Working While Black: My Coworker Called Me Ghetto (Article)

[orangeblossom]

I applaud her for not having an involuntary reaction to reach out and touch someone.  WTH.

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madamenoire.com/603600/working-while-black-my-coworker-called-me-ghetto/


I just started a new job about two months ago. It’s a sales company so they try to foster a lot of team-building activities. Once a month, new hires are invited to go out to dinner with the veterans. These socials are supposed to be times when we share what we’ve learned on the job. But from the two times I’ve gone, people just sit around telling what I call “Red Neck Tails.” During my second week on the job, I ventured out with my team of all White coworkers to a cheap restaurant. Naturally, they were curious about the new Black girl on the team, so they had plenty of questions.



Somehow word had spread that I had attended college. They started there.



“So Mariah, did you actually finish college?”



“Umm…yes, I graduated.”



It was an odd question and I wondered why they posed it to me. But their reaction seemed to explain it.





Many of them looked downcast, before admitting, one by one, that they had only finished a year of school before dropping out.



Clearly, they were trying to compare themselves to me and discover where they ranked compared to the new Black girl.



I thanked God that I had the balls to negotiate my salary during my initial interview. My experience and education proved that I simply deserved more.



The next few after work outings came and went without my attendance.



Months later, they hired another person who seemed to be struggling to adjust to the social structure in the company. Once I found out this new hire was attending this week’s mixer, I decided to tag along just to reassure him that he wasn’t the strange one. His new coworkers, with the exception of me, were just off. Call it moral support.



Someone chose Mexican this time. Amidst tortilla chips, salsa and plenty of refried beans, my coworkers, sounding like Donald Trump clones, starting saying incredibly racist things about Muslims and ISIS. I attempted to change the subject.



Once I did, then they came for me.



To provide a bit of context, my manager is a White man from a small town in Ohio. And now that he makes hiring decisions, he mostly hires his friends, also from that small, predominately White town in Ohio.



One of these men started telling a story of his loyalty and gratitude.



“One day, this man in a bar came charging toward me. It was Steve who came to my rescue. He took a bottle and broke it over his head.”



Amused by the visual, I said, “Oh yeah, Steve does seem like the type to pop the trunk.”



Everyone’s face seemed to light up with intrigue.



Then the survivor, storyteller spoke, “Mariah, you’re getting all ghetto on us.”



I froze.



Ghetto?



He said it with a grin, almost as if he didn’t realize he’d just insulted me.



I swallowed my irritation before saying, “First of all, ghetto is a noun, not an adjective.”



He countered, “Well, it can be used as an adjective to describe a certain type of person.”



“And what type of person is that?”



He stumbled and mumbled, saying nothing.



Quickly running out of patience, I asked “Do you realize that’s offensive?”



You might think he would have too ashamed after a comment like that one. But he wasn’t done yet. In fact, my coworker who now regarded himself as an amateur comedian, said matter of factly,



“I don’t care if I offend the people I call that.”



“But you just called me that.”



He looked remorseful for a moment. But only for a moment. Thankfully, someone else chimed in, shifting the conversation. I sat there in the corner, stewing.



Later, another person at the table asked if we wanted to hear a dirty Jew joke. There’s no need for me to repeat it but know that it included a gas chamber. Just vile.



Amazing how they were talking about ISIS and terrorism but the killing of millions of innocent people was comical.



After that, I got up and walked out.



That same man who called me ghetto tried to start small talk throughout the course of the week but I ignored him.



I have a new rule at work, not only will I no longer attend any of these mixers, I avoid speaking to these racists like the plague.

[summer]

What is she doing with these people? There is no way on God's green Earth! Like there ain't no way I'm going to be the only Black person working for a bunch of outwardly racist people. This sounds like it's a half a step up from a Klan meeting. No, sir. I'll stay over here unemployed.

[orangeblossom]

Dec 11, 2015 17:28:15 GMT -5 summer said:

What is she doing with these people? There is no way on God's green Earth! Like there ain't no way I'm going to be the only Black person working for a bunch of outwardly racist people. This sounds like it's a half a step up from a Klan meeting. No, sir. I'll stay over here unemployed.

I know, right.  I'm mad that he said he didn't care who he offended when he called someone ghetto.

One of the comments had me cracking up, talking about how is her coworker going to be bragging about a ballroom ball,  but call her ghetto.  Um, no sir.

Articles like this, always remind of my cousin being told she looked like a pickanniny with her braids, by a white coworker.  Before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched said coworker.

