Worst Gift Ever?

[steph96]

My MIL cleans out her house and gives us stuff. One year we got a box full of my H's school work. i did find one cute story he wrote in elementary school, but there was a lot of math homework in there. She also gave us a used candle that she had shaved the drippings off of.

[shostakovich]

Have I already told the story of the year my mom gave H and I a box of (leaking) dry ice?

[junebug]

My 90 year old grandmother likes to give us things that she doesn't want anymore. Sometimes they are awesome family heirlooms, and sometimes it's a bag of crap from her garage. Last year, I got a bag with a heart shaped gold (plastic) frame and some candies. She gave my cousin a furminator that he had given her for her dog. He had given it to her to help with her dog's shedding and she forgot. We had a good laugh over that one.

[wampuscat]

Nov 18, 2015 15:22:08 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

My ex once thought that I sent him a cat hair in an envelope, but I think I've told that story before.

I need to hear this one.

[luckyval]

H's grandmother bought dusty rose chenille sweaters for all the women one year (before I was around). She clearly stocked up because I got one of my very own (that was big enough to swim in) years later.

Every woman in that room pretty much said in unison "That is a nice sweater"

And H got me floor mats for my car and a toilet seat one year 

[Deleted]

This ornament from a BF.  A long term, significant boyfriend.  This was it.

[shostakovich]

Nov 18, 2015 15:57:58 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

Nov 18, 2015 15:53:29 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

Have I already told the story of the year my mom gave H and I a box of (leaking) dry ice?

No, but please continue..

So, my mom likes to give one big theatrical gift a year. This year, she and my dad had visited us in Chicago in October, and there was a heat snap. We did not have air conditioning. They stayed at a hotel, but we had them over for dinner one night. It was hot, we were all sweaty.

/background

That Christmas, all of the gifts have been opened when she tells H and I to sit on the couch and close our eyes. She then sets a box on our laps, and tells us to wait to open our eyes. Except we both start to feel something leaking on our laps, so we both jump up and H like, holds this leaky box out in front of him with a WTF? look on his face. The dog - who had been sleeping peacefully at my feet - has jumped up at the commotion. H is desperate to contain the leak, so he holds the box directly over her back ("to absorb the drips," according to what he told me later - because he doesn't really understand how dogs work). At this point everyone is standing and laughing and grabbing towels and finding a place for the box. My mom, meanwhile,  is very calmly explaining that it's just dry ice - nothing to worry about - and it was meant cool our faces when she opened the box on our laps, to symbolize the window unit air conditioner she is going to buy us once we send her the measurements.

The end.

ETA: I feel like I should add that I love that my mom puts this much love and effort into her gifts. And the AC unit they got us was much appreciated the next summer.

[cabbagecabbage]

When I was 10, my grandfather and his new wife gave me 12 pairs of socks. They gave her grandson a remote control car at the same time. I cried so hard.

[knx9211]

Nov 18, 2015 15:59:32 GMT -5 wampuscat said:

Nov 18, 2015 15:22:08 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

My ex once thought that I sent him a cat hair in an envelope, but I think I've told that story before.

I need to hear this one.

OK, gather 'round.

Backstory: I studied abroad in the South of France.  While there, I met a cute boy from California.  He was dating a girl who was studying there and was from Turkey, so I hooked up with his friend instead. Whatever.  A few years later, my family and I went out to California.  I called him and we met up. Sparks fly, we make out, whatever.  After a few visits back and forth (read: WAY TOO FAST), he decides to move here.

Let's just say it didn't work out. QUICKLY.  He was only here about a month before we determined that this was NOT a match.  So he went back and I stayed in Pittsburgh with my new cat, Eleanor.  He loved her and referred to us as a family.

So I helped him with getting things out of his apartment and.. honestly, I can't even remember WHY I had to send him the key to the apartment.  But I did.  So to keep the key safe, I put it in a letter envelope and then put it in a larger manila packing envelope thing that also had a t-shirt of his that he forgot.  In transit, the key fell out of the letter envelope, apparently.

