No, you're right. That's pretty much what the GT school said. They have counsellors who help these kids deal with life. They score off the charts, but one girl melts down everyday because she can't handle transitions. It was both frightening and reassuring to see his classmates at the open house.
That makes so much sense lol! My middle one seems to have those issues and is also very smart. My oldest is bright but average bright and handles life so much better lol!
When I'm irritated with DH, I tell him that he's the dumbest smart person I know. Drives me crazy. I'm a mean wife. SaveSave
That makes so much sense lol! My middle one seems to have those issues and is also very smart. My oldest is bright but average bright and handles life so much better lol!
When I'm irritated with DH, I tell him that he's the dumbest smart person I know. Drives me crazy. I'm a mean wife. SaveSave
I've posted about DS1's fascination with Halloween and planning his and his brothers costumes. Since November he has insisted he's going as Dracula and brother is going as a "ghost of a lighthouse keeper". I *finally* convinced him it would be way more fun (and insanely easier for me) if DS2 was baby Frankenstein. So we're going to Disneyland as Dracula, Frankenstein, and DH and I are wearing Jack and Sally shirts.
This kid is so obsessed with Halloween and vampires it's a little frightening. DH and I joke that he'll request a trench coat or velvet clothing for Christmas.
Post by vanillacourage on Sept 16, 2016 12:00:35 GMT -5
I have a serious question. DS2 is 4.5 and is in the preschool class at his daycare. I do drop-off in the AM. There's a boy in his class who clearly has special needs - it seems like autism, but I'm obviously unsure & not an expert. Most days when I drop off this boy is sitting by himself on the "circle time" rug, cross-legged, rocking back and forth and loudly moaning/yelling. The teachers leave him be and let him sit and rock - even when it's crazy-loud in the class (and he's yelling at top volume) they don't seem to intervene. Admittedly I only see it a few minutes at a time and have absolutely no clue what's going on with the kiddo or what his parents might have instructed the school to do, but is this odd to anyone else?
I had put off Hunter's 7 year well check because he's terrified of needles. I finally took him last week, and he was so nervous throughout the entire appt because he knew he was getting the flu shot. He refused to speak in his normal voice, and would only speak with a strange accent (which he has never behaved like this before). When it came time for his shot (little sister went first and was the weirdo excited for a shot), he ran to the corner. After the nurse and I tried to coax him to the bed,I finally had to carry him over, while he is kicking and screaming. 7 year olds are strong! The 2 of us had to hold him down, while he was flailing and screaming. Afterwards, he was like "I did good, right??" He still got stickers and lollipop, lol.
THEN, the kids & I had to go and pick up my H's birthday cake from Baskin Robbins after the doctor visit. This is the worst BR ever & the only one in town. Everyone I know avoids this place, because the service is so terrible. Even if you are the only customer inside or in the drive thru, you'll be there at least 20 minutes. I go in, pick up the polar pizza I ordered and bought online. I was just trying to get out of there quickly, so I didn't look at it. I get home, open it up, and it looks like barf pizza. It's as if they tried to make it look terrible.
I thought those were boobs, not the kid sign. So of course I had to look
Anywho... I was terrified of my pediatric dentist, supposedly the best in the area. He'd slap me for crying, call me a baby, as he pulled teeth, and I wasnt fully numbed most of the time (I had a lot of teeth pulled over the years).
So maybe your kid had a really bad experience(s). It was only a couple years ago I was able to go to the dentist without shaking.
I had put off Hunter's 7 year well check because he's terrified of needles. I finally took him last week, and he was so nervous throughout the entire appt because he knew he was getting the flu shot. He refused to speak in his normal voice, and would only speak with a strange accent (which he has never behaved like this before). When it came time for his shot (little sister went first and was the weirdo excited for a shot), he ran to the corner. After the nurse and I tried to coax him to the bed,I finally had to carry him over, while he is kicking and screaming. 7 year olds are strong! The 2 of us had to hold him down, while he was flailing and screaming. Afterwards, he was like "I did good, right??" He still got stickers and lollipop, lol.
