Post by tellmesomethingood on May 13, 2016 10:00:31 GMT -5
I have OCD. I hate that it's a joke to so many people. It's exhausting, makes you feel crazy, ruins relationships, ruins sleep, ruins your health, etc. Everyone has things they do that seem strange. OCD for me isn't wondering if I left the stove on. It's taking half an hour to lock the front door or being convinced that if the dishwasher isn't loaded right, everyone will get sick from the dirty dishes and maybe even die.
Post by amberlyrose on May 13, 2016 10:28:45 GMT -5
I think mine manifests from the ADHD and is not OCD. I can never go in a straight line in my "to-do" list, so then I get obsessive about checking things 20-30 times. I've been an hour late once because I could NOT leave the house without checking things multiple times. And those things can be something stupid like the straightener is at an angle on my counter instead of straight or the hand soap in the kitchen is too far left. Before getting on medication, I forced myself to count things out in my circle of the house, including the oven lights. I checked 8 things. I basically live on lists.
This is why I get pissed about those threads that people think my lateness means I don't care about their time. You know how much I would LOVE to just walk out of the house without a panicky feeling? I would love to be on time.
Post by theoriginalbean on May 13, 2016 11:25:37 GMT -5
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who chimed in as having OCD. I've struggled with it for as long as I can remember, and this is timely because we have an appointment in 90 minutes to take our 7yo in for his first eval, as his symptoms have really ramped up over the last few weeks. Thank you for reminding me that we're not alone.
Post by onesweetworld on May 13, 2016 11:38:19 GMT -5
Yes I was told I have a mild version of it. But I've learned to control it over the years. It's really manageable now. My main compulsions are: locking doors, turning off hot things that could start a fire and forgetting things e.g. Leaving something at a restaurant etc.
I try to be "in the moment" at key times so I can remember doing things. Like Papie I also say things out loud. I also use extensive checklists
I have OCD. I hate that it's a joke to so many people. It's exhausting, makes you feel crazy, ruins relationships, ruins sleep, ruins your health, etc. Everyone has things they do that seem strange. OCD for me isn't wondering if I left the stove on. It's taking half an hour to lock the front door or being convinced that if the dishwasher isn't loaded right, everyone will get sick from the dirty dishes and maybe even die.
YES. Counting to a certain number or eating your M&Ms in a certain order is quirk. Being worried about leaving your iron on might be general anxiety disorder. Being terrified if you don't do that you might get sick or your family might die or other irrational thoughts is OCD.
OCD is a serious mental illness that can drive people to suicide. It's just...not cute.
I have OCD. I hate that it's a joke to so many people. It's exhausting, makes you feel crazy, ruins relationships, ruins sleep, ruins your health, etc. Everyone has things they do that seem strange. OCD for me isn't wondering if I left the stove on. It's taking half an hour to lock the front door or being convinced that if the dishwasher isn't loaded right, everyone will get sick from the dirty dishes and maybe even die.
YES. Counting to a certain number or eating your M&Ms in a certain order is quirk. Being worried about leaving your iron on might be general anxiety disorder. Being terrified if you don't do that you might get sick or your family might die or other irrational thoughts is OCD.
OCD is a serious mental illness that can drive people to suicide. It's just...not cute.
QFT. OCD is an actual medical diagnosis. We don't say we have "a touch of cancer" or "a touch of diabetes." Referring to OCD in the same manner perpetuates stigma and is hurtful.
This has been educational and lesson learned for sure. I will never refer to myself as having a touch of OCD again. Honestly, I never thought about it before and I apologize. I exhibit signs of OCD but I obviously do not have it.
I have OCD. I hate that it's a joke to so many people. It's exhausting, makes you feel crazy, ruins relationships, ruins sleep, ruins your health, etc. Everyone has things they do that seem strange. OCD for me isn't wondering if I left the stove on. It's taking half an hour to lock the front door or being convinced that if the dishwasher isn't loaded right, everyone will get sick from the dirty dishes and maybe even die.
I liked this because of your first few sentences, not because of what you go through.
