Post by thatgirl2478 on Aug 22, 2012 14:52:22 GMT -5
Little boys turn EVERYTHING into swords, guns, etc. I would let it go with the explanation that people aren't for hitting.
FWIW, my brother had all manner of plastic guns, knives, swords, basically any sort of weapon that could be found at the dollar store and he grew up into a wonderful man who wouldn't hurt a fly. I get not being OK with the play violence, but 99% of the time it becomes NBD.
Well if he goes out there he will find a stick or something for a sword. Even though I tell DS we don't play with guns he goes and makes a "shooter". I understand not wanting him to play like that though.
If the neighbor girls are doing something I don't allow, like wandering off behind the other condo buildings without an adult (they are also 4), I just tell them he needs to listen to my rules, a simplistic reason why, and distract him with doing something else.
ETA: I still tell him no for guns/shooters/etc but he is into pirates and knights and has a few foam swords.
Post by barefootcontessa on Aug 22, 2012 14:58:52 GMT -5
I think you are facing an uphill battle. I am not sure how you can tell the older boys what they can and cannot play. I guess try to get your son interested in something else inside the house or backyard?
It's going to happen some day at least that's what I'm learning. I make sure to tell my son that we do not shoot people or animals only targets. As for swords he can pretend and hit the other kid's sword, but he's not allowed to hit other kids or animals.
Call it fencing and stress that it's for sport not to attack or harm?
Ditto this. I just bought DD some playmobil fencers recently (Olympics-inspired). She's into the idea of it being strategic and the fact that swords can kill has never, ever come up.
I would let him play. I was initially not comfortable with sword or gun play either. Then DS1 got to preschool and life became one big light saber battle. It became absolutely impossible to enforce a no weapon play rule, and I started to do some reading and came to the conclusion that there is a downside to stiffling creative play, even when that play includes swords.
We now allow things like foam swords, light sabers, water guns, etc. We do not allow our kids to have guns as toys beyond water guns. They know that they cannot point a weapon at someone who is not engaged in playing a game with them (i.e., no surprise attacks on unconsenting people), but they are allowed to play pirates, ninja, Star Wars, etc., all of which involve weapons. My 5 year old is basically a total bleeding heart, cries if someone kills a spider kind of kid, and I have a hard time imagining that playing ninja with his little brother will change that.
Post by sewpinkgal on Aug 22, 2012 15:28:54 GMT -5
Another vote for let him play and have fun.
A semi-related story: I picked J up from the gym childcare and two little boys were building "weapons" from train tracks. I said "wow! Cool swords!" thinking swords being less violent than guns and was immediately corrected with "no! They're guns!" Well alrighty then.
Post by iheartbanjos on Aug 22, 2012 15:31:28 GMT -5
LOL, I took fencing classes when I was a kid and didn't think anything of buying DD foam swords from the dollar section of Target. We actually had a sword fight last night.
In my classroom and in my home, weapons were never allowed. In my classroom, we had a discussion at the beginning of the year about what a weapon was. I helped the children come to the conclusion that a weapon was something (anything) meant hurt another. Since a classroom is a place that all children can be safe, we would never use weapons in our classroom or recess yard. We have had similar discussions at home, although my daughter is just becoming old enough to understand.
I would wait to let him join the boys until you are more prepared about how to handle it, and make sure that you and your husband are on the same page.
DH does medieval combat (with rattan sticks and armor) and fencing (with blunted swords). DD already has her own foam swords. She's 2.5, can handle them quite well, and has already told her Daddy she wants to fight with him when she gets bigger.
I'd let it go. He's going to encounter kids playing like this, and as long as it's not a full-on battle and/or an occasional thing, I wouldn't make this a hill to die on. They will use their fingers as guns if they want to.
Post by savannah11 on Aug 22, 2012 16:10:16 GMT -5
Yeah, I had to give up that battle early on. DS turns everything into a gun or a bomb or a sword. We have discussed that you would never want to shoot someone for real, but otherwise I let him play.
My kids have made toast guns more than once. And cheese guns. And, of course, Lego guns, stick guns, etc. I am certain that if I left a couple tampons laying around, my kids would fashion a gun out of them sooner or later. And they are more or less never around anyone who owns or uses guns and have always attended schools with "no gun play" policies, so I don't know where they get it.
Post by luvmagoldn on Aug 22, 2012 20:10:14 GMT -5
My boys are really in to making swords, bows & arrows and guns out of whatever they can get their hands on - twigs, Legos, tree bark, chicken nuggets, you name it.
While I get that we need to make sure our boys are learning that we don't hurt people and we use words instead of weapons, I am very concerned about stamping out all things boy.
No war play, trying to suppress all aggression, taking away outside play time when boys "misbehave," all can work to tell boys they are wrong and make them feel badly about how they are wired.
My guys use a lot of creativity in building their "weapons" and I really don't want to squelch that.