THEN, the kids & I had to go and pick up my H's birthday cake from Baskin Robbins after the doctor visit. This is the worst BR ever & the only one in town. Everyone I know avoids this place, because the service is so terrible. Even if you are the only customer inside or in the drive thru, you'll be there at least 20 minutes. I go in, pick up the polar pizza I ordered and bought online. I was just trying to get out of there quickly, so I didn't look at it. I get home, open it up, and it looks like barf pizza. It's as if they tried to make it look terrible.
OMG, please submit that to cakewrecks. That's amazing.
There is no such thing as stupid questions. Just stupid people.
I'm telling you. My nerves are shot. I've honestly stopped answering her questions to force her to find the answer on her own. I swear fo' GAWD it's like talking to a 4 yr old.
Yesterday I was hella busy and told her to cross check an item. This morning, I get in the office and she's like a kid squealing in glee because she found the answer.
I am so spent by needy people myself that I have nothing here except empathetic frustration.
I hope you have a nice drink or sex or something to relieve the nerves tonight when you get home.
I have a serious question. DS2 is 4.5 and is in the preschool class at his daycare. I do drop-off in the AM. There's a boy in his class who clearly has special needs - it seems like autism, but I'm obviously unsure & not an expert. Most days when I drop off this boy is sitting by himself on the "circle time" rug, cross-legged, rocking back and forth and loudly moaning/yelling. The teachers leave him be and let him sit and rock - even when it's crazy-loud in the class (and he's yelling at top volume) they don't seem to intervene. Admittedly I only see it a few minutes at a time and have absolutely no clue what's going on with the kiddo or what his parents might have instructed the school to do, but is this odd to anyone else?
I've observed the same in DD's class with a special needs child the same age on occasion. I love our daycare so much that initially I thought it was odd but then I decided it must be a non-issue and they know what they are doing or are following parents' instructions, but now I'm wondering.
No, seriously. My husband has an Ivy League engineering PhD and can barely tie his shoes. I'm convinced all his energy is used being smart and there's nothing left for common sense.
No, you're right. That's pretty much what the GT school said. They have counsellors who help these kids deal with life. They score off the charts, but one girl melts down everyday because she can't handle transitions. It was both frightening and reassuring to see his classmates at the open house.
GT kids - truly gifted kids - are as at risk as children who have learning disabilities or other issues for falling through the cracks at school from what I understand. It's good that they are aware and have that support for the kids! A lot of times it feels like, oh they're smart, they'll be fine, which isn't really true.
I saw more mean girl behavior among my daughter's girl friends at ages four through six than I do now at nine, if that gives you any hope.
It does! So is this something I need to shut down now or is this something that is ok to ride out and let her grow out of? Her teacher says she goes out of her way to be inclusive to everyone so "girl team" isn't a "you're in, you're out" thing evidently. I think it's a "girl vs boy" thing. It might be worth a reminder, though.
My only suggestion, because every kid and circumstance is different, is to check in now and then to see if that is still the case, and to encourage it. And to reward her when you see her including others and making sure they aren't left out. I have been told by teachers that my DD is extraordinarily sweet, inclusive, and kind to others, and she has been awarded the caring award by her peers many times over the years (out of all the students, who is the most caring...). I know that I have made a concerted effort to encourage her to reach out to that kid sitting alone, or teach her how to deal with people with disabilities in a way that is helpful but not demeaning, or make sure she is judging someone based on the inside not the outside..... basically teaching her to be everything BUT a mean girl. Seems to be working so far.
But I over analyze things so I'm the wrong person to ask about letting something ride, ha! It's entirely possible you could do that and your daughter would still be exactly the same as she is without intervention.
TODAY MY SASSY IS SIX!!!!!!! I have been running around like crazy today because I volunteered for her picture day today and got ice cream for her class for her birthday, so I haven't had much time to feel sorry for myself, and weep for the years when she was with me every single moment of the day.
Anyway... this popped up in my memories on facebook today. 5 years ago, she turned 1 and I can hardly believe it.
I don't keep up with my blog anymore, but I am so glad I have this. My baby... the time has flown.
It does! So is this something I need to shut down now or is this something that is ok to ride out and let her grow out of? Her teacher says she goes out of her way to be inclusive to everyone so "girl team" isn't a "you're in, you're out" thing evidently. I think it's a "girl vs boy" thing. It might be worth a reminder, though.