I have OCD. It's exhausting. It has nearly destroyed my marriage, my relationship with my mother and made me unrecognizable to myself and those closest to me. I can't even begin to describe what it has done to me and my family.
YES. Counting to a certain number or eating your M&Ms in a certain order is quirk. Being worried about leaving your iron on might be general anxiety disorder. Being terrified if you don't do that you might get sick or your family might die or other irrational thoughts is OCD.
OCD is a serious mental illness that can drive people to suicide. It's just...not cute.
I wish I could like this more than once. Like I said in my PP: I don't have OCD, but I definitely have had my quality of life heavily impacted by obsessiveness caused by my GAD.
I eat my M&Ms in certain color order, and like my car radio volume to be an even number, or end in a 5. That's just weird stuff I do (and can the even numbers thing even be considered "weird" or "quirky" if it's a pretty universal preference?)-it's not "obesessive" behavior, though.
Getting a bag of M&Ms with an uneven amount of blue ones does not consume my life-as soon as the M&Ms are gone, it never crosses my mind again.
But being convinced all day my cats WOULD get murdered because I didn't check the lock on the more-than-likely-still-locked back door, and then beating myself up over it for an entire week after the fact, even though the door *was* still locked and no cats got murdered on my watch? THAT TAKES A GODDAMN TOLL ON A PERSON!
I have trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) which is a manifestation of OCD, and it is awful. It started when I was 9 and I pulled out all of my eyebrows and eyelashes. I was mercilessly bullied about it for years. I have been through years of therapy for it but have only succeeded in refocusing my hair pulling to more appropriate (hidden) places and also to picking at my cuticles (which ends up being to the point of bleeding). My mother has vocalized her wish that I "just stop" and I think my husband wonders why I can't as well. I have anxiety about being "called out" for it, like at a manicure. I am terrified my daughter will suffer from this compulsion too. It makes me deeply sad that my genetics exposed her to this possibility and I feel incredibly selfish for having her, knowing that she could have it too. And this is still not a terrible, life ruining form of ocd-- it is just painful and embarrassing.
I have OCD. I hate that it's a joke to so many people. It's exhausting, makes you feel crazy, ruins relationships, ruins sleep, ruins your health, etc. Everyone has things they do that seem strange. OCD for me isn't wondering if I left the stove on. It's taking half an hour to lock the front door or being convinced that if the dishwasher isn't loaded right, everyone will get sick from the dirty dishes and maybe even die.
YES. Counting to a certain number or eating your M&Ms in a certain order is quirk. Being worried about leaving your iron on might be general anxiety disorder. Being terrified if you don't do that you might get sick or your family might die or other irrational thoughts is OCD.
OCD is a serious mental illness that can drive people to suicide. It's just...not cute.
Amen. I have (actual, diagnosed) pure-o OCD along with ADHD and some (lots of) anxiety thrown in for good measure. I wouldn't wish any of it on my worst enemy. It is debilitating and exhausting.
I have trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) which is a manifestation of OCD, and it is awful. It started when I was 9 and I pulled out all of my eyebrows and eyelashes. I was mercilessly bullied about it for years. I have been through years of therapy for it but have only succeeded in refocusing my hair pulling to more appropriate (hidden) places and also to picking at my cuticles (which ends up being to the point of bleeding). My mother has vocalized her wish that I "just stop" and I think my husband wonders why I can't as well. I have anxiety about being "called out" for it, like at a manicure. I am terrified my daughter will suffer from this compulsion too. It makes me deeply sad that my genetics exposed her to this possibility and I feel incredibly selfish for having her, knowing that she could have it too. And this is still not a terrible, life ruining form of ocd-- it is just painful and embarrassing.
I'm sorry I have dermatillomania (skin picking) and it's horrible. I was able to stop most of it through therapy but I still pick my cuticles to the point of bleeding constantly. At its worst, I picked the bottoms of my feet horribly. I could never get pedicures or anything because the bottoms of my feet were so, so bad. One of my daughters has really high anxiety and I'm scared I've passed my whack brain onto her, too.
I have actual OCD as opposed to a touch of it LOL. Mine is what is sometimes referred to a "pure obsession" OCD as I don't have overt compulsions (like counting, checking, etc.)
