When did you take off your rings?

[Deleted]

I'm dealing with a recent separation and trying to figure out when the "right" time is to take off my rings. I know it's different for everybody but am just curious - when did YOU take yours off? Did you waffle and put them back on?

[bl]

The day he moved out. Within a month or two I traded in the engagement ring for diamond earrings. I adored and picked out the wedding band and think it's gorgeous, so I kept it and still wear it as a right hand ring sometimes. It has absolutely no meaning to me.

[arielroux]

Once we decided that we were NOT going to go to counseling to try to work it out. When we first split, we said we'd go to counseling. About a week after that, I found out he had be seeing someone from his work for about two months, soooo...that ended that.

But really, once I knew for sure I was done, I stopped wearing my rings. Strangely, he wore his for a few more weeks. I honestly have no idea why.

[arielroux]

Also, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's ok to waffle, and it's ok to not be sure what you want to do right now. What's right for you today may not feel right tomorrow, and that's ok too.

[thedutchgirl]

I took mine off the day I didn't go home. I'd said I wanted a divorce and STBX got volatile. I went to work that day and didn't go home that night. I moved stuff out that weekend. (I'll be back in the house eventually.)

He kept wearing his, although he may have stopped now. I'm not trying to see anyone else, but I also don't feel or want to be married any more.

It is perfectly understandable to waffle. Whenever feels right for you is what is right.

[tevagirl]

I wasn't wearing mine when he told me he was filing for divorce, I'd just gotten up on a Saturday morning. I never put them back on, I gave them to my mom and she still has them. I saw them at her house about 6 months ago and even though I'm happy not to be married to him anymore it made me sad to see them.

[Deleted]

About two days after I left. In a cruel twist, my fingers swelled up and they got stuck for a bit. I have never felt such relief as taking those suckers off.

[sweetchix]

3 years before I filed. But, I had taken them off when I was pregnant with DD2 because of my hands swelling. Then I couldn't get them back on due to my weight gain, so I rarely ever wore them after that.

[glitzyglow]

The day I filed for divorce.

[lemons]

I moved them to my right hand 3 months after H died. Around Christmas time, I was talking to a widower about rings and before the end of December, I decided to take them off. I sometimes wear the wedding band or anniversary band but not daily.

[sessy]

Literally the day I decided it was over.

[pinkdutchtulips]

i took mine off the day i left. i vowed never to wear them again bc what they meant was SHATTERED.

the 2 times i visited xh in rehab (more for dd than me) i wore just my band.

for about a year after i left, i wore a CZ XOXO ring on my left hand to keep guys away bc i wasn't ready to date and figured something that looks like a wedding ring will keep them away. when i was ready to date again, that ring came off too.

now i don't wear them period.

[alleinesein]

Mine came off in 2011 when I was going to the gym 4-6 times a week. The first place I lose weight is in my hands and my rings were falling off so I just quit wearing them.

[itsmyparty]

I started losing a lot of weight a little more than a year ago, so I had to take off my engagement ring because it was literally sliding off my finger and I was afraid I'd lose it. My wedding band is a little smaller, so I kept it on my ring finger until sometime after I filed for divorce and served him with papers; I can't recall exactly what day I moved it from that finger to my middle finger, which is where it sits today. I just haven't been ready to take it off completely, probably because I'm still technically married and want to kindof send that message to others (and myself)...to me it's pretty obviously a wedding band, so I'm hoping men in particular take the hint.

As I get closer to the divorce being finalized I'm starting to think about re-purposing my rings. Thing is, I really love both of them, and I've been tempted to just move them to my right hand...but they'll always be my engagement and wedding rings, so it's probably not best for my emotional health to keep wearing them. But until I figure it out, and time passes, wounds heal, etc, I'm not going to do anything with them. And that's OK.

[1confused1]

We separated 3 or 4 times. It was after the last time and then I filed that I took them off.

[Linie]

I'm still wearing my wedding band because I love it as a ring and will keep wearing it. It has no emotional meaning to me. I never got an engagement ring and STBXH never wore his wedding band.

Here, people do not notice it that it is a wedding band.

