New Relationship....Advice. All signs say no!

[jojoandleo]

Apr 21, 2016 15:21:01 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Apr 21, 2016 11:46:50 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Frankly, I don't care if it is MUD. You don't get a gold medal for calling out the fakes. People seriously make these horrible decisions. We have seen it from known posters on here time and time again. So even if it IS MUD, the advice may help someone else.

I seriously don't understand the joy people get in calling MUD. Who gives a fuck? Everything anyone ever says on here could be MUD.  At least I am entertained.

What?  I wasn't looking for a gold medal.  But 3 pages of the same advice, followed with more of this crazy story?  Sure, I hope it helped someone, but I don't have to believe it's true.

 Why post anything then?  Ignore it.

[pandora]

Apr 21, 2016 12:15:56 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

Sadly, this is not MUD. My parents were great parents, I always had everything I always wanted. Neither did drugs/alcohol, or any other type of issues.

I did not talk to him yesterday and he texted me today asking if I was mad at him.

You need to step back, reread the advice here and cease all contact with him. You don't need to respond, you don't need to respond. You need to get yourself healthy. You're definitely not if you have even entertained this after that first night of urine. He is single because other women noted that he is a toxic, unhealthy mess and kept their own lives healthy WITHOUT HIM IN IT. He is divorced for a reason and I'm sure her life was hell trying to fix him too. Learn from this, get into counseling and work on getting healthy before considering dating anytime soon. I took a full year off and worked on myself - got to know who I was, improved myself and rebuilt my own life before even considering bringing the inevitable rollercoaster of dating into my life. Do this if you even want to find happiness in your life. The path that you're on isn't leading to happiness so get off before you continue down the rabbit hole and crash and burn yourself. You need to respect yourself first. If you think you're the first person who has tried to "fix" him you are sadly mistaken. It's on him just as it's on you to get healthy yourself. Do it! 

[blueowl]

Apr 20, 2016 13:17:22 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

I'm just going to take some time off and see how it goes. If he doesn't put forth any effort, I'm done.

How are you not done already?

[jellymankelly]

Apr 21, 2016 13:29:38 GMT -5 doglove said:

Apr 21, 2016 12:36:01 GMT -5 smock said:

I'd love to claim credit, but I think it was a Kuus-ism. 

Regardless, there are definitely more than 4 men in the world who WON'T pee on you while you're sleeping. 

Definitely wrathofkuus comment. Miss that lady! 

Every time I was tempted to make even more poor decisions while dating, I would have the words of Kuus run through my head: "MORE THAN 4 DAMN MEN." It's useful!

Also, I don't care if it's MUD either (and I see that OP says it's definitely not) - do you all not see people making poor decisions in the name of love (or saving someone) on a regular basis? A ton of people lurk on this board, and some are probably in even worse situations than this. I mean, look at how many people have come and gone on this board who have jobless, abusive, POS, deadbeat addicts for ex-spouses. At some point, they were all in a newly-dating-and-unsure phase, right? There's no harm in giving advice, even if the OP isn't real.

[daisyn]

I think you're just lonely.
No one is perfect and I've dated guys far too less than perfect due to loneliness, especially at the beginning of the starting over process
You just need to raise your standards.
Either that or you're the type that likes to try to "save someone". I went through that period too

[Mrs.Rad888]

May 1, 2016 11:20:31 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Dicks are free and abundant.

And most of them aren't picky, so don't gauge your worth on whether someone is willing to let you play with theirs.

[FormerlyRR]

May 1, 2016 20:19:15 GMT -5 Mrs.Rad888 said:

May 1, 2016 11:20:31 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Dicks are free and abundant.

And most of them aren't picky, so don't gauge your worth on whether someone is willing to let you play with theirs.

crying here. Y'all are too funny. 1234FIF!,Mrs.Rad888,

[bluejen22]

We are still seeing each other. He hasn't been drinking as much and we have been doing a lot of things together...going to dinner, movies. I guess I am meeting his family this weekend.

[bluejen22]

He hasn't been drinking as much and last night, he hardly had anything. We got in a little bit of a fight Sunday night, but we talked about it yesterday and it seems like everything is ok.

[bluejen22]

I know, based on his history, he has a problem. I do enjoy his company; he makes me laugh and we have fun together.

[Deleted]

So addicts are advised to not be in relationships for awhile and to seek treatment. I believe you're both enabling each other. He wants someone to take care of him and you are co dependent and want to be a "fixer" and need to be needed.

I say this as someone's father who was an alcoholic. You would both do each other right by ending the relationship and working on yourselves. Revist the relationship when he has been in treatment and sober for a year.

[jigsy]

Guess there really is a lid for every pot.


Sorry girl. But no. The fun and laughter he provides isn't worth the laundromat costs.

He is a loser. That is all there is to that. Losers can be funny, but that doesn't make them less of a loser.

[bluejen22]

No accidents since the time I posted about it.

[jigsy]

www.commonsensemedia.org/privacy-and-internet-safety/what-are-some-good-rules-for-screen-names-and-passwords

[cuddlyevil]

May 10, 2016 12:17:18 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

I know, based on his history, he has a problem. I do enjoy his company; he makes me laugh and we have fun together.

But you can find someone whose company you enjoy, who makes you laugh and have fun with that doesn't have an addiction and won't pee your bed. 

[doriswe]

I'm sorry...I never want this thread to die. I want bluejen22, to post every time he has an "accident." It will be like reliving those months of potty training DS or when we housebroke a puppy. Plus it makes my life look pretty freaking vanilla!

[jojoandleo]

May 10, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

So addicts are advised to not be in relationships for awhile and to seek treatment. I believe you're both enabling each other. He wants someone to take care of him and you are co dependent and want to be a "fixer" and need to be needed.

