Ask and answer random questions here

[Bernadine]

What is the best way to record video now? Just on my phone?

MIL had her home VHS tapes made into DVDs for h, and I think he's really enjoying seeing and hearing his dad, who has passed. It made me realize I have very little video of my family.

Now you answer and ask your random question.

[Crystal]

I have a handheld recorder that I can then transfer to my computer. It's waterproof so we mostly use it on vacation.

How soon is it "healthy" to start dating following a divorce? I was separated but living with XH for about 2 years, divorced in 2016, moved into my place 13 months ago, and I *think* I'm ready to date, but then I back out. (fun fact - he's remarried to a chick he met online in December, so I'm sure it's OKAY to date, just not sure I'm 100% ready and can't quite figure out why).

[onomatopoeia]

If you use self tanner, do you get a separate kind for your face and your body? I'd rather not buy two bottles but if it's better to get one specifically for your face I will.

Crystal , why don't you start slow? Meet for a coffee, if it feels weird then maybe you need a bit more time. Or a different guy. There's no right answer! In the meantime, are you keeping busy with hobbies/interests you enjoy? That might help you slowly segue (sp?) meeting new guys in an organic setting and it won't feel like quite as much pressure as a "date", if that make sense. Good luck!
Bernadine, I use my phone.  I had a handheld but my phone is actually better quality and it was  again to carry around both.  I just record every day stuff though. If you are recording things like sporting events, plays, wildlife, etc. it might be nice to invest in a decent recorder.  

[Bernadine]

Jul 26, 2017 8:43:30 GMT -5 Crystal said:

I have a handheld recorder that I can then transfer to my computer. It's waterproof so we mostly use it on vacation.

How soon is it "healthy" to start dating following a divorce? I was separated but living with XH for about 2 years, divorced in 2016, moved into my place 13 months ago, and I *think* I'm ready to date, but then I back out. (fun fact - he's remarried to a chick he met online in December, so I'm sure it's OKAY to date, just not sure I'm 100% ready and can't quite figure out why).

I dated way soon, but I felt ready, and my therapist agreed that I was.

You can always go on one date to see how it feels.  If you're uncomfortable, there's no pressure to go on another one right away. 

[Crystal]

Jul 26, 2017 9:04:19 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Jul 26, 2017 8:43:30 GMT -5 Crystal said:

I have a handheld recorder that I can then transfer to my computer. It's waterproof so we mostly use it on vacation.

How soon is it "healthy" to start dating following a divorce? I was separated but living with XH for about 2 years, divorced in 2016, moved into my place 13 months ago, and I *think* I'm ready to date, but then I back out. (fun fact - he's remarried to a chick he met online in December, so I'm sure it's OKAY to date, just not sure I'm 100% ready and can't quite figure out why).

I dated way soon, but I felt ready, and my therapist agreed that I was.

You can always go on one date to see how it feels.  If you're uncomfortable, there's no pressure to go on another one right away. 

I don't know how to multi-quote, so I'll answer both here.

I have gone to lunch with a guy that wants to date but I don't see us as anything but friends.  I have been keeping busy - bought a house, making repairs, hanging out with friends, no new hobbies but enjoying old ones.  Work keeps me busy during the week. My daughter is home from college this summer, but will soon go back. 

I think it would be better if it was more organic.  I have profiles on some dating sites, and that's where I chicken out.  My XH was such an ass that I am maybe scared to pull the trigger and get back into a situation I want to run like hell from? 

I keep thinking it's strange of me to not even crave companionship after this long.  Then I just think it's because I know SO strongly what I don't want that I feel I'll be unfair and overly critical of anyone who comes along?  Hard to figure out.  But IF I get into a relationship, it needs to be a good one.  (yes, I realize I am blabbering).

[Crystal]

I can't even speak to self-tanner stuff, I'm tan naturally. I didn't want you thinking I skipped over that part!

[Bernadine]

Jul 26, 2017 9:11:18 GMT -5 Crystal said:

Jul 26, 2017 9:04:19 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

I dated way soon, but I felt ready, and my therapist agreed that I was.

