Parents are buying their kids all the wrong toys

[sfy]

Dec 20, 2015 16:09:18 GMT -5 mockingbird said:

Dec 20, 2015 16:04:23 GMT -5 sfy said:

Maybe because I am never ever expecting one of these articles to validate my parental decisions, I dgaf what they say anyway? I'm always surprised about how pissed people get at them, but maybe if I thought I'd done/was doing things "right" (per the "mainstream"), I could work up the energy to get aggravated? I don't know. I just know these never do anything but amuse me.

What annoys me about these articles is I feel like it feeds into an unhealthy trend. IMO kids need to play unstructured without parents. They need freedom and exploration and boredom. Current trends are not helping them develop and they're making parents feel neurotic and inadequate.

I agree with you. My only point is that these articles can only make a parent feel neurotic and inadequate if they feed into them in the first place. I had my kid in college, I spanked, I am probably 8/10 tiger mom and dgaf, how my child "feels" about things is not a priority. No one thinks I'm doing anything right lol. I was going to say old black people are the only ones, but even they would probably talk shit that I always allowed him to keep his door closed. So yeah, no one thinks I've done anything right, there's never been an article of any sort about parenting geared toward me, so they don't bother me. This wasn't said as a point of disagreement, it was just me finally having an aha moment about why people actually care about these articles.

[eponinepontmercy]

Dec 20, 2015 15:42:56 GMT -5 heyjude said:

And here I thought I was MOTY because my 4 year old DD will play with her BARBIES for an hour SOLO.

You are living my dream. Abby acted like I was telling her to pick up broken glass when I suggested she play by herself.

[partiallysunny]

I've been trying to get my kid to play by himself, lol.

I play with him when the activity calls for it. Board games? Sure. Cars? Not unless I want to.

Also, TRU has a huge selection of "no bells or whistles" educational toys.

This article is stupid.

[heyjude]

Dec 20, 2015 17:16:18 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

Dec 20, 2015 15:42:56 GMT -5 heyjude said:

And here I thought I was MOTY because my 4 year old DD will play with her BARBIES for an hour SOLO.

You are living my dream. Abby acted like I was telling her to pick up broken glass when I suggested she play by herself.

It's the whole reason I allow Barbies. Shoot.

[alexis]

I only read to the part about the skills needed to be successful in an office before I lost interest, but she uses her office skills as an example. Did her parents play with her in the manner she is advocating? It seems unlikely since past generations didn't do so and she didn't know to do it with her kid until the speech therapist. HOW DID SHE LEARN TO WORK EFFECTIVELY IN AN OFFICE THEN??

Toys as a means of preparing kids for office work is a terribly depressing idea.

[stephm0188]

I'm kind of against this whole expectation that parents should be playing with their kids constantly. No. Kids learn through play. They learn how things work. They learn how to interact with other kids.

My friend was telling me that she was gluing down all the tracks on the train table they got their kid. I asked her why. "So he doesn't take them apart." I asked why that would be a bad thing. "Because then he wouldn't be able to put them together again and he'd be frustrated." So what if he's frustrated? He'll create his own, and if it doesn't work, he might get pissed, and then he'll manipulate the pieces to make them work, but the kid can't solve his own problem if mom is preemptively solving it for him.

Sorry if any of you are track gluer-downers and I've offended you.

[fancynewbeesly]

Dec 20, 2015 20:18:27 GMT -5 stephm0188 said:

I'm kind of against this whole expectation that parents should be playing with their kids constantly. No. Kids learn through play. They learn how things work. They learn how to interact with other kids.

My friend was telling me that she was gluing down all the tracks on the train table they got their kid. I asked her why. "So he doesn't take them apart." I asked why that would be a bad thing. "Because then he wouldn't be able to put them together again and he'd be frustrated." So what if he's frustrated? He'll create his own, and if it doesn't work, he might get pissed, and then he'll manipulate the pieces to make them work, but the kid can't solve his own problem if mom is preemptively solving it for him.

Sorry if any of you are track gluer-downers and I've offended you.

Reese gets frustrated when her dolls don't stand. My go to line is: I see you are frustrated. Toys are supposed to be fun. If you are too frustrated they aren't fun anymore so we can clean up and do something else. Needless to say she has never chose the cleaning up option.

[omgzombies]

Wait, I thought I was a helicopter parent, and playing too much was a bad thing, because it leaves my child unable to learn how to play by themselves. I though that my job was to let my children have room to be bored and thus use their imagination. Oh look I guess I'm screwed no matter what I do. I think I'll go with the choice that leaves me free to check my email and get shit done. At least then I won't be bored out of mind playing endlessly with little people, while my daughter yells at me because "you're not playing right!"

