So something bugged me today

[Deleted]

I was at a coffee shop and a pilot was grabbing coffee. One of the workers was cleaning up and told the guy "thank you for your service" and he replied "you're welcome". My knee jerk reaction was that the guy was not being gracious about it. I've never heard someone give that response. Ever. Usually it's a "Thank you" in return. I also realize some times it makes SM feel awkward to be thanked. 

Thoughts? Am I being a douche about expecting them to be gracious about it? I view it as the SM thanking them for realizing their service? IDK. I'm conflicted. I was never in the military. my sister was and I texted her the situation and she just replied "cocky officer".

[meltoine]

I think the automatic reaction when someone says "thank you" is to say "you're welcome". He may not have been super focused on what the guy was saying and just said it out of habit. It's not the most typical response, but I also don't think it's inherently ungracious.

[Smurfette]

P always said thank you. I'm not sure what is/should be said. I don't think I've ever thought about it. When someone thanks me for P's service I kind of flounder and mumble something. I have no idea what to say, lol.

[Deleted]

Feb 19, 2016 13:01:43 GMT -5 meltoine said:

I think the automatic reaction when someone says "thank you" is to say "you're welcome". He may not have been super focused on what the guy was saying and just said it out of habit. It's not the most typical response, but I also don't think it's inherently ungracious.

That's why I said I know sometimes it makes them feel awkward and not able to form a proper response. But he didn't flounder around at all for an answer. meh. That's why I'm torn. 

Like this really affects my life... haha

[meltoine]

Feb 19, 2016 13:47:07 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Feb 19, 2016 13:01:43 GMT -5 meltoine said:

I think the automatic reaction when someone says "thank you" is to say "you're welcome". He may not have been super focused on what the guy was saying and just said it out of habit. It's not the most typical response, but I also don't think it's inherently ungracious.

That's why I said I know sometimes it makes them feel awkward and not able to form a proper response. But he didn't flounder around at all for an answer. meh. That's why I'm torn. 

Like this really affects my life... haha

Well, pilots are also....pilots. So there's like a 2/3 chance he's just an asshole, lol

[Deleted]

Feb 19, 2016 15:24:56 GMT -5 Stan said:

I always say, "yes ma'am (I can count on one hand how many times a man has thanked me), it's my honor." Or "Thank you for your support." If they keep talking about it, I say that I'm lucky to serve and it's been a dream since I was a kid.

Lol meltoine !

ETA: I don't think you're welcome is an automatic asshole response, but I've never said it.

ETAA: I don't think it has anything to do with him being an officer. I find job field has a lot more to do with douchey behavior than rank, at least IMPE.

Agreed. I don't think it has anything to do with being an Officer. 

When I redeployed, we went thru a place with greeters and a LOT of them were vets. Like two WWII vets who I consider hardcore mofos.  I was treated exactly the same as the SMs coming thru. It was awkward yet nice.  It was hard to not cry and nearly lost it while petting a dog (like my first pet in 1.5 yrs). Any who... it was really cool to sit back and watch current members interact with vets and swap war stories. no one said "you're welcome"

[Aquatica]

My H says "you're welcome" and chats with the thanker but it would depend on the tone used to equal douchy to me. Usually I'll respond with thank you when says to thank my SM for his service.

[dcn]

DH also responds with You're Welcome. He is an officer but is not a douche . He also will say something like "it is an honor" too.

[calmcosmo]

I have no idea what my husband says... I've literally never paid attention. And he's one of those flight suited douches that everyone loves to hate . (I don't think he's a douche, obviously, but after 14 years in this world I can honestly say that I've only met a handful of guys/girls in our community that meet that Top Gun stereotype).

ETA: I don't think saying "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you" is outrageous. I'm surprised it caught your attention, honestly.

[calmcosmo]

Stan, we need backstory in the leg scar! Don't leave me hanging!

[meltoine]

Feb 21, 2016 21:47:35 GMT -5 calmcosmo said:

I have no idea what my husband says... I've literally never paid attention. And he's one of those flight suited douches that everyone loves to hate . (I don't think he's a douche, obviously, but after 14 years in this world I can honestly say that I've only met a handful of guys/girls in our community that meet that Top Gun stereotype).

ETA: I don't think saying "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you" is outrageous. I'm surprised it caught your attention, honestly.

Mine is too, lol

I'm jealous you've only met a handful of stereotypical douches. In the 8 years I've known my H, I met.....more than a handful. Most were in pilot training, but they're definitely around lol

[meltoine]

Feb 22, 2016 9:58:05 GMT -5 Stan said:

Feb 22, 2016 0:50:33 GMT -5 calmcosmo said:

Stan, we need backstory in the leg scar! Don't leave me hanging!

