Friday flamefuls

[jojoandleo]

So, remember MH's friend who cried when he told her he was moving? She is totally BEC to me, now. Like, anything she posts on FB annoys me. Like, she posts pics of her in a hospital bed for a "small procedure" but when everyone asks, won't tell what the procedure is. And then makes posts for a weak about not being able to eat right because of her "procedure" but again, will not say what procedure. STOP FUCKING VAGUEBOOKING!

Anyway, today she posted that she needs to rehome her lab because he can't handle apartment living. Dude, you lived in an apartment when you GOT the dog. This is not okay! Take him on more walks. Buy him new toys. Or don't get a fucking dog if you can't properly care for it. I am so pissed about her rehoming this poor puppy.

[glynn]

Meet a new gut last Saturday night after talking to my friend that wanted to be FWB. FWB guy got really upset and things have been so much better and moving to more of a relationship. He expressed a lot of feeling that he had not until Sunday morning. Still do not know if it will go anywhere but he got his kick in the pants I guess. Talked to new guy and he was very nice about it.

[jojoandleo]

Jun 3, 2016 9:49:08 GMT -5 glynn said:

Meet a new gut last Saturday night after talking to my friend that wanted to be FWB. FWB guy got really upset and things have been so much better and moving to more of a relationship. He expressed a lot of feeling that he had not until Sunday morning. Still do not know if it will go anywhere but he got his kick in the pants I guess. Talked to new guy and he was very nice about it.

Be careful with this. You say it is "moving toward" a relationship, not a relationship. In my experience, these guys keep you hanging on hoping for a relationship that never comes. Just, be mindful of that.

[TR]

Jun 3, 2016 9:49:08 GMT -5 glynn said:

Meet a new gut last Saturday night after talking to my friend that wanted to be FWB. FWB guy got really upset and things have been so much better and moving to more of a relationship. He expressed a lot of feeling that he had not until Sunday morning. Still do not know if it will go anywhere but he got his kick in the pants I guess. Talked to new guy and he was very nice about it.

So wait, I'm confused. Before suggesting you all become FWB, was this friend someone you wanted a relationship with? I thought it was a long-term friend (you said 15 years) who just wanted to start fucking and you were like, "Nah bro, not interested." But really you wanted MORE than FWB with him?

[glynn]

I know, he is VERY aware that I will move on. I do not think that he thought I was serious before when we had talked aabout it. From Sunday afternoon until now it has been totally different. I do not want to push but at the same time I do not want to wait around to see either. I really think he was surprised that I meet up with someone else.

[stephreloaded]

Jun 3, 2016 9:49:08 GMT -5 glynn said:

Meet a new gut last Saturday night after talking to my friend that wanted to be FWB. FWB guy got really upset and things have been so much better and moving to more of a relationship. He expressed a lot of feeling that he had not until Sunday morning. Still do not know if it will go anywhere but he got his kick in the pants I guess. Talked to new guy and he was very nice about it.

Was this the "friend" that pretty much told you to be FWB or he would stop talking to you or something BS like that?

[glynn]

Yeah to both above. He was very upset and had a lot more feeling than he was telling me. We dated 15 years ago for awhile off and on. Then he wanted to be FWB then and I said no so we ended it. We have keep the freindship over the years talking more and more over time. He said a lot of things out frustion/hurt feeling last week because he shocked that I would meet up with someone else. I do not want FWB with anyone. I do not know if we could make it as a couple but I wanted to try and see.

[jigsy]

jojoandleo , I would probably post something that was innocently snarky, "Oh, that's too bad...are you moving to a smaller place? It seemed like it was fine before in your apartment...."

Mostly because fuck people like that. This woman is terrible.


glynn, yikes. I mean, I guess if you proceed with caution that is good. But I personally want someone to be with me because they want to be with me, not because they don't want someone else playing with their toy.

