Would you let your son join Boy Scouts?

[MrsAxilla]

Ok, but what do you tell your son when he asks? Is 5 too young to learn about bigots and why we don't support them?

[StrawberryBlondie]

My instinct is an adamant no, but honestly, I think it would likely depend on what the local den was like.

[mishap]

Sept 11, 2012 17:09:22 GMT -5 heightsyankee said:

I'm also married to an Eagle Scout. My ILs are also very involved in Scouting. My mother was a professional GS and my FIL is a Silver Beaver. All of this in to consideration, no. We will not be enrolling our kids in Scouts.

I used to have the whole "It depends on the troop" mentality because the anti-gay stance had not yet been officially adopted but when they made the official statement this year, that changed for our family.

This is where I am. I honestly can't see how you can participate and raise money for an organization that openly refuses to change its discriminatory policies, unless you agree with them. I mean, what if your son ends up being gay? It's ok with you to have him participate in a program that wouldn't accept him openly?

[Deleted]

Probably not. H feels strongly against it but my brother was heavily involved in a very liberal troop. I think we will hopefully find an alternative preferably co-ed and family-centered. Camp Fire Scouts looks promising but it's not in my area yet.

[kmpls]

Probably if he wanted.

Also just wanted to say the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are 2 totally separate organizations, they are in no way related.

I love the girl scouts and would totally encourage her to join.

[EllieArroway]

I have no idea how we will deal with this if it comes up. Our YMCA does a boy scout-like thing (I can't remember what they call it) so that's probably what we will steer him towards.

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 11, 2012 20:39:56 GMT -5 cjoy said:

Sept 11, 2012 20:05:45 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Ok, but what do you tell your son when he asks? Is 5 too young to learn about bigots and why we don't support them?

I don't think so. My kids are 5 and 3 and we've discussed it. I have a button opposing the gay marriage ban up for a vote in my state this year - they saw it and asked me about it. It can be difficult to frame it in language they understand, but not impossible.

I suppose you're right. I explained in very general terms why we can't eat at CFA anymore.

[penguingrrl]

No. DH is an Eagle Scout and so upset that they recently renewed their anti-homosexuality stance that he won't admit he's an Eagle anymore even though he used to be really proud of it. Even if I was willing to let a hypothetical son join (we don't know what #3 is, find out in Oct) he absolutely will not. We'll seek out other groups to join instead.

[Deleted]

No. Bollox to them.

[tlkdhk]

Yes.

[shouldbworkin]

DS joined last year, DH is an eagle scout and is his den leader. My goal this year is to get the whole pack to move to the Baden Powell Service Association. I really don't think these parents care, as long as their kids can wear cute uniforms, sell something and learn something they'll write the check to anyone. It's kind of crazy, but some people don't even know about the BSA's stance. still.

[Knight]

Absolutely not.

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 11, 2012 21:46:45 GMT -5 shouldbworkin said:

DS joined last year, DH is an eagle scout and is his den leader. My goal this year is to get the whole pack to move to the Baden Powell Service Association. I really don't think these parents care, as long as their kids can wear cute uniforms, sell something and learn something they'll write the check to anyone. It's kind of crazy, but some people don't even know about the BSA's stance. still.

Honestly, I'd be so down with this! Because you're right - I don't really care, so long as my kid is happy and I'm not supporting something blatantly offensive.

Maybe I should become a den mother and 'convert' the pack!

signed
/bored housewife.

[mrslefty]

Campfire boys and girls is always an option. In elementary school I was in a coed group and in middle school moved to all girls. I know the boys in our group stayed with it until high school too.

[Deleted]

I just discussed this with DH. I thought obviously our child would not be allowed to join boy scouts (because DH and I completely agree with inflicting our political views on our future children). DH seemed a leeetle waffly, basically saying that it would be OK if our local troup was not homophobic, but I would overrule him on this. We live in LA. There are a zillion other things a kid could do that do not carry a 10% risk of being told his sexual orientation is a perversion and a 100% chance of being in an organization that rejects diversity.

[mishap]

The whole "I don't want my kid to be left out" sentiment is nauseating to me.

[pinkeggs]

I actually personally know someone who was an Eagle Scout when he came out and he was asked to leave immediately. It was a huge deal in my small hometown and the guy was crushed. Boy Scouts didn't even reconsider when several leaders resigned over it.

I only have girls, but if I had a son, no, he would not participate. I won't even buy their popcorn! lol

[GailGoldie]

If my boys want to I will let them bc it's not like the local chapter is going to teach them to be homophobic and they learn tolerance at home from us.

But unless they ask I will not encourage it. And if they are anything like DH and me they won't want to anyway. We were both into sports more and so far my boys appear to e taking that road.

[shouldbworkin]

Sept 12, 2012 8:10:26 GMT -5 pinkeggs said:

I actually personally know someone who was an Eagle Scout when he came out and he was asked to leave immediately. It was a huge deal in my small hometown and the guy was crushed. Boy Scouts didn't even reconsider when several leaders resigned over it.