It was at a homecoming (MH is air crew) and she had on spike heels. She took a huge step back into me and cut my leg. Blood and all. No apology, lol. She just looked at me like how dare there not be a buffer just for her, and then turned back around to her friends.

Ew! I'm sorry. 

[bina]

Feb 22, 2016 9:58:05 GMT -5 Stan said:

Feb 22, 2016 0:50:33 GMT -5 calmcosmo said:

Stan, we need backstory in the leg scar! Don't leave me hanging!

It was at a homecoming (MH is air crew) and she had on spike heels. She took a huge step back into me and cut my leg. Blood and all. No apology, lol. She just looked at me like how dare there not be a buffer just for her, and then turned back around to her friends.

Wow. That's awful. :confused:

My H is a pilot and usually says thank you for your support. I dont think you're welcome is inherently douchey.

[bina]

Feb 22, 2016 16:14:41 GMT -5 Stan said:

Feb 22, 2016 16:12:33 GMT -5 bina said:

Wow. That's awful. :confused:

My H is a pilot and usually says thank you for your support. I dont think you're welcome is inherently douchey.

It wasn't with his current airframe, it was the old one, so we don't know her at least!

Thank God, I'm having enough of a hard time getting to know the other O wives in this squadron.

[bina]

Feb 22, 2016 16:17:38 GMT -5 Stan said:

Feb 22, 2016 16:15:48 GMT -5 bina said:

Thank God, I'm having enough of a hard time getting to know the other O wives in this squadron.

I'll be there soon enough! An O, and a (E) wife, and I feel like we're friends already! My husband is an O husband, lol!

The e wives here are great, super nice and the only ones at any of the events. I think we're going to get along great, and I can't wait to here about your job as an officer, it'll be interesting to hear about the different services.

[bina]

Pm'd you so I stop stealing the thread

[Deleted]

Feb 22, 2016 9:09:00 GMT -5 meltoine said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:47:35 GMT -5 calmcosmo said:

I have no idea what my husband says... I've literally never paid attention. And he's one of those flight suited douches that everyone loves to hate . (I don't think he's a douche, obviously, but after 14 years in this world I can honestly say that I've only met a handful of guys/girls in our community that meet that Top Gun stereotype).

ETA: I don't think saying "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you" is outrageous. I'm surprised it caught your attention, honestly.

Mine is too, lol

I'm jealous you've only met a handful of stereotypical douches. In the 8 years I've known my H, I met.....more than a handful. Most were in pilot training, but they're definitely around lol

My previous state-side station was where 1/3 of the Air Force's Pilots are trained. perhaps this is where my bias comes into play. 

[killercupcake]

I think H just says "You're welcome." I'm not sure though. I've only ever seen him thanked a handful of times. I think once he said "Of course."

I do know he tries to avoid these situations though because it makes him feel awkward. It was typically pretty easy to avoid while he was enlisted since he never wore a uniform off base and unless someone now sees his veteran plates on his truck, most people don't know.

[Deleted]

I feel super-awkward when people thank me for my service. I usually say either "thank you", "you're welcome", or "that's nice of you to say." I don't think "you're welcome" is at all an inappropriate response when one is thanked for his or her service.

[Deleted]

Feb 22, 2016 19:26:59 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

I think H just says "You're welcome." I'm not sure though. I've only ever seen him thanked a handful of times. I think once he said "Of course."

I do know he tries to avoid these situations though because it makes him feel awkward. It was typically pretty easy to avoid while he was enlisted since he never wore a uniform off base and unless someone now sees his veteran plates on his truck, most people don't know.

I generally don't thank people for their service because I think it makes them feel awkward. I rather volunteer at the USO etc etc. Actions vs words. (ie beyond. the . yellow. r.ibbon).

I thought about you the other day. Did you make those canning jar cakes while your H was on deployment? What method did you use? I'm reading conflicting info. I I swear I'm not a creepy creeper with a spreadsheet

[calmcosmo]

Feb 22, 2016 9:58:05 GMT -5 Stan said:

Feb 22, 2016 0:50:33 GMT -5 calmcosmo said:

Stan, we need backstory in the leg scar! Don't leave me hanging!

It was at a homecoming (MH is air crew) and she had on spike heels. She took a huge step back into me and cut my leg. Blood and all. No apology, lol. She just looked at me like how dare there not be a buffer just for her, and then turned back around to her friends.

Ouch!!! I'm sorry that she was such an asshole about it . 

[calmcosmo]

Feb 22, 2016 9:09:00 GMT -5 meltoine said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:47:35 GMT -5 calmcosmo said:

I have no idea what my husband says... I've literally never paid attention. And he's one of those flight suited douches that everyone loves to hate . (I don't think he's a douche, obviously, but after 14 years in this world I can honestly say that I've only met a handful of guys/girls in our community that meet that Top Gun stereotype).

ETA: I don't think saying "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you" is outrageous. I'm surprised it caught your attention, honestly.

