Am I Old? WWH&FD? ***UPDATE: Response from Gym***

[Deleted]

OK, so today in my gym bag I packed 2 towels. One for swim (on the way to work) and one for running at the gym in my lunch break. Used the first towel this morning, but got to the gym and realised the second towel was a hand towel. Ugh. No bother, I did my run, had my shower and used my towel on my hair to dry as much as possible. It was fine. I'm coming out of the shower area to the changing area and there is a girl having a video chat on her phone. I step back in shock. Then I stick my head back round and ask her if she is having a video chat. She confirms she is, but 'it's okay, it's just my dad'. 

Oh right. Wait, what? 

I ask her if she could refrain from video-chatting in the changing room. She argues that he's just learned to use video-chat and that he can only see her face. (She's facing away from where my locker is, i.e. my locker is directly behind her and precisely where her camera would be pointing.) I tell her this and she says 'it's fine.' I say it's not and ask her again to stop video-chatting. She reluctantly does but gives me filthy looks. 

Am I old? Is this actually okay these days? I'm not usually bothered by the lack of privacy in changing rooms here, I will happy shower in front of other, totally starkers, because given a few variables in shape and colour, we've all got the same equipment, as it were. 

Unfortunately it was the only time in the history of attending the gym that it's been empty in the changing room so no one else witnessed it or reacted. 

Thoughts?

UPDATE: I messaged the gym to ask about their policy on the use of mobile phone cameras in the gym and described what had happened. 
Response: Hey, Thanks for your message. We do not allow members to take photos/videos on the premises that may identify another member. We do not stop members taking pictures of themselves as people like to monitor their fitness progress. In regards to in the changing rooms, the rule will remain the same. Did you speak with a member of staff about this at all? Thanks, Josh

[kams]

My gym has signs posted EVERYWHERE (& in every locker bay) that cell phone cameras are not to be used. So, no, I don't think you're "old" in the slightest.

[laurack]

Umm no! That is not ok and I believe is illegal!

[polarbearfans]

The gym I used to do swim lesson at with the baby had "no cell phones or cameras allowed" signs before entering the locker room and inside. You are not old. That girl was rude.

[Deleted]

Thanks - sometimes I think I'm slightly out of touch. I never pull my phone out even to check for urgent messages or sync my activity from my Garmin in case anyone thinks I am taking a photo. I wouldn't want a picture of myself in a state of undress, I certainly don't want a picture of someone else.

[fuckyourcouch]

Sept 4, 2017 9:12:53 GMT -5 kams said:

My gym has signs posted EVERYWHERE (& in every locker bay) that cell phone cameras are not to be used. So, no, I don't think you're "old" in the slightest.

Same here, even at the rec center and other less formal gyms. Ours actually says you cannot use cell phones at all in the locker rooms. Unacceptable.

[scm1011]

What?! I can't believe you had to ask her more than once. who thinks that's ok?

[Deleted]

I keep wondering whether I was in the wrong, so thank you everyone, you have made me feel better. There are no changing cubicles in this facility, just showers, toilets and an open space with lockers - there was no where else to get changed.
I'm annoyed that she was so irritated that I had interrupted her video-chat. It's hard to argue with someone when you only have a hand towel to cover yourself.

[emilyinchile]

She was totally in the wrong. I'd say something to the gym management, not specifically about her, but about making a clear policy on this to avoid future incidents since unfortunately some people just don't get it.

[mysticmuffin]

Sept 4, 2017 9:32:58 GMT -5 @cheshire said:

Thanks - sometimes I think I'm slightly out of touch. I never pull my phone out even to check for urgent messages or sync my activity from my Garmin in case anyone thinks I am taking a photo. I wouldn't want a picture of myself in a state of undress, I certainly don't want a picture of someone else.

She was way out of line. And that you had to ask her repeatedly. Ugh. I'm the same as you about my phone at the gym, I keep it firmly tucked away until I'm out in the lobby.

[LoveTrains]

I would say something to gym management. That's not OK.

[hannahb]

That is nonsense. Our gym has a no cell phone policy as well. I'd be inclined to tell someone

[jordylee]

She was completely out of line. Our gym has signs everywhere, but it really is common sense. If I had to say something to someone multiple times, I would let management know. If it happened to you, it has probably happened to others too and they should put up some signage to discourage it.

[campermom]

I feel like since she wasn't receptive to you when you expressed your (valid) concerns, she needs to hear it from management.

[bostonmichelle]

She was out of line! I would talk to the gym management about getting some signs put up. We have a little sitting area in our locker room and I use my phone there but nowhere else in the locker room.

[sadlebred]

Nope, that was not fine in any way!!! Did you alert gym management?

