week of Sept 25

[awick14]

thoseareradishes- are you trying to transition to a sleep sack? DD had a lot of success of sleeping in a sleepsack.

((kristind3)) I'm so sorry. I know it's different but we spent last Christmas in the hospital. (As she was born on dec 24th) We had a great experience, the nurses tried to make the holiday as special as they could for us. Our family did a few big holiday celebrations for us after we left the hospital. Is that a possibility for you as well?

[King26]

Thank you cactuscookie, that's helpful. We've been doing the stroller and the play mat and occasionally tummy time. Maybe we should set up another station or two. He will lay in his crib for like 5-10 minutes without crying. I don't want to use the RNP because that's where he sleeps during the day and I want to keep that for naps only.
We only do car as the last resort because it puts him to sleep and we use that for horrible sleep days LOL. He seems to like the car which is good since we have to drive 2 1/2 hours to see my family. My mom keeps wanting us to come see them but I don't think he's ready for a car ride that long. Plus, it's 5 hours when you go both ways. So far his longest car ride was an hour. We might try to go an hour away next week so that would be 2 hours total. I'm scared!

I'm so so sorry kristind3, It is unfair that after IF you have to deal with this too. ((HUGS)) Will you be able to stay in the hospital with the baby? Is the hospital close to your house?

[cherryvalance]

kristind3, I'm so sorry, that's so much to deal with mentally. I don't know if this will help, but my friend's infant just had open heart surgery and is doing amazingly well. It does suck that you'll be in the hospital for Christmas, though. Lots of hugs.

King26, regarding things to do with J, I just bought a few toys for DS. He's really intrigued by the Bright Starts blocks (they have little bells and scrunchy noises) and I also got him the floor mirror he uses at PT and plastic grasping rings. He's grabbed the rings a few times.

pooh8402, that seems to be the consensus I'm seeing online. I wonder how the experience at my hospital is for formula or combo feeding women. They asked me what I planned to do and I did receive a TON of support. I've read so many posts here about how awful the hospital stay was for other people, so I feel pretty lucky that it wasn't our experience.

[loira]

Sept 27, 2017 10:59:40 GMT -5 cherryvalance said:

Sept 27, 2017 9:02:29 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

Also, for all the ladies who are BFing and considering EFF...we've been EFF from day 1, and it's going really well. Try not to let it stress you out or make you feel badly for switching. You have to do what is best for the baby AND for you/family. That isn't always BFing, and you shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt for ANY decision you make regarding how you feed your child (except if you give them bottles of Diet Mountain Dew...there should probably be some guilt for that).

Huge hugs ladies.

Thank you for this! A thread on Got about the crap in regular formula definitely made me sensitive for a hot minute, so I needed to hear this again.

Oh HELL NO! I'm glad I haven't been around much. I do not have time to rage over that bullshit.

ETA: Nevermind. I did go there. I couldn't resist yanking her chain re: chemicals.

You guys, my EFF kid was never sick her first year of life, and is highly verbal and can speak 2 languages. I'm not saying that to sound smug, I'm saying it because all I ever hear from lactivists is that BFing is the only way to keep your kid healthy and make them smart. I'm not saying formula kept her healthy or made her any smarter, either, but I think there's too much emphasis on breast milk (and in the US, the research is predominantly on breast milk, because if they focused on BFing they would actually have to give women things like maternity leave) and not enough on supporting new mums with whatever choices they make.

[thoseareradishes]

awick14, she sleeps in a halo swaddle sleep sack, and the last two nights we've swaddled one arm out. Tonight we let both arms out and so far so good.

[starryfish]

King26 do you have the kick n play piano mat? Omg that thing is magical!!!!

mpc I left for 6 days when dd was 5m old and she drank ~28 ounces a day.

[Chrysanthemum]

((( kristind3)))

[King26]

Sept 27, 2017 21:00:39 GMT -5 starryfish said:

King26 do you have the kick n play piano mat? Omg that thing is magical!!!!

mpc I left for 6 days when dd was 5m old and she drank ~28 ounces a day.

I do and we use it like twice a day for 15 minutes or so

[kellikans]

Hugs kristind3.

I had my first OB appointment yesterday. Things went well. I was 11w5d measuring 12w. NT scan looked great. Baby was dancing all around. Did bloodwork and sent out for Panorama and a new test called Vistara, which looks at 30 other chromosomal abnormalities. Got my flu shot. My next appointment is in a month. It's going to be so weird going that long since I've been able to see him every week. Luckily we have a week long vacation coming up, so that'll help pass the time.

[pandora89]

((kristind3)) so many hugs, I am so sorry.

[pandora89]

I have my final ultrasound with the RE today before I graduate to the OB. I am so anxious for this ultrasound. I am sorry to be so annoying and always whiny about this about I think my anxiety is really getting the best of me. I am just waiting for something to go wrong.

I already have my first OB appointment booked for the 23rd and then my next ultrasound after that wont be till my anatomy scan which would be December 11th. I have no idea how I will make it that long without a check.

