I really just need to get this off my chest. I turned my life around last year and really focused on recovery and made such huge strides towards health and happiness. I was in a great place emotionally, spiritually, financially...basically in every aspect of my life. Then.. last month I was involved in a pretty serious car accident. I had extensive damage to my car and pretty painful injuries. I missed 2 weeks of work, my car has been in the body shop since, and I'm not getting anywhere with insurance. Now, my depression and anxiety have flared up. I went out on new year's day and bought several bottles of wine and have consumed all of them. I have pain medication (percocet) that was given to me after the accident and whenever I start feeling like I want to cut or have a panic attack I take one so that I will go to sleep.
I'm really upset at myself that in the blink of an eye I've completely lost control when I was doing so good. I haven't seen my counselor in awhile so I made an appointment to see her Monday. I just want to get back to the happy place I was in before the accident and am concerned that I've really screwed up this time and that there is no going back.
I reached out to my friends today to ask for their support during this. I also informed my family that I will no longer be discussing the accident with them. Their negativity about the way that I've handled everything has really been a big contributing factor in my depression. I picked up a couple of extra shifts at work to help keep me occupied as well. Hopefully all of this combined with starting back up with my counselor will turn things around.
First of all, it's OK. It happens. You've learned from it and you've already taken steps to ensure it doesn't happen again, like stopping talk of the accident, picking up extra shifts. You've got this.
Second, it's awesome that you are recognizing factors that played into the relapse and how to avoid them in the future. That's a big deal, and it's wonderful.
Third, I'm glad you're on the mend from what happened. What a mess, insurance is a bitch to deal with.