Wednesday Randoms

[glitzyglow]

It's so rainy here and the wind was literally howling all night long. Not my best sleep.

I went shopping last night and found everything on my list and I feel like I got some great deals! I'm so excited...I forgot how good it feels to get new clothes!

My colposcopy is at 3pm today. I'm a ball of nerves!

[doglove]

When will you find out the results? Sending good juju your way glitzyglow!

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Good luck glitzyglow!!!

The next few days at work are going to be absolutely CRAZY for me! I have so much stuff to do before I leave for Boston next Thursday. I'm trying not to stress out so I am prioritizing my list of things to get done and I will just plow my way through them. I was so busy yesterday I didn't even end up taking a lunch.

[Deleted]

Good Luck glitzyglow I was super nervous about mine and it ended up not being really a big deal. They had my results back in 48 hours. My gyn gave me an rough analysis of the results so I wasn't surprised when the labs came back. The good news is these procedures help catch things so early that usually you'd just have to do a LEEP at the most, which it's my understanding is about the same pain wise as a colposcopy.

[jojoandleo]

Good luck glitzyglow!

I have been in a bad mood all week and I can't shake it. I don't know why either. I am blaming the dark, gloomy, drizzly weather. Seems fair, right?

My birthday is the Monday after Thanksgiving and I have no interest in doing anything. Which, I am usually SUCH a big birthday person. I usually plan a HUGE party a solid MONTH in advance. I'm not sad about getting older, I just don't really feel into it this year. Then I wonder if I am being mopey for some stupid reason? Like, one of my good friends asked what we are doing for my birthday and I was all, "meh, I don't care." He wants to go dancing so I was all, sure, let's go dancing the Saturday after my birthday, but I'm not going to invite anyone or make a big deal out of it. But then I am a bit sad one of my closest female friends has said nothing about my birthday. Which is stupid.

I think I have ennui.

[glynn]

Wind was crazy all night. The rain has sent in and I forgot my raincoat today. I hope it is not raining when I do my Meals on Wheels deliveries today. I hate sitting in the office cold and wet for 5 hours after.

[bl]

Good luck glitzyglow

I was in Dallas over the weekend with the boy I am dating and it was a really good trip with him, I go back in December. I still don't know what the fuck we are doing though.
I found out while I was there my best friends step dad died unexpectedly and was super sad I couldn't be there for her and I kept not knowing what to say to her because everything feels stupid. How are you? Thats silly of course she isn't well, you know? Anyways so because of my awkwardness I didn't reach out near as much as I should have and it hurt her feelings. I feel awful.

[bg]

Good luck glitzyglow

I had a great time with my friend last night -- I really needed it. And driving home I saw a shooting star. It was really cool. You're supposed to make a wish on shooting stars, right? I did anyway...

[Deleted]

bl stuff like that is always so hard. I use a lot of "I love you and my so sorry" "I'm thinking of you and sending you and your family lots of love" I also throw some specifics of ways I can help "I'm here for you for anything. Whether that's being a shoulder to cry on, someone to distract you with bad reality TV" also doing things like sending gift cards because she may not want to cook, dropping her favorite groceries by, offering to take care of pets if she has them. Dropping by a goody basket of things to take care of her like wine, chocolate, fav bath products if she's into that, etc.

[idahome]

It feels like it's been raining here for days. The weather just makes me want to stay home and read for days.

Work today started off rough. I'm on the HR leadership team and sometimes I feel like I'm not necessarily ready for it. I'm fine guiding decisions, but I'm still not used to being able to make an actual decision for the team. I love the rest of what I'm doing, though. High level, interesting stuff.

I want a long weekend away. Some alone time would be a really welcome thing right about now.

[1confused1]

I don't feel good, but don't want to take a sick day. I'm working from home today but I don't think I can sneak in a nap.

Evidently my xh is seeing a counselor and she wants to meet with me, without him. I can't wait to see what lies and bs he has told her.

[jojoandleo]

Nov 18, 2015 12:32:24 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Evidently my xh is seeing a counselor and she wants to meet with me, without him. I can't wait to see what lies and bs he has told her.

Is it wrong to want an update after this? Because, um, I kind of want an update after you meet with her...

[1confused1]

Nov 18, 2015 12:42:37 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Nov 18, 2015 12:32:24 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Evidently my xh is seeing a counselor and she wants to meet with me, without him. I can't wait to see what lies and bs he has told her.

Is it wrong to want an update after this? Because, um, I kind of want an update after you meet with her...

LOL!  I will update if it's appropriate!  I've met some other people that he meets with at a clinic (he is sick) and it is VERY clear they don't know the history or anything that has occurred over the last 4 years.

[jojoandleo]

Nov 18, 2015 12:45:23 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Nov 18, 2015 12:42:37 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Is it wrong to want an update after this? Because, um, I kind of want an update after you meet with her...

LOL!  I will update if it's appropriate!  I've met some other people that he meets with at a clinic (he is sick) and it is VERY clear they don't know the history or anything that has occurred over the last 4 years.

I don't know what this says about me, but I am always so fascinated by people that fabricate their lives. Like, do they believe their own lies? Are they just compulsive liars? Do they think it will last forever, or just get new friends after so long?

[pinkdutchtulips]

Nov 18, 2015 12:32:24 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I don't feel good, but don't want to take a sick day. I'm working from home today but I don't think I can sneak in a nap.

Evidently my xh is seeing a counselor and she wants to meet with me, without him. I can't wait to see what lies and bs he has told her.