[meshaliuknits]

Dec 11, 2015 17:19:29 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

I applaud her for not having an involuntary reaction to reach out and touch someone.  WTH.

Right? Didn't even curse him out.

[thejackpot]

I am so tired of stuff like this, just emotionally through. When does this bull stop? Will our kids still be battling these battles?

[iammalcolmx]

Dec 11, 2015 17:28:15 GMT -5 summer said:

What is she doing with these people? There is no way on God's green Earth! Like there ain't no way I'm going to be the only Black person working for a bunch of outwardly racist people. This sounds like it's a half a step up from a Klan meeting. No, sir. I'll stay over here unemployed.

I work with good ol boys. I once had raise my voice when a racist joke about Asians was said around me. They fucking learned that day.   Ditto my girl though, why are we hanging around these people? The bail money I would eventually need cuts into my travel budget. 

[meshaliuknits]

Dec 11, 2015 17:31:34 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

Dec 11, 2015 17:28:15 GMT -5 summer said:

What is she doing with these people? There is no way on God's green Earth! Like there ain't no way I'm going to be the only Black person working for a bunch of outwardly racist people. This sounds like it's a half a step up from a Klan meeting. No, sir. I'll stay over here unemployed.

I know, right.  I'm mad that he said he didn't care who he offended when he called someone ghetto.

One of the comments had me cracking up, talking about how is her coworker going to be bragging about a ballroom ball,  but call her ghetto.  Um, no sir.

Articles like this, always remind of my cousin being told she looked like a pickanniny with her braids, by a white coworker.  Before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched said coworker.

WTF!!!

[orangeblossom]

Dec 11, 2015 17:49:15 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Dec 11, 2015 17:31:34 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

I know, right.  I'm mad that he said he didn't care who he offended when he called someone ghetto.

One of the comments had me cracking up, talking about how is her coworker going to be bragging about a ballroom ball,  but call her ghetto.  Um, no sir.

Articles like this, always remind of my cousin being told she looked like a pickanniny with her braids, by a white coworker.  Before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched said coworker.

WTF!!!

I know, right.  When she told me that, my eyes got so big.  

[skwcm80]

Really? I dare anyone would call me ghetto. I wouldn't touch the person but I can't be sure what I'd say. It wouldn't be pleasant for the recipient though.

[sfy]

Dec 11, 2015 17:46:49 GMT -5 thejackpot said:

I am so tired of stuff like this, just emotionally through. When does this bull stop? Will our kids still be battling these battles?

My DS has already dealt with stuff like this. Just last year, DS challenged this kid about his perspectives on race after the kid asked why DS likes "so much white music." Other than the kid crying, it ended rather predictably with the kid insisting he wasn't a racist and DS pointing out that he never said he was.

[LadySusan]

PS: Today I learned that pickaninny has a racist origin.

[cookiemdough]

Dec 11, 2015 18:46:52 GMT -5 LadySusan said:

PS: Today I learned that pickaninny has a racist origin.

Is there a non-racist version?

[LadySusan]

Dec 11, 2015 19:43:14 GMT -5 cookiemdough said:

Dec 11, 2015 18:46:52 GMT -5 LadySusan said:

PS: Today I learned that pickaninny has a racist origin.

Is there a non-racist version?

I always thought it was a variant of ninny.  I was very mistaken.  Google pulls up an old advertisement of a little black child eating a watermelon.

[redwino]

I'm with summer. There's no way I'd be working with these people. My work social group is all white. I basically stare them down, daring them to say something racist when certain subjects come up. There's one bitch who I've called out (in a staff meeting actually, not a casual lunch)but the other ladies have been cool. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt but I stay on alert because they're friendly with the bitch outside of work so I wonder what they talk about in their homes.

[thejackpot]

Dec 11, 2015 18:33:26 GMT -5 sfy said:

Dec 11, 2015 17:46:49 GMT -5 thejackpot said:

I am so tired of stuff like this, just emotionally through. When does this bull stop? Will our kids still be battling these battles?

My DS has already dealt with stuff like this. Just last year, DS challenged this kid about his perspectives on race after the kid asked why DS likes "so much white music." Other than the kid crying, it ended rather predictably with the kid insisting he wasn't a racist and DS pointing out that he never said he was.

Ugh, just ridiculous. We spend far too much time in these types of situations and it saddens me that your ds has faced the same mess.

[mrsukyankee]

I would never want to work with these racist idiots. I would totally call them out on that crap. WTF?!!

[ringstrue]

Anyone else not surprised this is a sales company?