[omgzombies]

Dec 20, 2015 16:09:18 GMT -5 mockingbird said:

Dec 20, 2015 16:04:23 GMT -5 sfy said:

Maybe because I am never ever expecting one of these articles to validate my parental decisions, I dgaf what they say anyway? I'm always surprised about how pissed people get at them, but maybe if I thought I'd done/was doing things "right" (per the "mainstream"), I could work up the energy to get aggravated? I don't know. I just know these never do anything but amuse me.

What annoys me about these articles is I feel like it feeds into an unhealthy trend. IMO kids need to play unstructured without parents. They need freedom and exploration and boredom. Current trends are not helping them develop and they're making parents feel neurotic and inadequate.

This!!!

[sushi]

Those fancy educational toys are for aunties to buy. Don't shame poor mom.

I didn't read the whole article, but I'm sure it's smug. That said, I do agree that plain blocks are just fine. Fancy blocks probably come with fancy price. No need. It's true that just learning to stack (and knock over) is enough.

Is it really considered special for plain? Probably. I'm making an assumption there are princess blocks in pink at target

[sushi]

It took me to adulthood to realize why I got in trouble for reading by myself all the time. (tacosforlife, an example of how introverts hear their whole lives there's something wrong with them) I'm out of your way, parents, what do you care.

Yeah, my sister wanted attention and engagement. I was supposed to do it so they didn't have to. Even as a teen. Parents of the decade!

[ttt]

Dec 20, 2015 14:31:09 GMT -5 summer said:

And there is still more that parents can do—even without these tools.

Of course there is. There's always more. And if we don't do it, we are ruining society and competitiveness and the economy. It is ALL OUR FAULT because we are NOT DOING ENOUGH. EVER.

I hate these people.

[ttt]

Also

[vanillacourage]

My 7 year old gets in these moods where he honestly expects me to just entertain him and care that he's so terribly booooooorrrrreeeeeddddd. In a house full of toys, Legos, and a little brother who loves to play with him. No way in hell I'm going to feed that sense of entitlement any more than what apparently already exists. 

[summer]

Dec 20, 2015 23:49:23 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

My 7 year old gets in these moods where he honestly expects me to just entertain him and care that he's so terribly booooooorrrrreeeeeddddd. In a house full of toys, Legos, and a little brother who loves to play with him. No way in hell I'm going to feed that sense of entitlement any more than what apparently already exists. 

Preach. Then just sit there bored then.

And then I start my speech, "when I was young my aunt used to watch me every school break. She sat right in front of the TV and slept or watched her stories allllllll day. So I either sat there and watched stories, went on the back porch, or read her encyclopedias AGAIN. YOU have a house full of activities and light, and a backyard. SIT HERE AND POUT, OR FIND SOMETHING TO DO. *end scene*

[vanillacourage]

Dec 21, 2015 1:32:18 GMT -5 summer said:

Dec 20, 2015 23:49:23 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

My 7 year old gets in these moods where he honestly expects me to just entertain him and care that he's so terribly booooooorrrrreeeeeddddd. In a house full of toys, Legos, and a little brother who loves to play with him. No way in hell I'm going to feed that sense of entitlement any more than what apparently already exists. 

Preach. Then just sit there bored then.

And then I start my speech, "when I was young my aunt used to watch me every school break. She sat right in front of the TV and slept or watched her stories allllllll day. So I either sat there and watched stories, went on the back porch, or read her encyclopedias AGAIN. YOU have a house full of activities and light, and a backyard. SIT HERE AND POUT, OR FIND SOMETHING TO DO. *end scene*

I just say (brightly! TM suesue) "Great, I'm glad you're taking a break from video games!  Please bring down all the laundry from everyone's bedroom, then put away your clean clothes that I've already separated out. Next we're going to sweep and mop the kitchen floor...."

[Deleted]

Dec 20, 2015 21:05:45 GMT -5 sushi said:

Those fancy educational toys are for aunties to buy. Don't shame poor mom.

I didn't read the whole article, but I'm sure it's smug. That said, I do agree that plain blocks are just fine. Fancy blocks probably come with fancy price. No need. It's true that just learning to stack (and knock over) is enough.

Is it really considered special for plain? Probably. I'm making an assumption there are princess blocks in pink at target

But if the block being pink means my kid is more likely to explore with it - great.
I sit in the floor and play for a bit. All my kid does is boss me around. Tell me my 'lines' and then pretend with me. I am not allowed any ideas. I make her play by herself. She isn't learning to listen to others ideas.
This article seemed like it was hammering on something
That isn't a problem.

[lilafowler]

I thought I was doing the right thing to tell her to solve her boredom issues on her own.
Lol

[irishbride2]

I actually rejected some toy ideas this year because it would require me to help DD.

Mom of the year. I'm ok with that.

[penguingrrl]

When did kids learning self sufficiency become a bad thing? I've never been a sit in the floor and play kind of person, even when I was a kid. They okay with toys so I can keep the house clean and get things done. I don't know why that's bad.

