Ways I can help my SO ?

[kayl84]

My SO is currently clean and having a rough time with stress. Between working crazy hours, his brother's relapse and other stressors that's have popped up..I can see it all piling on him. He's used to dealing with stress in different and unhealthy ways in the past, obviously. He also has used writing, painting and other non-using outlets in the past (before we got together).

I want to kind of nudge him back in that direction, but don't know how without seeming like I'm coming off to him as if he's going to "fail" and I can understand where it may seem as I'm judging him as well. Holidays can't be easy, hell they aren't easy and I'm not in his shoes!

Any ideas, tips, advice? I'm open to anything really. It's also the first time we will be dealing with my sister's alcoholism during the holiday and I may be feeling unsure of how to properly navigate that situation as well.

Thanks guys..

[demonrum]

I would suggest reminding him about meetings and the importance of recognizing what can be a long period of relapse behavior which can preceed actual relapse by weeks or months. Best of luck to you

[demonrum]

I have been wondering how things are going. Have things evened out over the past month?

[kayl84]

Jan 4, 2017 11:21:45 GMT -5 demonrum said:

I have been wondering how things are going. Have things evened out over the past month?

They have. Things that triggers his addiction is obviously stress. It's not something that is going to go away, but we both have taken a step back from our toxic families and putting ourselves first. I also did a last minute Christmas present purchase of canvases, paints and brushes for him. He did a lot of that when he was in a sober living facility and with the crazy work hours he just hasn't gotten back on a normal schedule. It's tough, it really is going to test his strength but I really do believe that if he wanted to he could have easily used again and has chosen not to. I'm also really afraid of one of his buddies passing away and it hitting a nerve or worse, his little brother.

I'm going through medical issues now and he's really going to have to step up as far as to be trusted around medicine and such. He's mentioned GOING to the doctor's with me to see what's all going on, so he would fully realize what he'd be doing to hurt me (in addition to going to jail and losing my trust.)

Thank you so much for asking.

[demonrum]

I am glad. Best wishes to both of you