Post by redheadbaker on Dec 23, 2015 10:43:18 GMT -5
It's FI's mom's birthday. We really don't want to call, and end up getting guilt-tripped about how we never come over to her smoky, roach-infested house.
I'm sick of being alone. I like being alone sometimes but this time of year is hard to be single and away from family. I just want a guy to buy me presents. And take me to dinner. And move heavy stuff. And life isn't fair. Because my "friend" who cheated on her husband and divorced in March is already remarried. Like how does she get a new man and I can't even get one? Pity party - I know. I need to snap out of it.
I have these two girlfriends. We met as part of a book club. There was a man in the book club, and when we were meeting regularly, of my girlfriends's husband's would occasionally read the book and come to the book club meeting. At some point, the book club fizzled and transitioned into "lets get together and drink." And even though it just became me and my two girlfriends, the husband would still come intermittently, and then eventually, he just always started coming. He's annoying and I have a much better time when he's not present. Well, girlfriend got pregnant, and I thought, "YES!!!!! husband will have to start staying home with the baby."
NO. Instead, husband and baby come. Everywhere. Twice she has suggested girls night out, only to change the plans at the last minute by saying that her husband wants to come. Since then, other girlfriend and I have tried dropping hints, like suggesting actual 21 and older bars to meet at, and she just always obliviously responds with, "oh well, I'm going to need to eat, so let's go to one of these 5 places" that all conveniently allow kids.
She works part time from home. Her husband has a 9-5 job and a 2 mile commute by bike. She and baby frequently meet the husband for lunch. They have local family. These are not people who have an extraordinary struggle balancing work and life such that she cannot part with her husband and baby for 2 hours once a month.
I'm actually more annoyed with the husband's presence than the baby's. But still. LEAVE THEM AT HOME.
Post by jojoandleo on Dec 23, 2015 10:56:01 GMT -5
Dear job:
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MOVE US TO THE NEW FLOOR WHEN IT IS STILL A GODDAM CONSTRUCTION ZONE!?! WHY!?! We were FINE on the 12 and 3 floor. Yes, 12 and 11 is more ideal, but working in a goddam construction zone with a door that won't latch is fucking bullshit. FUCK YOU!
Dear family:
Stop guilt tripping me about how little time I have for Christmas. I don't really get PTO. I have to make up any billable hours I miss. And my sister was an asshole and got married this month on a goddam cruise ship making me ALREADY miss two days of work that I have been working to make up. So, stop. Or I won't come at all.
Dear Bernie Bros:
You are neither hot, witty, nor the be all end all of knowledge. Bernie is not the fucking Messiah. Stop acting like he has no faults. You are not doing your candidate, or democrats in general any favors by acting this way. You are making me realize why Republicans are so frustrated with the birth of the tea party. I hate you all. Please put tape on your own goddam mouths and just shut the fuck up with your "conspiracy" "not voting" and "Trump would beat Hillary" nonsense.
If you're concerned about your parents being alone Christmas evening, why don't you invite them along with you instead of flipping me shit for not inviting them to my family get together! We saw them this Sunday for Tamale Day, we're spending Christmas Eve with them and we'll be spending New Years day with them. That is enough! i have a family too and would like to see them!
I have these two girlfriends. We met as part of a book club. There was a man in the book club, and when we were meeting regularly, of my girlfriends's husband's would occasionally read the book and come to the book club meeting. At some point, the book club fizzled and transitioned into "lets get together and drink." And even though it just became me and my two girlfriends, the husband would still come intermittently, and then eventually, he just always started coming. He's annoying and I have a much better time when he's not present. Well, girlfriend got pregnant, and I thought, "YES!!!!! husband will have to start staying home with the baby."
NO. Instead, husband and baby come. Everywhere. Twice she has suggested girls night out, only to change the plans at the last minute by saying that her husband wants to come. Since then, other girlfriend and I have tried dropping hints, like suggesting actual 21 and older bars to meet at, and she just always obliviously responds with, "oh well, I'm going to need to eat, so let's go to one of these 5 places" that all conveniently allow kids.
She works part time from home. Her husband has a 9-5 job and a 2 mile commute by bike. She and baby frequently meet the husband for lunch. They have local family. These are not people who have an extraordinary struggle balancing work and life such that she cannot part with her husband and baby for 2 hours once a month.
I'm actually more annoyed with the husband's presence than the baby's. But still. LEAVE THEM AT HOME.
So as the person who got into the family way while several other friends were single and/or childless, I appreciated it when those friends would say flat out, "Hey, we want time with YOU. And while your kid/SO are adorable, we can't get that real time when they're around. So let's plan other things with them included, but you need your YOU time with US. When can we get together?"
I was one of those newer moms who felt guilt (irrational but apparently natural) about leaving my family to go have fun. I was soooooo wrong. She may be in that rut and needs to be snapped out of it. Plus, hell yes she needs to realize her preshus and bang-buddy aren't crutches for her social life.
Post by tacosforlife on Dec 23, 2015 11:16:34 GMT -5
ESF, that totally sucks. Can you try to set something up and flat-out say that you want to have girl time? Maybe suggest something like getting pedicures together and take mimosa fixings with you?
