Post by BeagleMama on Feb 17, 2016 12:02:02 GMT -5
Travel, travel, travel!
And, I'll play devil's advocate for TTC length. We got pregnant the first month of trying. So don't start with the thought "oh we'll just see how this goes" unless you're really ready to be pregnant, it can happen a lot quicker than you may think!
Take advantage of being able to run out in the evening for a snack, lol! I don't know how many nights I've been home while H is at work and the baby in bed, desperately craving a donut or whatever.
Do everything mentioned above, but also organize your house and all that shit you've been meaning to do. Organize your pictures. Clean out the garage. Just do it. Make your landscaping low maintenance.
I can barely fold the laundry without "help" or crying baby. I just don't have time anymore and it's way down on the list of priorities. It would make me feel so much better today to have an organized home. I just can't get it done. I feel like I could maintain once I got it there....but getting there is...really hard.
Definitely go on the trip. Lay around and be lazy. Read a lot if you like to read. Sleep in. Be spontaneous and go to a not kid friendly restaurant or a movie at the last minute. I've found that one kid can fold into most plans/travel but it's the lack of free time that's the biggest adjustment.
Post by OrangeBanana on Feb 17, 2016 12:37:18 GMT -5
Take that trip! It's not impossible to travel with young kids but it does make it much more of a hassle. Enjoy kid free travel now.
You could start prenatal vitamins but you could also just use this time to clean your diet up a bit and just take a regular multi vitamin. Prenatals and I did not mix well so I never really took them.
Remember that while it is possible for it to take a long time to get pregnant, it's also just as possible for it to happen on the first try. That was very surprising for me. I got pregnant with DS#1 on the second cycle and DS#2 on the first and only attempt to get pregnant that month.
Go look at yourself naked in the mirror and admire you pre-mom boobs.
And most serious on my list, get good life insurance now while you have time. After we had kids things just seemed to fall to the wayside easier and while this was a huge priority for us it took forever for us to get it done.
That's a good point--you might want to schedule a "pre-conception" appointment with your OBGYN a few months before you actually want to start TTC. Mine checked my immunity to chicken pox as well as rubella, and I needed a booster MMR shot (rubella during pregnancy can cause major problems). She also told me to wait at least a month after the booster to TTC, and at that point I was annoyed because I had already waited to schedule the appt until we were ready. I'm not the most patient.
I am also an impatient person, and am annoyed that I have to wait until next month to see my PCP - she's an internist, and does my annual pelvic exams. So I don't have an OBGYN. BUT, in order to work with the midwife group that I want in my current medical group, I have to have an OBGYN, and my PCP doesn't qualify. So, I have to meet with my PCP next month to get a referral for an OBGYN, then go see the OBGYN, then start working with her plus the midwife group once I'm pregnant.
Phew.
It's a pain but having them require an OB for their patients is the mark of a good Midwife group. So take it as a good sign that you are choosing a good team. As for the rest. Go on the trip, sleep as much as you can, enjoy your alcohol of choice, start your prenatals (6 months is the minimum rec.), if you don't already start doing some light exercise, get a full immunization panel done (I found out after I was pregnant that my immunity to Rubella was gone) but definitely Varicella.
Post by amandakisser on Feb 17, 2016 13:24:28 GMT -5
Oh, and some practical advice: make sure you and your H are both on the same page re: raising a child, as well as division of responsibilities. When our daughter was born, my husband took over ALL of the housework, grocery shopping, chores, maintenance, etc...all while leaving me alone to take care of the baby. He THOUGHT that was what I needed (not to have to worry about anything but nursing and caring for the baby, so his intentions were good) but he didn't realize that I needed a break from that and it caused a lot of tension for us. So just make sure you discuss those things clearly before you TTC (or, really, before the baby is born) so you can get your expectations out in the open. The first year is tough on even the strongest of marriages, so anything you can do in advance will help.