I received a text a few days later.  "I love you, too."  Excuse me? WTF are you talking about? We just broke up and you moved back across the country.

Apparently, my little shedding kitty got some cat hair into the envelope with the key in it.  After it fell out, all that was left in the letter envelope was a single cat hair.  He thought that I was trying to profess my undying love to him by sending him a cat hair in an envelope.

[luckyval]

Ooh, there was the year that my mom realized she had gotten me a lot more "santa" presents than my sister.

She hid my presents except for some socks/underwear and coloring books. And told me that santa didn't come for me that year.

I still firmly believed in santa, so I was pretty damn crushed. But I sucked it up and started coloring and eventually asked my sister if I could play with some of her toys. At that point, my mom felt guilty and directed me to my stash of presents in the kitchen.

[wampuscat]

Nov 18, 2015 16:10:18 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

Nov 18, 2015 15:59:32 GMT -5 wampuscat said:

I need to hear this one.

OK, gather 'round.

Backstory: I studied abroad in the South of France.  While there, I met a cute boy from California.  He was dating a girl who was studying there and was from Turkey, so I hooked up with his friend instead. Whatever.  A few years later, my family and I went out to California.  I called him and we met up. Sparks fly, we make out, whatever.  After a few visits back and forth (read: WAY TOO FAST), he decides to move here.

Let's just say it didn't work out. QUICKLY.  He was only here about a month before we determined that this was NOT a match.  So he went back and I stayed in Pittsburgh with my new cat, Eleanor.  He loved her and referred to us as a family.

So I helped him with getting things out of his apartment and.. honestly, I can't even remember WHY I had to send him the key to the apartment.  But I did.  So to keep the key safe, I put it in a letter envelope and then put it in a larger manila packing envelope thing that also had a t-shirt of his that he forgot.  In transit, the key fell out of the letter envelope, apparently.

I received a text a few days later.  "I love you, too."  Excuse me? WTF are you talking about? We just broke up and you moved back across the country.

Apparently, my little shedding kitty got some cat hair into the envelope with the key in it.  After it fell out, all that was left in the letter envelope was a single cat hair.  He thought that I was trying to profess my undying love to him by sending him a cat hair in an envelope.

LOL. OMG

[SwimDeep]

Nov 18, 2015 16:08:10 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

Nov 18, 2015 15:57:58 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

No, but please continue..

So, my mom likes to give one big theatrical gift a year. This year, she and my dad had visited us in Chicago in October, and there was a heat snap. We did not have air conditioning. They stayed at a hotel, but we had them over for dinner one night. It was hot, we were all sweaty.

/background

That Christmas, all of the gifts have been opened when she tells H and I to sit on the couch and close our eyes. She then sets a box on our laps, and tells us to wait to open our eyes. Except we both start to feel something leaking on our laps, so we both jump up and H like, holds this leaky box out in front of him with a WTF? look on his face. The dog - who had been sleeping peacefully at my feet - has jumped up at the commotion. H is desperate to contain the leak, so he holds the box directly over her back ("to absorb the drips," according to what he told me later - because he doesn't really understand how dogs work). At this point everyone is standing and laughing and grabbing towels and finding a place for the box. My mom, meanwhile,  is very calmly explaining that it's just dry ice - nothing to worry about - and it was meant cool our faces when she opened the box on our laps, to symbolize the window unit air conditioner she is going to buy us once we send her the measurements.

The end.

ETA: I feel like I should add that I love that my mom puts this much love and effort into her gifts. And the AC unit they got us was much appreciated the next summer.

But dry ice goes from a solid to a gas... I think she just gave you ice.

[SKP82]

For Christmas one year, my step dad's mom gave me a shirt from WalMart that was at least 4 sizes too big. It still had the tags on it. She had purchased it on clearance for less than $2.

