Post by VeryViolet on Mar 27, 2016 20:03:22 GMT -5
So in the past month. My husband had to move his grandmother to assisted living. In addition to her hating it and the transition not going well this has necessitated him to drive 9 hours one way three separate times over less than two weeks. Leaving me for days on end with life and a two year old. I am happy to do it but fuck it is exhausting.
Then in the middle of all of this after almost a year of trying I get a bfp. Oh just kidding chemical pregnancy. Oh just kidding again ectopic. Oh fuck the medicine didn't work and I had surgery on Wednesday night.
Then we finally had a low key nice Easter. My in laws called a bit ago and my mother in law fell and needed DH to take her to the emergency room for stitches.
I don't know how much more of this we can take. The past year has been rough rough and I keep thinking it has to get better and then something else happens. I also feel like an asshole because we are generally healthy, have an awesome healthy son, and a roof over heads.
Ugh if you made it this far thank you. I think I need to talk to my counselor about getting my meds upped for a bit this is all starting to eat at me and I feel like my ads aren't cutting it.
Post by spitforspat on Mar 27, 2016 20:09:21 GMT -5
Big hugs. Don't feel like an asshole. Those are all shitty things and piled up on top of each other they're even shittier. Feel how you feel. I hope you get some relief soon.
I'm so sorry, that is a lot to deal with, especially all at once. Is there anyone in your husband's family who can also help with his grandma and take the load off of him for a bit, especially as you're dealing with your loss?
Post by VeryViolet on Mar 27, 2016 20:43:15 GMT -5
Thanks everyone I am just so overwhelmed and I worry about further worrying my husband with it even though he would kill me if he knew I thought that. Thanks for letting me use this place as a sounding board.
Also, to answer questions the short answer about if my husband can get family help with his grandmother the short answer is no. The long answer is too much for me to even deal with right now but my ILs are selfish jerks.
I'm so sorry. It is overwhelming to care for aged parents and grandparents. There is no easy way around it. You just have to get through it. The trick for me is taking it one day at a time. Otherwise I'd lose my ever loving mind. Seriously.
Post by happyholiday on Mar 28, 2016 4:53:16 GMT -5
I'm sorry. Being the caregiver is an exhausting, draining thing. Add in a family with a baby andd it's too much. I hope things settle down fir you guys.
I'm so sorry. Why is grandma so far away? Don't your in-laws live near you? When my grandparents had to go to assisted living we moved them to the one near us so we could get to them quickly. Is that not an option?
I'm sorry, that is a lot to handle. Just a dumb question, but is there a reason her husband could not take her to the ER?
Also, the area with the grandma is, do they have a senior buddy program? Not that it takes the place of family, but they have something similar with eh senior services for my mom's city and it makes a big impact on the seniors. Having someone visit them once a week to chat, have tea, etc. It might be worth looking into?
Grandma is here now thank god. It just took a lot to get her here. She retired far away and really did everything in her power to make it so she could stay in her house. We tried to honor that for as long as it was possible but unfortunately it just wasn't feasible anymore. She is now in assisted living about 20 minutes away from us.
Oh and DH had to take his mom to the ER because in the past year his dad who has had bad knees/hips for a long time has become wheelchair bound. He had his hip replaced at the beginning of the year and his having his knee done soon. He seems to think that he will be more mobile after that but who knows.
I'm glad to hear that at least the 9 hour trips are over with. I'm certain that Grandma will acclimatize (we had a serious fight with DH's Grandma and then she made friends and all was well). I'm so sorry about your loss and surgery. That is really too much on top of everything else. Big hugs. You deserve to wine.