You can always go on one date to see how it feels.  If you're uncomfortable, there's no pressure to go on another one right away. 

I don't know how to multi-quote, so I'll answer both here.

I have gone to lunch with a guy that wants to date but I don't see us as anything but friends.  I have been keeping busy - bought a house, making repairs, hanging out with friends, no new hobbies but enjoying old ones.  Work keeps me busy during the week. My daughter is home from college this summer, but will soon go back. 

I think it would be better if it was more organic.  I have profiles on some dating sites, and that's where I chicken out.  My XH was such an ass that I am maybe scared to pull the trigger and get back into a situation I want to run like hell from? 

I keep thinking it's strange of me to not even crave companionship after this long.  Then I just think it's because I know SO strongly what I don't want that I feel I'll be unfair and overly critical of anyone who comes along?  Hard to figure out.  But IF I get into a relationship, it needs to be a good one.  (yes, I realize I am blabbering).

These are all normal thoughts!  Did you get any counseling after your divorce?  I only went for a short time, but it was so incredibly helpful.

[shinyredsmartazz]

Crystal, I am separated, divorce isn't final yet, and I already feel ready to date just because we were checked out of our marriage long before. I actually made a FB post the other day about how one size does not fit all and everyone is different in how they feel on this, and no feeling is wrong. You do whatever feels right for you and let your instincts guide you.

My random question: How do you fit in time for relaxation? Between workouts, full-time job, and single parent to a toddler, it feels like there are no hours left! I was reading for a bit before going to bed, but now I'm seeing someone and we talk on the phone most nights. SO I know I could use that time, but where do you fit it in?

[Crystal]

Jul 26, 2017 9:16:54 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Jul 26, 2017 9:11:18 GMT -5 Crystal said:

These are all normal thoughts!  Did you get any counseling after your divorce?  I only went for a short time, but it was so incredibly helpful.

I didn't, but I really feel like I'm okay with that.  It was my idea.  I hit my limit and I was done - someone had to change, and I wasn't willing to accept cheating, so....  I thought about counseling, but really have no idea what I would say?  I will admit being a BIT bothered by the fact that he was getting married, but it was moreso because the day he met her was the day he realized for sure that I wasn't coming back (he thought I was renting my place and that I would come running back after "throwing a tantrum and teaching him a lesson" and then he found out I bought my house).  I know him and how he thinks, it was out of hurt and spite that he met her, and it was out of fear of being alone that he married her. 

Honest question:  Should I go to counseling, and if so, what for?  I have no idea where to start with that and what to say.  What do they address?

[Bernadine]

Jul 26, 2017 9:26:42 GMT -5 Crystal said:

Jul 26, 2017 9:16:54 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

These are all normal thoughts!  Did you get any counseling after your divorce?  I only went for a short time, but it was so incredibly helpful.

I didn't, but I really feel like I'm okay with that.  It was my idea.  I hit my limit and I was done - someone had to change, and I wasn't willing to accept cheating, so....  I thought about counseling, but really have no idea what I would say?  I will admit being a BIT bothered by the fact that he was getting married, but it was moreso because the day he met her was the day he realized for sure that I wasn't coming back (he thought I was renting my place and that I would come running back after "throwing a tantrum and teaching him a lesson" and then he found out I bought my house).  I know him and how he thinks, it was out of hurt and spite that he met her, and it was out of fear of being alone that he married her. 

Honest question:  Should I go to counseling, and if so, what for?  I have no idea where to start with that and what to say.  What do they address?

I was the same- it was my idea, hit my limit and was done.

My counselor helped to me to look at how I got to the point I was in in my marriage, and what I can do differently in the future.

[tellmesomethingood]

How do I PIP here on my iPhone?

[ciescalove]

Jul 26, 2017 9:29:12 GMT -5 tellmesomethingood said:

How do I PIP here on my iPhone?

I use my browser to post and just click on "desktop" (it's on the bottom right corner for me) then attach the pic like I would from the computer. Then I click to go back to the mobile version.

[litskispeciality]

Jumping way back to the video now that we've moved on...I've seen tripods that fit cell phones to take videos. They're smart so they follow the movement of the presenter if they wear a piece similiar to a necklace. Not sure how much it would be for the average consumer, but its a cool way to record without being behind the camera.