Mine is too, lol

I'm jealous you've only met a handful of stereotypical douches. In the 8 years I've known my H, I met.....more than a handful. Most were in pilot training, but they're definitely around lol

Lucky me!! I've been with my H for almost 20 years (we are HS sweethearts) but I was still in college when he was in Pensacola and he's never been an instructor (he went to Test Pilot School when most do their RAG instructor tours) so I've never been around many students. He also flies Hawkeyes... not the sexiest plane in the Navy. So between TPS ("Top Geek") and Hawkeyes I am just not around the testosterone crazed ones I guess. I am going to my first Tailhook later this year in Reno so maybe I'll come back here and correct my statement . 
 

[killercupcake]

Feb 23, 2016 12:24:48 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Feb 22, 2016 19:26:59 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

I think H just says "You're welcome." I'm not sure though. I've only ever seen him thanked a handful of times. I think once he said "Of course."

I do know he tries to avoid these situations though because it makes him feel awkward. It was typically pretty easy to avoid while he was enlisted since he never wore a uniform off base and unless someone now sees his veteran plates on his truck, most people don't know.

I generally don't thank people for their service because I think it makes them feel awkward. I rather volunteer at the USO etc etc. Actions vs words. (ie beyond. the . yellow. r.ibbon).

I thought about you the other day. Did you make those canning jar cakes while your H was on deployment? What method did you use? I'm reading conflicting info. I I swear I'm not a creepy creeper with a spreadsheet

Haha I did. I can't believe you remember that! It was almost 7 years ago!

I can't remember what method I used, honestly. What are you seeing and maybe I can just say "I did that" instead.

[Beeps (WOT?*)]

Feb 19, 2016 15:14:29 GMT -5 meltoine said:

Feb 19, 2016 13:47:07 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

That's why I said I know sometimes it makes them feel awkward and not able to form a proper response. But he didn't flounder around at all for an answer. meh. That's why I'm torn. 

Like this really affects my life... haha

Well, pilots are also....pilots. So there's like a 2/3 chance he's just an asshole, lol

I was going to say 75% but then realized that my son-in-law is a pilot and not generally a jerk, nor are most of his friends, so I'll have to make allowances.

Just because I dated one doesn't make them all jerks, right? But he sure burned me out on the next ones. Even the super-nice guy that I had no idea was a pilot and we hung out together in the civilian clubs listening to the live bands together. The day I saw him come in wearing his dress whites, I deflated. "Damn, there goes my image of you, K." Took me a while to sort things out after "Tom Cruise" got to me.

"Tom Cruise" was a wannabe fighter pilot (didn't make the cut for the F-series so he got attached to the not-as-sexy EA6Bs.) K. was a RIO (so not a pilot but still, he wanted to be but needed corrective lenses) and SIL flies patrols. Totally different personalities required for each, if you ask me now that I'm older and wiser.

Thank goodness my daughter isn't as stupid as I was at her age. I told them both that I get him in the divorce.

Anyway, he generally simply says "Thank you."

[Deleted]

Feb 23, 2016 19:11:31 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Feb 23, 2016 12:24:48 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

I generally don't thank people for their service because I think it makes them feel awkward. I rather volunteer at the USO etc etc. Actions vs words. (ie beyond. the . yellow. r.ibbon).

I thought about you the other day. Did you make those canning jar cakes while your H was on deployment? What method did you use? I'm reading conflicting info. I I swear I'm not a creepy creeper with a spreadsheet

Haha I did. I can't believe you remember that! It was almost 7 years ago!

I can't remember what method I used, honestly. What are you seeing and maybe I can just say "I did that" instead.

Memory like an elephant. I remember lots of things about the board. The move here and the loss of some major players really slowed the board. I see a method where you wait for it to cool before putting a lid on and then i see where you put the lid on while hot and it helps seal it in. I just don't want moldy cake. I may also add a little rum or something to help keep it moist and... sterile? Haha. 

[killercupcake]

Feb 24, 2016 11:32:55 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Feb 23, 2016 19:11:31 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Haha I did. I can't believe you remember that! It was almost 7 years ago!

I can't remember what method I used, honestly. What are you seeing and maybe I can just say "I did that" instead.

Memory like an elephant. I remember lots of things about the board. The move here and the loss of some major players really slowed the board. I see a method where you wait for it to cool before putting a lid on and then i see where you put the lid on while hot and it helps seal it in. I just don't want moldy cake. I may also add a little rum or something to help keep it moist and... sterile? Haha. 

Yes. I did the put it on while hot and it sealed.