She also gave me an Intuition razor that was in a box for a frame. I wasn't jazzed about the frame, and was even more disappointed to realize the box contained a razor.

[sparrowsong]

Nov 18, 2015 14:40:52 GMT -5 wambam said:

My mom gave me Depends once. It was a joke.

We got holiday-themed dish towels. They were pretty tacky looking and we would have used them not in the kitchen, but they were some kind of crazy voodoo towels that don't absorb anything. Like the water droplets would just sit on top of the fabric.

I bought a beach towel like that last summer. It was the dumbest thing. Using it felt as effective as trying to use a plastic grocery bag to dry off.

[shell403b]

I WANNA PLAY!

My brother and SIL are the worst gift-givers alive. ALIVE, y'all.

The Christmas after my eldest nephew was born, we received a foot. You know, the baby footprint made in the paint. Powder blue paint. In a foot frame. This gift was to me and H. A FOOT.

Last year for my birthday, SIL gave me a CARNIVAL-SIZED popcorn machine. CARNIVAL-SIZED. And then, when I remarked that it was too big for our kitchen, and that we ate popcorn maybe once a year (brightly, in the hardy-har-har spirit), she sent me a SECOND one, that was one size smaller. So, still carnival-esque sized. AND made us hold on to the carnival popcorn machine for 8 months until she could come pick it up (and do what with it I'm still unsure).

I could go on for DAYS on this topic, but I have to go pick up my son.

I swear, I never want them to get me another gift again. I've told them I'd like to just do gifts for the kids (birthdays, Christmas, the whole nine yards), and both bro and SIL flipped the fuck out. Well, sure you're flipping the fuck out, b/c I buy the best presents ON THE GODDAMN planet and you want to receive said gifts, LOL.

[shostakovich]

Nov 18, 2015 16:14:18 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

Nov 18, 2015 16:08:10 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

So, my mom likes to give one big theatrical gift a year. This year, she and my dad had visited us in Chicago in October, and there was a heat snap. We did not have air conditioning. They stayed at a hotel, but we had them over for dinner one night. It was hot, we were all sweaty.

/background

That Christmas, all of the gifts have been opened when she tells H and I to sit on the couch and close our eyes. She then sets a box on our laps, and tells us to wait to open our eyes. Except we both start to feel something leaking on our laps, so we both jump up and H like, holds this leaky box out in front of him with a WTF? look on his face. The dog - who had been sleeping peacefully at my feet - has jumped up at the commotion. H is desperate to contain the leak, so he holds the box directly over her back ("to absorb the drips," according to what he told me later - because he doesn't really understand how dogs work). At this point everyone is standing and laughing and grabbing towels and finding a place for the box. My mom, meanwhile,  is very calmly explaining that it's just dry ice - nothing to worry about - and it was meant cool our faces when she opened the box on our laps, to symbolize the window unit air conditioner she is going to buy us once we send her the measurements.

The end.

ETA: I feel like I should add that I love that my mom puts this much love and effort into her gifts. And the AC unit they got us was much appreciated the next summer.

But dry ice goes from a solid to a gas... I think she just gave you ice.

Oh, forgot to add that she put about a gallon of water inside a Styrofoam cooler with the dry ice (to make it "smoke" or whatever), and put THAT inside the box.  She even ordered dry ice online for this whole thing.

[speckledfrog]

Nov 18, 2015 16:13:12 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Ooh, there was the year that my mom realized she had gotten me a lot more "santa" presents than my sister.

She hid my presents except for some socks/underwear and coloring books. And told me that santa didn't come for me that year.

I still firmly believed in santa, so I was pretty damn crushed. But I sucked it up and started coloring and eventually asked my sister if I could play with some of her toys. At that point, my mom felt guilty and directed me to my stash of presents in the kitchen.

Was she generally a terrible mother?  I can't imagine what she was thinking!

