Questions

[King26]

OMG i suck.  I posted these on the main board first.  I was trying to write on the board and pump and I'm exhausted,  Posting in the right place now but I feel like an a-hole.

Hey all,


A few questions now that we are home. I feel like these are dumb but I'm stressed and want to know.

J is 5 days old although since he was born at 8pm I feel like I should be following day 4 guidelines.

Because he was jaundice and not eating well they had use give him formula several times at the hospital which was fine as it helped. However, now DH is so about the formula which is stressing me out. I also feel like J doesn't want to latch during the day. When he woke up I. The night he fed fine 3 times but in the day wants nothing to do with it. How can I work on this? I am pumping to try and get my milk to come in as the lactation consultant suggested. It's starting to come in as I'm getting a little bit at each pump but I'm afraid it's not enough. Thoughts? Shave him formula this morning which was fine but now he won't feed from me.

Also, he seems to prefer one side. He latches well and is happy on the left side but doesn't want to latch on the right. Any ideas how to fix this?

Also, I'm crying like 10 times a day and DH is worried. Sometimes it's happy cries, sometimes stressed, and sometimes I have no clue why I'm crying. Should o be concerned or is it still early for that??

Also, I feel dumb about this one, what do I do with the baby when he's up during the day? I just sang to him for 30 minutes but i dont really know what to do otherwise. I mean he sleeps and eats most of the time which i think is normal.

As for diapers , he is peeing like a champ but we've only had 2 poops total. Should I be concerned? I feel like he should be having at least 1 a day and he isnt.

Ok I think that's it for now.

[pooh8402]

first of all, don't worry about it girl. they/we understand.

1. so you and your H need to be on the same page. if you want to breastfeed, he should support you in that. I want to give him a smack, and I'll do it! I'll talk to him! that being said, giving E like 1-2 bottles a day was super helpful for my sanity, especially in the first several days.

2. one thing I found super helpful when E was not digging latching was the SNS (supplemental nursing system). it's not for everyone, but I didn't find it to be a PITA like most people. ymmv. I put like an ounce of formula in it, taped it to my boob, and E would get the first few sucks of formula while latched, which helped with letdown.

3. that being said, it took my milk 5 days to come in. it can take up to 7 days normally. so you're still within range. I would nurse first (and you can dribble drops of formula on your nipple to help get him started), then supplement after with formula if needed.

4. as far as right vs left, what positions have you tried on the right? some babies nurse in different positions on different sides.

5. we've all been there. I know I cried a ton. ESPECIALLY when your milk is coming in! there is a big hormone dump when that is happening! but I know I cried a bunch for the first 2-3 weeks. it's great that some are happy tears!!! that's a good thing! it's good that your DH is concerned, that means he cares, and he should continue to watch you. if you feel like it's too much, call your OB.

6. I didn't know what to do either, ha. I read him books sometimes. E was cranky and liked to be held while I was standing and walking (no sitting allowed), so I would wrap him in a carrier, turn on music that I liked and danced around the living room.

7. breastmilk is more completely digested and there is a wide range of normal as far as poops. is that 2 poops total in his life? or since yall left the hospital?

[whodey]

King26,Congrats on baby J’s arrival!! So happy for you

I popped onto GBCN because I’m avoiding work, so I’ll give you my thoughts on your questions…

- BFing & jaundice – DD was jaundice – BF first and then supplement with formula. I wouldn’t skip a BFing session to bottle feed instead.
- Latching – is it possible that he’s already really hungry when you’re trying to latch during the day? Sometimes DD would be so worked up about being hungry that she wouldn’t latch very well. Or is he really sleepy? Jaundice babies are very sleepy. I’d just keep offering – maybe even before he starts showing a lot of “hunger” cues. As far as preferences – try a different hold –football vs side, etc.
- Crying – total normal – there are crazy hormone fluctuations in the first few weeks. When I brought DS home from the hospital on day 5, I walked into my bedroom and started bawling – no rhyme or reason
- What to do all day – NOTHING. Relax, enjoy, BF. You don’t have to stimulate or “entertain” him. Skin to skin will help with milk production, so I just stayed in bed or on the couch with baby on my chest.
- Diapers – with the jaundice you want them to poop a lot, so I’d expect more poopy diapers, but some BF babies don’t poop a lot – if you are really concerned call your pedi – they are used to tons of questions. When I had DD – she was the 4th baby in our family and the only girl, so I called the pedi because I wasn’t sure how to wipe her – lol – they are used to all kinds of calls.

[mpc]

Hugs. You are doing great.

I don't know that I have a lot of specific answers, but I will share that my DS was jaundiced and got formula in the hospital and some when we first got home, and we were still able to breastfeed exclusively after that. So don't despair if that is something you want, it's still possible. Also, I cried ALL the time for 3 solid weeks with DS. Sometimes for a reason, sometimes just because it was 6pm. Hormones are rough.

[loira]

Sorry it took me awhile to respond again. I agree with everyone that this all seems fairly normal, but fuck, it is so incredibly hard!

