Would you q

[glitzyglow]

I was flipping through Tinder and saw a guy that ghosted me after I moved here. I was telling a friend I saw him on there and she asked me if I swiped yes. I was like, "Uh, no. He is the one that disappeared!" She kinda of shrugged and said maybe he was going through something or not ready or whatever. I pointed out that he could have said anything but chose not to, but her argument back was that it was just one date and he didn't owe me anything. She said, "What if you both swipe yes this time and then he apologized? Maybe he's embarrassed to reach out first. Maybe he said yes and you'll never know bc you said no." I kind of bristled and she said, "it's been over a year...maybe he changed?"

My friend loves to play devil's advocate, but she did get me thinking. Any thoughts? Would you swipe yes to someone who ghosted you previously after a significant amount of time passed?

[greysgirl]

I wouldn't because trust is huge to me and I wouldn't trust them to not to do it again. This is actually something I have been thinking about. A guy ghosted on me after a few months of dating. He texted me a few months later to apologize and he still texts me randomly. We are both single again and he wants to take me out on a date, I don't trust him though so I can't do it.

[glitzyglow]

Nov 6, 2015 11:25:14 GMT -5 greysgirl said:

I wouldn't because trust is huge to me and I wouldn't trust them to not to do it again. This is actually something I have been thinking about. A guy ghosted on me after a few months of dating. He texted me a few months later to apologize and he still texts me randomly. We are both single again and he wants to take me out on a date, I don't trust him though so I can't do it.

Dating someone who ghosted you is different from someone you went out with one or two times and ghosted, imo. I don't blame you for telling this guy no!

[greysgirl]

Nov 6, 2015 11:30:17 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

Nov 6, 2015 11:25:14 GMT -5 greysgirl said:

I wouldn't because trust is huge to me and I wouldn't trust them to not to do it again. This is actually something I have been thinking about. A guy ghosted on me after a few months of dating. He texted me a few months later to apologize and he still texts me randomly. We are both single again and he wants to take me out on a date, I don't trust him though so I can't do it.

Dating someone who ghosted you is different from someone you went out with one or two times and ghosted, imo. I don't blame you for telling this guy no!

Yea I was thinking that after I posted that it is different. It is possible your guys just got busy with life which is why he stepped back.

[1confused1]

No. There's other fish in the sea, don't waste your time on this guy.

[doglove]

Nope, next!

[redredwine]

Nov 6, 2015 11:39:42 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

No. There's other fish in the sea, don't waste your time on this guy.

This!

[Wanderista]

I'm in the no camp. Sometimes hearing a different opinion is good but I don't agree with your friend on this one. It's a bad idea to get caught up in what ifs and projecting what might possibly happen as pure speculation. In theory, anything can happen but it's what happens in practice that matters. (I had to learn that lesson the hard way).

I don't really think it matters whether you swipe yes or not in this situation. It's your call if you want to, but personally, I wouldn't. I'd keep looking ...

[jigsy]

Eh. If you liked him and thought there was a spark, I guess I would have swiped right, because I do think no contact after one date is hardly ghosting. There are a million reasons why he dropped out, and sure, he could have said something, but really, I think it would have come off weird if he shut it down after one date.

But in the end, like others have said, there are so many other people out there, so I don't fault you for moving on.

[brooke77]

No. There are a million valid reasons as to why he may have ghosted you, but it doesn't mean that you should try again. On to the next!

[Deleted]

[starburst604]

Nope. I would feel like it's saying "we went out and you disappeared but I still like you, swipe yes swipe yes!"

[pandora]

It has never worked out in these situations for me. Too many others on there to meet and I TOTALLY ditto starburst604 's comment. NEXT!

[pinkdutchtulips]

No

I've had this happen to me on OKC. I'll hide them and delete any message sent immediately.

[cuddlyevil]

LOL. NO.

[starburst604]

I went out with a guy a couple of times and he ghosted. Sometime later he messaged me on a dating site, apologized and asked me to go out again. I had been pretty interested so like an idiot I said ok. We made plans, and I was rushing home after work to get ready for our date and he texts me that he had to cancel. No attempt at rescheduling either. I didn't even respond and was so fucking mad at myself for letting him do that again!! A year or so later he came into the doctor's office that I work at as a patient and he looked SO uncomfortable when he saw me. I had to book his surgery and acted like I didn't know him. Lol.

[kcr1972]

NO! I'm going through this now and it was a BAD BAD idea to listen to him again.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't, either. Why start out on a weird/slightly negative note? If there wasn't a strong interest there right from the start, I'd move on. Life is too short to waste time.