[jojoandleo]

Jun 3, 2016 10:02:09 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Jun 3, 2016 9:49:08 GMT -5 glynn said:

Meet a new gut last Saturday night after talking to my friend that wanted to be FWB. FWB guy got really upset and things have been so much better and moving to more of a relationship. He expressed a lot of feeling that he had not until Sunday morning. Still do not know if it will go anywhere but he got his kick in the pants I guess. Talked to new guy and he was very nice about it.

Was this the "friend" that pretty much told you to be FWB or he would stop talking to you or something BS like that?

Giiiiiirl, no. Run, don't walk, to your nearest therapist if you are willing to give this guy a chance. No. No no no no no no no. No.

[sparkythelawyer]

Jun 3, 2016 10:12:29 GMT -5 glynn said:

Yeah to both above. He was very upset and had a lot more feeling than he was telling me. We dated 15 years ago for awhile off and on. Then he wanted to be FWB then and I said no so we ended it. We have keep the freindship over the years talking more and more over time. He said a lot of things out frustion/hurt feeling last week because he shocked that I would meet up with someone else. I do not want FWB with anyone. I do not know if we could make it as a couple but I wanted to try and see.

This reads a whole lot like he only wants you all to himself when he realizes that you just might take your toys to another sandbox.  He doesn't want a relationship.  He just doesn't want you to have one either.  Tread carefully.

[riverpestie]

My boss isn't here today and I have about 120 pages left of the book I am reading (it is getting really good). Since is has been really hard to put down, I brought the book to work with me. I am hiding it in front of my paper stand and reading as much as I can. When I hear the main office door open or someone walking by my office, I pretend to be busy. 

[cuddlyevil]

Jun 3, 2016 10:23:07 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Jun 3, 2016 10:12:29 GMT -5 glynn said:

Yeah to both above. He was very upset and had a lot more feeling than he was telling me. We dated 15 years ago for awhile off and on. Then he wanted to be FWB then and I said no so we ended it. We have keep the freindship over the years talking more and more over time. He said a lot of things out frustion/hurt feeling last week because he shocked that I would meet up with someone else. I do not want FWB with anyone. I do not know if we could make it as a couple but I wanted to try and see.

This reads a whole lot like he only wants you all to himself when he realizes that you just might take your toys to another sandbox.  He doesn't want a relationship.  He just doesn't want you to have one either.  Tread carefully.

This ^ right here. 

[cuddlyevil]

Jun 3, 2016 10:12:29 GMT -5 glynn said:

Yeah to both above. He was very upset and had a lot more feeling than he was telling me. We dated 15 years ago for awhile off and on. Then he wanted to be FWB then and I said no so we ended it. We have keep the freindship over the years talking more and more over time. He said a lot of things out frustion/hurt feeling last week because he shocked that I would meet up with someone else. I do not want FWB with anyone. I do not know if we could make it as a couple but I wanted to try and see.

Wait, so he only expressed those feelings after you told him you started talking to someone else?

He needs to go sat down because if he sincerely felt those things, he would have no problems telling you. His saying "But, wait...I want you!" reeks of manipulation. I dated a guy like that, he wanted a "no strings" thing but if we were out at a show and a guy started talking to me he would get all possessive--like "back off she's mine..." when I really wasn't. And he freaked out when I started dating someone else too.

Did you end things with the other guy? If so, why?

[stephreloaded]

Jun 3, 2016 10:12:29 GMT -5 glynn said:

Yeah to both above. He was very upset and had a lot more feeling than he was telling me. We dated 15 years ago for awhile off and on. Then he wanted to be FWB then and I said no so we ended it. We have keep the freindship over the years talking more and more over time. He said a lot of things out frustion/hurt feeling last week because he shocked that I would meet up with someone else. I do not want FWB with anyone. I do not know if we could make it as a couple but I wanted to try and see.

You know he is manipulating you, right? 

Please, please run. He is not your friend, let alone your boyfriend. He first PUSHED you to have sex with him or else the friendship would end. Now that you are seeing someone else, he has all these sweet feelings. No, he pretty much wants to fuck you exclusively. 