ESF , that totally sucks. Can you try to set something up and flat-out say that you want to have girl time? Maybe suggest something like getting pedicures together and take mimosa fixings with you?
Except the friend might try to find a place that does baby pedis. I say it's time to be aggressively honest with her. She might really appreciate an excuse to get away from her people. Or she might not be normal.
ESF I agree with @nofucksgiven, be honest and if she doesn't change I will bet that when that baby becomes a toddler she will be looking for every excuse possible to leave the child and her H at home.
I have these two girlfriends. We met as part of a book club. There was a man in the book club, and when we were meeting regularly, of my girlfriends's husband's would occasionally read the book and come to the book club meeting. At some point, the book club fizzled and transitioned into "lets get together and drink." And even though it just became me and my two girlfriends, the husband would still come intermittently, and then eventually, he just always started coming. He's annoying and I have a much better time when he's not present. Well, girlfriend got pregnant, and I thought, "YES!!!!! husband will have to start staying home with the baby."
NO. Instead, husband and baby come. Everywhere. Twice she has suggested girls night out, only to change the plans at the last minute by saying that her husband wants to come. Since then, other girlfriend and I have tried dropping hints, like suggesting actual 21 and older bars to meet at, and she just always obliviously responds with, "oh well, I'm going to need to eat, so let's go to one of these 5 places" that all conveniently allow kids.
She works part time from home. Her husband has a 9-5 job and a 2 mile commute by bike. She and baby frequently meet the husband for lunch. They have local family. These are not people who have an extraordinary struggle balancing work and life such that she cannot part with her husband and baby for 2 hours once a month.
I'm actually more annoyed with the husband's presence than the baby's. But still. LEAVE THEM AT HOME.
So as the person who got into the family way while several other friends were single and/or childless, I appreciated it when those friends would say flat out, "Hey, we want time with YOU. And while your kid/SO are adorable, we can't get that real time when they're around. So let's plan other things with them included, but you need your YOU time with US. When can we get together?"
I was one of those newer moms who felt guilt (irrational but apparently natural) about leaving my family to go have fun. I was soooooo wrong. She may be in that rut and needs to be snapped out of it. Plus, hell yes she needs to realize her preshus and bang-buddy aren't crutches for her social life.
This is good insight, and I appreciate it. Next time we plan something, I will find a way to communicate to her that she needs time for herself.
ESF , that totally sucks. Can you try to set something up and flat-out say that you want to have girl time? Maybe suggest something like getting pedicures together and take mimosa fixings with you?
She'd bring her husband to the pedis. They are attached at the hip. The more I think about it, the more I think this is more about him than the baby. @nofucksgiven might have a point about him being a social anxiety crutch, actually.
I need to nip this in the bud before we hit the toddler stage.
Post by tacosforlife on Dec 23, 2015 11:37:26 GMT -5
I keep looking at the little penguin at the top of page 6 and dying inside. I think I may have just found a flight combo that makes this work. It involves 20 hours of travel on the way back, after which we'd have to get from O'Hare to home, but OMG, it would involve Buenos Aires, whale-watching, AND PENGUINS.
She'd bring her husband to the pedis. They are attached at the hip. The more I think about it, the more I think this is more about him than the baby. @nofucksgiven might have a point about him being a social anxiety crutch, actually.
I need to nip this in the bud before we hit the toddler stage.
She would seriously bring her husband to pedicures? If he didn't want one as well? That's weird.
Suddenly I'm wondering if ESF's friend is the chic from Art of Making a Baby. I could see that dude saying, "Goodie, a pedi with the girls!"
ESF , that totally sucks. Can you try to set something up and flat-out say that you want to have girl time? Maybe suggest something like getting pedicures together and take mimosa fixings with you?
She'd bring her husband to the pedis. They are attached at the hip. The more I think about it, the more I think this is more about him than the baby. @nofucksgiven might have a point about him being a social anxiety crutch, actually.
I need to nip this in the bud before we hit the toddler stage.
This would be irrationally annoy me. I love my DH, but no, dude.
Post by jojoandleo on Dec 23, 2015 11:58:46 GMT -5
Yeah, I love MH most of the time, the rest of the time I consider ways to kill him and still be able to collect life insurance. But even when I love him, I like my time AWAY from him. I like being an individual.
I'm losing the last bit of my hearing. I have been deaf in my right ear since I was a child and something has happened - not sure what - to my left ear. Slowly over the course of the past two weeks it has started deteriorating to the point that today, I cannot hear my fingers as I'm typing. I have an appointment with an ENT. But I know I'm going to be told that there's nothing they can do. Hopefully hearing aids will work.
That's not really a festivus. It's just kind of a downer.
She'd bring her husband to the pedis. They are attached at the hip. The more I think about it, the more I think this is more about him than the baby. @nofucksgiven might have a point about him being a social anxiety crutch, actually.
I need to nip this in the bud before we hit the toddler stage.
She would seriously bring her husband to pedicures? If he didn't want one as well? That's weird.
We live in Berkeley. What can I say? We are all a little weird.