Post by winnieandwine on Apr 7, 2016 16:19:53 GMT -5
steph96, If I'm completely honest I think you'll make the decision to leave when you're ready. And it's ok if you're not there yet, but it's so clear to me that you've outgrown him.
You have one life, and if you stay, you're giving up your one chance at a fulfilling, happy, and balanced relationship. No house or messy pet custody issue is worth that, especially at our age.
steph96, If I'm completely honest I think you'll make the decision to leave when you're ready. And it's ok if you're not there yet, but it's so clear to me that you've outgrown him.
You have one life, and if you stay, you're giving up your one chance at a fulfilling, happy, and balanced relationship. No house or messy pet custody issue is worth that, especially at our age.
I know that if I was an outsider I would be telling myself to DTMFA. It's just hard. I just feel stupid that a freaking cookie cake has been such a breaking point.
steph96 I totally get it. ExH totally ignored my birthday and it is what led us to counseling the first time. I was so embarrassed to tell my mom and sister that he got me nothing and that he actually spent the evening working out in the yard and not with me. You deserve better, whether that's with him or without him.
I'm not sure, Pom. They usually do it as a gallery wall and hang 10 pieces together, in which case they do, but someone at the store told me it can be anywhere.
Post by winnieandwine on Apr 7, 2016 17:25:23 GMT -5
steph96, don't feel stupid. of course it's easy for an outsider to chime in. GBCN still exists because we all know *exactly* how to solve everyone else's problems lol.
steph96, If I'm completely honest I think you'll make the decision to leave when you're ready. And it's ok if you're not there yet, but it's so clear to me that you've outgrown him.
You have one life, and if you stay, you're giving up your one chance at a fulfilling, happy, and balanced relationship. No house or messy pet custody issue is worth that, especially at our age.
I know that if I was an outsider I would be telling myself to DTMFA. It's just hard. I just feel stupid that a freaking cookie cake has been such a breaking point.
There's always a breaking point. Usually the breaking point feels stupid and petty compared to all the other shit that leads up to it. My exH cheated; abused me physically, financially, emotionally and psychologically; trashed the house; etc. You would think the pictures of him with the other woman, or one of the rapes or beating, or something dramatic would have been the final straw but I stayed through that and kept trying to work on things in counselling. One day after he lied for the umpteenth time about doing the stuff he was supposed to for counselling. I finally agreed to the counsellor's advice for a trial separation. That's what really let me see what not living constantly on egg shells could be like and it wasn't until he came back unexpectedly right before my surgery that I knew. I knew even before he tried to rip my incision open and surgical drain out the next day.
I know you situation is different and only you can make choices for your own life. You'll do what's right for you when you are ready. I just hope you can skip some of the scars and pain. 26 is young and you have so much to look forward to. Know that we're here to support you.
Hugs, steph96. I know that is so hard, but as the saying goes, it was only a straw that broke the camel's back. You're young, you're a freaking CPA (I know you can't actually say that, but you're thisclose) and you deserve someone that values you and your relationship. I wish you lots of courage.
Hugs from me too steph96. I know I've posted about some ups and downs in my own marriage recently, and I KNOW all the thoughts running through your head aren't easy to address.
You have so many goals for yourself personally and professionally, and your husband doesn't seem supportive. In fact, from the outside, he seems detrimental to your success. I can think of numerous times he caused stress for you during your test preparation, his lack of ability to keep his family drama out of your marriage is concerning, and letting your birthday go unacknowledged is sad.
I am NOT trying to pile on, and based on some things I've posted, I hope this doesn't come off as me being hypocritical. I am working on addressing some similar issues in my own marriage.
I'm not sure what advice I have, other than to consider all your options, even the scary ones. Maybe when you start to stare down some of the scary ones, they won't be so scary anymore. Houses can be sold. At the end of the day, it's only money. Happiness is worth more than that. Losing the dogs would be gut wrenching, but...dogs have short lifetimes and you can rescue more (and this is coming from a crazy cat lady).
I'm not advising you to leave; only you can make that decision. However, I am advising you to find happiness, either with him or without him. You passed that crazy test, you've survived crazy bosses and coworkers, and you deserve happiness in your own home!