My only suggestion, because every kid and circumstance is different, is to check in now and then to see if that is still the case, and to encourage it. And to reward her when you see her including others and making sure they aren't left out. I have been told by teachers that my DD is extraordinarily sweet, inclusive, and kind to others, and she has been awarded the caring award by her peers many times over the years (out of all the students, who is the most caring...). I know that I have made a concerted effort to encourage her to reach out to that kid sitting alone, or teach her how to deal with people with disabilities in a way that is helpful but not demeaning, or make sure she is judging someone based on the inside not the outside..... basically teaching her to be everything BUT a mean girl. Seems to be working so far.
But I over analyze things so I'm the wrong person to ask about letting something ride, ha! It's entirely possible you could do that and your daughter would still be exactly the same as she is without intervention.
That was super helpful, huh?
Lol no that's helpful. My gut was telling me I should probably check in to make sure she is still being inclusive. It never hurts to remind her.
I have a serious question. DS2 is 4.5 and is in the preschool class at his daycare. I do drop-off in the AM. There's a boy in his class who clearly has special needs - it seems like autism, but I'm obviously unsure & not an expert. Most days when I drop off this boy is sitting by himself on the "circle time" rug, cross-legged, rocking back and forth and loudly moaning/yelling. The teachers leave him be and let him sit and rock - even when it's crazy-loud in the class (and he's yelling at top volume) they don't seem to intervene. Admittedly I only see it a few minutes at a time and have absolutely no clue what's going on with the kiddo or what his parents might have instructed the school to do, but is this odd to anyone else?
I've observed the same in DD's class with a special needs child the same age on occasion. I love our daycare so much that initially I thought it was odd but then I decided it must be a non-issue and they know what they are doing or are following parents' instructions, but now I'm wondering.
It's possible the kid is having a problem that isn't getting the attention it deserves, but it's equally possible that this is a kid who needs extra space and time to deal with transitions (since they're often a problem for ASD kids), and especially this early in the school year when there's probably been a recent shift in routine I'd lean toward the latter. I know my niece and nephew have both exhibited similar behavior, and depending on the circumstances (and which kid it was) sometimes my sister has to steer them to a safe place (like the circle time rug) just let them be for a bit.
I have a serious question. DS2 is 4.5 and is in the preschool class at his daycare. I do drop-off in the AM. There's a boy in his class who clearly has special needs - it seems like autism, but I'm obviously unsure & not an expert. Most days when I drop off this boy is sitting by himself on the "circle time" rug, cross-legged, rocking back and forth and loudly moaning/yelling. The teachers leave him be and let him sit and rock - even when it's crazy-loud in the class (and he's yelling at top volume) they don't seem to intervene. Admittedly I only see it a few minutes at a time and have absolutely no clue what's going on with the kiddo or what his parents might have instructed the school to do, but is this odd to anyone else?
I think sometimes, trying to curb those behaviors can make it worse or cause a meltdown. I know that rocking back and forth can be soothing, and it has been my experience with both of my kids that often it seems like that is what they are supposed to do (just let it be). I don't know enough about it to say why or if that's for sure the case, but it is pretty common in my experience, especially at transition type times (drop off, pick up, etc.).
No, you're right. That's pretty much what the GT school said. They have counsellors who help these kids deal with life. They score off the charts, but one girl melts down everyday because she can't handle transitions. It was both frightening and reassuring to see his classmates at the open house.
GT kids - truly gifted kids - are as at risk as children who have learning disabilities or other issues for falling through the cracks at school from what I understand. It's good that they are aware and have that support for the kids! A lot of times it feels like, oh they're smart, they'll be fine, which isn't really true.
GT kid here. In a grownup body. Who sometimes wonders if she is on a spectrum because of not being the best at always relating to others as easily as "the norm."
The difference is, when you are a grownup, no one really cares.
I love school programs that help the GT kids figure out how to deal with the fact that their intellect may be really far ahead of their EQ, or that they may not get inferences from others as easily as an "average" or "above average" kid would because those behavioral instincts for others aren't the same for them. It's a challenging thing to know about oneself.