[Kit]

My ex MIL gave me a metal rooster one Christmas.

[panicfoot]

My parents forgot about me one year. I heard them in the bathroom Christmas morning asking the other what they got for me. My dad said, "I didn't get anything...you were in charge of the presents for everyone." My mom said something to the effect of, "Well, I bought for everyone else, you could have at least bought hers."

They did give me a stocking that had leopard print panty hose and an orange.

Gifting is not my parents' love language.

[SwimDeep]

Nov 18, 2015 16:17:22 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

Nov 18, 2015 16:14:18 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

But dry ice goes from a solid to a gas... I think she just gave you ice.

Oh, forgot to add that she put about a gallon of water inside a Styrofoam cooler with the dry ice (to make it "smoke" or whatever), and put THAT inside the box.  She even ordered dry ice online for this whole thing.

[mom2twoboys]

For our wedding someone gave a small empty hat box. It was so strange that we started to laugh cry about it.

[luckyval]

Nov 18, 2015 16:22:56 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Nov 18, 2015 16:13:12 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Ooh, there was the year that my mom realized she had gotten me a lot more "santa" presents than my sister.

She hid my presents except for some socks/underwear and coloring books. And told me that santa didn't come for me that year.

I still firmly believed in santa, so I was pretty damn crushed. But I sucked it up and started coloring and eventually asked my sister if I could play with some of her toys. At that point, my mom felt guilty and directed me to my stash of presents in the kitchen.

Was she generally a terrible mother?  I can't imagine what she was thinking!

This was par for her parenting approach. 

[pantsparty]

Nov 18, 2015 16:13:12 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Ooh, there was the year that my mom realized she had gotten me a lot more "santa" presents than my sister.

She hid my presents except for some socks/underwear and coloring books. And told me that santa didn't come for me that year.

I still firmly believed in santa, so I was pretty damn crushed. But I sucked it up and started coloring and eventually asked my sister if I could play with some of her toys. At that point, my mom felt guilty and directed me to my stash of presents in the kitchen.

OMG, this is so mean! 

[panicked]

My ex-mil thought that since we were newly married, we were living in terribly poverty. My ex had started working out and lost weight, which meant *i* wasn't feeding him. So she packed up and WRAPPED all the half open boxes of cereal and crackers in her house and sent them to me for Christmas. She was such a bitch.

[Deleted]

DH gave me an electric litterbox for my birthday one year. In his defense, he said he bought it to try and make my life easier (less scooping) but I still never let him forget it to this day.

[rodeored]

My dad is a pretty awful gift giver, I can always tell when something was picked out by him vs my mom. He has given me a bunch of really weird stuff over the years but the one that sticks out right now is the pitchfork I got when I was nine or ten I think. I mean, we lived on a farm and everything so it got used but really dad, a pitchfork for Christmas?

My DH's aunt gives really strange gifts but you expect it so it is kind of fun. Last year I got a ceramic horse head with a cavity for pens(?) and a bunch of horse stickers. A few years ago she gave me a strainer from the dollar store but I actually use that one, it is a handy size. Last year she gave my BIL and SIL a squirrel made of what looked like a bunch of weeds to help decorate their backyard. I was sitting across the room from them when they opened it and the looks on their faces were priceless!

[mekia]

Some of you may remember, H's aunt sent me sexy lingerie as a gift right after DS was born.

[mekia]

And my grandma gave me a stuffed cat with real cat hair. It may have been taxidermied.

[Deleted]

Last year my h gave me a pair of work gloves. They're gloves they given out for free on his job site, lol. It was just a stocking stuffer, and I got a few other really great things, but wtf.

He was like "well maybe when you're gardening..."

[Deleted]

And then there was the time my grandma bought me a rhinestone t-shirt from one of her cruises. My mom must have told her I gained some weight, because the shirt was like 80 sizes too big. (Ok, it was a 3x, but I was still only a M-L)