Do you care about someone's "number"?

[Queen Mamadala]

I didn't really care when I started dating again. I had men inquire, or the conversation went in that direction, but I never asked. My husband and I didn't discuss our "number," but I have a general idea of his since he only has sex in serious relationships.

I briefly dated a guy that said he slept with 180 women in a span of 18 months. That's a lot of... dates. Like I can't imagine the time involved. He said he'd have back-to-back dates in one evening. *faint*

[jellymankelly]

I don't really care. I have no idea of FI's number, but he was over 40 years old and never married when we met, so
I'd imagine it's higher than mine, since I got married at 23 and was with XH for a decade. If I thought he had been having unprotected sex with randoms for the past 20 years, it would probably give me pause, but I don't care about his "number."

[winecat]

I know a guy who claims to have had over 450 partners. He's in his late 40s but still that number gives me pause. I'd always thought that as long as they practiced safe sex it wouldn't bother me but that many kind of does bother me.

I haven't asked and don't think I would ask because if I liked him, it probably wouldn't be a deal breaker.

[stephreloaded]

I would like to say that I don't care. I have a cousin who has admitted sleeping with more than 200 women. I think there is a number where you just pass from getting around to a womanizer although I have no idea what that number is.

Number where I live is a sensitive topic as women are expected to have a very low number of sex partners but usually men are not held to the same standard.

[1confused1]

I don't care, as long as they don't have a STD or something. Honestly, I don't think I've ever asked someone how many people they've slept with.

I dated a guy in HS/college for a long time who wouldn't have sex because he was super religious, my number is pretty low because of how long we were together.

[pinkdutchtulips]

No and I expect the same in return - wishful thinking I know given the WONDERFUL sexual double standard by men & women grrrr

[jenstar]

I've never asked, and I don't recall ever being asked.. I don't really care tbh.

[housewife]

I've discussed it just because we are talking about other sex stuff and it comes up. I don't know my number, but I have a general idea. As long as their number isn't increasing while we are together (assuming we've agreed to be monogamous) then I don't really care.

[cuddlyevil]

All I care about is if they were practicing safe sex.

[bl]

I don't care about the number. I have been asked before and answered honestly and asked back out of curiosity. It sometimes comes up when the topic of sex comes up, but I am more inclined to ask about safe sex and if they have ever cheated. Those are the things that are more important to me than the number.

[TR]

I don't really care. I've never asked BF and vice versa. As far as who's counting, I only know mine because 11 isn't that many, lol. 11? :::counts names::: Yeah, 11.

[Linie]

STBXH was curious about this and he didn't like my number. I met him when I was 31... (and I lied, lol)

The only answer I give is : "more than one, less than Madonna" (4 weddings and a funeral). I don't care - except when someone is obviously in some kind of sex marathon - and I don't like the question.

[Mrs.Rad888]

I wouldn't care about someone's number, we all have a past, including stuff we hope no one ever finds out about.
I don't even remember my exact number any more. I can say that over the last 18 years, it's only been 4. If my number is really that important to the guy, I'd have to wonder if he has issues with women and sexuality.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Mar 31, 2016 8:40:58 GMT -5 Linie said:

STBXH was curious about this and he didn't like my number. I met him when I was 31... (and I lied, lol)

The only answer I give is : "more than one, less than Madonna" (4 weddings and a funeral). I don't care - except when someone is obviously in some kind of sex marathon - and I don't like the question.

I had an xh who was less than thrilled w my # and I was 26 when I met him. Meanwhile, he spent a better chunk of the 90's sleeping w 3/4 of Las Vegas and thought nothing of it lol

[brooke77]

Don't ask, don't tell.

I really don't think there is an answer I'd be thrilled to hear.

[Deleted]

I rather not know and I have issues keeping up with my "count". I have to think about it and I really doubt a guy wants to sit there while I'm silently remembering sexual encounters with other people in front of him. The people who claim higher numbers impress me because I can't personally keep count like that. I have too many other important things to file away in my brain.

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2016 10:38:19 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I just will forever not laugh at, "the 0 is silent".

Like this is winning so hard in my book.

[glitzyglow]

I would not be with a guy who found it "really important" to him to know my number. My number is my business, not his, and if I care to share it, it's because I want to.

That said, I don't care how many people someone's been with unless they are braggy about it, like women are a conquest or something.

[bg]

Mar 31, 2016 10:44:24 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Mar 31, 2016 10:38:19 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I just will forever not laugh at, "the 0 is silent".

Like this is winning so hard in my book.

I agree, such a perfect response!

I'm more concerned with safe sex than numbers as well.

[jojoandleo]

Nope. I used to keep count, because I thought MY number mattered and shouldn't go above some arbitrary number. I don't even remember that arbitrary number. I have probably surpassed it. I had a list and everything. Now, I can't even tell you every guy's name I have slept with. I remember the good stories, like sleeping with neighbor boy because he was convenient (and was well endowed) until he was my waiter on a date with another guy. Whoops. We have called him neighbor boy for so long, I don't even know his real name anymore. Same with the Australian. We have called him that so long, no idea what his name actually was. But we hooked up because a bunch of guys jumped him at a club for talking to me. (I did not know these guys. They knew a friend of mine and bought us drinks all night-I ASSumed because they were my friend's friend). And his dick was super girthy, but average length. It was so girthy, I was scared to have sex with him for a long time. So he would just come over, go down on me, and go home. lol.

So, umm, yeah, I don't care. I don't know H's number, he doesn't know mine. We each probably don't even really know our own number.

[riverpestie]

My SO's number doesn't matter to me.
DH was over 40 and never married when we met, sooooooo I am pretty sure his "number" is a lot higher than mine.

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2016 10:38:09 GMT -5 brooke77 said:

Don't ask, don't tell.

I really don't think there is an answer I'd be thrilled to hear.

This.  100%.   

[thedutchgirl]

I don't think I do, although I've been with STBX for 14 years, since I was 24. So my number is low. I don't think I'll be ready to date for a long time. I was ready to get divorced, but it isn't and wasn't because I want to be with someone else. I just want to be alone and not have to take care of anyone any more.

And I love "the 0 is silent." Genius.

[verycontrary247]

I don't care.

Personally, I keep a running list just for my own reference. Some people I don't remember their names so it goes under physical or geographical descriptions.

"Guy with red hair and bad tattoos"
"Guy with abs who lives near Trader Joes"

[doglove]

Mar 31, 2016 10:55:44 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

I would not be with a guy who found it "really important" to him to know my number. My number is my business, not his, and if I care to share it, it's because I want to.

That said, I don't care how many people someone's been with unless they are braggy about it, like women are a conquest or something.

I'm in this camp. I've only ever had one dude actually ask me and it was clear after that and a few things that he was super insecure. I've never shared my number hardly with anyone, even with exH and never asked anyone for theirs. 

[starburst604]

Would "I don't know" be an acceptable answer? Because I honestly don't! I'm pretty sure H doesn't know his either. I wouldn't continue dating someone who found it "important to know" - if it's important to him then that means he's judging and fuck that.

[kaneen]

If someone asked me that my response would be, "why do you ask?". I'd really want the dumbass to give me a good reason why this matters. And then I'd walk.

[Deleted]

I would never ask this and I'd never want to be asked. Leave the past in the past. I was with my x for 13 years and never had the discussion and we were both fine with it!

[dancelnow]

I care that it's not 0.

[daisyn]

I don't know my number but I'm pretty sure it's less than my phone number
Also math is hard