[laurenpetro]

Holy shit.

[readyin07]

Dec 11, 2015 17:31:34 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

Dec 11, 2015 17:28:15 GMT -5 summer said:

What is she doing with these people? There is no way on God's green Earth! Like there ain't no way I'm going to be the only Black person working for a bunch of outwardly racist people. This sounds like it's a half a step up from a Klan meeting. No, sir. I'll stay over here unemployed.

I know, right.  I'm mad that he said he didn't care who he offended when he called someone ghetto.

One of the comments had me cracking up, talking about how is her coworker going to be bragging about a ballroom ball,  but call her ghetto.  Um, no sir.

Articles like this, always remind of my cousin being told she looked like a pickanniny with her braids, by a white coworker.  Before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched said coworker.

Whoa. I want to know what happened after that. 

[orangeblossom]

Dec 12, 2015 9:54:45 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

Dec 11, 2015 17:31:34 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

I know, right.  I'm mad that he said he didn't care who he offended when he called someone ghetto.

One of the comments had me cracking up, talking about how is her coworker going to be bragging about a ballroom ball,  but call her ghetto.  Um, no sir.

Articles like this, always remind of my cousin being told she looked like a pickanniny with her braids, by a white coworker.  Before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched said coworker.

Whoa. I want to know what happened after that. 

IIRC, she didn't get in too much trouble, if at all.

I think she was shocked she did it. She's not a hotheaded person, but I can imagine being called something like that, can cause you to have a visceral reaction.

[readyin07]

Dec 12, 2015 10:00:29 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

Dec 12, 2015 9:54:45 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

Whoa. I want to know what happened after that. 

IIRC, she didn't get in too much trouble, if at all.

I think she was shocked she did it. She's not a hotheaded person, but I can imagine being called something like that, can cause you to have a visceral reaction.

Oh good! I was worried about her. I would have done the same I think.

[caligurl]

Dec 12, 2015 7:31:06 GMT -5 ringstrue said:

Anyone else not surprised this is a sales company?

I couldn't help but compare my own work environment to hers. My workplace is very culturally and racially diverse, government, union, and all about political correctness at all times. I wouldn't have had a chance to haul off on someone who said something so inappropriate because the unions and HR would get to them first. (I realize her incident was after hours off site at a bar or whatever, just saying.) Even after hours, folks wouldn't say such things, at least not in mixed company, because you would show up to work the next day with all kinds of questions to answer.

[Deleted]

When I was walking in London with my Japanese wife, many years ago now, some young drunk stranger thought it would be funny to put his hands together and bow in front of her while making "chin chong" sounds. So I punched him in the face.

I firmly believe violence is sometimes the answer.

[iammalcolmx]

Dec 12, 2015 17:27:34 GMT -5 @eveer said:

When I was walking in London with my Japanese wife, many years ago now, some young drunk stranger thought it would be funny to put his hands together and bow in front of her while making "chin chong" sounds. So I punched him in the face.

I firmly believe violence is sometimes the answer.

I approve of this message....

[busybodyk]

I have worked in an office that is 99% black for he last 6 years. The company is about 50% black. There is no way that anything like his would happen at my job. At least not in front of my face. I'm HR. But I worry about dealing with them when I leave and go somewhere else.

[katfco]

I would like to start a petition for racist internment camps. Just lock them up.

[summer]

Dec 12, 2015 17:27:34 GMT -5 @eveer said:

When I was walking in London with my Japanese wife, many years ago now, some young drunk stranger thought it would be funny to put his hands together and bow in front of her while making "chin chong" sounds. So I punched him in the face.

I firmly believe violence is sometimes the answer.

**golf claps** I've always liked you.

And let the church say altogether, "I bet he won't do that again."

[cville]

This, luckily, hasn't been too frequent of an issue at my current or former job. But when it does, I'm working hard to speak up more. It's hard to strike a balance between shocked silence and punching someone in the face, but I'm working on it.

[fuckyourcouch]

Man, fuck these kinds of people.
Disgusting.

[iammalcolmx]

Dec 12, 2015 19:11:44 GMT -5 busybodyk said:

I have worked in an office that is 99% black for he last 6 years. The company is about 50% black. There is no way that anything like his would happen at my job. At least not in front of my face. I'm HR. But I worry about dealing with them when I leave and go somewhere else.

This is most likely why everyone stopped LOLing after I got mad about the racist joke made in-front of me. This is also why their boss came to my office nervously saying he didn't get the joke at first. ^o)   I must like I just fell off of the Turnip Truck.