I ended up getting a Doppler which I thought would help with the anxiety and it seems to have made things worse. I don't expect to find the HB yet but I thought I found the placenta (lol) a few days ago and cant find it now so that has me in a panic.

kellikans - Glad your first OB appointment went well!

[icedcoffee]

Thank you for directing me to that formula thread. So ridiculous. I have EBF DS who is almost 11 months, but most days lately I wish I had combo fed. It's so stressful and now here I am 11 months later running out of milk rapidly, but at this point I feel it's too late to introduce formula so I just pump ALL THE TIME to keep up.

My hospital was also BFHI, but I did have a good experience. They actually really encouraged supplementing with formula and also happily took DS to the nursery when I was about to lose my mind. I wish I had taken their advice on the formula thing. LOL

Hugs kristind3 I'm sorry you need to go through that. I hope it all goes smoothly.

[icedcoffee]

pandora89, Would your doctor be willing to do additional ultrasounds based on your past? Mine was willing. I never took her up on it, but it's a good option to have. I'll be thinking about you today!

[lo]

Huge hugs kristind3 , how very stressful for you! Christmas will still be awesome since you'll be spending it with your sweet baby girl!

pandora89, did you watch YouTube vids about how to use Doppler? I probably wouldn't have ever found the HB without watching. I didn't realize you have to try all the way down by your pubic bone, and also how you angle the wand thing makes a difference. I had no issues finding the HB with DD1 from like 10 weeks, but DD2 was always a challenge and some days I couldn't find it, even later at like 15 weeks. And it did turn out I had an anterior placenta with DD2, so I felt movements later with her. But when I did start to feel movements they were stronger feeling than DD1. I dunno, babies are so weird and confusing!!

So happy to see pregnancies going well with people who I remember from my time on TTC!! @daylily , kellikans

[mpc]

I'm back home! I flew home yesterday. So great to see the kids, but of course my 4yo said he wished I had stayed away til saturday like I was supposed to. lol. kids man. Of course work wants me to go back out next week. Everyone is flipping out over the problems we encountered earlier this week. I will wait til tomorrow to make a decision cause things are so up in the air right now.

I had a talk with DH last night about how unsupported I felt. It was all about him and how hard it was going to be for him and how he didn't want me to go and it put a lot of unnecessary pressure on me. I think after the 3 nights I was gone this week he is feeling a tiny bit better about being home with them, but I just wish he would get over the pity party he's been having. Part of his complaints were that it is so easy for me to just whip out a boob and feed her but he has to make bottles and warm them up and wash them every night and on and on. I was like, you do know that if we formula fed that would be the reality every day. It's not an unusual thing for a parent to have to do. And oh no she woke up in the middle of the night but only once and I've been doing middle of the nights every f-in night since she was born.

I probably sound a little harsh but I think Iv'e reached the end of my patience with this issue. I've tried to be so understanding and do everything I possibly could to make it easier on him. And there hasn't been any room left for me to deal with my own emotions about being away. Anyway, good luck to all of us cause it looks like I'll be traveling again next week.

[mpc]

Oh, if anyone is interested in how pumping went for me - I pumped about 7 times a day (!!) and averaged 16 oz/day. DD ate an average of 28 oz/day. I knew I wouldn't keep up based on how pumping went with my first, so I spent a lot of mental energy ahead of time preparing myself to not be disappointed. My only goal was to pump enough that I could still BF when I got home. I pumped in 2 airplane bathrooms and 1 airport bathroom. At work I contacted someone ahead of time to see if there was a room I could use - it was so awkward to ask but I'm glad I did because they gave me a key to a dedicated room I could use all week. It was perfect. I brought all the milk in a cooler on the plane and had no trouble going through security. The guy barely looked at it and I think was a little embarrassed by it. I had 2 frozen water bottles in the cooler that I thought they would make me throw out, but he didn't even see them because they were under the milk and he didn't touch anything.

ETA: The difference between what I pumped and what she eats every day is why I think pumping to see how much baby is eating in the beginning can be a bad idea. I would've freaked out if I thought that was all she was getting from me. But she has gained weight really well so I have to believe when nursing she gets more than enough. Obviously doesn't apply if baby isn't gaining, but in general I am skeptical of pumping as a measure of supply. 

[mpc]

thoseareradishes , we ditched the swaddle when DD learned to roll and now we are back in the swaddle again. I know I need to give it up but it helps her so much...

kristind3 , I'm so sorry you're facing such an ordeal after birth. That must be so hard. 

icedcoffee, with my son we started supplementing with formula at 11 months! I have no regrets. I stopped pumping at work at that point since I was getting basically nothing anyway. I think we only ended up buying like 2 cans to get us through those weeks. I will say I just gave him formula one day and it was no big deal to him. If you have a baby that has a tough transition then I could see it being more challenging. 

[awick14]

((mpc)) I don't think your being harsh at all. I have a feeling that DH and I are going to have some of those struggles when I go back to work. He has already commented about how easy it is for me to whip out the boob, and he will have to do bottles.