A lot of what people understand to be OCD (which is an anxiety disorder) is actually Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (a personality disorder).
I had no idea there were two different disorders. Off to google!
ETA: So many of the issues listed here seem to stem more from OPCD. I definitely don't have that. I will ask my therapist, OCD does seem more like it. Like I said, I don't have the compulsions when I am on ADs, but I do have obsessive thoughts about my kids dying (like where I visualize the death over and over without being able to get rid of it) which I've been working on in therapy, but I thought that was GAD.
Back when I worked, I was a little bit overly-perfectionistic. Like, I wasted time making sure everything was just right, even when it really didn't matter.
As a SAHM, I am super laid back about everything, no OCD tendencies at all. My H is the one who has a thing about germs and needs to be sure stuff is clean. I appreciate it, actually, since I was raised in the hippy 70's where we bathed once a week and all that. He's probably the reason our kids don't get sick too often. (I *do* wash my hands after using the bathroom, however!)
I always have and some days it's ridiculous. The two biggest offenders are the garage door and my flat iron. I have little tricks to prevent leaving them open/on but still sometimes have to drive back home to double check. Most days are fine, but I wish I didn't have this. I have weird stuff with time too.
Going to get an auto-shut off straightener. I don't know why I don't already have this!
Just wondering if others have this. My DH does too so he totally gets it.
I question whether it's better to deal with the urges/anxiety or not, but we ended up getting a smart hub thing that lets DH check the garage door from his phone (that was his main anxiety that would make him drive home). You can also get "smart" outlets that you could check were powered down. Again, whether it's really better to use a crutch like that or deal with the underlying anxiety I won't pretend to know, but it's worked for us.
I don't have it, but my fiance has it. I try to be understanding, but I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. Do I answer him when he asks me "is the stove off?" as he's looking at the stove that's turned off? or when he counts the panels on the garage door to make sure it's closed and then asks me "how many panels do you see right now?" He is always looking for reassurance that stuff is closed and turned off. It takes him probably 15 mins to get out of the house when he goes somewhere because he has to check each light, faucet, stove, toaster oven, door, window, etc before he can leave. I know it freaks him out when I use my flatiron. He used to unplug all of the lamps in the house before he would go anywhere because he didn't trust the wiring not to start a fire. I didn't realize how bad it was until we moved in together. His apartment door knob was so loose from him checking/pulling on it at least 10 times every time he went somewhere to make sure it was locked. I feel bad for him and he refuses to get help for it. I hope that doesn't sound insensitive.
I am not like this at all (counting things or checking things), but I do have a lot of anxiety and worry about the same things over and over again to the point where that's all I can think about.
I always have and some days it's ridiculous. The two biggest offenders are the garage door and my flat iron. I have little tricks to prevent leaving them open/on but still sometimes have to drive back home to double check. Most days are fine, but I wish I didn't have this. I have weird stuff with time too.
Going to get an auto-shut off straightener. I don't know why I don't already have this!
Just wondering if others have this. My DH does too so he totally gets it.
I question whether it's better to deal with the urges/anxiety or not, but we ended up getting a smart hub thing that lets DH check the garage door from his phone (that was his main anxiety that would make him drive home). You can also get "smart" outlets that you could check were powered down. Again, whether it's really better to use a crutch like that or deal with the underlying anxiety I won't pretend to know, but it's worked for us.
I've suggested the smart hub and smart outlets to my fiance but he's worried that somehow he will accidentally turn everything on via his phone. So, for him, that adds to the anxiety about the garage door being open or the lights being turned off. He worries so much about the garage door that he closed it on my car a few weeks ago while I was backing out because he was afraid that I would forget to close the door.
I had no idea there were two different disorders. Off to google!
ETA: So many of the issues listed here seem to stem more from OPCD. I definitely don't have that. I will ask my therapist, OCD does seem more like it. Like I said, I don't have the compulsions when I am on ADs, but I do have obsessive thoughts about my kids dying (like where I visualize the death over and over without being able to get rid of it) which I've been working on in therapy, but I thought that was GAD.
Am I going to end up Googling this and finding out I actually DO have OCD, not just GAD?