I say this as someone's father who was an alcoholic. You would both do each other right by ending the relationship and working on yourselves. Revist the relationship when he has been in treatment and sober for a year.

Yeah. As the Adult Child of an Alcoholic, this is annoying as FUCK. focusing on relationships was one of the problems my dad had with getting AND STAYING sober. You are not doing yourself or him any favors. In fact, you are harming both yourself and him. Good job. 

This is one of the DUMBEST things I have ever seen posted here. I agree that you are either a troll (sick) or a moron. Either way, get help. You obviously need it.

[jigsy]

May 10, 2016 12:40:05 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm sorry...I never want this thread to die. I want bluejen22 , to post every time he has an "accident." It will be like reliving those months of potty training DS or when we housebroke a puppy. Plus it makes my life look pretty freaking vanilla!

I'd also like to know how many times bluejen22 ends up at his apartment to find him passed out. Bonus points for puddles of urine being involved. 

I mean, really, it is the fairytale. I have always wanted to find a man who is so incapable of caring for himself that he needs the girl he's been seeing for less than a month to do his laundry and clean his piss. It's like Cinderella...except the dude isn't the prince, hes the evil stepmother...who pees the bed.

[jojoandleo]

May 10, 2016 12:40:05 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm sorry...I never want this thread to die. I want bluejen22 , to post every time he has an "accident." It will be like reliving those months of potty training DS or when we housebroke a puppy. Plus it makes my life look pretty freaking vanilla!

AND it makes any bad choices I have ever made seem like genius ideas in comparison.

[doriswe]

May 10, 2016 12:46:06 GMT -5 mp said:

May 10, 2016 12:40:05 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm sorry...I never want this thread to die. I want bluejen22 , to post every time he has an "accident." It will be like reliving those months of potty training DS or when we housebroke a puppy. Plus it makes my life look pretty freaking vanilla!

We should make a bingo board game. 

He has an accident
She treats him like she's his mother
She is unhappy because he's immature
He is drunk
... 

so many hours of fun! 

For the love of all things holy, we need to make this happen!

Can we also get a box for "accidental pregnancy"?

[doriswe]

mp, this is amazing....what about something along the lines of "I need you to make me a better person" or "no money for rent and Jen pays it"?

[jojoandleo]

May 10, 2016 12:57:54 GMT -5 mp said:

May 10, 2016 12:51:44 GMT -5 doriswe said:

For the love of all things holy, we need to make this happen!

Can we also get a box for "accidental pregnancy"?

Working on it: 

osric.com/bingo-card-generator/?title=Jencase83%27s+disaster+life&words=Accident+in+bed%2C+Jen+pays+his+bill%28s%29%2C+Jen+isn%27t+sure+if+she+should+break+up%2C+Jen+mothers+him%2C+He+gets+drunk%2C+He+says+I+love+you%2C+He+cheats+on+Jen%2C+Jen+excuses+his+behavior%2C+Jen+says+%22you+don%27t+know+my+lyfe%22%2C+He+asks+why+Jen+is+mad+at+him%2C+Jen+buys+a+waterproof+mattress+cover%2C+Jen+gets+in+a+fight+with+him%2C+%22But+we+have+fun+together%21%22%2C+Jen+completely+ignores+all+advice%2C+Jen+refuses+therapy%2C+%22My+friends+and+family+hate+him%22%2C+%22I%27m+done%22%2C+%22I+just+want+to+help+him%22%2C+%22He+wants+to+be+a+better+person%22%2C+%22I+am+scared+to+be+alone%22%2C+%22Accidental%22+pregnancy&freespace=true&freespaceValue=Piss+Palace&freespaceRandom=false&width=5&height=5&number=10#results


THink of any more? lol

This is so wrong.  So wrong, it is right.  How about "Jen has to step over his drunkenly passed out body to get to work"  Or "He quits treatment because he's 'cured'"

[jigsy]

[doriswe]

The.freaking.best!!!

What's the prize for winning? Package of Depends?

[Deleted]

Y'all are horrible people.


doriswe, The prize is a handle of your choice, a pack of depends, and a mattress protector.

[doriswe]

May 10, 2016 13:25:20 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Y'all are horrible people.


doriswe , The prize is a handle of your choice, a pack of depends, and a mattress protector.

I'm in it to win it!!!

[bg]

LOL at Piss Palace. This is GREAT!!!

[jojoandleo]

May 10, 2016 13:25:20 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Y'all are horrible people.


doriswe , The prize is a handle of your choice, a pack of depends, and a mattress protector.

Yes, but only because if we didn't laugh, we would cry. 

And I would prefer to win booze AND depends, then I won't have to pee my bed after I drink all my winnings.

[pinkdutchtulips]

May 10, 2016 12:08:34 GMT -5 bluejen22 said:

We are still seeing each other. He hasn't been drinking as much and we have been doing a lot of things together...going to dinner, movies. I guess I am meeting his family this weekend.

this is how it all started w my xh (minus the peeing in the bed) and it ended in a giant clusterf* ck 12 1/2 years later as I IGNORED every concievable red flag. It pains me to see someone else travel down the same road, w the same blinders on knowing damn well how the story ends.

This is called the honeymoon phase, he will slip, it will get ugly, you CANNOT fix crazy

[doriswe]

May 10, 2016 13:55:04 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

May 10, 2016 13:25:20 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Y'all are horrible people.


doriswe , The prize is a handle of your choice, a pack of depends, and a mattress protector.

Yes, but only because if we didn't laugh, we would cry. 

And I would prefer to win booze AND depends, then I won't have to pee my bed after I drink all my winnings.

And think of the increased laziness....you wouldn't have to bother to get out of bed to pee after drinking a ton. Win-win!