I'm so frustrated with my kid right now, and I feel bad because I shouldn't be, but he works himself up into a full blown panic attack every time we go to the dentist. It's a fucking nightmare. He has two baby teeth that refuse to come out and is screwing with his alignment. The dentist couldn't even touch him before he'd freak out. We were there for forty five minutes and NOTHING was done! Nothing! I got up at six am for that shit. The dentist said my options are to strap him to a fucking board, or PUT HIM UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA! Really?!? Come on, dude, you're NINE! Fucking deal! And THEN you know what that fucking kid did? HE GOT ONE OUT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL! And bled all over the seat of my brand new car. Omg I wanted to kill him this morning.
Did he have a bad experience?
I was never afraid of the dentist until the last time I went. I had a very bad reaction to the lidocaine and now I start sweating thinking about having to go back.
I'm going to listen to one of those calming meditative youtube videos before going in and try to keep it going in my mind.
Maybe he needs to be put under General and see that he can go, get through it, and it will be nothing big when he wakes up so he can feel a little calmer the next time?
I've observed the same in DD's class with a special needs child the same age on occasion. I love our daycare so much that initially I thought it was odd but then I decided it must be a non-issue and they know what they are doing or are following parents' instructions, but now I'm wondering.
It's possible the kid is having a problem that isn't getting the attention it deserves, but it's equally possible that this is a kid who needs extra space and time to deal with transitions (since they're often a problem for ASD kids), and especially this early in the school year when there's probably been a recent shift in routine I'd lean toward the latter. I know my niece and nephew have both exhibited similar behavior, and depending on the circumstances (and which kid it was) sometimes my sister has to steer them to a safe place (like the circle time rug) just let them be for a bit.
Ok. This makes sense in the context of my daughter's school since its drop off and/or the transition from breakfast to instructional time.
I took my kid to daycare this morning and I was helping him get settled with his breakfast like I do every day. He looked at me and said "I want you to leave me now." Thanks, kid.
GT kids - truly gifted kids - are as at risk as children who have learning disabilities or other issues for falling through the cracks at school from what I understand. It's good that they are aware and have that support for the kids! A lot of times it feels like, oh they're smart, they'll be fine, which isn't really true.
GT kid here. In a grownup body. Who sometimes wonders if she is on a spectrum because of not being the best at always relating to others as easily as "the norm."
The difference is, when you are a grownup, no one really cares.
I love school programs that help the GT kids figure out how to deal with the fact that their intellect may be really far ahead of their EQ, or that they may not get inferences from others as easily as an "average" or "above average" kid would because those behavioral instincts for others aren't the same for them. It's a challenging thing to know about oneself.
Thank you and eclaires for this, because I had the thought at his open house that it seemed like a special needs class for kids on the spectrum and I was thoroughly ashamed of myself. But I guess it is kind of like that. I was surprised to learn that lots of GT kids have these same traits and issues as Ben, and I'm so grateful he's in a program to support him.
I'm so frustrated with my kid right now, and I feel bad because I shouldn't be, but he works himself up into a full blown panic attack every time we go to the dentist. It's a fucking nightmare. He has two baby teeth that refuse to come out and is screwing with his alignment. The dentist couldn't even touch him before he'd freak out. We were there for forty five minutes and NOTHING was done! Nothing! I got up at six am for that shit. The dentist said my options are to strap him to a fucking board, or PUT HIM UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA! Really?!? Come on, dude, you're NINE! Fucking deal! And THEN you know what that fucking kid did? HE GOT ONE OUT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL! And bled all over the seat of my brand new car. Omg I wanted to kill him this morning.
Did he have a bad experience?
I was never afraid of the dentist until the last time I went. I had a very bad reaction to the lidocaine and now I start sweating thinking about having to go back.
I'm going to listen to one of those calming meditative youtube videos before going in and try to keep it going in my mind.
Maybe he needs to be put under General and see that he can go, get through it, and it will be nothing big when he wakes up so he can feel a little calmer the next time?
He didn't have an objectively bad experience, but yes, the anxiety has made each trip a nightmare. And it's definitely spiraled over the years.
This is not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:
1. Process internally 2. Problem Solve 3. Research an Issue
In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.
Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.
Signed - Their Future Co-Workers
Dude, this drives me crazy from my six year old. Nah, baby. You try to figure it out first, THEN come to me if you can't. Try for real, not that kind of trying better suited for a product sold as seen on tv commercial.