14 Signs You Should End It

[BlueBayou]

::::: I have been seeing some friends and some of you on here struggling to figure this out. So, courtesy of Yahoo, I found an article I hope will be helpful to those who need it ::::::::::::::::

Most couples have rough patches, many are oblivious to the signs pointing to trouble in the relationship. If you are having a rough time in your relationship and cant decide if it's over, her are some telltale signs that you may need to move on.

1 Your in an abusive relationship. Either mental, emotional, or physical, abuse should not be tolerated, ever.

2 You don't want to spend time with your partner and often find yourself looking for excuses to avoid spending time with one another.

3 You find yourself reminiscing about the past and emotion you used to feel. The intensity of your emotions will dissipate some, once you have past the "honeymoon" stage. This means that you no longer have the feelings toward your partner that you used to. If you look deep and you are honest with yourself, you will know when the love is gone.

4 You have to compromise your beliefs, values, and happiness in order to make your partner happy or to avoid disputes with them.

5 You no longer find your partner attractive or you have changed your appearance drastically hoping to be attractive to your partner.

6 You are not "allowed" to have close friends or close relationships with your family. Your partner may be possessive and get jealous when you try to pursue any relationship besides the one you have with them.

7 You are engaging in repetitive fights that serve no purpose.

8 You no longer want your partner to kiss you. You may try to avoid physical contact all together.

9 You look forward to the times you are apart (at work etc.) and dread the times when you are together.

10 You don't want to try to find a solution for the problem, you just don't care anymore.

11 Every little thing that they do, becomes a huge source of irritation to you. Even the little insignificant things drive you crazy.

12 You don't communicate except when you absolutely have to.

13 You can no longer visualize yourself spending the rest of you life with your partner. You can only see spending the rest of your life without them.

14 You don't have the same long term goals, do you want to be married and they only want to live together?

Deciding to end a relationship should be taken very seriously. It should not be done on a whim, ending a relationship should be the result only after you have tried everything you can to save it. It also takes a lot of thought. The best way to decide if you should end the relationship is by making a list with two columns. The first side should list everything that is positive about your relationship. On the second side, list everything that is negative. Be completely honest when making these lists. It usually helps someone make a decision objectively when you see the two lists next to each other and can see which is longer. Most importantly, a relationship should bring you joy and fulfill your needs. Relationships are suppose to add to the quality of your life, not take away from it. If you have used all the resources available and are still unhappy in your relationship, it is possible that you should end it. When ending a relationship, be gentle, remember how badly you could hurt your partner. Don't be immature or degrading to your partner. Simply explain the situation calmly and then walk away. Above all things, do not fall into the "I will change" trap.

All relationships have their ups and downs. When you begin thinking about ending your relationship, you have a lot of factors to consider. This article discussed some of those factors. Break ups are never easy but if you are unhappy in your relationship, you will feel much better when it's over.

[drtouble]

Several of these pertain to me....the only regret I have is that I didn't end my marriage sooner than I did. It was the best thing I did. I'm in a much happier place now.

[achase123]

Thanks for posting this!

[wrathofkuus]

Am I the only one thinking these are hilariously obvious?

[doriswe]

Aug 22, 2012 15:39:10 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

Am I the only one thinking these are hilariously obvious?

:Y:

[mrsee]

2, 5, 7-14...yup, I think I'm making the right decision

[achase123]

Aug 22, 2012 15:39:10 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

Am I the only one thinking these are hilariously obvious?

You would hope but I stayed in a marriage where there were probably 10/14 of the things (at least) that went on for a long time. Although, I guess when you're in the situation you don't even realize that it pertains to you.

[Deleted]

I agree these are totally obvious once you're out of the situation. But sometimes you need to see things written out before you actually realize what you are doing. This was totally me:

You can no longer visualize yourself spending the rest of you life with your partner. You can only see spending the rest of your life without them.

And I didn't even realize it until now, and I left husband two years ago.

[wrathofkuus]

We should add more.

15. You want to punch him in his stupid fucking face all the time.

[jade28]

I feel like I got pinpointed as the one ending the marriage but what is funny is my ExH hit most of those. He would get irritated at me for every little thing and we definitely had different views of our future. He also never wanted to kiss me. I think he was actually over it well before I was but I was just more honest first.

[achase123]

Aug 22, 2012 15:49:05 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

We should add more.

15. You want to punch him in his stupid fucking face all the time.

How about you get physically ill when you hear his truck pull into the driveway?

Or you agree to go to counseling (mostly because of his behavior and infidelity) and then he shows up 15 minutes late for the first session, and then doesn't bother to show up after that.

[Bernadine]

Aug 22, 2012 15:43:33 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Aug 22, 2012 15:39:10 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

Am I the only one thinking these are hilariously obvious?

You would hope but I stayed in a marriage where there were probably 10/14 of the things (at least) that went on for a long time. Although, I guess when you're in the situation you don't even realize that it pertains to you.

YES! I've mentioned to several friends that when you're in the midst of it, you're in such a haze, it's like you can't see out of it.

[BlueBayou]

How many of us knew we should get out when we were in them. I know I am guilty. But only the one in it can see and sometimes it takes a layout like this for that person to know they are a) normal, b) not alone and c) validated that the signs they see do mean a possible end needs to happen. Its not that "obvious" when you're in it. But its a big poster when you finally do end it. I just wanted to help those that have been struggling recently. Thanks to those who appreciated it. If i could meet those in trouble in person i would.

[usedtobebear]

Check, Check, Check, Check... most all of them, I hate that it took me so long to end things... it's depressing to think about actually... ugh!