Funny story: after I mailed them to H, I panicked and was convinced he was going to get food poisoning because the cake had eggs in it and it had been traveling for so long. H said he wouldn't eat it to make me feel better but ate it anyway. I found out about that months later. He never got sick. Lol

[Deleted]

Feb 24, 2016 14:54:13 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Feb 24, 2016 11:32:55 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Memory like an elephant. I remember lots of things about the board. The move here and the loss of some major players really slowed the board. I see a method where you wait for it to cool before putting a lid on and then i see where you put the lid on while hot and it helps seal it in. I just don't want moldy cake. I may also add a little rum or something to help keep it moist and... sterile? Haha. 

Yes. I did the put it on while hot and it sealed.

Funny story: after I mailed them to H, I panicked and was convinced he was going to get food poisoning because the cake had eggs in it and it had been traveling for so long. H said he wouldn't eat it to make me feel better but ate it anyway. I found out about that months later. He never got sick. Lol

My fear is mold/poisoning him while he only has access to port-a-potties for 14 hours a day.  I read a lot of people do this and it's okay. I've been fearful for MONTHS to do this. haha. I was offered cake like this when I was there and was all "noes!!!!".

I want to say it's a dependable 10 day travel time now that we are post holidays. I want to do it before it gets hot. So this is my last chocolate package. The author of the hot seal recipe said she tested it on herself and ate it after a month and was fine.  I'm going to boil my lids and stuff and then do it. And maybe keep a jar to look at during shipping times. 

[kpol]

Feb 24, 2016 15:07:48 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Feb 24, 2016 14:54:13 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Yes. I did the put it on while hot and it sealed.

Funny story: after I mailed them to H, I panicked and was convinced he was going to get food poisoning because the cake had eggs in it and it had been traveling for so long. H said he wouldn't eat it to make me feel better but ate it anyway. I found out about that months later. He never got sick. Lol

My fear is mold/poisoning him while he only has access to port-a-potties for 14 hours a day.  I read a lot of people do this and it's okay. I've been fearful for MONTHS to do this. haha. I was offered cake like this when I was there and was all "noes!!!!".

I want to say it's a dependable 10 day travel time now that we are post holidays. I want to do it before it gets hot. So this is my last chocolate package. The author of the hot seal recipe said she tested it on herself and ate it after a month and was fine.  I'm going to boil my lids and stuff and then do it. And maybe keep a jar to look at during shipping times. 

I see the thread has gone way off topic, but thought I'd add in something! I made cake balls (like cake pops, but no stick) and wrapped them in the wilton candy foil wrappers and they made it safe and sound and perfectly fine like 6 years ago. I was too afraid to send the cake in a jar and this was the  alternative I came up with.

[audette]

Feb 22, 2016 0:26:42 GMT -5 Stan said:

Is this an appropriate thread to say that I have a scar on my leg from a pilot's wife? Lol.

I find the jerks to be infantry and engineer officers. Lol. Not all of them of course. Most of our pilots are WO, and I can't hate WOs. They're the best.

I'll never forget when I was a very new army spouse, and DH's BN CO invited me into his office to chat (I think he'd said something to DH about wanting to meet me). He asked me what I did, and I gave the standard elevator answer, which includes the word "engineer", and the guy puffed up and proudly told me he was an engineer, too.

So I asked him "what flavor?", all ready to discuss the pains and headaches of that required thermo class, or learning Reimann integrals and Laplace transformations...  It's a silly way of asking an engineer what _kind_ of engineer they are - typically you hear things like "CivE", "MechE", "SparkE", etc in response, and then you can get on with talking about the joys of engineering courses...

That was the day I learned that military engineers do not necessarily have engineering degrees.  Oops.

[audette]

Feb 24, 2016 15:07:48 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Feb 24, 2016 14:54:13 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Yes. I did the put it on while hot and it sealed.

Funny story: after I mailed them to H, I panicked and was convinced he was going to get food poisoning because the cake had eggs in it and it had been traveling for so long. H said he wouldn't eat it to make me feel better but ate it anyway. I found out about that months later. He never got sick. Lol

My fear is mold/poisoning him while he only has access to port-a-potties for 14 hours a day.  I read a lot of people do this and it's okay. I've been fearful for MONTHS to do this. haha. I was offered cake like this when I was there and was all "noes!!!!".

I want to say it's a dependable 10 day travel time now that we are post holidays. I want to do it before it gets hot. So this is my last chocolate package. The author of the hot seal recipe said she tested it on herself and ate it after a month and was fine.  I'm going to boil my lids and stuff and then do it. And maybe keep a jar to look at during shipping times. 

I did these when DH was deployed. I did the full sterilization on the jars and lids, as if I was canning jams (boil the empty jars for 15 min, boil the lids and rings for 5 min).  And sealed them while hot.  I did not hot-process the jars like I would do with jam, though.

I also made a dense bundt cake, and sliced it, and vacuum sealed the slices.

DH ate it all.  Never got sick.  He's always had an iron stomach, though - things that make me nauseous don't affect him at all...