This week is the suck. (updated)

[amberlyrose]

My grandpa is in hospice and I don't know if he's going to make it past this week. My dad has a love/hate relationship with him and is taking it a lot harder than any of us expected, I think. He also has issues with his siblings and just doesn't want to see them. He's going to drive to AZ with my sister tomorrow to say his goodbyes.

I'm trying to decide if I should meet him in Arizona so I can run interference between him and my uncle because I really don't think my sister can. The flights are super cheap, but I have another thing that is holding up that decision.. our husky, Kenny, is currently getting a cancerous mass taken off today. We won't know the results of how bad it is for a few days, but the vet is worried about him going into shock, I guess? from disturbing the mass. They are giving him an antihistamine just in case, but I'm still worried.

I also have a meeting tonight for a policy issue I'm helping with and the council vote is tomorrow. And another meeting tomorrow night for an event I'm helping with this weekend.

And my cousin is in town. Haven't seen him in about 10 years and we had dinner plans for tonight, but now everything is getting piled on. I can't cancel on him. 
 
I don't want to adult anymore. 

Updated: My grandpa passed away this morning. Dad is taking it pretty hard, my step cousin is upset that someone died in her house. Sigh. 

[nsl]

I'm so sorry.

[mcmel]

I'm sorry

I personally would stay home. Your dad is an adult and can handle his siblings. You have too much going on to pick that up, although it's nice of you to offer.

Do your meeting, have drinks with your cousin afterwards.

[amberlyrose]

Eh, I'd love to think my dad could handle it, but he really has issues with his brother.. he turns into a scared 5 year old that's afraid to speak up to his older brother and then doesn't know how to react. It's a weird dynamic and why my dad basically avoids any contact.

[lilac05]

I'm so sorry. That's a lot at one time.

[Elsa]

Oh Amberly I'm so so sorry - what a terrible combination of things to happen at once

[FastHands]

Ugh I'm sorry.
You can absolutely cancel with your cousin. You haven't seen him for 10 years so he's really not critial to your life more than likely. Apologize profusely and cross that off of the list of your burdens. Delegate anything you can, which may include trusting/empowering your sister to help with the dad/uncle stuff. Take deep breaths, handle one situation, one minute at a time. Make a schedule of when to work on/think about things, and stick to it. Be sure to include things like eating and sleeping.

[jezebel]

I'm sorry let me know if I can help with anything.

[janegold]

(((amberlyrose)))

[noodle]

I'm so sorry.

[amberlyrose]

May 23, 2016 13:05:42 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Ugh I'm sorry.
You can absolutely cancel with your cousin. You haven't seen him for 10 years so he's really not critial to your life more than likely. Apologize profusely and cross that off of the list of your burdens. Delegate anything you can, which may include trusting/empowering your sister to help with the dad/uncle stuff. Take deep breaths, handle one situation, one minute at a time. Make a schedule of when to work on/think about things, and stick to it. Be sure to include things like eating and sleeping.

I decided not to cancel, but the dinner is going to be shortened, for sure.
Dad is going to let me know once he gets to AZ if I need to go ASAP to say good bye, if it's a little too late, etc. I think this will also give him time to assess the level of his siblings' assholishness. Flights are less than $100 RT and there are 6 flights tomorrow. I'll decide then. 
Kenny is out of surgery and it sounds like it went well. Histopathology on the tumor takes about a week, so we'll know more then. Just gotta see how he's feeling coming out of anesthesia. I can pick him up in an hour. 
I may leave the policy meeting tonight in DH's hands since he's more involved. Again, depends on the pup. 

[kirra]

I'm so sorry

I'm glad your pup's surgery went well.

As for running interference... Make the decision you think will be easiest for you to live with. Short term or long term. Setting healthy boundaries is an awesome thing, but as someone who's had to set some there's a time to do so. For me, it wasn't a crisis. Setting them then would have pushed me over the edge. For a friend, setting them during a crisis was what kept her sane. It's an individual decision, and only you know what feels right.

That said, you have no obligation to run interference. It's not your responsibility. If you feel guilty and like it is your job, I'm sure the ladies here can give you some perspective

[isabel]

I'm so sorry. I hope things start looking up soon and that your pup is ok.

[amberlyrose]

May 23, 2016 15:53:08 GMT -5 kirra said:

I'm so sorry

I'm glad your pup's surgery went well.

As for running interference... Make the decision you think will be easiest for you to live with. Short term or long term. Setting healthy boundaries is an awesome thing, but as someone who's had to set some there's a time to do so. For me, it wasn't a crisis. Setting them then would have pushed me over the edge. For a friend, setting them during a crisis was what kept her sane. It's an individual decision, and only you know what feels right.

That said, you have no obligation to run interference. It's not your responsibility. If you feel guilty and like it is your job, I'm sure the ladies here can give you some perspective

Just got off the phone with my mom and she reminded me that my sister had to run interference before with this uncle, so I'm feeling better about that. My dad's family has no boundaries, even when we try to set them, so we've pretty much cut them out. I'm the only one who is FB friends just in case there is something my dad needs to know without him having to see it all. 

It sucks because I just want to be there to help. I know they're short on cash, so I paid their utility bill. That's more for me to feel like I'm doing something but my mom said it will help them, especially with the travel costs. 

[blondemoment123]

I'm sorry

[amberlyrose]

just updated.
Sadly, I'm a little relieved that he passed. I'm glad my dad was able to say his goodbyes.

[styme46]

I'm sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

[1confused1]

I'm so sorry

[charley]

I'm so sorry.

[knx9211]

I'm so sorry for your loss <3

[nahoku]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

[Elsa]

Amberly I'm so so sorry for your loss

[mom2twoboys]

I'm so sorry.

[So_Fetch]

I'm so sorry for your loss. ::hugs::

[isabel]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Good thoughts to you and your family.

[flex]

I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

[janegold]

I'm so sorry, amberlyrose.

[Eagles]

I'm so sorry for your loss, amberlyrose. That is a lot of shit for one person to deal with.

[sassycat]

So very sorry for you loss. Grandparents are hard ones to lose.

[MeMyselfandI]

I'm sorry for your loss.