[housewife]

I stopped wearing mine 3 years prior to seperation because a stone fell out of the band and he didn't want to get it fixed. He took his off the night I told him I was done and promptly made sure all of his Instagram, twitter, etc accounts said he was single.

[doglove]

When we separated, we still lived together for 4-5 weeks until the house sold. I think I actually kept them on through most of that time. I think it was about a week before he moved out that I took them off.

[FormerlyRR]

I took mine off the minute he said he wanted a divorce, right in front of him. The next time I visited my parents I had my dad put them in his safe, and didn't look at them again for a few years. When my dad got them out to ask me what to do, I didn't even recognize them. Eventually I gave them to my late H to sell.
About a year later, we were near the store that bought them and we went in and they were still there. The center stone was gone, and I asked to try it on. The salesperson said "it's a very small size, it probably won't fit" LOL. Fit perfectly.

[jojoandleo]

I was just engaged, but we went back and forth. So, I waffled. I took it off when I was pissed and like, "Okay, we are NEVER getting back together." Then put it back on when he was sweet and I was all, "We are totally going to work this out!" I took it off for good after about a month of therapy when I realized how much he lied. When I stopped believing those lies and had to admit he cheated on me the entire time we were together.

[bg]

Apr 18, 2016 23:07:00 GMT -5 sessy said:

Literally the day I decided it was over.

Same here.

[esdreturns]

The day I filed for divorce. I think it's completely okay to waffle. You'll know when you are ready to take them off.

[greysgirl]

Way before I even filed for divorce. I knew it was over for a long time and didn't like to look at my rings.

[glynn]

Not sure but I wore my engagement ring longer than my wedding band. I found his and have been wearing his thick band as a thumb ring since June so a month in. I keep moving a emerald ring I have had for years to me left hand since I have a obvious mark on my finger were my rings were. I can’t figure out how to get rid of the mark on my finger and people think I am married still when I wear the other ring on my left.

[kanga1]

Apr 18, 2016 22:24:58 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

3 years before I filed. But, I had taken them off when I was pregnant with DD2 because of my hands swelling. Then I couldn't get them back on due to my weight gain, so I rarely ever wore them after that.

This was my story! But with my one and only DD. When I got my firebox back where I kept the ring while I was going through my divorce it felt so strange to put it on and have it actually fit as I hadn't worn it in years! (lost a ton of weight while going through my divorce)

[Deleted]

I can't remember. likely within a few weeks of deciding to divorce but living together. I remember it felt weird to be ring-less so I wore a random ring on my finger so I would stop feeling like something was missing and slowly stopped wearing that ring.
I have tendinitis in my right hand and it's uncomfortable to wear rings on it so if I do wear rings it is on my left hand. I have a plain-ish band that people assume I'm married when I wear it.

glynn, sunless face tanning lotion (like jergens) will bridge the gap between no tan line and allowing the finger to tan naturally...

[glynn]

Apr 19, 2016 16:23:02 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

I can't remember. likely within a few weeks of deciding to divorce but living together. I remember it felt weird to be ring-less so I wore a random ring on my finger so I would stop feeling like something was missing and slowly stopped wearing that ring.
I have tendinitis in my right hand and it's uncomfortable to wear rings on it so if I do wear rings it is on my left hand. I have a plain-ish band that people assume I'm married when I wear it.

glynn , sunless face tanning lotion (like jergens) will bridge the gap between no tan line and allowing the finger to tan naturally...

I wish that was all that it was. I had gained weight and now lost it. For years I could not get my rights off. I am afraid it is not ever going away. I had another ring I wore on my pointer finger that I lost the big center stone in years ago and I can still see were it was sometimes and it was not tight on my finger...

[Deleted]

A little longer than I wanted bc he didn't want anyone to know or question. But we're only talking about maybe a month bc everything happened so fast.

I sold it within 3 days of moving out.

[Mrs.Rad888]

The day I was done. He didn't know for a few months, because I was on a deployment. I told him about a week before I got home that he needed to find somewhere else to live by the time I got home.

[jenstar]

I literally have no memory of when I decided to do it.. It was probably sometime within the 3 months between when we separated and when DS and I moved out. I should work out what to do with them all..