I can't remember anyone trying to touch my hair, but people love to touch DS' hair. It's awesome and all but leave my baby alone. He always cries when strangers try to touch him so they end up feeling shitty and apologizing.
Wait what, my westernized ass is from the DRC, and I burn like crazy! Although, my aunties from back home so don't understand my sunblock usage. LOL
Lol it would be a cold day in hell before he put sunscreen on. He lived in Nigeria for 25 years though so I'm sure his tolerance is way up. Though the sun makes him itchy.
I have had a few black coworkers who frequently changed their hair, and if I liked it, I complimented it. One time I remember a coworker got big thick braids put in that went down to her waist. I complimented the look because I liked it, and then asked "does it feel heavy?" Is that kind of a question racist or otherwise likely to make the person uncomfortable?
I don't think so. Braids can be heavy or pull at your scalp. I've never had braids that long before and mine always feel heavy for a few days before I get used to the extra weight. That's not a question that ever really bothered me.
My best friend told me her mom put hot oil in her hair. I touched it because I couldn't believe it. My mom didn't, so she touched mine because she couldn't imagine life without it. We were 5. That's about the last time it's ok to fucking have curiosity about hair texture and touch without asking.
Actually, we may have asked. I have a vivid memory of the conversation but not whether we asked or not.
Not that it matters! We were 5! Adults should fucking know better!
This conversation always makes me think of the "You Can Touch My Hair" experiment.
I found it shocking that it was such a thing that people wanted to touch that they actually have social experiments on it. People, it's hair! It's soft and pretty similar to what is on your head.
Julee Wilson, HuffPo Fashion Editor, wrote a very good piece on the subject:
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Dec 27, 2015 11:31:45 GMT -5
You know? I'm a ginger. My kid is a ginger. People comment on my hair all the time, and my kid even moreso. Not once has anyone touched either of us. I can't even imagine how I'd react if someone tried to touch her.
I had a friend when I was younger who was mixed race, but got her hair from her mom. I touched it once, and she shut that shit down without a second thought. I feel terrible she had to do it, but I'm thankful she did.
I try really hard to teach my students about coded language and microaggressions. I hope it gets through to some of them.