Because really, pre-GAD meds, spending hours obsessing over myself or DH dying (or again, the cats getting murdered) was pretty par-for-the-course in my every day life. It wasn't until after I'd been on the meds for a while that I even realized how bad I was about that.
I can't thank the sweet baby Jesus enough for Zoloft.
I have actual OCD as opposed to a touch of it LOL. Mine is what is sometimes referred to a "pure obsession" OCD as I don't have overt compulsions (like counting, checking, etc.)
A lot of what people understand to be OCD (which is an anxiety disorder) is actually Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (a personality disorder).
but I do have obsessive thoughts about my kids dying (like where I visualize the death over and over without being able to get rid of it)
I do this and it's awful. I think about it to the point that I actually get upset and sometimes cry. It's especially bad when I'm driving in my car alone or in bed. I thought it was normal and came with being a parent, but maybe it's not?
ETA: I also obsess about animals being hit by cars or dying alone. For whatever reason I get really stressed out driving into work and am constantly afraid that I'm either going to see an injured animal or hit one while I'm driving. I've never hit an animal with my car and I'm not sure why it's the worst on my way into work.
but I do have obsessive thoughts about my kids dying (like where I visualize the death over and over without being able to get rid of it)
I do this and it's awful. I think about it to the point that I actually get upset and sometimes cry. It's especially bad when I'm driving in my car alone or in bed. I thought it was normal and came with being a parent, but maybe it's not?
I think it depends on how much it bothers you and how often/much it happens? I can't handle it, it makes me crazy, hence why I'm in therapy over it.
ETA: weird example of something that for me is NOT an issue, but let's say driving over bridges. Every time, I picture in my head who will grab each kid when we inevitably fall off the bridge, and how we'll get out of the car. But it isn't a real issue for me, because I can still drive over bridges. But DH (who has GAD) will get a legit panic attack that could actually send us off the bridge, so for him it's a big anxiety issue that he needs to solve.
I do this and it's awful. I think about it to the point that I actually get upset and sometimes cry. It's especially bad when I'm driving in my car alone or in bed. I thought it was normal and came with being a parent, but maybe it's not?
I think it depends on how much it bothers you and how often/much it happens? I can't handle it, it makes me crazy, hence why I'm in therapy over it.
I should probably be in therapy over it. It consumes me some days and has gotten increasingly worse as my DS has gotten older. I have to text him when I'm feeling this way so that I know he's ok. I often envision coming home from work and seeing him dead in his bed. I'm now in the habit of waking him up every morning before I go to work so that I know he's ok. He's going to be moving out in about a year and I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle it.
I think it depends on how much it bothers you and how often/much it happens? I can't handle it, it makes me crazy, hence why I'm in therapy over it.
I should probably be in therapy over it. It consumes me some days and has gotten increasingly worse as my DS has gotten older. I have to text him when I'm feeling this way so that I know he's ok. I often envision coming home from work and seeing him dead in his bed. I'm now in the habit of waking him up every morning before I go to work so that I know he's ok. He's going to be moving out in about a year and I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle it.
Writing that out makes me feel kind of crazy.
Yep, definitely time for a therapy appointment. It really does help. (((hugs)))
I should probably be in therapy over it. It consumes me some days and has gotten increasingly worse as my DS has gotten older. I have to text him when I'm feeling this way so that I know he's ok. I often envision coming home from work and seeing him dead in his bed. I'm now in the habit of waking him up every morning before I go to work so that I know he's ok. He's going to be moving out in about a year and I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle it.
Writing that out makes me feel kind of crazy.
Yep, definitely time for a therapy appointment. It really does help. (((hugs)))
Hugs to you to. It's a horrible feeling to have those kinds of thoughts.
Sigh, I think deep down I've known for a long time that I've been in need of therapy.
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who chimed in as having OCD. I've struggled with it for as long as I can remember, and this is timely because we have an appointment in 90 minutes to take our 7yo in for his first eval, as his symptoms have really ramped up over the last few weeks. Thank you for reminding me that we're not alone.
Are you familiar with PANDAS? If not, please ask your pedi about it.
