT -5
It's ok, I know I'm a little overly sensitive at the moment (ok always, I have this annoying habit of thinking everyone hates me for some reason). I do appreciate all the ideas, it's just a little overwhelming!
I like the idea of tracking on paper. Then I can do it right away or if I have to wait I can just stick the receipt with the paper to fill in later. I might try that.
If I have time tonight I will look into some of those blogs. I did play with the snowball calculator a little last night but need the numbers for H's loans. Then I'll probably show it to him and see what we can do. It was pretty daunting though to see that my lowest SL wouldn't be paid off until 2018
Post by luv2rn4fun on Sept 10, 2015 14:37:00 GMT -5
((hugs)) estrellita. I'm sorry you are feeling attacked. I don't think anyone was intentionally trying to attack you...we just feel for you and want to help.
Your biggest issue is spending money on food/groceries/not meal planning/going out to eat. We track EVERYTHING and it's very helpful. Whenever I spend money, I get a receipt and put it on the counter for when DH comes home. He's in charge of tracking and takes the receipt right upstairs and writes it down. At the end of the month he puts in all in Excel to see where we spent our money and make sure we're not overspending in any given area.
Also, mac08 had a great point...only go to the store 1x/week. Going multiple times and lack of planning can be costly. I know that is part of my problem lately...I've gotten lazy on meal planning and end up at the store a good 2x/week (still shop the ads and get what is on sale but it seems like I'm always buying food and it's never a $10 visit anymore).
Please feel free to keep posting here. We all love you and really hate that you are struggling so much and are so stressed about finances all the time. That is the worst feeling. I do like @krytee 's idea of nanny/daycare/something else you can bring E...assuming you aren't in love with your job, don't have a career path that brings in more money, etc. Even if your DH's benefits cost more you would be bringing in more and have more net income in the end...plus more time with E.
Thanks mac08, I think that's more what I was looking for. I do also have to add that it's so easy to tell other people they don't need all these things. It's like people on assistance. Sure, it's easy to tell them to give up everything, but it's that realistic or helpful? Not really.
Mac did give some really good ideas, and I also like krystee's options for staying home and working at night. That's what I do and it works well for us!
That said, please take this kindly, but people are really worried about you and trying to help you out of a bad position. What if your furnace dies? Bam, you're screwed. What if E has a medical emergency and you have no efund? What if your parents can't help you out anymore? What if you pay for all these on credit and suddenly can't get anymore loans, but then your car dies? These are all fairly realistic possibilities, but without getting into the mindset of fixing everything, you won't be prepared to handle them.
It truly breaks my heart that you think you'll never thrive in life. Why would you think that? There are SO many ways to get over your debt and take control over your future and live with pleasure, not just the misery you currently see. You absolutely make enough money to thrive! You just need to get yourself to a mental place of "this will be a tough few years, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it will be freaking AWESOME!" Because it can be. Honest!
Also, again said with love, but the pile on isn't coming from rich people who have their parents paying bills. These ladies have been where you are. They GET IT. They know it sucks. Really. travelbug has been walking to work for over a year or carpooling simply because in order to pay off their debt they couldn't afford another car. She cut out so many things to take care of business. She speaks from a place of been there done that, and you know what? After a year of hell she is in such a better place! Just one year! I've seen the progress.
HoneySpider has been looking for a job for a long time and living very tight in the middle. They carefully save up just to visit their families and Penny pinch in the middle to make things work. All that and she still gives so much to TTH, so she knows tight.
MrsMB shared her story of paying off debt and cutting back. Now they have a stunning home and she gets treats like stitch fix boxes. Not because she got rich, but because she earned her way there! That is a success story!
I don't want to make you feel worse, I want to encourage you. We are here to help and be here, but it's only useful if you take advice. Please let everyone support you and look forward to thriving. Life can be so, so much more than just getting by.
Post by estrellita on Sept 10, 2015 19:37:40 GMT -5
amaranth I know none of it was said to hurt me, I know it comes from a good place. I know I was defensive about it and I didn't mean to be, but I was just so overwhelmed when I was looking for some small places to start.
I have a terrible mindset about life in general. Even though I always know things could be worse and I know there are a large number of people who DO have things much worse, I can't help but be annoyed with the struggles I've had to deal with. I just feel like everything has always been a huge struggle for me and nothing has ever been easy. I don't expect anything to be handed to me, I just want something to be easier, you know? I know part of it is my depression/anxiety and that's something I've been attempting to work on. I don't take care of myself which has in part led to a lot of these problems.
I really do appreciate everything you have all said and I am taking it to heart and letting it sink in more. For those of you that use Excel spreadsheets to track - do you have a template? I started writing down expenses today and broke out our Aldi receipt into categories (most of it was the baby gate - thanks for the suggestion! That's the cheapest I've ever seen one). I want to input things onto a spreadsheet that I keep up on my computer screen so I remember to track but I'm not sure what kind of format to use.
I think my biggest issue is that I don't plan. I just do things as they come and that leads to a lot of quick meals that aren't healthy and are more expensive. It also leads to impulse buys and not getting the best deals I can get. I picked up the Aldi ad for next week and plan to also go over the Target and grocery store ads to see what's going to be on sale and plan meals from that!
Post by HoneySpider on Sept 10, 2015 19:50:52 GMT -5
estrellita I'm happy to share my spreadsheet with you to help as a starting point. My current one only has a few broad categories but when we were really buckling down, I used to break everything down into very specific categories. I have an old copy of that budget, I've shared it in the past with others on the boards so maybe it will be helpful. PM your email address if you want me to send it.
Getting started is the hardest part! Once you get into a groove (and see all the progress you're making) it really does become second nature.