[CurlyQ284]

Jul 26, 2017 8:39:53 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

What is the best way to record video now? Just on my phone?

MIL had her home VHS tapes made into DVDs for h, and I think he's really enjoying seeing and hearing his dad, who has passed. It made me realize I have very little video of my family.

Now you answer and ask your random question.

My H bought a go pro to attach to his jeep for offroading, it has a case to make it impossible to break etc. We have used that for family videos more than he's used it for offroading. He attached it to the wagon while we were at the pumpkin patch and caught all kinds of funny stuff DS was muttering that we didn't hear (age 3 at the time). Or sometimes he hands it to DS to run around and take video and we don't worry about it breaking.

[Crystal]

Jul 26, 2017 9:24:26 GMT -5 shinyredsmartazz said:

My random question: How do you fit in time for relaxation? Between workouts, full-time job, and single parent to a toddler, it feels like there are no hours left! I was reading for a bit before going to bed, but now I'm seeing someone and we talk on the phone most nights. SO I know I could use that time, but where do you fit it in?

Thanks for the advice. I feel like that's what I'm doing, but it is taking forever.

As for relaxation, I had my D as a single parent. I went to school FT and worked FT.  It was a struggle.  The true answer was that she had an earlier bedtime and I just kinda scheduled it where it fit.  Not much left, but that's how I did it.  Every once in a while, I would have my brother watch her for a night so I could go out with friends or whatever.  And sometimes I let her stay at preschool for the max hours so I could do something for myself.  Even our grocery stores had play places in them, and sometimes just grocery shopping without her was relaxation enough. 

Hang in there.  I hate to sound cliché, but it really does go FAST!

[YahYahs]

Jul 26, 2017 8:59:50 GMT -5 onomatopoeia said:

If you use self tanner, do you get a separate kind for your face and your body? I'd rather not buy two bottles but if it's better to get one specifically for your face I will. 

I don't use self-tanner on my face. I tried a few times but I never had good results (weirdness around my eye brows and lips) and/or it would make my face break out (more than it already does).
I used to use tanner on my body and then a bronzer mixed in with my foundation (or mixed in with just moisturizer for non-makeup days). I like Sephora's Bronze Perfect CC Cream. 

[adhdfashion]

Jul 26, 2017 9:57:36 GMT -5 YahYahs said:

Jul 26, 2017 8:59:50 GMT -5 onomatopoeia said:

If you use self tanner, do you get a separate kind for your face and your body? I'd rather not buy two bottles but if it's better to get one specifically for your face I will. 

I don't use self-tanner on my face. I tried a few times but I never had good results (weirdness around my eye brows and lips) and/or it would make my face break out (more than it already does).
I used to use tanner on my body and then a bronzer mixed in with my foundation (or mixed in with just moisturizer for non-makeup days). I like Sephora's Bronze Perfect CC Cream. 

I have used self tanning wipes on my face successfully. They are designed for your face. It's way lighter than the body stuff. But generally a little bronzer works just as well.

[Bernadine]

Jul 26, 2017 9:24:26 GMT -5 shinyredsmartazz said:

Crystal , I am separated, divorce isn't final yet, and I already feel ready to date just because we were checked out of our marriage long before. I actually made a FB post the other day about how one size does not fit all and everyone is different in how they feel on this, and no feeling is wrong. You do whatever feels right for you and let your instincts guide you.

My random question: How do you fit in time for relaxation? Between workouts, full-time job, and single parent to a toddler, it feels like there are no hours left! I was reading for a bit before going to bed, but now I'm seeing someone and we talk on the phone most nights. SO I know I could use that time, but where do you fit it in?

Do you get a lunch break, that you could use to read? Or maybe a friend you could exchange babysitting with- one afternoon a month, you take the kids, another afternoon, they take the kids?

[marie]

This is something I have been curious about... It has to do with the Gosselin family (Jon and Kate plus 8). I just randomly saw an article about how the sextuplets turned 13, and it had me wondering.

