If I'm letting my kid go to someone's home I know them well enough to know if they have guns or not. Maybe this will change when he's older, in which case I would ask. I don't mind if people ask us, although my SO is LEO so I'm sure they know that there are guns in the home.
I would have thought the same thing, but recently I went into my IL bedroom and right there was a big old gun case. I started grilling them about locks, if they are loaded, etc. as I was dropping the kids off for a weekend. I have known these people for 13 years and had no clue.
I am in a Moms Club and this has been a hot topic. Honestly, our kids are all little and we would never send them to another moms without us being there, but those hosting events at their homes are being asked to say up front whether or not your home is gun-free. We are doing the same thing for vaccinations as we have a ton of new babies. The gun thing is not really a concern of mine bc, like I said, I am always right next to my kids at this age, but it scares the crap out of me when they are older and off on their own. The vaccination is very important to me as I am expecting a baby soon. Ergh. Tough topics.
My brother just told me last night that he's getting a gun and not getting a gun safe. I told him that I'm not comfortable with my kids being in a house where guns aren't kept in a gun safe, and he just kind of shrugged his shoulders. We grew up in Sandy Hook and our parents still live there (we both live 20 minutes away) - you would think he would have a bit more sense. Guess we won't be going to their house.
It seems like with everything happening lately the whole issue is more polarized then ever. My brother never even talked about a gun until the last year, now he and wife "need one for protection". We went to our kid's dance recital this spring and their BFF's mom said quietly to me that she and I have to go in first to see if they have a metal detector because her husband had his gun on him. Good to know - my kids won't be playing at your house. A couple of people who I used to work with have posted pro-gun/anti-gun control stuff in the past couple of weeks, and these were not people who I would have expected that from. It's so sad and scary to me that this is a question that I have to ask.
I find it's family that is most often the most lax about this stuff. We went to a random great-uncle or something's house once when KHC was little, and the guy was like, "Oh, I left my hunting rifle on my bed," and when I freaked out, he said, "Don't worry, it's not loaded, so it doesn't matter if KHC picks it up."
Yeah. We left at that point.
When my brother said that he wasn't getting a safe, my dad said "well, you can at least make sure there's no ammo in it" and he shrugged and said "we'll just make sure it's hidden". He also said he'll get a safe when he has kids. That tells me that he clearly knows it's a danger for kids, and either doesn't care about his nieces and nephew, or doesn't want us to be at his house.
Recently I've been having a lot more anger and anxiety around this whole topic. Idiots like my brother are the reason we need stricter gun laws. Safes should be required. And if I see the whole "guns don't kill people, people kill people" or "we don't have a gun issue, we have a mental health issue" one more time I'm going to flip out. Those people are morons. Of course people kill people. Of course we have a mental health problem (as in, how we treat people with mental health and the resources available to them). THAT'S WHY WE NEED STRICTER LAWS! Why anyone is opposed to background checks is just beyond me.
cayl I recently shared something on FB regarding needing stricter gun laws. I got two responses - both of which were whining about having their guns taken away (um, no, that's not what I said at all, nor did the post I shared say it), and one person, who I then defriended because STUPID, said that Obama is trying to get America overrun by Muslims. Because, you know, she READ it somewhere.
I haven't yet but have been meaning to after the following conversation.
Me: what do you say if you see a gun? DS: Don't touch it and go get a grownup. Me: Great. What if you friend says it is okay to play with it? DS: Oh, then we can play with it. Me: Nooooo
cayl I recently shared something on FB regarding needing stricter gun laws. I got two responses - both of which were whining about having their guns taken away (um, no, that's not what I said at all, nor did the post I shared say it), and one person, who I then defriended because STUPID, said that Obama is trying to get America overrun by Muslims. Because, you know, she READ it somewhere.
I've come across a lot more people like that than I would have expected, as well as people who think that people who bring up the topic after tragedies are just politicizing it. No, we're just fucking sick of it and figure that at some point maybe a light bulb will go off for more people.
Yes, we ask. As a child, DH was in a house with a loaded gun and his friend, the child of the home/gun owner, was playing with it. It frightened him. So, we ask about guns in the house, as parents.
Our neighbor (a non-gun owner but staunched conservative) told us we should NOT ask and got quite heated at the suggestion. It was very awkward when DH and I disagreed.
AutumnRose25, I may have missed it in the follow-ups, but if the person you're asking says yes, they have firearms in the home, will you let your child play there?
I've only asked once because I knew the dad was a hunter. I am pretty sure none of the other people have them. And even that guy said he keeps it at the cottage, in a safe.
I finally got the courage to ask this today and it felt good!
We got an email stating that a kid came to school with bullets, it was seen by another kid who reported it and then investigated by the cops. This gave me the courage to finally ask because I immediately wanted to know which kid and I realized that it could really be any kid. I think the biggest part of gun safety is to be aware of when gun iarr present at his age (7). I am embarrassed that it took me his long, but I am seizing the opportunity to discuss this.
lurker here. I hate confrontation, so I think I'll be scared to ask when the time comes, but my gut says I should.
My father is a hunter and has many guns (rifles, shotguns and handguns). Growing up most of them (to my knowledge) were kept in a MDF and glass-front case. He now has a true safe, but I believe he still keeps some in the glass case. I don't believe the ammo is stored separately . I have been there several times during hunting season when he has a gun propped up in the corner but "it's unloaded." My nieces are there often, and have been there when a gun was left out. My parents assure me it's totally fine because the gun is unloaded and the girls know not to touch the gun. It infuriates me.