I only have girls, but if I had a son, no, he would not participate. I won't even buy their popcorn! lol

That is my issue with it too. That and even if my kids aren't gay, what will they think some day when they figure out I allowed them to join a group that openly wasn't accepting of all people? DS has ADHD and I love that boy scouts is a safe place for him to be himself. It's tragically ironic that the same can't be said for all kids. I really feel he can get the same support somewhere else.

[eliseb0323]

My son joined Cub Scouts last year and loves it. DH and/or I go to every meeting and event and have never seen or heard anything we would consider inappropriate or offensive. The troop is very inclusive and they did exercises/role playing on anti-bullying strategies and how to help other kids who were being bullied for any reason. Homosexuality, atheism, and politics never came up. All adult volunteers have to go through a background check. I think you have to judge the troops and troop leaders on their own merit.

While I would be very careful about leaving my kid with a Catholic priest, or in a sports program where he has to change/shower in a locker room, I am not worried about the cub scouts. DS went to scout day camp this summer. DH was there about half the time and the rest of the time another parent that we knew was with the kids.

[Deleted]

No.

[racegrrl714]

If I had a boy, no, it would not be an option.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Sept 12, 2012 8:06:25 GMT -5 mishap said:

The whole "I don't want my kid to be left out" sentiment is nauseating to me.

Well, the thought of my child being left out is nauseating to ME. So...stalemate.

[mishap]

Sept 12, 2012 11:18:36 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Sept 12, 2012 8:06:25 GMT -5 mishap said:

The whole "I don't want my kid to be left out" sentiment is nauseating to me.

Good for you -- ? I'm guessing you don't have children.

Why would you think that? I have two boys -- 6yo and 1.5yo.

[mishap]

Sept 12, 2012 11:38:09 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Lucky them. lol.

I'm not fond of the Boy Scouts' policies, either, but if KHC wants to join because he wants to be with his friends, I'm okay with that for now. I don't know why that should "nauseate" anyone.

Gay rights are a hot-button issue for me. They're obviously not for you, and that's fine. But I'm sure if it did involve an issue that you care about, a "But Moooooommmmmmmmm EVERYONE is doing it!" likely wouldn't convince you that's "okay for now."

And screw you on the "lucky them."

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Don't go around assuming that things are or aren't hot-button issues for people. Anyone here can tell you I'm extremely passionate about gay rights. But I am also extremely passionate about my child. And like I said before, IF it's a chapter that is accepting and doesn't tow the party line, and my son wants to be included, then I'm sorry, he gets to be in. I liken it to Christianity like SBP said earlier. Just because the national people have a major bigoted issue with it doesn't mean that on a local level, they all agree with said policy. It depends. And yeah, the thought of my kid being left out is nauseating.

[mishap]

Sept 12, 2012 11:46:18 GMT -5 lyssbobiss, Command, B613 said:

Don't go around assuming that things are or aren't hot-button issues for people. Anyone here can tell you I'm extremely passionate about gay rights. But I am also extremely passionate about my child. And like I said before, IF it's a chapter that is accepting and doesn't tow the party line, and my son wants to be included, then I'm sorry, he gets to be in. I liken it to Christianity like SBP said earlier. Just because the national people have a major bigoted issue with it doesn't mean that on a local level, they all agree with said policy. It depends. And yeah, the thought of my kid being left out is nauseating.

I'm also passionate about my kid, and this includes teaching him the hard lessons in life that I feel strongly about. I don't think you can compare a private organization -- an extracurricular activity -- with religion at all. They are not even close in my eyes.

In my opinion, once you don the BSA uniform, you are signifying that you are OK with their policies.

[Deleted]

I think those who say, "why not just form your own group?" seriously misunderstand how boy scouts works.

Personally, I think leaving boy scouts to the bigots up top is worse in the long run than being apart of an open, inclusive den. The more heat the BS takes when shit repeatedly hits the fan, the more they'll have to answer to these packs and dens about their policies.

Churches haven't become accepting overnight and neither will the boy scouts.

As to how one can be a member of a group that talks shit from the top about gays, well, I grew up military so . . .

[mishap]

Sept 12, 2012 11:47:33 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'm just saying, a mother who refuses to give in when they're feeling peer pressure probably sometimes --- sucks. KHC would be devastated if I didn't let him join.

I don't know your kid, so I'm not going to comment. But I'm not made of stone. I think school lunches are disgusting and made of crap (they really are at his school), but I let him buy every week because that's what the cool kids do. I let him stay up late to watch Lego Ninjago so he can compare stories with the other boys on Thursday morning, even though it means getting him to bed is a nightmare that night. I could give a million examples like this where I compromise to keep him happy, but this isn't one of them.

[mishap]

You might see it as pushing a political agenda but I see it as teaching him my values.

And I don't wear those clothes (although it's mostly because I'm poor).

ETA: It all comes down to compromise, right? Parents have to figure out which things they're going to compromise while bringing up their kids. Well, this isn't one of them for me, and I guess I should just leave it at that.