6 months. Part of the solution was setting a bedtime for the little one and sleep training her. Even then, evenings were exhausting with cluster feeding and witching hours for both, but it was manageable and predictable.
Post by puppylove64 on Oct 11, 2015 19:24:58 GMT -5
As soon as the youngest could sit up, they started bathing together. That makes it easier, then the whole routine is together and I nurse baby while sitting with ds in his bed.
15 mos.to be ok solo without dying, 18 mos for it to be really ok.
But that's because I had two infants plus J.
I'd say around 4months is when we got into a good routine with bedtime for all 3. Before that it was just hell. There were nights I'd be nursing one, H was rocking the other and J was on the iPad, reading to himself, and walking around for literally 3 hours or more. Hideous, just hideous. Or I'd tandem nurse while H put J down then as soon as we got J down and H would come to help me move the babies to bed all hell would break loose again. Or one would sleep and the other would be up and then they would switch.
So, basically, don't worry my friend. You have got this! Just tell yourself it can't be as bad as what I just described above because there is just one baby lol. Hugs. Bedtime is the worst.
Ummm, maybe 7-8 months? When she got better with solids and I could keep her in the highchair for an hour+. 5-7pm still sucks. I end up doing bedtime solo 3-4 times during the week. They take baths together which helps. Worst case scenario and I can't get it together to get them both in bed on time, I let DD1 watch a show while I put the baby down.
DD2 used to be ready for bed at 6pm which was tough, but now she's shifted more towards 7pm, which is bedtime for DD1 too.
Well my DD2 was colicky until like 8mo & we Sleeptrained at 10mo. I can tell I remember almost nothing from this time except handing DD2 to DH the minute he walked in the door & counting the minutes until he got her to sleep....he paced with her for 1+ hours a night. I thought I was going to have a breakdown...like leave my family. I always say it's easier with 4 than 2 because I have helpers now.
For solo bedtime at 4 months and almost 2, I put DS in his crib with the musical mobile on, then do a super quick bedtime with DD - pajamas, 1-2 books, song and then bed. Sometimes I start reading her books really fast if DS is screaming in his room. Then I do DS's evening feeding and put him to bed. DD doesn't fall asleep right away, but she's gated in her room so she has to stay put. It's not pretty, so we don't do solo bedtime very often, but it's not so terrible - it just depends on how grumpy DS is, sometimes he's perfectly content and other times not so much.
I hope it gets easier soon! I pay for help 5-7 Monday's and 330-630 Wednesday's. DH tries to get home by 6 on Tuesday & Thursday. If he'll be late I put DS to bed 30 min early at 630.
Also, I always found bedtime to be the most depressing time with a newborn. I would sit on the couch and cry when I would think of all the people who got to lounge around watching tv and then sleep all night with no interruptions.
Once DS had a real bedtime (as opposed to just drifting to sleep whenever at the breast and wake up again whenever to nurse), things got a lot easier. I want to say that this was around the 2-month mark. I remember that DD went away with DH when DS was 7 weeks old and that was the week I really got an actual bedtime routine down and played with what time yielded the longest run of sleep before the first wake-up. Without those days of DD being away, I'm not sure I would have been able to accomplish that so early on (since DH is never around at bedtime).
I am solo for about a week per month, and so when dd2 was really little and had a later bedtime, I would just wear her while I got dd1 (4.5) ready for bed. Now that dd2 (7months) has an earlier bedtime, I give dd1 some quiet things to do until I've got the baby down. We do dinner and baths (bathe only 3x/wk) early when I'm alone.
Occasionally it is not so seemless. Most of the time it's ok, though.
I just survived 3 days solo parenting, the kids are 3.5yo DS and 6m DD It involved a ton of screen time for DS, and some crying for DD. But we made it through. 2 of the 3 nights I let DS stay up late watching a movie while I put DD to bed. Then I put him to bed as quietly as possible. The middle day I bathed DS while DD fussed in the RnP in doorway to the bathroom (RnP won't fit in the bathroom). I quickly put DS to bed while DD fussed more in the RnP, then I put DD to bed.
Post by karinothing on Oct 11, 2015 20:30:42 GMT -5
Solo bedtime means DS1 watches TV while I bathe and put the baby to bed. Then after all that is done I bathe and put DS1 to bed. DS1 is pretty good about just waiting for me to be done. It all takes forever though.
Dh was traveling for work M-F so I had to do bedtime with all three right away. Things that helped me were to eat simple meals that require very little prep, early bedtimes for the big boys and babywearing when ever possible.
Also there were many nights I would call Dh crying bc it was sofa king hard and I finally when do the dr for PPD. I will so don't wait if you think you may have it.
At around 4 months bedtime got earlier like 6:30? It became so much easier to put one down and deal with the other. The first 3 months felt like I was feeding one while reading bedtime stories or trying to keep the baby from crying while getting DS1 out of the shower/bath into PJs. It was such a shit show since I was alone about 85% of the time.
It was really hard at first but I remember getting easier around 3 or 4 months once the baby started to be more predictable. I always put the older one to bed first because he was the loudest. It was so hard getting the baby to sleep when ds1 was awake and close to bedtime because he is such a loud kid.
I know H was interviewing for jobs when DD2 was 5-6 months old and I was doing bedtime with 2 solo then. It wasn't the best time of my life but I felt in control.
It was a good 6 months before I didn't hire a babysitter to come over and help me if I was going to be solo at bedtime. It is fucking hard to get newborn down (so much rocking) with a toddler clamouring about.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Post by Queen Mamadala on Oct 11, 2015 22:04:09 GMT -5
I had PPD with all of them. Dd1 was an easy toddler, so when I had dd2 it was just dealing with her being super high needs. She was my most high needs baby, and my PPD was awful, the worst, with her. *sigh* I don't really know at what point things got better. My exH was home, as opposed to being deployed, until she was 8 months. The first year was tough, but not necessarily with two. She was just so high needs that it was exhausting.
My exH was deployed throughout my entire pregnancy with ds2 and until he was 4.5 months. It was a pretty smooth transition. My older two were 5 and 3 when he was born. He was a super chill, laid back baby (I had a lot of anxiety about the first year with dd2. I was so worried he would be high needs as well). We just struggled a lot with working on getting his tongue/lip tie issues corrected and having to EP. That was the most exhausting part. I hated pumping.
My older kids were fairly self-sufficient when I had dd3, so it was a pretty smooth transition.