Monday vents and celebrations

[erinshelley21]

twinmomma it sounds like you're raising two independent girls so don't beat yourself up.

[justcheckingin73]

akafred, I'm so sorry about everything you're dealing with. I'm hoping you get some relief soon.

[akafred]

Thanks, guys. I honestly don't think DD's situation is super serious. I think it was mainly for attention and impulsiveness, but since she is in an SSRI and obviously those thoughts need to be taken seriously, I am doing so.

[erinshelley21]

My vent for the day is my husband's indecisiveness is exhausting me. He goes back and forth on What he wants as far as where we live about every other day. He wants 5 acres then he wants 2 then he wants 10. He wants that house but we can't afford it (hes just assuming. Right now we have only beek pre-approved with his income with one mortgage broker) so he wants to stay in our house because he likes it and we can make it awesome. Then he doesn't want to update it because he doesn't want to he stuck in case we decide to move.

He would rather sit and stew over all this and I'm over here wanting to explore our options. This is so unlike him and I wish I knew how to motivate him. I've mentally worn him out the last couple of months talking about selling/not selling my business so he's probably mentally exhausted. And tired of me.

[Covergirl82]

Hugs to you, akafred.

[akafred]

erinshelley21, if it were ME, I would categorize the options to make sense of them and make the unknowns more defined. Like Option A, stay in home. Then list the things you would want to do to your current home to make it "just right" and lay out the negatives you can't fix, like not enough land or it will not have enough bedrooms or whatever, and the (approximate) cost of renovations etc. Option B is move, and the approximate cost range, negatives, etc. This one will be a bit of a question mark because you don't know how much land he wants, but that is ok. You know you can move for a range of money. Also include negatives that you know, like moving further to the country will mean you have a lesser school system or a longer commute or whatever. I tend to categorize and dissect to make order.

[k3am]

akafred, I'm sorry.

[2chatter]

erinshelley21 - can you make a list of things to DO? Get a new prequal. Look at land in your budget. Meet with a builder. Go to Home Depot and look at upgrades. Maybe digging in will motivate him and minimize the entropy.

[erinshelley21]

akafred we've done that lol.

[erinshelley21]

2chatter I've mentioned getting a new prequal with another lender and he initially thought it was silly but came around. We have land that we can build on and have met with a builder. Building a small-ish house was way over what we wanted to spend but we've been talking about building a pole barn style home which would be cheaper but I can't get him to say "yes let's meet with so and so to talk about it" the other things we would do are add a master suite and build a barn but he's in the mindset of "I don't want to commit to anything right now so I don't even want to look into the options"

[2chatter]

erinshelley21 is he open to not discussing it for a couple weeks - calendar time to discuss a couple weeks out? He can reflect, then discuss instead of this inadvertent yoyo?

[erinshelley21]

Aug 29, 2017 12:16:01 GMT -5 2chatter said:

erinshelley21 is he open to not discussing it for a couple weeks - calendar time to discuss a couple weeks out? He can reflect, then discuss instead of this inadvertent yoyo?

Probably. Any time I have tried not talking about it, he's the one to bring it up. I told him a little bit ago that I'm ready to help him work through whatever he is going through right now when he is ready.

[186momx]

xctsclrx One of DD's deals about not wanting to go back to school is about avoiding a few of the kids in her class last year that constantly picked on her for being a baby, wearing baby clothes, being tiny therefore they could carry and throw her around at recess. DD has a bunch of friends from gym, t-ball, and her old daycare but wants nothing to do with making friends at school with people that are mean. Something her Mr. K teacher didn't get and I'm hoping we get a female 1st grade teacher who may pick up on all the girl crap a little easier.

twinmomma We talked about makeup being dress up and how we wouldn't wear dress up stuff to school so then makeup shouldn't be worn to school. That seemed to make sense, thanks!

akafred, have you heard back from Char's doctor yet? That is so scary. How are thing at school going?