[Deleted]

I didn't alert gym management - it's a gym that is largely unstaffed, so it is more affordable. There isn't even a front desk. You access via a PIN, step into a tube just big enough for one person and wait for the other side of the tube to open. There are staff, usually personal trainers though, I think they are freelance. I will find an email address though for the company, because I think that they should put a sign up. You ladies are all right. thank you for not making me feel silly about this.

[al320]

Woah that is FUCKED UP. Every gym ive ever been to has signs about no cell phone use in the locker rooms. That is SO fucked up to be on a video call. Definitely tell them, however you can.

[Deleted]

I've never seen a sign in a gym changing room about using your mobile, but I've never thought you would need one - it's common sense that you'd not use one in case it made other people nervous. That has always been my main fear - that even when I fiddle with my garmin and it beeps that someone will think I have a camera. Ugh. I guess she didn't get the memo.
I've emailed the gym's management company to ask what their policy is.

[gt7301b]

Hell no! I would say something to gym management and you were way nicer to her than I would have been.

[melmel48]

You are not wrong; not in the least! I would be horrified and very upset.

[secretlyevil]

So not ok, she should be reported to management.

[wineandcheese]

She is totally in the wrong. I would of felt totally uncomfortable if I saw someone video chatting and I probably would of caused a scene.

[Susie]

That's insane.

At our YMCA, we are not even allowed to use cameras on the POOL DECK. So like, no pictures of your kid learning to swim. I think that's too far in the other direction and I'm really bummed (because swimming is huge to me!), but in the locker rooms? That is what-should-be-common sense and courtesy, and rules in most places dictate that using a cell phone camera for any purpose is a major no-no.

Of course, last time I was at the Y, I also had to ask a grandmother to use the family locker room -- not the women's -- when she's bringing her elementary aged grandson. Our Y has separate girls (female <18), women's (female >18), boys, men's, and family locker rooms, so it seems to me that bringing a ~7ish year old boy through the adult women's locker room is unnecessary. She gave me this whole long spiel about how "oh believe me, I agree with you!" Yet... here we are.

So I have nothing but SMH at people and locker room behavior.

[osulori]

Dude that's ridiculous. She was 100% in the wrong.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone. I tweeted the gym and emailed them. They have contacted me to ask my PIN/membership number. I don't know what they are going to do, but we'll see!

[Deleted]

Susie, I'm so with you on that. 7-ish is too old. Toddlers, totally fine, but any older and I will go into a change cubicle if they haven't seen sense to use a family change room. (Though, to be fair, those rarely exist here in the UK. We normally have male, female, accessible).

[emilyinchile]

Sept 5, 2017 8:26:32 GMT -5 Susie said:

Of course, last time I was at the Y, I also had to ask a grandmother to use the family locker room -- not the women's -- when she's bringing her elementary aged grandson. Our Y has separate girls (female <18), women's (female >18), boys, men's, and family locker rooms, so it seems to me that bringing a ~7ish year old boy through the adult women's locker room is unnecessary. She gave me this whole long spiel about how "oh believe me, I agree with you!" Yet... here we are.

Sooooo if she agreed, why wasn't she in the family locker room? People are so weird.

[arch01]

Where I work has relaxed the rules on the pool deck, but is a firm no on cell phones in the locker rooms. Also, having been involved in the investigation leading to the arrest of a sexual predator, I can see both sides on the phone on the pool deck.

We also have family locker rooms (3 stalls), men's and women's. Children 6 and under are allowed with the opposite sex parent in the men's and women's locker rooms. People have given me a tough time about bringing DS through the women's, even though he is allowed to be in there, but the family locker rooms are constantly full. I don't know that I will trust him at age 7 to go through the men's alone, knowing some of what goes on in there (especially during swim team season), but I will cross that bridge when I get there.

[kams]

Sept 6, 2017 10:15:45 GMT -5 arch01 said:

Where I work has relaxed the rules on the pool deck, but is a firm no on cell phones in the locker rooms. Also, having been involved in the investigation leading to the arrest of a sexual predator, I can see both sides on the phone on the pool deck.

We also have family locker rooms (3 stalls), men's and women's. Children 6 and under are allowed with the opposite sex parent in the men's and women's locker rooms. People have given me a tough time about bringing DS through the women's, even though he is allowed to be in there, but the family locker rooms are constantly full. I don't know that I will trust him at age 7 to go through the men's alone, knowing some of what goes on in there (especially during swim team season), but I will cross that bridge when I get there.

I agree with you - 7 seems young for me to trust DD alone in the women's locker room if the family rooms were full. It's a tough age for independence vs compulsion and lack of awareness. My DD will be 7 in January and is half adult, half head-in-the-clouds. Too young to leave alone in many adult situations, but too old to be totally unaware of anatomy/etc. I suppose older 7, like 2nd grade, may be a bit less of a stretch.