[doriswe]

Jun 3, 2016 10:40:08 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

Jun 3, 2016 10:12:29 GMT -5 glynn said:

Yeah to both above. He was very upset and had a lot more feeling than he was telling me. We dated 15 years ago for awhile off and on. Then he wanted to be FWB then and I said no so we ended it. We have keep the freindship over the years talking more and more over time. He said a lot of things out frustion/hurt feeling last week because he shocked that I would meet up with someone else. I do not want FWB with anyone. I do not know if we could make it as a couple but I wanted to try and see.

Wait, so he only expressed those feelings after you told him you started talking to someone else?

He needs to go sat down because if he sincerely felt those things, he would have no problems telling you. His saying "But, wait...I want you!" reeks of manipulation. I dated a guy like that, he wanted a "no strings" thing but if we were out at a show and a guy started talking to me he would get all possessive--like "back off she's mine..." when I really wasn't. And he freaked out when I started dating someone else too.

**Waves hands all up here**

All of this...plus you know you're playing games with him too, right? What reason did you have to tell him about new dude other than to make him realize what he's losing. F-that noise. A real relationship should be built on trust and honesty. And why would you want someone who only wants you after he's made aware someone else is interested?

Out of total curiosity, did you ditch the new guy for this bs?

[doglove]

Jun 3, 2016 10:00:34 GMT -5 glynn said:

I know, he is VERY aware that I will move on. I do not think that he thought I was serious before when we had talked aabout it. From Sunday afternoon until now it has been totally different. I do not want to push but at the same time I do not want to wait around to see either. I really think he was surprised that I meet up with someone else.

:^)

From Sunday until Friday it's been different. How long have you know him? Years? I wouldn't trust this guy as far as I could throw him. 

[jojoandleo]

Jun 3, 2016 10:55:24 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jun 3, 2016 10:40:08 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

Wait, so he only expressed those feelings after you told him you started talking to someone else?

He needs to go sat down because if he sincerely felt those things, he would have no problems telling you. His saying "But, wait...I want you!" reeks of manipulation. I dated a guy like that, he wanted a "no strings" thing but if we were out at a show and a guy started talking to me he would get all possessive--like "back off she's mine..." when I really wasn't. And he freaked out when I started dating someone else too.

**Waves hands all up here**

All of this...plus you know you're playing games with him too, right? What reason did you have to tell him about new dude other than to make him realize what he's losing. F-that noise. A real relationship should be built on trust and honesty. And why would you want someone who only wants you after he's made aware someone else is interested?

Out of total curiosity, did you ditch the new guy for this bs?

She said she called the new guy and "he understood" so I am thinking, yes, she did.

You know, I am always on here all "Date if you feel ready!  There is no standard time limit!"  But, no more.  No one on SO can ever date until they go through a psychological evaluation done by this board.  It will include questions like:

1-If a guy pees in your bed because he is an alcoholic, will you continue dating him?

2-Are you so desperate to date that a guy being jealous after he tried to manipulate you into fucking him seems sweet?

3-Do you want to date?  Either answer means no.  You can't date.

[pinkdutchtulips]

The Tinder gods placed my oil tanker fling from January back into my feed. Why not swipe right ? 3 hrs later HE swiped right !

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jun 3, 2016 11:12:02 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jun 3, 2016 10:55:24 GMT -5 doriswe said:

**Waves hands all up here**

All of this...plus you know you're playing games with him too, right? What reason did you have to tell him about new dude other than to make him realize what he's losing. F-that noise. A real relationship should be built on trust and honesty. And why would you want someone who only wants you after he's made aware someone else is interested?

Out of total curiosity, did you ditch the new guy for this bs?

She said she called the new guy and "he understood" so I am thinking, yes, she did.

You know, I am always on here all "Date if you feel ready!  There is no standard time limit!"  But, no more.  No one on SO can ever date until they go through a psychological evaluation done by this board.  It will include questions like:

1-If a guy pees in your bed because he is an alcoholic, will you continue dating him?