Yes! It's definitely something I've wondered about, but they always point to both his lack of history with strep and my own history with OCD. His symptoms are something I've been keeping an eye on for the last 2-3 years.
It really is fascinating, thank you for bringing it up!
I have OCD. I hate that it's a joke to so many people. It's exhausting, makes you feel crazy, ruins relationships, ruins sleep, ruins your health, etc. Everyone has things they do that seem strange. OCD for me isn't wondering if I left the stove on. It's taking half an hour to lock the front door or being convinced that if the dishwasher isn't loaded right, everyone will get sick from the dirty dishes and maybe even die.
YES. Counting to a certain number or eating your M&Ms in a certain order is quirk. Being worried about leaving your iron on might be general anxiety disorder. Being terrified if you don't do that you might get sick or your family might die or other irrational thoughts is OCD.
OCD is a serious mental illness that can drive people to suicide. It's just...not cute.
Suicide is actually one of my intrusive thoughts. I don't want to die. I absolutely do not want to kill myself. But, for example, every time I drive over a bridge I get these overwhelming thoughts about driving off of it and drowning and my chest feels like it's going to explode. When I stand on top of a ledge, a roof, I have this thought, this nagging, repetitive voice in my head telling me to jump. Just walk off. Take one more step to the edge. I have plenty of compulsions but thankfully not too many interfere, as they are smaller and not long routines. My heart hurts for people that have to spend four hours at night running through their rituals. Some days I think I'd rather have that than the thoughts though, but medication has helped somewhat.
ETA: textbookcase oddly I JUST learned what I have been doing since childhood is dermatillomania, and has a real name. You can usually find a lack of skin and blood on my thumbs, and I have no idea I'm doing it. I want to hug everyone in this thread that struggles with these things.
Post by leshoequeen on May 13, 2016 16:15:33 GMT -5
My actual diagnosis is obsessive anxiety. It usually manifests in obsessing over the fear that I am going to die from some illness or random symptom. It has been absolutely exhausting at times, but thankfully medication and therapy have been helpful.
Interestingly though, since I've been medicated the obsessing over my health has subsided and the counting and odd/even things have increased but not to a point where I am concerned.
Suicide is actually one of my intrusive thoughts. I don't want to die. I absolutely do not want to kill myself. But, for example, every time I drive over a bridge I get these overwhelming thoughts about driving off of it and drowning and my chest feels like it's going to explode. When I stand on top of a ledge, a roof, I have this thought, this nagging, repetitive voice in my head telling me to jump. Just walk off. Take one more step to the edge.
Holy crap, before I started taking meds, this happened to me a lot. And there was a direct correlation between how pressing this thought was vs. how stressful the rest of my life was at the time, but even in non-stressful times it would happen. I didn't actually want to die, the thought of dying terrifies me (Actually, another persistent thought I used to have was when trying to fall asleep at night, I would become convinced that if I actually did fall asleep, I would not wake up. Never mind that I'm only 31 years old now and have always been physically healthy-if I fell asleep, I was definitely going to die before morning). I've been driving over a large bridge to get to work for the last 13 years, and I've lost track of how many times I thought "Just pull over. Get out of the car. Jump." Again: was not actually suicidal during this time. But I would still always have that thought.
When I started medication, these thoughts completely went away. But then, a couple of years ago, I went through a period where my meds just stopped working and I didn't notice ... until I started having the thoughts again. But this time, because I'd been "okay" for so long and knew what "okay" felt like, it turned into this whole awful spiral of "I'm crazy. I can't live like this. I'm already medicated. I'm 'too crazy' for even medication to work. I can't spend another 70 years trapped in my head like this when even medication won't work. I would be better off dying than to do this any more." That ... that was a really bad time for me.
Post by whitemerlot on May 13, 2016 17:54:55 GMT -5
I have GAD and many of the symptoms of OCD being discussed in this thread. One of the worst is skin picking, mainly of my feet and picking my toenails. My feet are often really painful and I can't stop doing it.
I feel ashamed of some of this behavior and I try to hide it. I'm uncomfortable posting this, but doing it anyway because of how brave so many of you have been in here to share your experiences.