I had xh's counselor when he was in rehab talk to me - very interesting chat. Xh apparently did NOT (surprise) tell them the whole story, leaving out the RO. It was very obvious to me that xh being in rehab was not something of his own doing bc he damn near got kicked out for being well xh (combative, argumentative, defiant, uncooperative, etc.)

[1confused1]

Nov 18, 2015 12:49:44 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Nov 18, 2015 12:45:23 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

LOL!  I will update if it's appropriate!  I've met some other people that he meets with at a clinic (he is sick) and it is VERY clear they don't know the history or anything that has occurred over the last 4 years.

I don't know what this says about me, but I am always so fascinated by people that fabricate their lives. Like, do they believe their own lies? Are they just compulsive liars? Do they think it will last forever, or just get new friends after so long?

Oh he absolutely believes the lies he has created.  He is incredibly narcissistic, he is always the victim.  We have been trying to get him into therapy for years so I will be interested to see what she has to say.

[1confused1]

Nov 18, 2015 13:03:52 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Nov 18, 2015 12:32:24 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I don't feel good, but don't want to take a sick day. I'm working from home today but I don't think I can sneak in a nap.

Evidently my xh is seeing a counselor and she wants to meet with me, without him. I can't wait to see what lies and bs he has told her.

I had xh's counselor when he was in rehab talk to me - very interesting chat. Xh apparently did NOT (surprise) tell them the whole story, leaving out the RO. It was very obvious to me that xh being in rehab was not something of his own doing bc he damn near got kicked out for being well xh (combative, argumentative, defiant, uncooperative, etc.)

I don't doubt that he hasn't told her the whole story.  He keeps telling me to drop the RO, uh no, it was extended for a reason.

[pinkdutchtulips]

I've become a Tinder stalker !

He's a cop ... In Oakland ... nice to see where he's at in relation to my office lol

[pinkdutchtulips]

Nov 18, 2015 13:06:19 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Nov 18, 2015 13:03:52 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

I had xh's counselor when he was in rehab talk to me - very interesting chat. Xh apparently did NOT (surprise) tell them the whole story, leaving out the RO. It was very obvious to me that xh being in rehab was not something of his own doing bc he damn near got kicked out for being well xh (combative, argumentative, defiant, uncooperative, etc.)

I don't doubt that he hasn't told her the whole story.  He keeps telling me to drop the RO, uh no, it was extended for a reason.

mine wanted me to drop the RO too then the judge slapped him w the criminal protective order that was TOUGHER than the RO bc he couldn't play nice w the RO

[glitzyglow]

doglove, hopefully the results will be in in a few days!

My space heater sounds like it's trying to die. Nnnnooooooo!

[1confused1]

One more from me, I just updated the sheet where I keep track of how much money xh owes me, it's over $11,000 :-(

[itsalllies]

for those of you with kids, how did you handle visitation while in your separation period?

[1confused1]

Nov 18, 2015 15:32:11 GMT -5 itsalllies said:

for those of you with kids, how did you handle visitation while in your separation period?

He was living in a motel so I didn't let him see them (mediator agreed ). Probably not helpful for you though.

[bl]

Nov 18, 2015 12:49:44 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Nov 18, 2015 12:45:23 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

LOL!  I will update if it's appropriate!  I've met some other people that he meets with at a clinic (he is sick) and it is VERY clear they don't know the history or anything that has occurred over the last 4 years.

I don't know what this says about me, but I am always so fascinated by people that fabricate their lives. Like, do they believe their own lies? Are they just compulsive liars? Do they think it will last forever, or just get new friends after so long?

YES this!  My father was a horrible liar and I just don't get how he ever thought it would all play out.

@pdx18 thanks for the suggestions, it really is just SO hard.  I think a lot of it was my own guilt too.  She is my longest friend (18 years) and I moved away about 5 years and its been hard even though we talk 1-2 times a day every.single.day.  When she called me sobbing with the news she said the only thing I want right now is you to be here with me and hold me and it broke my heart and I felt intense guilt that I wasn't there to do the one thing she wanted from me.  I sent her a bouquet of the same kind of flowers we used to buy each other in high school, and am sending a care package with lush bubble bars and a kindle gift card, plus just trying to be there to talk now.  I still just feel so bad for my lack of support the first 2 days.

[cuddlyevil]

Nov 18, 2015 15:32:11 GMT -5 itsalllies said:

for those of you with kids, how did you handle visitation while in your separation period?

We kept the schedule that we intended to have when things were final (so I had them on the week days, him on the weekends). It helped to get them into the routine of going to my house or his house. It was still hard, but it made a difference. 

[pinkdutchtulips]

Nov 18, 2015 15:32:11 GMT -5 itsalllies said:

for those of you with kids, how did you handle visitation while in your separation period?

the RO had a custody order granting zero visitation to xh. I had and continue to have 100% legal and physical custody of DD.

[MauMau]

The new kitten is marking territory on my bed. Not cool kitten not cool. This just started this morning. Otherwise there had been no transition problems with the cats getting together. Apparently there is just a literal pissing match for my bed.

Weather is wet and windy. It howled all night and shook the house a bit.

I spent 8 hours wrapping Christmas presents last night. And then spent $100 to mail them today. International shipping can suck it.

[Deleted]

bl don't feel bad! Can you book a trip to go see her soon? Maybe attend the service?

[jigsy]

bl...the whole situation is the suck. You're friend is just extra sensitive right now, so is easily hurt - hell, you could have done exactly what you "should" have done, and there still could have been something else because grief fucks with your head. Just be there for her the best you can and when the fog that she is feeling right now lifts, it will be the good things that she remembers, not the hurtful ones.

[bl]

@pdx18 I already have a week vacation planned for her bday early next year that I can't wait for!
jigsy thanks hearing that helps.