New job micro aggressions

[DesertMoon]

Just recently started working (dental assistant)

I haven't worked in 6 years so I was really excited to get back out there.

But man you'd think people have never seen a POC before. FFS people are so damn curious and "interested"

Aside from the daily questions of my background which are annoying but not exactly insulting I got this gem today...

A lady was already seated and with an assistant (the one that is training me) I walked in smiled and held out an instrument for her to take apart (she knows my fingers for some reason can never take the top of this piece) so she just does it, no words exchanged, the patient watches and says
"oh is she an exchange student?" "Honey do you speak any English?" "I am not comfortable with her working on me"

I still have said nothing and the other assistant says

"no she's not an exchange student or any kind of student she's a new hire, and don't worry she's too busy to work on you right now. and she says

"oh how's your English sweetie?"

I was on fire by then And just walked up to her and gently placed my hand on this simple bitches shoulder and said "well my English is absolutely perfect, thanks for your concern over my vocabulary, I'll try harder to look like I speak English next time."

She said "oh wow I'm sorry you look so "exotic it's beautiful really, are from South America?

I just said uh...no I'm from Detroit and walked away...

Sorry for the long ass rant I forgot this shit happens to me too because I never go out. I literally said nothing and she assumed I was an exchange student that speaks no English and therefore not worthy to suction the spit out of her rank ass mouth.

[andwhat]

What is wrong with people? Every day I am amazed it is 2016.

[meshaliuknits]

OMG. Dude. People. PEOPLE.

[DesertMoon]

I'm only half brown...I can't imagine what other POC deal with on the regular. It's like I have a sign that says

Hey look at me! Aren't I different? ask me EXACTLY how different I am until I say something that makes you feel connected to me like... "Oh I'm middle eastern" so you can reply "omg my sister dated a Pakistani guy once, he was so nice! I love curry"

FYI someone in COLLEGE actually said that to me, and when I explained the huge difference between a Pakistani person and an ME person they replied with, and I shit you not..

"Oh same difference"

[sfy]

GMAFB! How are people still this gross and stupid? I'm sorry .

[kicks]

People are so fucking dumb and ignorant. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's the worse in professional setting with patients. Fuck people.

[cookiemdough]

Lol that she says I don't want her working on me assuming you don't understand what she is saying.

What a bitch. I would poke her gums till they bled.

[andwhat]

Nov 4, 2016 6:56:02 GMT -5 @natariru said:

I would have worked on her teeth. REALLY AGGRESSIVELY. The sad part is that she doesn't think she did anything wrong.

No one ever "accepts" the I'm from NJ answer from me. "No really, where are you from?" NEW JERSEY! I have never lived anywhere else!

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "you must like butt sex" from men when I'd tell them I'm Brazilian. Seriously. More than I could count on both hands.

I am black, 100% as far as I know, and I get that all the time. I have no idea what people think I look like.

[DesertMoon]

Nov 4, 2016 6:56:02 GMT -5 @natariru said:

I would have worked on her teeth. REALLY AGGRESSIVELY. The sad part is that she doesn't think she did anything wrong.

No one ever "accepts" the I'm from NJ answer from me. "No really, where are you from?" NEW JERSEY! I have never lived anywhere else!

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "you must like butt sex" from men when I'd tell them I'm Brazilian. Seriously. More than I could count on both hands.

Wtf where did butt sex come from? I hope you slap them all.

[DesertMoon]

Nov 4, 2016 6:34:49 GMT -5 kicks said:

People are so fucking dumb and ignorant. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's the worse in professional setting with patients. Fuck people.

She didn't think she did anything wrong!

She told the assistant "I hope she wasn't offended, I was just saying how lovely her bone structure was" really bitch bone structure? Because I have a small face, square chin and high cheek bones I don't speak English?

[lovelyshoes]

I hear that all the time, especially after people hear/see my name. Where are you from? No really, where are you Really from? Or one my favorites "I Knew there was something different about you!" I have so many stories about this stuff including from people in professional setting giving me "advice" to change my name so I can blend "right in." No thanks.

I hope you never have to work on that hideous bitch. Maybe take a note of her name so you are at least aware when she is on the schedule.

[DesertMoon]

Nov 4, 2016 8:20:09 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Nov 4, 2016 8:11:54 GMT -5 DesertMoon said:

Wtf where did butt sex come from? I hope you slap them all.

Porn. Brazilians = big butts = butt sex.

People do know porn does not equal reality right?

[iammalcolmx]

I hate people. Just wanted to put that out there!!

[raangoli]

Nov 4, 2016 6:56:02 GMT -5 @natariru said:

No one ever "accepts" the I'm from NJ answer from me. "No really, where are you from?" NEW JERSEY! I have never lived anywhere else!

This happens to me all the f-ing time. ALL THE TIME. I AM FROM NJ YOU MORONS!!