Last time I was home my father decided to show my husband one of his handguns. I walked into the room to see him showing off his gun not 6 feet from my 5 month old baby. I honestly froze in place. I don't remember what I said, I was so stunned, but I do remember that he blew me off saying, again, the gun wasn't loaded and he could "pull the trigger all day." My father then took the gun back to his bedroom - which is not where the safes are kept. My mother said I am uncomfortable around guns because I don't understand them. My husband later on said that my father "flagged" him a couple times during this conversation.
I have thought back on my mother's comment, and the absurdity that MY apparent lack of gun knowledge is what made me uncomfortable. Silly me - I thought you always treated a gun as if it were loaded. That you never point it at someone. That you store it safely, ESPECIALLY around children.
I am DREADING future visits with them for this reason. The aforementioned trip was the first time we brought our baby there (we live out of state). My father is exactly why I believe stricter gun control is needed. He absolutely considers himself a responsible gun owner. However, I could have easily accessed his guns when I was a child. It was my fear of them, and not his precautions, that prevented me from doing so.
I know when I express my concerns and the parameters for future visits they will give me grief. I'm not looking forward to it, but my baby's safety trumps their feelings.
I think it kinda lets me know if they are crazy. I don't think I will have an issue in my area. Most people who have guns have them because of their jobs. But I don't want some person with crazy ideas being responsible for my kid.
I am ok with guns being in the house if stored properly.
Gotcha.
Honestly. I'm more concerned about the people who have guns for their jobs than someone who may possibly be crazy. They are the ones who tend to fancy themselves as "trained so it's cool, I'm a total pro" and are more lax about weapons IME.
Not really understanding your logic; you have more concern about people that carry a gun for their job, as opposed to a crazy person packing a weapon around (haphazardly).. Really?
I don't because guns aren't a thing around here. One friend's husband hunts and has a locker in his basement and I trust that he's responsible with it knowing him as well as I do, but he's the first hunter I've ever met in my life.
lurker here. I hate confrontation, so I think I'll be scared to ask when the time comes, but my gut says I should.
My father is a hunter and has many guns (rifles, shotguns and handguns). Growing up most of them (to my knowledge) were kept in a MDF and glass-front case. He now has a true safe, but I believe he still keeps some in the glass case. I don't believe the ammo is stored separately . I have been there several times during hunting season when he has a gun propped up in the corner but "it's unloaded." My nieces are there often, and have been there when a gun was left out. My parents assure me it's totally fine because the gun is unloaded and the girls know not to touch the gun. It infuriates me.
Last time I was home my father decided to show my husband one of his handguns. I walked into the room to see him showing off his gun not 6 feet from my 5 month old baby. I honestly froze in place. I don't remember what I said, I was so stunned, but I do remember that he blew me off saying, again, the gun wasn't loaded and he could "pull the trigger all day." My father then took the gun back to his bedroom - which is not where the safes are kept. My mother said I am uncomfortable around guns because I don't understand them. My husband later on said that my father "flagged" him a couple times during this conversation.
I have thought back on my mother's comment, and the absurdity that MY apparent lack of gun knowledge is what made me uncomfortable. Silly me - I thought you always treated a gun as if it were loaded. That you never point it at someone. That you store it safely, ESPECIALLY around children.
I am DREADING future visits with them for this reason. The aforementioned trip was the first time we brought our baby there (we live out of state). My father is exactly why I believe stricter gun control is needed. He absolutely considers himself a responsible gun owner. However, I could have easily accessed his guns when I was a child. It was my fear of them, and not his precautions, that prevented me from doing so.
I know when I express my concerns and the parameters for future visits they will give me grief. I'm not looking forward to it, but my baby's safety trumps their feelings.
Holy shit. I would not be able to visit again. His attitude is so irresponsible, I would not risk my child's life just to keep peace with my parents.
I'm like autumn, I have a visceral reaction. Once, we were at a party and a friend of H had just bought a gun and was showing it around. It was in a case and unloaded. This is the only time in my life I've been I the presence of a fun that I know of. I started feeling lightheaded and dizzy and told H we had to go. We never saw those people again, we were both horrified.
I suggest you go read mandapanda's response in the guns thread on MMM. That might illuminate AutumnRose25's position a bit better.
Holy shit again.
Although this reminds me that my Alex's dad was a retired cop and although they had no guns that I know of, his mom lived to tell stories about how when he was working nights and her son was a baby, she kept a handgun under her pillow because she was terrified.
AutumnRose25, I may have missed it in the follow-ups, but if the person you're asking says yes, they have firearms in the home, will you let your child play there?
Why do you have guns? Are they for hunting?
mofongo, I wrote out this big long response to your question, and then didn't post it. I understand penny's follow up about why she asks the reason. For me, I wouldn't be disappointed if we didn't have it anymore. I don't see us getting rid of it tomorrow, but I don't want to be hypocritical here to be all YAY GUNS when I'm finding a lot of what was said in this thread legitimate and thought-provoking and perhaps a call to action. Add in all these goddamn mass shootings, and I'm just not sure where I stand on the issue anymore.
I am not at the point where I can drop off dd yet, but I have definitely asked before. I wait until the kids are tired of the parents and want to run off by themselves and try to slip it in as a joke. I am anxious about how to handle this when she gets older and I can drop her off, though.