ST

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

If you have a meeting with her to discuss it, and she's very new, I'm sure it's warranted for you to point out things in your company's culture that need to be addressed.

[mrsukyankee]

I would talk to them both about total company sensitivity training but I'd also single out your supervisor because that's horrible - you don't know who else might not be able to say something AND has a child or relative with mental or physical issues.

[chickens987]

Oh wow, milsaroo, I didn't realize you work for my old boss!

I'd bring up specific examples to the HR person of things you have heard said - you don't need to single her out specifically, but I'd be clear with the terms/phrases used that are not ok so that those things can be addressed in the training.

[momin2013]

I would have no qualms calling her out about it directly when it happens. Maybe you've downplayed your reaction a bit, which could be why it might have gone over her head? You don't need to be rude about it, but I think it's perfectly acceptable to say something like "That phrase is inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable." Say it with a completely straight face, don't try to lighten it by smiling or anything. Maybe she'll get it if you respond that way every time it happens?

[anlo]

Jul 6, 2016 6:46:03 GMT -5 mrsukyankee said:

I would talk to them both about total company sensitivity training but I'd also single out your supervisor because that's horrible - you don't know who else might not be able to say something AND has a child or relative with mental or physical issues.

Agreed. I'll own being sensitive due to my own circumstances, but I would not have a problem reporting her to HR. You have asked her to stop and she hasn't.

[sandyapples]

Why don't you want to single her out? You have told her multiple times it is in appropriate. I learned not to call things retarded in grade school 25 years ago, there is no way she doesn't know it's offensive.

If she ignored you telling her directly, I would expect her to ignore company-wide sensitivity training too. And she said something made her want to slit her wrists when your co-worker's child recently commuted suicide! That is so beyond appropriate. She needs a meeting with HR yesterday.

[marie]

Jul 6, 2016 10:00:25 GMT -5 sandyapples said:

Why don't you want to single her out? You have told her multiple times it is in appropriate. I learned not to call things retarded in grade school 25 years ago, there is no way she doesn't know it's offensive.

If she ignored you telling her directly, I would expect her to ignore company-wide sensitivity training too. And she said something made her want to slit her wrists when your co-worker's child recently commuted suicide! That is so beyond appropriate. She needs a meeting with HR yesterday.

I agree to this... she already ignored the message.  I am sure the general company wide sensitivity training will not drive the point home for her either.  I know how you feel about not wanting to single her out, but she will not get it if she has not yet.  I am positive that you are not the only person who has let her know it is not okay.  What adult can go through life saying things like that and not be corrected a time or two?!?

[berbles]

I had a history teacher in HS who did the exact same thing. He regularly called students retarded and called our entire class The Davis Center Project. The David Center was our school's program for mentally challenged kids. He would gleefully talk about how we were a guinea pig class of "retards" who they put in a regular classroom.

He also referred to a girl who wasn't in class when he started talking about the battle of the bulge.

I was so torn. He was otherwise a great teacher, and was super nice to me most of the time. He'd also been teaching at the school for 30+ years. I went to my peer counseling teacher and, without using his name, basically ratted him out. It was very obvious who I was talking about, even if I didn't use his name.

He ended up retiring at the end of the year. At least a year earlier than he had planned.

Then they named the baseball field after him. 


Lucy Honeychurch do you remember Mr. Sissler? I bet you do.


ETA: Oh, he also called students fags on a regular basis.

[bex1973]

Jul 6, 2016 6:43:29 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

 she clearly doesn't realize what she's saying is inappropriate. 

How can she not know? She just doesn't care/acknowledge she's being shitty. 

[Lucy Honeychurch]

Jul 6, 2016 12:16:57 GMT -5 berbles said:

I had a history teacher in HS who did the exact same thing. He regularly called students retarded and called our entire class The Davis Center Project. The David Center was our school's program for mentally challenged kids. He would gleefully talk about how we were a guinea pig class of "retards" who they put in a regular classroom.

He also referred to a girl who wasn't in class when he started talking about the battle of the bulge.

I was so torn. He was otherwise a great teacher, and was super nice to me most of the time. He'd also been teaching at the school for 30+ years. I went to my peer counseling teacher and, without using his name, basically ratted him out. It was very obvious who I was talking about, even if I didn't use his name.

He ended up retiring at the end of the year. At least a year earlier than he had planned.

Then they named the baseball field after him. 


Lucy Honeychurch do you remember Mr. Sissler? I bet you do.


ETA: Oh, he also called students fags on a regular basis.

OMG, Coach Sissler.  That guy was fucking vile.

[berbles]

Jul 6, 2016 12:24:36 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Jul 6, 2016 12:16:57 GMT -5 berbles said:

I had a history teacher in HS who did the exact same thing. He regularly called students retarded and called our entire class The Davis Center Project. The David Center was our school's program for mentally challenged kids. He would gleefully talk about how we were a guinea pig class of "retards" who they put in a regular classroom.

He also referred to a girl who wasn't in class when he started talking about the battle of the bulge.

I was so torn. He was otherwise a great teacher, and was super nice to me most of the time. He'd also been teaching at the school for 30+ years. I went to my peer counseling teacher and, without using his name, basically ratted him out. It was very obvious who I was talking about, even if I didn't use his name.

He ended up retiring at the end of the year. At least a year earlier than he had planned.

Then they named the baseball field after him. 


Lucy Honeychurch do you remember Mr. Sissler? I bet you do.


ETA: Oh, he also called students fags on a regular basis.

OMG, Coach Sissler.  That guy was fucking vile.

Mmmmhmmm. And now the baseball field is Sissler Field. Hooray.

[Captain Serious]

Jul 6, 2016 12:16:57 GMT -5 berbles said:

I had a history teacher in HS who did the exact same thing. ...

He also referred to a girl who wasn't in class when he started talking about the battle of the bulge.

I was so torn. He was otherwise a great teacher, and was super nice to me most of the time. ...

ETA: Oh, he also called students fags on a regular basis.

We had a teacher in my middle school that made similar of color jokes. And everyone loved him because he was a great and funny and light-hearted.

It was later uncovered that he has a history of raping his barely pubescent female students.