I also don't hover on the playground once they're old enough to handle the equipment. This article is advocating helicoptering at home just like those parents who try to engage their kids nonstop at the playground. STAHP!!!!!!

[bears]

Dec 21, 2015 6:49:10 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

Dec 20, 2015 21:05:45 GMT -5 sushi said:

Those fancy educational toys are for aunties to buy. Don't shame poor mom.

I didn't read the whole article, but I'm sure it's smug. That said, I do agree that plain blocks are just fine. Fancy blocks probably come with fancy price. No need. It's true that just learning to stack (and knock over) is enough.

Is it really considered special for plain? Probably. I'm making an assumption there are princess blocks in pink at target

But if the block being pink means my kid is more likely to explore with it - great.
I sit in the floor and play for a bit. All my kid does is boss me around. Tell me my 'lines' and then pretend with me. I am not allowed any ideas. I make her play by herself. She isn't learning to listen to others ideas.
This article seemed like it was hammering on something
That isn't a problem.

This is the worst. Don't ask me to play with you when you criticize how I play!! These are the days MH comes home and I tell him I'm in a fight with the three year old because she took all the good duplos.

[irishbride2]

Dec 21, 2015 7:46:24 GMT -5 bears said:

Dec 21, 2015 6:49:10 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

But if the block being pink means my kid is more likely to explore with it - great.
I sit in the floor and play for a bit. All my kid does is boss me around. Tell me my 'lines' and then pretend with me. I am not allowed any ideas. I make her play by herself. She isn't learning to listen to others ideas.
This article seemed like it was hammering on something
That isn't a problem.

This is the worst. Don't ask me to play with you when you criticize how I play!! These are the days MH comes home and I tell him I'm in a fight with the three year old because she took all the good duplos.

DD has SO.MANY.RULES.

[eponinepontmercy]

Dec 20, 2015 20:32:04 GMT -5 fancynewbeesly said:

Dec 20, 2015 20:18:27 GMT -5 stephm0188 said:

I'm kind of against this whole expectation that parents should be playing with their kids constantly. No. Kids learn through play. They learn how things work. They learn how to interact with other kids.

My friend was telling me that she was gluing down all the tracks on the train table they got their kid. I asked her why. "So he doesn't take them apart." I asked why that would be a bad thing. "Because then he wouldn't be able to put them together again and he'd be frustrated." So what if he's frustrated? He'll create his own, and if it doesn't work, he might get pissed, and then he'll manipulate the pieces to make them work, but the kid can't solve his own problem if mom is preemptively solving it for him.

Sorry if any of you are track gluer-downers and I've offended you.

Reese gets frustrated when her dolls don't stand. My go to line is: I see you are frustrated. Toys are supposed to be fun. If you are too frustrated they aren't fun anymore so we can clean up and do something else. Needless to say she has never chose the cleaning up option.

This is the same ultimatum I give to DH when he starts bitching about his softball teams.

[eponinepontmercy]

Dec 21, 2015 7:16:25 GMT -5 irishbride2 said:

I actually rejected some toy ideas this year because it would require me to help DD.

Mom of the year. I'm ok with that.

My mom was talking about getting cameras for DD and two other little girls in our family. I told her that meant I would have to set up the software, upload all the pictures, maintain the photo library, order pictures, and do something with them. Get her a damn Barbie doll.

[readyin07]

Dec 21, 2015 7:46:24 GMT -5 bears said:

Dec 21, 2015 6:49:10 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

But if the block being pink means my kid is more likely to explore with it - great.
I sit in the floor and play for a bit. All my kid does is boss me around. Tell me my 'lines' and then pretend with me. I am not allowed any ideas. I make her play by herself. She isn't learning to listen to others ideas.
This article seemed like it was hammering on something
That isn't a problem.

This is the worst. Don't ask me to play with you when you criticize how I play!! These are the days MH comes home and I tell him I'm in a fight with the three year old because she took all the good duplos.

Omg the fucking worst. I actually like playing with kids and other kids seem to like me for it. Yeah, not my own damn kids.

every fucking thing I do is wrong. I never okay with them as a result. 

I I came out of bedtime the other night in teears bc I asked my DH "do you even know how shitty it feels that i can't even tell a bedtime story without critique?!" Like I start telling a story "oh no, not a story about the North Pole. If it doesn't have someone farting or being shot it is not acceptable." Ok, starts new story. "Oh no it didn't happen that way. It happened this way." I literally walked out like if y'all are better storytellers than y'all do it yourselves. Cue crying. 

[downtoearth]

I do play sometimes, but heck no am I going to always play with my kids or do it routinely. They have brothers so they can play with them. When I do play it's board/card games or make believe, I don't even play "toys" with them then. Who wants to play with a flute and drum set that sound terrible - I don't even want to listen to them when I blow it.

I buy toys for my kids b/c they want them, not because I want them or want to stimulate them. If I want to stimulate them, we go walking, skiing, hiking, biking, camping, etc.