Really H?

[themoneytree]

So I knew my MIL was coming this weekend, but I asked her when and she said Sunday which I thought was weird but whatever.

Well.

I just asked H what time she arrives and he said she left at 1pm TODAY so will be here in a couple of hours.

And that he has to WORK tomorrow.

And that he has NO PLANS to tell her that we're separating until next week after she's left.

No matter that there's a big orange blob on the lawn where the for sale sign is going to go and there's real estate brochures all over the house.

So I will be spending tomorrow with her while he's at work and she has no clue what's going on.

Awesome right? Sometimes I really wonder what goes on in his head. If anything. For an intelligent person he can be really clueless.

[jigsy]

Do you want to spend time with your STBXMIL? If you do, then cool, but if not, do't. His fuck ups are no longer your problem. And if you want to tell her to make it less awkward, then tell her. It isn't his news only, and hes putting you in a terrible situation. Lovely part about divorcing is that you no longer have to sit back and try to accommodate him.

[themoneytree]

I don't. No.
I know if he tells her she's going to cry and shut down which is awkward and why he should have told her a couple of weeks ago.

I feel like now he gets to go to work and I have to act like everything is ok. Which I can't, so then I look like a crazy person.

[jigsy]

Yo are far kinder than I. I would just plan on being out of the house doing your own thing. If she asks whats up, and you don't want to spill the beans, just tell her to talk to her son, and peace out. I'd even lie about an appointment or something so she doesn't assume she can tag along.

"Oh, sorry, MIL, I thought you were coming in on Sunday and I made some appointments that I need to attend to, but I'll see you later, here is the remote!"

I'd rather sit at a park in the pouring rain than pretend that everything is honky dory in a marriage that is ending. I'm also a conflict avoider, so there is that.

[themoneytree]

I legitimately have a ton of stuff going on.
I'm doing 2 photo shoots, shopping for stuff for staging for the listing pics which are happening on Tuesday and I may be filling in for another photographer on Sunday morning.

Maybe I will say something myself. I just don't know.

[abcdefu]

Tell her it's 'Bring Your Mother to Work Day' at H's place of employment! Her visit is perfect timing!

Seriously though, ditto turdferguson, on the mani, pedi, and massage.

[Mrs.Rad888]

I'd want to use the line Ross said on an episode of "Friends," "I'd love to, but I've already made arrangements to fall off the Empire State Building onto a bicycle with no seat."

[itsmyparty]

My husband tried to pull this with his parents...except he wanted to wait until we were DIVORCED before he told them. I refused to keep up the charade and told him he needed to tell them before I did. I gave him a bit of time so he could break it to them, but I was not going to make things even harder for me emotionally by lying to everyone.

[glitzyglow]

I hope you were able to go about your day as you had planned.

[stephreloaded]

Honestly, I'd tell her. I'm just not good at pretending.

[themoneytree]

I'm going to bed because I am exhausted after this afternoon's photo shoot.
I just told H he is being really unfair to me by not telling her and he asked me if I wanted him to tell her now. I stupidly said yes and so now it will be my fault when she freaks out.

I never learn. Ever.

[cuddlyevil]

May 28, 2016 19:43:29 GMT -5 themoneytree said:

I'm going to bed because I am exhausted after this afternoon's photo shoot.
I just told H he is being really unfair to me by not telling her and he asked me if I wanted him to tell her now. I stupidly said yes and so now it will be my fault when she freaks out.

I never learn. Ever.

It's not your fault, it's his for not saying something before she arrived.

I am sorry that you're dealing with it though.