And, I'll play devil's advocate for TTC length. We got pregnant the first month of trying. So don't start with the thought "oh we'll just see how this goes" unless you're really ready to be pregnant, it can happen a lot quicker than you may think!
also, the opposite of this. if it's a year later and still nada, don't screw around with going to the OB for fertility treatments. just make an appt with the RE, they're the experts at getting people PG. we saved ourselves several months of hassle by going straight for the "big guns" so to speak, and any treatment from an OB would have been useless and we'd have wasted time and money.
Post by Alwaysabridesmaidf on Feb 17, 2016 13:29:24 GMT -5
Go on the trip! And go to lots of nice dinners alone. My baby is amazingly well behaved but dinner out is still tough. There is no real relaxing.
Pamper yourself a little. Read books. I read 0 books right now. I listen to books on tape during workouts and on the commute to and from work.
Speaking of the gym. I wish I had lost a little weight before I got pregnant. I was at my highest weight right before I got pregnant and now I have that much more to lose and it's HARD. This may not even apply to you.
Watch all your favorite shows and get caught up. I watch a lot of care bears, frozen and octonauts.
Practical: If you haven't already done it, research your company's maternity/disability policies and any other voluntary benefits you may have. Really understand your leave and your rights.
Post by shostakovich on Feb 17, 2016 13:30:37 GMT -5
Thank you all so much for this, and for telling me to go on the trip. I was feeling guilty about spending the money, but fuck it - I'm going to Copenhagen!
And TTC should be interesting, since H only has the one ball. So I'm not getting my hopes up for an easy conception, but June (or maybe later, so I'm taking prenatals for 6 months?) is when we'd realistically be "ready."
Post by Alwaysabridesmaidf on Feb 17, 2016 13:33:21 GMT -5
((Hugs)) miso, you are not alone. I miss my best friend. We see each other and talk but she doesn't want kids and although we have lots of other things in common, it's hard. She definitely gravitates more towards her friends without kids and I don't blame her.
Unfun: know it's normal to take a year to conceive for a healthy couple and be ready. TTC can be a breeze or a huge mindfuck but many friends have freaked out at month 4 and that's a recipe for misery. You need to continue to live and have fun during TTC.
So much this....which may be easier said than done, but do everything you can. We've been TTC for five months (and it looks like we're moving on to month 6) and I realized early on that I'd become a crazy person. And, no one likes hanging out with a crazy, obsessed person.
And I'll echo everyone else - take the trip!! We went to Costa Rica last year for our "last" hurrah, but we're already talking about a second "last" major trip.
((Hugs)) miso , you are not alone. I miss my best friend. We see each other and talk but she doesn't want kids and although we have lots of other things in common, it's hard. She definitely gravitates more towards her friends without kids and I don't blame her.
I actually have a slightly different problem in that many of my friends have older kids, so we just don't get together because they meet up with parents of children the same age.
My friends without children are actually oddly more willing to come over and just eat a nanny-cooked dinner with me while we all watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. LOL.
Speaking of the gym. I wish I had lost a little weight before I got pregnant. I was at my highest weight right before I got pregnant and now I have that much more to lose and it's HARD. This may not even apply to you.
It does apply, and I thank you for saying it. I'm at the heaviest I've been in a while - partly due to some IBS-related issues, partly because I'm lazy AF - and I toggle between thinking, "come on, get in the exercise now so you can have a fit pregnancy and not have to lose as much weight PP," and "fuck. it." So seeing what you've said above is good motivation for me, to know that it will definitely not be any easier after I have a small human to take care of.
And miso - I appreciate you saying that travel is possible after having a kid. I've actually looked to your posts of traveling with misotiny as sort of inspiration, because there are a lot of places that we've been that I'd love to show our kid one day. I love to travel, H loves to travel, we hope to inspire a love of travel in our kid.
And miso - I appreciate you saying that travel is possible after having a kid. I've actually looked to your posts of traveling with misotiny as sort of inspiration, because there are a lot of places that we've been that I'd love to show our kid one day. I love to travel, H loves to travel, we hope to inspire a love of travel in our kid.
I think you really end up doing whatever you did before, just with another small person there.
Many of my friends warned me that I'd never travel again because they never go anywhere with their kids now.
I asked them, "Well, where'd you go before you had kids?"
And the truth is those people didn't travel much before kids either.