He is stressing out so much about doing middle of the night wake up and such, but urg it will get old fast if he complains all the time. I've been doing it for 9 months now with little help from him so....

[starryfish]

mpc , i understand your rage and you are FULLY justified. he complains about bottles, but what about washing your pump parts? You have to do that daily and those are more of a pain than bottles IMO.

pandora89 you probably wont get the doppler to work until 15 weeks or later. I would definitely ask for extra ultrasounds.

[pandora89]

icedcoffee - I think I am going to ask for more ultrasounds, I don't know how willing my OB would be to doing so since he is at a major hospital but I might be able to convince my RE.

lo - Ive watched a bunch of the videos and think I am checking the right spot but I am barely 9 weeks so I think I just need to put it away (or have H hide it from me) so I don't make myself go insane.

starryfish - Doppler is definitely going away lol, I was just asking for trouble.

Ultrasound went well, measuring a day ahead, heartbeat of 179 bpm. Didn't get a chance to meet with my RE after but tech went over everything with me. She showed me the screen and gave me some pictures of the ultrasound. I am going to try really hard to enjoy this.

[pandora89]

mpc - I don't think you are being harsh or expecting too much, I am sorry. That would be extremely frustrating.

[kristind3]

I bought a doppler for the same reasons pandora89 and it just gave me more anxiety when I couldn't find the HB early on. I ended up not using it, except for a couple of times. Too much stress.

[loira]

kristind3, I'm sorry your baby has to have surgery so soon. That must be incredibly stressful.

[oneslybookworm]

mpc, definitely not too harsh. This is one of the main reasons I am so happy to EFF. It sucks equally for both of us, we take turns on night feeds, and he can't be all "it's so much easier if you just XYZ". No sir, it's not.

[cherryvalance]

I don't even understand how any man can claim BFing is so much easier. Fuck that shit. It hurts some people, it's exhausting to be the only one (even if "all" you have to do is whip out a boob), it's mentally draining worrying about what you ate and whether you're hydrating enough and all that crap. That's bullshit. And I say that as someone who nursed AND pumped and dealt with bottles. You can always buy more bottles to lessen the load of washing.

pandora89, 9 weeks is so, so early for the doppler. I found my own HB at that point and stupidly thought it was the baby, lol. I was so anxious until I could find it reliably at 13 or 14 weeks, but then it was such a godsend. I checked him every night until I could feel movement and then still checked right up until the end for peace of mind. I hope it ends up helping you because the anxiety is so real.

[loira]

Sept 28, 2017 19:04:39 GMT -5 cherryvalance said:

I don't even understand how any man can claim BFing is so much easier. Fuck that shit.

Oh, it's easier all right. Easier for THEM.

[dellabear]

kristind3, I'm sorry that your baby will need surgery, hugs.

mpc, you are a pumping hero! I hated pumping so much and it was always such a struggle for me.

Pandora, I'm glad you had a good u/s and I agree, you're so early for the doppler, even my doctor couldn't make it work for me at 11 weeks.

King26, my best advice is to do what works and don't worry if it's not what everyone else does. Babies are all different and theybgrowmand change quickly, so what works today may not tomorrow and vice versa. As newborns mine wanted to be held or lay on us, so we spent a lot of time like that. No regrets!

DS has been barfy this week so H has had to stay home with him since I just went back to work. Work is less work than a sick baby so I'm glad to let him handle it. In other news, we went to Chicago last weekend without the kids to celebrate our 10th anniversary and it was GLORIOUS! We shopped and ate and drank and slept in and didn't wipe anyone else's butt all weekend. What a dream!

[thoseareradishes]

mpc , yeah, no swaddle isn't going great. She's able to fall asleep easy enough, but later on flings herself all over her bassinet, her pacifier comes out, then I have to hold it in until she falls asleep, because she cries if it falls out. I dream of the day she can get it back into her mouth by herself.

Yeah I don't get the complaint about washing bottles. It's not my favorite chore, but it takes like 5 minutes (and we use the pain in the ass Dr. Browns bottles).

Anyone have a recommendation for a white noise machine that has cricket/night sounds? We have a homedics one and there is a super annoying background noise in the cricket setting that drives me nuts.

[King26]

I don't get the bottle thing either. It takes minutes.we also have the dr. Brown's and they have double the pieces. Usually h will wash them while I'm breastfeeding which works.

My child is sleeping poorly tonight. Last night he slept in 30 orv40 minute intervals and went like that all day and screamed in between. Tonight hebis going in 1 hour intervals but is happy so I guess I'll take it. How am I making it on 4-5 hours sleep a night? I'm afraid I'm going to crash and not hear him one night

[dellabear]

Possibly unpopular opinion: I wouldn't CIO for an infant but a little crying won't hurt him and letting a baby fuss a little is the first step towards them learning to self soothe. Your mama instincts won't let you sleep through much anyway.