[redwino]

That racist bitch! I was praying through your story that you said something to her. I'd hope that she feels like shit but I know she doesnt. I'm sorry she ruined your excitement about the new job.

[meshaliuknits]

Nov 4, 2016 0:41:08 GMT -5 DesertMoon said:

I'm only half brown...I can't imagine what other POC deal with on the regular. It's like I have a sign that says

Hey look at me! Aren't I different? ask me EXACTLY how different I am until I say something that makes you feel connected to me like... "Oh I'm middle eastern" so you can reply "omg my sister dated a Pakistani guy once, he was so nice! I love curry"

FYI someone in COLLEGE actually said that to me, and when I explained the huge difference between a Pakistani person and an ME person they replied with, and I shit you not..

"Oh same difference"

What happened after you hit her?

I mean, you must have. Because I'm reading that 2nd hand and years later and my hand curled into a fist.

[meshaliuknits]

Nov 4, 2016 8:54:01 GMT -5 lovelyshoes said:

I hear that all the time, especially after people hear/see my name. Where are you from? No really, where are you Really from? Or one my favorites "I Knew there was something different about you!" I have so many stories about this stuff including from people in professional setting giving me "advice" to change my name so I can blend "right in." No thanks.

I hope you never have to work on that hideous bitch. Maybe take a note of her name so you are at least aware when she is on the schedule.

*hand curls into fist*

[dr.girlfriend]

I am so sorry you had to deal with that ignorance. That is straight-up ridic. I have a very Indian maiden name, and still keep it as my middle name but married into a very "vanilla" last name (the name of my husband's mother's first husband, no relation to us actually). Before the name change, at least a few patients a month would request to be changed once they heard they were scheduled with Dr. _______. I had to give our scheduler a script, so that if they said, "I'm not comfortable with someone who got trained in India" she could say "her graduate degree is from the University of California" or if they said, "I'm worried I won't understand her accent" they could say, "she has an American accent, as she was born and raised in the United States." Seriously, do I go around asking every person with the last name Pulaski if they speak with a Polish accent? People are duuuuuuummmmmbbb.

[sfy]

Nov 4, 2016 6:56:02 GMT -5 @natariru said:

can't tell you how many times I've heard "you must like butt sex" from men when I'd tell them I'm Brazilian. Seriously. More than I could count on both hands.

If looks could kill.

[kicks]

I'm sitting here on the computer doing a note on a patient. A (white) nurse is sitting directly across from me.

A patients family member walked past the nurse and directly to me to ask if I could get her a cup of water. The nurse immediately jumped up and said sure I can get you water.

I'm definitely not above getting anyone water but the assumption that I'm the "help" happens on the regular. Maybe sometimes it's a coincidence but it's such a mind fuck to have to be worrying about these instances all the damn time.

[andwhat]

This thread is infuriating me. I am pissed for you kicks

[thejackpot]

People fucking suck. I am so livid for you

[Saint Monica]

Ahhhh, exotic Detroit.

[redwino]

kicks it's rarely a coincidence. People ain't shit.

[DesertMoon]

Nov 5, 2016 13:39:07 GMT -5 @natariru said:

DesertMoon I'm sorry I didn't say congrats on working again though! How do you feel despite the assholes that surround you? Lol

It's great I love it thanks!! I'm excited

[skwcm80]

I'm so, so sorry that happened to you ladies DesertMoon and kicks.

[pbandj]

Wow, so sorry you had to deal with that.

[pbandj]

Nov 4, 2016 11:08:37 GMT -5 raangoli said:

Nov 4, 2016 6:56:02 GMT -5 @natariru said:

No one ever "accepts" the I'm from NJ answer from me. "No really, where are you from?" NEW JERSEY! I have never lived anywhere else!

This happens to me all the f-ing time. ALL THE TIME. I AM FROM NJ YOU MORONS!!

Yes, this has happened to me too, many times.

[kicks]

This morning this patient whom told the whole staff yesterday to vote for Clinton just questioned where I'm from.

She was on the phone with her mom and said "the doctor is here, I think she's from Africa, maybe Jamaica." I said no I'm from America.

Then going through the exam she said my accent sounded like I was from somewhere, like the islands. I said I'm from Maryland. She kept going on and I seriously raised my voice and said no I'm American and walked out the room.

What in the actual fuck. I can't even with any white people at all.

[DesertMoon]

Nov 9, 2016 8:41:23 GMT -5 kicks said:

This morning this patient whom told the whole staff yesterday to vote for Clinton just questioned where I'm from.

She was on the phone with her mom and said "the doctor is here, I think she's from Africa, maybe Jamaica." I said no I'm from America.

Then going through the exam she said my accent sounded like I was from somewhere, like the islands. I said I'm from Maryland. She kept going on and I seriously raised my voice and said no I'm American and walked out the room.

What in the actual fuck. I can't even with any white people at all.

And here I was talking about "micro" aggressions. What's coming next will be incomparable