[mommyatty]

I have to leave town today. DS cried at drop off. So that's the last memory I have of him for this trip. We can't FaceTime tonight because he will be in bed by the time I land and get to my hotel.

[sweetptater]

akafred, I'm so sorry. Sending you tons of strength today!

[akafred]

186momx, not yet. Since she didn't call at lunch I am assuming it will be the end of the day. Probably right when I need to pick DD up from school and take her to football practice lol. It is scary but not entirely new. DD gets pretty dramatic when her anxiety is up. She will say whatever to get a rise. She told me last year that she was going to find the judge who finalized our adoption and make him take it back because she hates me, she always hated me, and even when she was a little baby she hated me. So yeah, if talking about hurting herself gets a rise, she will try it. And there was a bit at school a while back who would talk self harm whenever he was in trouble and she picked up on it then, though it got better last year. School is supposedly good but something is up, obv. But something is always up, so.

We also got word of extreme cost savings moves at work (nothing too huge YET), and my skirt ripped effectively flashing my ass as I walked to the elevator. At least I get to WFH the rest of the day.

[akafred]

mommyatty, ((hugs))

[justcheckingin73]

Hugs mommyatty. I love traveling for work when I'm at my destination. Saying my goodbyes and leaving those sweet faces makes me never want to travel again. 

[greenmonkey1]

twinmomma When I went to pick up DS1 at junior K this morning I went in the wrong entrance. They have been doing construction so we've had to enter off one road. Well, apparently the new entrance is open now and there was a funeral (they go to the local Catholic school) so we were supposed to go in the new entrance. There were a bunch of cones in the parking lot too because they kids were out for gym or recess and playing in the parking lot (?). So I slalom around the cones right in front of the teachers to pick up DS1. Not much else I could do, but I'm thinking what a great first impression I am making (this is a new school for us).

When I checked my email later today there was a email from the principal, sent around 9:30 am today about going in the new entrance. The time stamp is before my parking lot maneuvers so I know it is not aimed at me. But really, messages about changes in traffic flow should probably be sent before said traffic will be flowing.

[akafred]

Update: Talked to doc. Thankfully she wasn't too concerned over the talk of self harm. She suspects it is talk to get a reaction. Meds, however, are a stumper. I'm right there with her. She wants to add a tiny bit of stimulant. If it isn't helpful then I think we have to get a new doc for this. Which sucks.

[waverly]

I am sorry the meds aren't working out akafred. They sounded so promising at first. Frustrating.

[supertrooper1]

erinshelley21, DH and I lived in a pole barn rental house for almost two years and it was great. It didn't look fancy on the outside, but it had 2 nice bedrooms, one big room for the living room, dining room and kitchen, and an attached garage. It was very efficient heating and cooling wise.

[akafred]

Aug 29, 2017 19:04:53 GMT -5 waverly said:

I am sorry the meds aren't working out akafred. They sounded so promising at first. Frustrating.

This is the cycle of most everything we try. Seems FANTASTIC at first. If it takes 6 weeks to build up, we will see huge benefits in 3. Lasts some amount of time, maybe 3-4 weeks (less for guanfacine), then it slowly tapers down to not very helpful. Then we try a dose increase and split the difference, not as good as it was at first but then better than nothing. And then that tapers down and ends up actually worse than before we started it.

IDK what is up with her. Like, super fast metabolism? Or super slow? I told the doc since she is opposite she needs a medicine for feet, like a gout medicine, and then it will clear her brain up in no time.

We're about out of options. I am not ok with anti-psychotics. She mentioned an off label seizure med. I need to know more though.

[erinshelley21]

Aug 29, 2017 19:59:41 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

erinshelley21, DH and I lived in a pole barn rental house for almost two years and it was great. It didn't look fancy on the outside, but it had 2 nice bedrooms, one big room for the living room, dining room and kitchen, and an attached garage. It was very efficient heating and cooling wise.

Some of them are really nice on the inside!

[traveltheworld]

akafred, I'm sorry you haven't found something that works.