I wish I had fed A more formula in those first few days because I think it would have helped my anxiety. I had a low weight baby born at 38 weeks, and the problem wasn't getting her to latch, but her terrible latch. I was incredibly anxious about her weight, so even though we eventually got to a point where she was able to nurse (formula never gave her nipple confusion), I was already too worried about it. All this to say you just do what you need to do. Also, your H needs to support you. Formula is incredible stuff and a perfectly valid choice, whether you use it sparingly or EFF.

I didn't "do" much of anything with A in the first few days. She liked being held, so we held her. I sang to her, but not as an 'activity', just because I liked to sing. I watched a LOT of TV, to be honest. I tried to do one thing a day that was for myself, even if it was just taking a shower.

You are doing a fantastic job!

[cherryvalance]

Oh, love, the first few days are so rough. I'm still in newborn fog, but it's so much better 4 weeks out than it was one week out.

DS was slightly jaundiced, as well, and he's struggled with latching and had lost a ton of weight when we went for his twork day appointment. I agree that feeding doesn't have to be all or nothing, but should be whatever you want to do. I've used formula twice and he still takes the breast and pumped milk.

As for the crying, I literally felt like I was losing my mind. I cried when we got home because we left the hospital and everyone was so nice and it was his first home. I cried over everything. I still cry at the drop of a hat, although it might be once a day or once every few days. Hormones are forfuckingreal, man.

Lots of hugs to you!

[cherryvalance]

Also, I have done nothing with DS. He has torticollis, so he has some exercises and we do tummy time, but that's about it. I talk to him a lot and hold him. There's really nothing else to do with him.

ETA: My last line reads weird to me. I'm not saying I'm the expert; it just seems like there's nothing else to do with him, but I could be wrong!

[boiler717]

Hugs Mama! A lot of what has been said. I'd try different positions (football hold was our favorite at that age). The SNS may be super helpful. Keep pumping, make sure you are eating and drinking enough water. Are you working with a LC? Don't worry about doing stuff with him, just let him chill!
I'd call your pedi about the pooping

[thoseareradishes]

I didn't have a typical newborn experience, so I can't answer most of your questions. But as for what to do with him - skin to skin is great. Throw a blanket over him to keep him warm. Something that the developmental pediatrician suggested while we were in the NICU is having baby touch her head - something about making them aware of themselves. It's goofy but gives you something to do with them. I also help E touch her hands or feet together, and I say tap tap tap!, or rub rub rub! Otherwise, I mostly just held her, sang a little and let her look at my face.

I cried a ton after I had E - seems normal, but good to keep an eye on it.

I'd call the pedi about the pooping. Not sure what is normal but they will be happy to help you.

[cactuscookie]

I had the same problem with my husband re: breastfeeding. Whenever I struggled, he would be like, let's just switch to formula, and it was so frustrating, because I wasn't ready for that, I felt like we hadn't given breastfeeding a fair chance yet. I don't have any advice to give on it, unfortunately. It pretty much just went away once the baby and I figured out breastfeeding.

One of the things I struggled with, similar to you, was a side preference. What ended up working for me was a different hold - H was fine with cradle on the left, but she didn't like it on the right. We ended up doing the laid-back hold on the right for a month or two, and that worked.

Yeah, the crying f-ing sucks. I don't think it's time to worry yet, since you're still in the wild hormone change right after giving birth.

Ha, I don't remember worrying about what to do with H until she was a bit older. Maybe because all we did with her in the beginning was feed her and hold her while bouncing on the yoga ball so she would quit freaking screaming all the time. I remember she liked to lay on her back and watch the fan when she was tiny.

These first few days are so, so hard. Hang in there. Keep asking any questions you have, even if they seem silly.

[loira]

Oh, whoops, sorry for my reading fail King26! I thought you meant your H didn't want to use any formula. Regardless, he still needs to support you in whatever you want to do.

[oneslybookworm]

Huge hugs King26. I totally feel you on a lot of this.

No advice on the breastfeeding, because we've been formula from the get go, but I hope that it starts smoothing out for you!

Regarding the crying...honestly (and I didn't believe it when people told me), it's normal. The first 4-6 weeks was just me getting my emotions under control. You're exhausted, your life has completely changed, and your hormones are totally out of whack. I would bawl multiple times a day for those first few weeks, then it tapered down to once a day, then once every few days. Gabe is 8 weeks now and I feel like it's mostly let up, but even now if I'm extra tired a few tears will slip past. Hang in there, it WILL get better.

As for what to do with him...really, just cuddle and talk to him. Not much really to do with them at this age. Gabe is just now starting to really "wake-up" and we're doing a lot more tummy time and stuff, but he's still a bit of a lump.

[hocus2]

In terms of babies -- newborns don't really do much. It can take a few weeks before they have any interest in early toys. They don't "play" really and have very limited control of their bodies. Sing if you want but I would mostly focus on keeping you both happy. Talk or sing gentily to them. NB love eye contact so anything involving lots of close looking is exciting. Some NB crave motion so you'll spend weeks bouncing, rocking, walking etc. Others are fine to cuddle on the sofa for 2-3 weeks.

Around 6 weeks both kids become more interested the world around them. My daughter was particularly fond of her play mat and my son love to take long walks and looking around. This the time when you can start having them tuck into your life in small stretches. They might find it perfectly acceptable to sit in a little bouncer and watch you do dishes or watch you shower (babies often love being in there when you shower because the white noise is soothing and the room gets pretty warm).