2-Are you so desperate to date that a guy being jealous after he tried to manipulate you into fucking him seems sweet?

3-Do you want to date?  Either answer means no.  You can't date.

#2 reminds me of my xh ... DO NOT GO THERE unless dating a jealous, controlling, manipulating, possessive guy is your thing

[Deleted]

I'm doing a manager investigation on a harassment case.

From a previous experience of being harassed (within my current company), nothing will be done since the victim didn't tell the harasser the action was not wanted. It pisses me off. I THINK the person who made the harassing comments will have some sort of training done and a verbal reprimand. But nothing substantial.

Also, I swear i set up auto pay on my chase cc. I got a email saying they haven't received payment. I forgot my password. I put in all the correct info (SS and card #) to gain access and they say they can't locate me or my account. This happened last time and I had to call and spend 30 mins on the phone. I want to close my card over this shit.

[jojoandleo]

Jun 3, 2016 12:37:37 GMT -5 mp said:

jojoandleo can you change the title? lol. It's driving me nuts.

I didn't even notice it! I did just have to change the damn batteries in this stupid wireless keyboard, so I am blaming that.

[1confused1]

Probably not flameful, but xh and I went to court yesterday regarding custody/visitation. He totally expected to get every single thing he asked for, which was not the case at all, the mediator and judge saw right through his bullshit.

It was rather gratifying.  

[cuddlyevil]

Someone has been making an awful lot of requests for one of the schedules I do at work. He made one for next month, basically he'll be working but "it's better if I don't carry the pager". I deserve props for a) not asking why it's better if he doesn't carry it and b) telling him to suck it up. But he might be reaching BEC level with the requests because they seem to change rather more frequently than they should and it's frustrating.

[Deleted]

I've been consuming a lot of pot lately. It's honestly the only thing that is able to quell my anxiety so that I'm losing my mind. I've actually noticed it has vastly improved my dating and friendships. I'm much chiller and I think finally able to react and see things as a "normal" person. It also means I'm no loner self medicating with wine. And if I'm high I don't get angry/depressed like I do with wine, I'm just happy and content. But yea I eat like 1-2 candies every day

[doriswe]

Jun 3, 2016 15:23:30 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Probably not flameful, but xh and I went to court yesterday regarding custody/visitation. He totally expected to get every single thing he asked for, which was not the case at all, the mediator and judge saw right through his bullshit.

It was rather gratifying.  

YEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! 

[Deleted]

PDQ
The past few days and a few days next week, I have to work with some patients that have the same type of cancer that my stepdad passed away from.   It is upsetting the hell out of me.  I have never felt upset in this way in relation to patients in my career.  Like I had to fight tears at work and I just cried in the shower when I got home thinking about all that my stepdad and my family went through.  It's been two and a half years and I'm still having a hard time with the loss.

This will not be part of my new position permanently, I will work with general oncology which I am ok with.
I have to get through this and I don't know what the hell to do and how to deal.  

[Deleted]

@pdx18, I'm not well versed in edibles.  Do they have the same effect?  I'm glad you're feeling good.

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2016 18:36:23 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Jun 3, 2016 18:27:01 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

I'm sorry. We have clients who are hospice patients. I don't know if this will help, but I try to focus on the fact that your empathy makes you a better care provider. It will hurt you like hell, but you will give a tenderness, a true warmth and a touch that those who don't know their struggle will only emulate. Please allow yourself to feel that hurt and hopefully focus on how you can improve their time with you.

Thank you for being a health care provider who hasn't lost your feeling. It's hard.

Thanks.  I've been in healthcare for over a decade and it's VERY rare for me to actually get upset like this.  Of course things are sad, but I can empathize without it actually effecting me.  
This is something that is just still an open sore for me, I guess.  
ETA: can you delete the quote please?

[Deleted]

@blueyes623 I haven't really smoked much, but my friends tell me it's a little different. The amount I take usually doesn't make me feel too out of it unless I double it up.

[FormerlyRR]

I am eating grocery store sushi for dinner.