@this I so understand all of your posts now. I was so glad I didn't have to make any decisions about a second or TTC ever again, so glad that hellish first tri was two-thirds over and I'd never have to do it again. And now all those decisions and those awful uncertain weeks are on the table again.
And now we are moving into a house that will have an empty fourth bedroom instead of the nursery I was already stupidly planning. Maybe I will make a library/cocktail room just for me.
@this I so understand all of your posts now. I was so glad I didn't have to make any decisions about a second or TTC ever again, so glad that hellish first tri was two-thirds over and I'd never have to do it again. And now all those decisions and those awful uncertain weeks are on the table again.
And now we are moving into a house that will have an empty fourth bedroom instead of the nursery I was already stupidly planning. Maybe I will make a library/cocktail room just for me.
((Hugs)) not sure if you remember but we bought this house when I was 7 wks pregnant and had not seen the baby (first pregnancy). Saw heartbeat a a week after our offer was accepted. Lost the baby 3 weeks later. We went forward with the house and not going to lie, it was hard. We had already picked the nursery room and it was our favorite room in the house from Day 1.
Some days when I was really struggling I would go in that room and always felt comfort, like my baby(ies) were there telling me I was eventually going to be ok and God reassuring me that we would have a baby someday in the nursery. I'm tearing up just writing this. But you know the ending...that room is now C's room and it is the one part of this house I will genuinely miss when we move. It's still my favorite room. When we moved in both DH and I thought we would have to close it off and just pretend life was perfect but in reality it helped to heal me in ways I never could have imagined. I know it doesn't feel like that right now for you because you are understandably so raw but I hope this is the experience you have weeks, months, and years from now.