One of the little boys (Colin) has been away at some sort of school or program to reach is "full potential" for over a year. I admittedly know nothing about what he may be going through, but am curious what kind of diagnosis or behaviors would cause you to enroll in this type of program? I know various families that have children with various needs, but they have never left the home, so I am genuinely curious.

[verycontrary247]

Would you stay at a job you weren't crazy about and didn't feel like you were being paid enough if they had good insurance and reimbursed you for college tuition?

[cajunmom]

Is there an easier way to zest citrus? It takes me forever with my regular old zester. I want to make homemade lemoncello and need to zest like 15 lemons.

[Bernadine]

Jul 26, 2017 11:38:08 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Would you stay at a job you weren't crazy about and didn't feel like you were being paid enough if they had good insurance and reimbursed you for college tuition?

Full reimbursement? How long would I have to stay? 

I'd have to see if a new, higher paid position would make up the difference for the tuition reimbursement.

[verycontrary247]

Jul 26, 2017 11:41:47 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Jul 26, 2017 11:38:08 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Would you stay at a job you weren't crazy about and didn't feel like you were being paid enough if they had good insurance and reimbursed you for college tuition?

Full reimbursement? How long would I have to stay? 

I'd have to see if a new, higher paid position would make up the difference for the tuition reimbursement.

They reimburse like 2k per semester, no cap on how many semesters. I'm taking a few community college courses per semester so my expenses are under the 2k, I just have to pay for books. They'll also reimburse for tech certifications.

You have to stay for 1 year after getting reimbursed or have to pay them back.

[pantsparty]

Jul 26, 2017 11:38:08 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Would you stay at a job you weren't crazy about and didn't feel like you were being paid enough if they had good insurance and reimbursed you for college tuition?

Maybe. Do you have to pay your job back the college tuition if you leave?

[mrsukyankee]

Jul 26, 2017 11:38:08 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Would you stay at a job you weren't crazy about and didn't feel like you were being paid enough if they had good insurance and reimbursed you for college tuition?

Yes, at least for a little while as I got my resume updated and figured out if I could find a job that paid better, I enjoyed and also had good insurance.  I've had jobs for a few years that didn't do much for me other than a benefit or two and I stayed until something better came up.

[cabbagecabbage]

Jul 26, 2017 11:39:24 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Is there an easier way to zest citrus? It takes me forever with my regular old zester. I want to make homemade lemoncello and need to zest like 15 lemons.

Microplane or the small holes on a box grater (the circle holes, not the pointy starburst ones)

[verycontrary247]

Jul 26, 2017 11:45:43 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

Jul 26, 2017 11:38:08 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Would you stay at a job you weren't crazy about and didn't feel like you were being paid enough if they had good insurance and reimbursed you for college tuition?

Maybe. Do you have to pay your job back the college tuition if you leave?

Only if you don't stay a year after your last reimbursement

[pantsparty]

Jul 26, 2017 11:51:19 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Jul 26, 2017 11:45:43 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

Maybe. Do you have to pay your job back the college tuition if you leave?

Only if you don't stay a year after your last reimbursement

This would depend on how much I disliked my job, how much I was underpaid, and what amount I would need to reimburse to my company.

[cleo29]

Jul 26, 2017 8:39:53 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

What is the best way to record video now? Just on my phone?

MIL had her home VHS tapes made into DVDs for h, and I think he's really enjoying seeing and hearing his dad, who has passed. It made me realize I have very little video of my family.

Now you answer and ask your random question.

I use my phone. We bought a nice video recorder, but I think there is something about the format that makes it difficult to upload or something like that.

My most prized possession is a recording, originally on tape and now on a CD, of my dad being interviewed by my sister and then helping me (three at the time). To hear him laugh and the affection in his voice when talking with us... I can't say enough how much it means to me. Also, the first time I heard it years ago I was shocked by his strong southern accent. lol

[zoomzoom]

onomatopoeia , I use the same self tanner for my face as I do my body. It's subtle so no streaking or weirdness around eyes/eyebrows, etc.

cajunmom ,lemoncello is delicious! Can you share your recipe? Also, I use a microplane to zest. It works way better than a traditional zester.



Microplane